I was reminded this week, after seeing a very adorable photo, of a very poignant moment in my childhood. I was in the first grade when a parent came in and provided a special treat to the class. She volunteered to paint our faces. I remember everyone being so excited by this. All the girls were having their faces painted like princesses with rosey cheeks, red lips and blue lids. It came to my turn and mine seemed to take longer. When the mirror was lifted, so I could see the finished product, I saw a white face, red lip and black star around my eye. My face immediately fell because I didn’t understand why I couldn’t be a princess, but instead I was the starchild (Paul Stanley’s rock-n-roll character from KISS). I had to ask. The answer has stayed with me until this day. She said, “you aren’t a princess; you’re a rockstar.”
I’ve thought about it several times throughout my life (some may call it an adverse childhood experience…I call it enlightenment…lol, really). But as I’ve had a little time to really think about it, I had an epiphany of sorts. Princesses have everything handed to them when they are born. They expect everything to be given to them as part of their reign. They are born or married into their title. Yet how many stories have you read and seen about the princess running away from her life?
Now the rockstar… The rockstar on the other hand has created her life, constantly growing from what she’s learned about herself and the world around her, living sometimes unconventionally and testing those boundaries. The rockstar doesn’t always make the right decisions and sometimes royally fucks shit up, but if she is true to herself, she shakes it off, apologies when necessary and then comes out with her next hit. She lives from a place within her soul, raw, pure and true, looking at the world around her to see how she can add beauty to it through her creations. The rockstar doesn’t sit in her ivory tower waiting for her prince to come.
Earlier in the week, I was provided the opportunity to return to Macy’s. I have been looking forward to this moment for two months, and while excited, I was also apprehensive. Could I ensure my health and safety and those around me? It’s been over three months that I’ve been able to hug my gram and aunt only seeing them from a distance. I know going back into the public this would prolong it even more. I’ve seen the videos and news segments on the company and the protocols they have implemented, I feel good about my company, but I’ve also seen how the act of wearing a mask or not wearing has become of “a violation your freedoms and constitutional rights” by some and for some the extreme of it’s my body/my right, comparing it to abortion. I think to myself, “do you think this is a joke?!?” Maybe these people have not been impacted. Personally, my uncle was hospitalized with COVID-19. Thank God he recovered, returned home, and the rest of his family wasn’t affected. However, I’ve also heard from others whose loved ones weren’t that lucky.
Then there are those that have compared the disease to the flu and how the flu has killed many more people, then I saw a post by someone I completely respect. He stated, “Lethality over time overlayed with society’s response. <flu statistics> 80k over 24 months with everyone going about their lives. <Covid-19 statistics> 100k over 5 months with the country on lock down, travel stopped, public gatherings halted.” via Alex Flores.
And I understand the impact to the economy. I have been blessed to have qualified for unemployment (something I have never used before), had my medical insurance paid for by Macy’s through the end of June, and not have many bills. I’ve had past experience of living paycheck-to-paycheck and working with the working poor so I empathize with those small business owners or self-employed who have been devastated economically during this time. However I commend the governor of New Mexico, who is thoughtfully opening up the state. We don’t know what this virus will do yet I’m happy she is erring on the side of safety. Because I have been blessed, I have created a balance of supporting my community by purchasing products from small businesses and local restaurants. However because I also wanted to have a job (that I love) to return to, I also purchased from Macy’s during my time at home.
It’s incredible how flowers brighten my mood–these from Desert Flowers Friday delivery. I can’t wait to hang this fab painting from local artist, Roberto Lara. After finding out that Nishi was being shuttered, I decided to recreate Cacio e Pepe using local, freshly made Tulipani Pasta.
It kills me every time someone posts, shop local only…because corporations will come through this but small businesses won’t. I believe, and have been an advocate for many years, that you should always be supporting local and small….but you should be doing it every day, not just during this pandemic. To say that larger entities will be fine, just isn’t true (ie: Pier 1, JC Penney, Neiman Marcus…). I found out that about Nishi closing in NYC. 😔This East meets West Italian fusion restaurant was my introduction to Momofuku back in February 2019. I had an incredible dinner filled with mouth watering pasta (keto cheat day) and lustful wine pairing, laughter and conversation. When I visited NYC, this past February, I walked right by it one day and thought about that night, but also thought I needed to go back. Unfortunately, that won’t be a possibility.
I was taken back to that post www.HopelessCauseAtelier.com/I-needed-a-fix. I had tried to order that wine, but had no luck so I opted to reach out to the winery, what I found was an incredible connection. I wrote an email stating:
Cheers!
I hope this finds you and yours healthy and safe. I am writing today because I fell in love with the Arbe Garbe 2015 at Momofuku’s Nishi pasta pairing dinner back in February 2019…so much so that I wrote about it. “The third round stopped me in my tracks. The risotto melted on my tongue with its richness, but even more so I fell in lust with the wine (if you can lust an inanimate object). The aroma was so delicate, floral and honestly, seductive. I kind of wanted to dip my finger in it and rub it behind my ear, but I refrained. As I sipped the wine, it was buttery, crisp and delicious. The vine came from Sonoma, but had roots in Italy. I constantly brought the wine glass up to my nose just to inhale its aroma. We continued the evening talking, laughing and learning about the food and wine presented to us. I told him I needed to walk after and asked if he had time to go get a drink. Before we left, he gifted a bottle of the Arbe Garbe.”
A few weeks ago, I had attempted to order a few bottles of the 2018, but it seems you don’t ship to New Mexico. Today, I found out that Momofuku is shuttering the Nishi location in Chelsea. That and missing NYC something fierce, I craved your wine even more. If it’s not possible to ship to NM, where I can find your wines?
I wasn’t expecting such a thoughtful response.
Hello Dara Sophia,
Thank you for your beautiful message. I tried to answer earlier, but decided to click on your link first so I got sidetracked and tripped out on your blog for a few hours! A few lifetimes ago I have been in fashion retail and considered going into fashion design myself. Life played out differently for me, but my passion for fashion still persists. I absolutely love your description of the Arbe Garbe 2015, I would say one of the best I’ve ever read, including acclaimed wine writers. We don’t ship to NM because we don’t have a lot of following there so far. For this time, please go ahead and place your order. Keep shining!
I will be receiving the wine this week. I will be saving it until the time I can enjoy it with others. This exchange reminded me of the importance of connection. Since, I can’t see most of my loved ones I have found other ways to let them know I’m thinking of them. Whether it’s through text messaging, social media, drive by parades, socially distant long walks, picnics, hikes and Friday Fundays, baking and delivering or having gifts delivered to them. I have tried to keep in contact one way or another with my friends and family all over the world. However it’s been hard not to physically hug and touch.
So after two months (or 64 days), this Friday I returned to my role at Macy’s. What I’ve learned during this time…
While I LOVE my solitude, I NEED my people…like the air I breathe. Not being able to hug, touch, and show them my smile is not being human.
I LOVE to cook, bake, experiment….CREATE. This is my happy place. I now understand why my grandma hums as she cooks. I like trying new things and what I LOVE most is seeing the eyes, of the people I cook for, roll back in enjoyment.
After so many recent let-downs, I could not find my enjoyment in fashion design until I saw the smile on my dear heart’s face when we had her graduation dress fitting this week, and I received requests from two admired photographers, who wanted to collaborate…then all my sadness from not moving forward with Project Runway and Paris Fashion Week went away. Poof! 💜 While life won’t always give you what you want, it will give you what you need (thanks Rolling Stones).
You know I’m missing NYC something fierce if I’m posting a subway photo. 🙁
How much I LOVE NYC and still want to move there, even after everything.
We are all one crisis away from ultimate destruction and discovery.
When facing mountains that test your stamina, commitment and fortitude, if you have the right mindset and people on your team, you will enjoy the beautiful view from the top.
There is balance in everything…if you love greasy fast food French Fries, don’t let someone shame you, if you’ve been blessed during this time, help your neighbors, support those who need you in whatever way you can.
We need to bring back the drive-in (I learned after posting this that the Governor blocked the drive-in in Las Vegas, NM from opening….WHY?!?)
Enjoy moments with the people you love…laugh wholeheartedly, cry, tell stories of the past, make plans for the future and stick to them life is TOO SHORT.
Be surrounded by beauty, music, kindness and big dreams and not the ugliness that is SO sensationalized these days. You never know who you are inspiring.
That I have free will and while I don’t like to be told what to do, sometimes you’ve got to go beyond yourself and think of others (even when you can’t breathe, that breath fogs your glasses, and the straps hurt your ears).
While the future is uncertain, I don’t have time to waste on worry or fret. Life will throw obstacles in your way, things may not work out as you hope, plans may change, but don’t give up on you and your ability. Those obstacles will help you work harder, better, stronger.
That I AM A ROCKSTAR!!
My first day back, totally kicked my butt. I don’t know that life will return to what it used to be, but I am okay with what I can be. La vita è un dono
I’ve always been one to take risks, even when I didn’t think I was. I’ve believed in pulling up my own seat to the table if there wasn’t one carved out for me. I believe in the power I have to create the world I want to see and the voice to share that vision with others while caring and supporting their needs. I am going forward on this Memorial Day with this reminder.
Be a rockstar, go forward doing what you believe in and do what is right, not what you think you are entitled to (I’ll save the story of the soldier for another day).
So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”
J.R.R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings
This was taken March 31, 2020
Kiki died in her sleep on Tuesday, April 7, 2020. Before we went to bed that evening, we spent time on the golf course under the spring breeze and sunset. I blew bubbles as I rubbed her and Chibi investigated the surrounding area. We went for a walk but she hadn’t eaten and barely drank water that day.
Wednesday morning I woke, jumped off the couch and into the shower while I could and before her presumed whining started. I got dressed, came out to the living room, and didn’t hear her call for me. I walked over and noticed she was not breathing. Kneeling next to her, I reached out and found her body was cold. I had been in contact with the mobile vet to set up her appointment for euthanasia earlier in the week. This time, I was asking them what I should do next now that she had passed. They responded immediately and suggested that I reach out to Best Friends Pet Cremation. I called, but it was before hours so the answering service provided details and took my information. I was grateful for the kindness and tried rather unsuccessfully not to cry throughout the conversation. The thoughtful team called me back immediately when they opened. Because of social distancing practices, they took payment over the phone. They asked that I deliver her body to their facility, remain parked in my vehicle, and call back upon my arrival so someone could meet me at my jeep.
I wrapped her in a royal blue towel (for the QUEEN that she was). I slowly made my way to their facility and I did as instructed. A kind woman came out with a face mask, gloves and surgical gown, carrying a small basket to take her away. Again, I tried not to cry as I watched her walk away, and again, rather unsuccessfully. I decided to go for a drive heading east on Menaul to Tramway I took Tramway North through the North Valley. I decided to drive through my childhood neighborhood before returning home. I informed my minis and then shared socially.
My heart was absolutely shattered. She was the DIVA QUEEN in my life with so much personality. However, the experience made me think about two things. First, I was so incredibly grateful to be home during this time. If she didn’t sleep, I didn’t sleep. Not having to go to work, I didn’t have to worry about sleeping through the night. From March 17th through April 7th, she was basically right next to me (unless I tried to escape for a shower, the bathroom or to make something to eat). However, the rest of the time, I was holding her, taking her for walks or outside to use the bathroom, giving her baths when she did have accidents, and setting up her bed right by my yoga mat or in my Atelier. The second thing that occurred to me is while we’ve been confined to our homes, life still goes on. Life and death. I can’t imagine funeral services during this time and not being able to gather to mourn a loved one. It was hard with Kiki, but again I was grateful to all my family and friends that mourned with me and sent flowers. It truly helped.
Walking in sunshine, rain and snow…yes, sometimes it snows in April.
That night I was able to sleep in my bed for the first time since February 8th. It was quiet, too quiet, and I didn’t sleep well. Chibi and I continue our walks and he’s become entirely too spoiled. I am trying to create a routine for him that I can keep up with upon my return to work.
I love when our memories pop up…this, 5 years ago.
The following week was another emotional roller-coaster dotted with Easter and not having the availability celebrate with my family and Jennifer’s memorial anniversary. During the month of March, our Macy’s team had designated Roadrunner Food Bank as our Bag Hunger campaign recipient. What this meant was that our change round-up campaign benefited the organization, we had a monetary goal for employee donations, and we were to volunteer hours at their facility. Unfortunately, all of this was cut short. So I decided the best way to honor my friend, was to volunteer for this organization, that I knew needed the help right now.
Her memorial anniversary fell on Friday, April 17th this year. I knew I wouldn’t be able to volunteer without some emotional barrier that day. I opted to volunteer on Wednesday, April 15th. I arrived at the facility with some apprehension.
Always introverted, within the past month, I had almost become recluse and agoraphobic (I can’t go to enclosed places with large crowds, having anything I can delivered, and when wearing the mask, I feel like I’m suffocating). So when I arrived at the parking lot, it took everything for me to get out of the jeep.
Roadrunner was completely organized with each required step listed on large boards. First, volunteers would proceed to bathrooms to thoroughly wash their hands. Then, we stood in a socially distanced line to put on gloves, complete a waiver and volunteer expectations form. Next, we waited until we received instruction. There were approximately 30-40 volunteers during this shift, ranging in age, and the room was completely silent and almost eerie with the lack of purposeful excitement that volunteering brings. We were broken up into groups. My group was assigned to build frozen food boxes. Again, we started off quietly, but as we got in our grove, we began to work in a rhythm and with a sense of camaraderie. The majority of the boxes contained pork roast, Alaskan pollock fillets, a block of cheddar cheese, a pint of milk (until the supply ran out), ham, and frozen peaches. It was the hardest manual labor I’ve done in a month yet incredibly soul filling. I was grateful I followed through on my commitment. It was the best was to honor my friend.
That week, I also shared my favorite photos of her throughout the years. I don’t know why I always feel weird about doing that, but I do. Such an incredible beautiful soul, I just need my reminders of her every so often.
Now that my schedule wasn’t completely dictated by a 12 lbs pug, I kind of fell into a path of nothingness. I had fallen off my Keto diet, my sleeping pattern was a mess, I wasn’t doing much more that two walks a day, and had binged on more Netflix than I’d like to admit to while probably, nah let’s get real, definitely, having too much wine. That lasted for about a week. I let myself slip down this slope until I kicked my own ass into gear.
I started jumping on invitations for virtual happy hours and socially distanced picnics in the park. I started walking the Bosque (creeping upto 30 miles now), running, pulled out my P90X dvds, and added time to Madfit and Yoga with Adriene, all while ensuring Chibi got his time walking.
While running one morning, I realized it had been two months since I had seen my gram even though I run through her neighborhood often. I reached out to my aunt and asked if it would be okay to run by, call her when I’m out on the street and have her and my gram come to the door. As much as I wanted to hug her and go inside or to her beautifully manicured backyard garden, she is 90 years old, so I stayed about 30 feet away as I asked her how she was doing, and about her garden. She asked about me and my minis. She too was upset about Kiki’s death (they had a mutual love for each other). I blew her kisses, and made my way down the road, eyes filled with tears.
Throughout this time, I’d hear from family and friends asking about Project Runway. The season was planned to start tapping in June with the big reveal on the winner during SS21 NYFW. I had been reading different articles about designers and fashion weeks, in general, canceling or postponing fashion week related events. It wasn’t until April 22nd, that I received a message that I knew in my heart of hearts I’d receive.
I was grateful that it wasn’t the “thanks for your time but no thank you message”. I am grateful for all of you reading who have supported me before and after. It really helps me in times like this. It also makes me laugh, because of course I’d be invited and move through the process during a global pandemic. If I didn’t have bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all. LOL!
Sadly, I haven’t been entirely inspired to create beyond sketching and draping fabric on my dress form. I am still hoping for a burst of inspiration, even as Paris Fashion Week is feeling a little out of grasp this year.
Travel memories and images that make me SMILE (IG: HauteNMGirl)
I tried to stay off of social media and the news, unless it was to share beautiful things and to read things that wouldn’t make me crazy. BUT, I missed (and still do) my people. As an introvert with “Chandler” smile (and only comes alive when feeling the warmth of a kindred soul), I’m totally missing you during this time. There were a number of years that I didn’t like to take photos. I used the excuse that I’m behind the camera. Just know that when it’s ok to do so, I will be hugging on you tightly, taking photos (Chandler smile y todo), scheming ways to better impact the community and creating wicked fashion.
I don’t consume my time with the news. However, there have been a couple of things that have ABSOLUTELY boggled my mind (beside the lack of leadership of our egotistical, and completely senile President—that would be a completely different post except his ego loves for ANY mention of him).
There is so much wrong with these pictures
The first thing that I just can’t wrap my head around is that as an industrial nation, we don’t have the infrastructure to take the food that is being dumped by farmers and distribute it to food banks and restaurants that are feeding the front-line workers? In my mind, this would be a good stimulus investment, but what the fuck do I know. Honestly, I just don’t get it. Here is one of the first articles I read that infuriated me, CLICK HERE if you’d like to read it yourself. And, there have been so many more since.
courtesy of Brene Brown
The second thing, is found in our backyard, here in New Mexico. I read an article about the Navajo Nation. Now if you follow the news, you’ve learned that the area that encompasses the four corners area, has been hit hard with not only the corona virus, but in high numbers of deaths related to the virus. When you don’t have electricity or running water, it makes it difficult to disseminate information and not to gather to get your basic needs, or to wash your hands for 20 seconds to help stop the spread (WHEN YOU DON’T HAVE WATER). Again, how in the hell is it 2020 and our own brothers and sisters don’t have access to basic needs.
In response to the needs of my neighbors, I’ve opened up my Bonfire account again. This where so many of you reading this have purchased your Hopeless + Cause Atelier to support my trek to New York and London Fashion Weeks. This time ALL proceeds will be split between Roadrunner Food Bank and Navajo & Hopi Families COVID-19 Relief. The Hopeless + Cause Atelier store will be open through May 15th. If are interested and can support this campaign, I am TRULY grateful. The more sold in merchandise, the more raised for these organizations. To view and/or purchase, visit:
This week, as states were starting to slowly open back up, I learned that Macy’s will be opening 68 stores across the country with the remaining 775 stores opening within the next 6-8 weeks. While I don’t have an exact date for my store. It made me happy to realize, that hopefully soon I will get back to what I love.
Of course, the world will be different. Everything I used to do as a personal stylist/shopper will have tweaks. You won’t see my smile beaming, unless you can see my eyes crinkling behind my mask (which will now be required). I will be taking great care to ensure your safety and mine. It is going to be a time of change and everyone will have their way of reacting to it. Here are a few things I will be taking with me.
I came across this posted note as I was exploring London Town last September. At the time, I thought it was one of the many “notes” left by my guardian angels as I kept stumbling upon throughout my trip. I had no idea how prolific it would be. I saw a post this week about this very subject, and as we hope to transition to the new normal, it is worth resharing. 💜
🛑 Some people don’t agree with the state opening…. that’s okay. Be kind. 🏡 Some people are still planning to stay home…. that’s okay. Be kind. 🦠 Some are still scared of getting the virus and a second wave happening….that’s okay. Be kind. 💰 Some are sighing with relief to go back to work knowing they may not lose their business or their homes….that’s okay. Be kind. 👩🏾⚕️Some are thankful they can finally have a surgery they have put off….that’s okay. Be kind. 📝 Some will be able to attend interviews after weeks without a job….that’s okay. Be kind. 😷 Some will wear masks for weeks….that’s okay. Be kind. 💅🏻 Some people will rush out to get the hair or nails done…. that’s okay. Be kind.
❤️ The point is, everyone has different viewpoints/feelings and that’s okay. Be kind. We each have a different story. If you need to stay home, stay home. But be kind. If you need to go out, just respect others when in public and be kind! Don’t judge fellow humans because you’re not in their story. We all are in different mental states than we were months ago. So remember, please be kind!
I’ve always loved looking at the clouds to see what I find. This particular day was a Koi pond.
The other BIG lesson is to appreciate EVERYTHING. The time given to us is all we have, you determine what to do with it. I am sending you so much love and I truly miss you.
It’s day 298 of quarantine here in my casita…while it feels like it, it is actually my 20th day and I’ve been officially furloughed from Macy’s. I knew this would be coming when I heard that the President called for everyone to stay at home until April 30th.
I am so incredibly blessed and thankful for those that reached out to see how I was doing after the news hit. Honestly, I was sad that I couldn’t get back to doing what I love and the people I work with. However, I was in complete agreement that this was the right decision. I have what I need to tide me through. I am at home with Kiki and Chibi. We walk daily and spend time on the empty golf course soaking up the sun when it is out.
The first week, I let myself go through all the emotions. I have been following the Keto diet for the past year and haven’t had carb cravings at all, until I had been sequestered to my casita. I’ve baked more than I did at Christmas. I didn’t keep up a daily routine and let my fitness fall to the side beyond taking the pups for a walk. That was partially for my sanity but it has been a necessity because Kiki can no longer walk on her own. Not only can I tell that she loves being outdoors by the way she wags her tail, but it is also vital to ensure she goes to the bathroom outside and not on her bed.
The gloomy, cloudy and windy weather picked up on my mood and fed into it. I let myself feel all the feels. I didn’t get upset with myself for feeling this way, but I also didn’t become that emotion. I gave myself the space and time to work through it, still journaling and writing down what I was thankful for because there is still so much I have and can give during this time. It wasn’t until I watched a Youtube segment by one of my favorite authors, researchers, and story tellers, Brene Brown, that I was able to pull myself out of this dark place.
This interview was a reminder that it is okay to not be super productive during this time, but for my own sanity I had to set boundaries. I reduced my time on Facebook as I realized it feeds my anxiety. I instead decided to post on Instagram. I would post photos of things I found beautiful to me: places I traveled and wanted to travel, things that inspired me an things that made me smile. I started following more accounts that fell in these categories. I made a commitment to check in on friends and loved ones. And as I wrote in my journal about what I was grateful for, I added a list of suggestions for things to do so I felt like I had a sense of accomplishment since I no longer had my usual routine. I am still planning on Paris Fashion week for SS21, so in working toward this goal, I’ve committed to 10-15 minutes each day learning French on Duolingo. These commitments helped me feel like myself again. However, I also made the commitment not to shame myself if had an off day.
I still haven’t heard from Project Runway. In fact, I saw the casting company extended the date to April 1st, and then to April 8th. I don’t know what that means for my application, but nothing makes sense right now. Although this time at home would provide the perfect opportunity to create and design, I think my mood had created a mental block and I could not drawn enough inspiration to design…well, until I came across a fellow designer’s post on the material he designed.
Up until this point, I had been playing with the notion of roaring into the spring and summer collection, but that roar came to a screeching halt. As I was scrolling through my feed on March 28th, I was stopped in my tracks. This vibrant image spoke to me by its broken beauty, separateness and how solitary items, when pieced together created cohesiveness and a full story. I reached out to the designer, Benton Burford, whom I follow because of his beautiful design (he’s primarily into interior designs), to see if it would be possible to get fashion fabric. He immediately responded and was excited by the opportunity to collaborate. It then made me think about a couple of designs I had been playing with.
I had been playing with positivity and empowering words. I have wanted to work with a graffiti artist to design on fabric for about 5 years, but the last person I had contacted didn’t follow through and at one point when I tried to create the script on my own. It was quite laughable. As serendipitous as life happens to be, I had been connected with a local chef, Bryan Romero, to work on a culinary fundraiser. I started following his account because as I said I wanted to follow beauty, and his culinary creations were indeed that, but what I found is that he also has a fine arts background and on a few of his stories saw that this included street style graffiti so I asked if he would be interested in collaborating. I thought his script on fabric would pair beautifully with Ana’s tattooed art, whom I was already in the process of collaborating with. Chef Romero went on to suggest an artist friend of his, Berto Lara, aka Blando Bland, and my mind was blown. I see all these artists and their contributions to what I would create not only in a ready-to-wear, street style look, but also very glam and high fashion…the heart of my design aesthetic of edgy-demure. As I started pinning these images to my Pinterest Board, a beautiful theme came through…chaos. In this random disorder with irregularities…there are underlying patterns that have come through. Colors, patterns, silhouettes started to fill my mind.
It made me think of what is happening in the world right now and chaos theory or the butterfly effect and how a small isolated event can affect the bigger picture. How artists from NYC, Texas and NM can impact what I plan to create and for the first time I was excited. I started playing with material again.
I started dreaming again. This time with a table in a field filled with friends and family. I was hosting a dinner that I had made (and no one got food poisoning). As I sat back and listened to conversations, laughter and good cheer, I realized that this was important to me. As the glorious sun set, Red Light Cameras began to play (random I know, but it was my dream).
I woke that morning with the desire to share that dream with the individuals who were in it. It was my way to let them know I was thinking of them and even more importantly for them to know to be prepared for an invitation on the flip side of this pandemic. That was a good morning.
This morning, I woke with the realization that life is filled with the good, bad and the ugly. If you’ve been following along for a while you know about Kiki’s health. Today, I understood based on the fact that she didn’t eat or drink, that I’d to have to put Kiki down and my whole being shattered. I haven’t cried this much in two years and as I type this blog, the tears once again stream down my face. What the FUCK is up with April! I made this decision to not be selfish anymore. As much as I pray for a miracle, I know this is the right thing to do, but because of the nature of the world right now I had to schedule this appointment. That action broke me and luckily I could communicate with the vet via email. Which I know I will be going back and fourth, high on emotion, so if I don’t respond or step away from the world right now, this is why.
I will be enjoying every last walk with her, holding her in my lap and looking into her big buggy eyes while I can. She has graced my life with her personality, attitude and love. Yes, I feel her love. It’s hard to feel like God. And as much as I complain about not being able to work, see family and friends, and being free to do what I love, I am so incredibly grateful that I have been home to share this time with her. This is a reminder that we all have good days and bad days, but it is what we choose to take with us through learning will help us grow to better human beings.
There are so many things I have learned during this time. And even as one who lives life to the fullest, this experience at home has helped me to appreciate relationships even more and to focus on what’s important because it is so fleeting. I plan to create even more beauty and love in this world. And what I’ve learned the most is in all the gravity, lightness, and chaos, that life has to offer, I hope you will remember how beautiful it is.
I am on Day 6 of social distancing. Macy’s made the brave decision to close its stores on Tuesday, March 17th. I was actually home that morning because I had chemically burned my cornea the day before and wore my contact throughout the day and was in pain and couldn’t quite see out of my right eye (only me right?!?). I’ve passed the time prepping for my Project Runway interview, taking lots of walks with the pups, baking (and trying not to eat it all), cleaning, working on projects that I have put off because I didn’t have time, and dancing around my house while drinking wine (what?!? times like this call for measures like that!!)
A virtual cheers with friends…and to all of you out there!
How are you all doing? Are you still working? Do you have all you need to get through this time of flattening the curve? I’d love to hear from you (you can comment below or text or DM me). And I’m sending you a big virtual hug until I can again, and a big cheers to your health, your safety and your sanity.
Since so many have asked, I thought I’d provide an update on my Project Runway path. If you’ve been reading along, you know my application was accepted to move forward in the second round, an in-person interview. It was scheduled for Wednesday, March 18th in Austin, TX. I reached out to my friend and incredible model, Carmen Powers, to see if she would model for me and if she could round up another 3-4 models to join her. She graciously accepted and got to work recruiting. Looking at flights it was going to easily cost $600 and upwards to $850. I figured I’d fly in on Tuesday, March 17th and fly out the evening of March 18th. There was an 8PM flight that would get me in just before 11PM on Wednesday which would give me the day to prepare for the interview. My plan was to fit the models on Tuesday and that would give me time to tailor my creations to make sure the looks would work for the next day. I asked for a 3PM CST interview on the the 18th. I was set and ready to go. However because of the cost of airfare, I wasn’t going to be able to purchase my ticket until Friday (the next pay date).
I went on to focus on the work that I loved at Macy’s. I met with so many friends that were still braving shopping in person (I AM SO GRATEFUL TO YOU FOR THAT). Evenings, I spent trying to determine which looks would best represent me as a designer and would provide a range of my work. I paused for a moment and thought about adjectives that best described my design aesthetic:
sustainable
edgy-demure
community
simple beauty
I thought I had the perfect cohesive, capsule collection of who I am and how I design. Now, I needed to get through the week, where life was changing day-by-day. And on Thursday, it changed to pivot to what was happening around the world.
Early that evening I received a call, not being at a place I could answer, a few minutes later I received a text to call asap. I realized it was the casting person, Rebecca, I had spoken with prior. After work, I returned the call. All in-person interviews had been canceled. I was to be interviewed via Skype by the casting director and the fashion director. After the call, in which it seems was multiple calls by my host, I reached out immediately to Carmen and informed her what had happened. I thanked her and told her this wasn’t the end…more to come! I sent texts to my go to models locally, first with the wrong date and when I snapped updated with the actual date – March 18th. I then went out to Facebook and Instagram.
I received a response from my friend, George, who is the director of events for the Hyatt downtown that he might have a space for me. I also received responses from other models I had worked with and Facebook connections that suggested others. I asked for comp cards to be emailed to me so I could see measurements, looks and find the appropriate model for my collection pieces.
Saturday, at work, was like a ghost town. Still, I wasl so grateful for those that came in specifically wanting to work with me but I ended up spending more than I made that day….anxiety shopping.
A few months ago, I invited a group of friends to join me at Hollow Spirits for their bartender challenge. What I found from overhearing the conversations and people from different aspects of my life coming together, is that there isn’t much that separates us, but something so easy as a family-style dinner is a great way to spend an evening. I continued it in February at M’Tucci’s new restaurant with plans to do a Sunday Supper once a month at a local establishment. Knowing the road ahead of us all, I reached out to them and said I was going to postpone the engagement until it was safer for a large group to be together. Instead, I asked that they spend their $25 that they may have spent on that dinner, supporting a local organization.
Quantini PC: Hollow Spirits
At the end of my day, I reached out to my friend, Lee, and asked if she wanted to meet up after work somewhere local following my own advice. We met up at the Copper Lounge for a cocktail and nachos. I don’t know how I had never been to this swanky bar. We talked about what we thought would happen at Macy’s…everything was still so unknown. The appointments I had scheduled for Sunday canceled, so I offered my services virtually. Luckily, I had an appointment for Monday, so I opted to take Sunday off and work Monday. We went on to Hollow Spirits another one of my favorite local places. Tried their Quarantini, noshed on their carne asada (absolutely love Chef Rogers’ menu) fries and bought bottles of their spirits. I convinced her to join me in Nob Hill the next day….knowing this area would probably be most impacted.
I picked her up from Macy’s and made our way to Central, parked behind the Nob Hill Business Center and made our way to the shops. We stopped in first to see my friend, Lyndsay, at Retail Therapy. It had been sooooo long since I had be able to stop by. We caught up on life and we purchased a few fun goods. We moved on to Gertrude Zachary but the mood on Central as apocalyptic. The streets were so quiet not the bustle on a Sunday that I had been accustomed to over the years of loving this area. Many shops and restaurants were closed. We moved on to Andy and Edie and I found a Paris barrette and Mermaid tee. We moved on to the new local shopping complex at Little Bear and bought sunflower seeds because I knew I could use them come spring. We purchased freshly made chocolate at the Chocolate Dude and popped in to Toad Road. We crossed the street and found a new lovely bath and body shop, LaVon Blu, owned by a mother and son duo. I stocked up on bath products. By that time we were famished, and I thought we could go support AMAZING chef, Bryan Romero, with Rancher’s Club. Arriving at the Crowne Plaza, again the parking lot was sparsely dotted with cars. It was even more haunting as we walked through the halls toward the restaurant. Sadly it wasn’t open but we found a space at the nearby lounge and ordered a bottle of Rose and lunch (and it gives me a reason to come back for a Sunday Supper). We sat by the windows and looked out at the patio. We talked about how fun it would be during the summertime. Headed home, I felt like I had done my part. I had also supported my other friends with online orders: the best beef jerky from Hunter Jaymes Meat Co and Clarity Pages (I figured if I’d be homebound I could work on my goals for the next 13 weeks) and later, 21 Flowers.
Many of you will be receiving these local gifts…well, except the Mermaid tee & Paris barrette. Those are mine.
I know I got off track from Project Runway…but I think it is important for me to share this. I COULD NOT BE WHERE I AM WITHOUT THE SUPPORT OF MY LOCAL COMMUNITY SO IT IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT TO SUPPORT THEM. I went on to work on Monday. I reached out to George about the room. He asked that we take a look at it after work. I was in. I had also posted to my dear friends in the beauty industry if they would be available to help with hair and make-up and they responded in full force. That morning I sent out an email to my models and beauty team with the basic details, stating I would have the final location pinned down that evening and the look book on Tuesday night. Within an hour, I found out that one of my make up artists may have been exposed to COVID19 and was in for testing. She was so disappointed that she wouldn’t be able to help me–I told her not to worry but to take care of herself. We’d have many more opportunities to work together.
The day was again slow with not much traffic in the store. A change in our operational hours was set and we were going to have a leadership meeting that afternoon to discuss further. I had one scheduled appointment and was definitely going all out for this appointment. I was grateful she didn’t cancel and boy did we put together an incredible wardrobe for her (Thanks S, xoxo). I left work just before 5pm and met with George. We looked at a couple of spaces within the hotel. I mentioned that the most important components were good lighting (natural if possible) and good wifi access. We found both on the 19th floor. I was set and EXTREMELY grateful. I headed home driving along Rio Grande as I do when I want to decompress. It had been lightly raining and it felt and smelt wonderful. The rain made the landscape so vibrant and fed my senses….I had been feeling a little nervous about doing a Skype interview. I LOATHE Facetime and Skype meetings because I can see myself and fixate on the dopey facial expression I make. I wanted the directors to see and feel my creations and you really can’t do through the virtual experience.
I got home and peeled out the contact that was burning my eye. I couldn’t believe I had gone through the day with it in there. I didn’t have my glasses with me nor my contact solution or eye drops at work. My eye was bright red so I rinsed it out several times and put a cold compress on it. During that time, a couple of things happened. George informed me he had been furloughed and would let me know who my contact would be at the hotel. FUCK! Here we go. I asked him if there was anything he needed. Next, I saw that a post was circulating about supporting local while knocking corporate entities. It bothered because: 1. Do you remember Sears and Kmart? and 2. People I had supported personally were sharing it. I couldn’t let it go, so I posted my own response.
Out of that came a really good discussion with my hair stylist and friend, Amanda. We are all living in this crazy time. We need to be looking out for each other and not creating division. I was in so much pain and in the back of my head thinking how am I going to get to a doctor and would this red eye be present for my interview. However, we had such an incredible conversation that I couldn’t hang up (we were on for an hour and a half…those that know me know I am rarely on that long). I went to sleep and woke up in the morning feeling a little better but my eye was still horribly red. Since I didn’t have any appointments, I opted not to go in. I laid on the couch for a little while longer with my cold compress and bandana on my eye. It was around 10:30AM when I heard from Lee. Macy’s had made the decision to close the stores through March 31st. Once again, FUCK! It was the right thing to do for the safety of their employees and customers but it definitely got in my head for the next couple of hours.
Once I snapped out of it and realized I can make it work, I reached out to my friend Melissa, the stylist and owner of Scissorhands Hair Studio. I asked if we could move the whole production to her studio. She graciously said, “YES!”. I reached out to my stylist Amanda, with Mark Pardo, and asked if I could get in to have my bangs trimmed. She offered to come by my casita after she got off work (if you saw my PR video then you saw how much I was messing with them and I didn’t want to do that for the interview). Now that Macy’s was closed, I reached out to the woman who has beautified my look for several occasions and MAC boss, Stephanie, to see if she could help. She was in. Finally, I got to work on the lookbook.
I went on to schedule appointment times, staggering them as much as I could to ensure proper social distancing. I did not take this lightly and informed everyone that if for any reason they did not feel comfortable about taking part, I completely understood. Since Sofi works in the health field and with vulnerable patients she opted to do her own hair and make up. I was totally fine with that. Melissa asked if I could join her early to talk through the looks. When I arrived, the salon smelt like medical grade disinfectant. I asked if I can help with anything. She wanted to ensure everyone was safe and we made sure that everyone washed their hands thoroughly and that the beauty team wiped down their tools with alcohol after each use. Stephanie arrived about 10:30am and set up her station. Giselle and Jade arrived about 11AM and Melissa and Stephanie got to work.
About noon, Alyssia arrived and shortly thereafter, Sabrina joined us. As hair and make up was being done. I was the countdown clock. Kim and Krystina hadn’t arrived yet. Kim was trying to track down dog food and Krystina got busy packing and lost track of time. I had asked that I too have mine done, nothing too much. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t look like the walking dead. As the team was busy working, the governor had called a press conference to talk through closures, beginning March 18th, for the service industry: bars, restaurants, salons, movie theaters and malls….any large gathering place. My heart sank knowing how much this would impact our economy and the livelihood of the team I had in the room. Melissa had already informed me that she had made the difficult decision to close the salon for two weeks but the governor’s announcement extended for another week.
Kim and Krystina arrived just before 1PM and they immediately got to work. Sofi arrived around the same time. The contact from the casting company informed me that I would be on at 2PM, but that I should be on standby in the case they were running behind. I made sure we were ready by that time. Just before 2PM I received a message they were, were running about 35-45 minutes late. Up until that point, I was focused even though everyone was asking if I was nervous. Now that we had the down time, I started to focus on that energy. I asked the ladies to do a run through and thought about what I’d say. I worked through where I’d stand and where the models would come in and in what order.
Wearing my tall, chunky heels, and standing on an uneven surface, I almost fell through the glass door as I grabbed a hold of the wall to steady myself and not go crashing down, I noticed Skype line was ringing, but I couldn’t answer it. I think I hung up and it rang again but I couldn’t answer it. I asked someone who knew technology to help. Alyssia came over and said it was ringing. I realized I was the one calling. SMH! I got a message they needed another 15 minutes. ARGH!!!! We got it all figured out and I realized I would not stand on the textured surface for the interview.
At about 3PM, the line rang and the casting director, Noelle, came on. It was a gloomy, rainy day so I was in a spot that I could pull as much light as possible. As we spoke, she asked about turning my phone horizontally so they could get the best look possible. She also mentioned turning because the sun behind me was acting as a back light and she couldn’t see my face very well. I could not get my phone to work properly so asked if I could use a computer. Both Alyssia and Sabrina brought theirs, as they tried to download the Microsoft Skype App on their Mac computers (not easy at all), Sofi got it up on her phone, horizontally as asked. We got back online. Again because of the sun and the fact that I would have to go back and forth between me and the models, Noelle asked if I could have someone hold the phone and I stand with the models. Adriana, Jade’s mom, jumped in. It took a few more minutes to get the fashion director on the line, but once he was we were on our way. Except Sofi’s phone notified us that it was at 20% charge. We ran and got Sabrina’s computer and my charging cord and plugged it in (I swear technology does not like me and I’m sure there was some remnant Mercury in retrograde energy here).
I introduced myself and brought in the first model, Giselle. I talked about the sustainability of my line, how with my community of creatives to bring effortless beauty to women who appreciate it. I went on to bring in Alyssia to talk about how I’m inspired and utilize unconventional materials like the cockatiel feathers in the neckline. What I create has a story behind it. Like the dress on Sabrina, the image is my NYC photograph printed on poplin. It is lightweight but still makes a statement. I next brought on Sofi and talked about her look using organic linen and remnants from an upholstery scrap book but the devil is in the details with the clock buttons. I switch out her look last minute because I realized, I had no pants in my looks and again wanted to show the sustainability and use of unconventional materials in my creations. I ended the segment with my Carmen dress. I teased that while I like glam I’m not Christian Dior who would design with yards and yards of material to make a point during the rationing period of the 1940’s (it garnered a laugh from the director).
I was asked about my education in this space and I told him my story and how this is my passion project. The session concluded with a recap of what he felt I did well and opportunities (just like a Project Runway episode). He said from our conversation that I knew my customer and my design aesthetic. He like the sustainability and story behind my line. He said my technical skills, specifically fit, were my biggest opportunity. And I knew it. If I had made more time I would have done a fitting and edits before hand. The call ended with Noelle stating I needed to send photos of the looks and I would hear one way or another for the next two weeks…back to the waiting game.
Yesterday, my grandma and aunt Lisa called to check in. I told them I was hanging in there. My aunt said my grandma was praying to see me on Thursdays. “Thursdays?”, I asked. “Yeah, on Project Runway, but only if it is safe.” I almost cried. We really are a community and when we support each other, we are unstoppable. So many of you have asked me how it’s gone…and believe it or not, I kind of black out in these instances. But I feel I was true to me. We’ll see if they see that too….
And if I can’t be on Project Runway, maybe I can be a “hermit star”?!?
Thank you for all the positive energy and prayers. There is definitely more to come in this Ms. Adventure. In the meantime, if you are blessed to have disposable income during this period, please consider supporting your local businesses and non-profits. I have provided links to the ones I’ve noted above. I know I could not do what I do without their support and please feel free to share your favorites in the comments. I believe in the power of positivity, so until I can give you a big hug, laugh with you hysterically and loud where you can hear it across Macy’s or where ever we may be, and travel to see you, know that I am thinking of you and will probably send you a text or DM checking on you.
With SOOOO MUCH light and love, Dara Sophia Romero
It’s crazy how the world has turned upside down and inside out since I returned from NYC. A month ago, I wasn’t worried about traveling and Coronavirus was barely talked about. Now, there is world-wide panic, countries are quarantining their residents and people are stockpiling toilet paper and disinfectant. In fact, I was supposed to be traveling to Dallas this week for a conference but it’s been postponed with part of it happening virtually.
Life at home has taken a toll as well. You may or may not know I have two small pups: a pug-chihuahua mix and queen, Kiki, and a long hair dachshund of pure joy, Chibi. They are in their latter years, 14 and 13, respectively. Before I left to NYC, I asked KK to stay with them because Kiki, especially, has been feeling the effects of old age. Partially blind and with nervous system issues, she had been having problems walking. Since I’ve returned, she’s become completely immobile. I’ve only slept in my bed a handful of times the past month and a full-night, uninterrupted sleep, less than that. I have opted to sleep on the couch with a make shift bed for her right underneath me. Chibi usually joins us and typically right on top of her. She seems to know when I have important days scheduled the next day and makes sure I’m only functioning on 3 or if I’m lucky, 4 hours of sleep (the days I’m off she tends to give me a full 6 hours only waking up two or three times).
She also has major anxiety if she can’t hear or see me. For example, right now I’m sitting on my cheetah chair typing this with her at my feet (or in my lap) with my music playlist going. She vocalizes this anxiety and it isn’t a quiet yelp. She makes sure everyone including the neighbors know that she’s displeased I’m not with her. I no longer go to the bathroom, take a shower or make dinner in peace. I do yoga with her make shift bed next to me. I have found that the only other things that appease her are her CBD treats and putting on PBS in her bedroom when I leave for work. We go for walks almost every morning (except those night’s I didn’t get sleep and have an early appointment). She rests in my arms and I squat on the side of the road when I feel her hips open to relieve herself. Chibi is just happy to explore and I smile that I have these moments with them. It is the purest form of love and I try not to think about the day I won’t have these moments with them, but I also know that I don’t want her to live in pain so that moment that I can no longer comfort her easily…well, we won’t think about that. You do what you need to for who and what you love, right?
Because of this self-absorption, and honestly because I don’t watch the news, I haven’t been completely up-to-date on global events. I thought this virus was so far away from me. I had finally set aside time to focus on Hopeless + Cause Atelier again and started sketching and while Paris Fashion Week is 7 months away, I knew it would be here sooner than expected. Then this week, something extraordinary happened.
Those who have been following my design story from the beginning know that I was encouraged to apply to Project Runway five years ago…and I did. I had this professional and beautiful video created. There were so many people excited by it…almost as much as I was.
Here is the interview about it and other things happening at the time.
I didn’t have a lot of experience under my belt, but I had gumption. I didn’t make it past the application phase. I tried a few more times. But honestly, didn’t think I had the drama that the show seemed to warrant, so I focused on the things I could accomplish…NYFW, London Fashion Week and Paris Fashion Week.
As I’ve said before, I love to create. And if my creations give me the opportunity to travel the world and write about it, then I have lived a full life. I would love and not pass up the opportunity to have a world renowned brand, but I really want to create for those individuals that value what I have to offer. I also want to create in a sustainable way and we all know how the fashion industry adds to the environment and not always in a positive way. Hopeless + Cause Atelier is my passion project and if you don’t know the origins, here is the LINK to find out the story behind it.
Tuesday, I was walking the floor at work and happened to check my email. I had a message from casting with Project Runway. The woman said she found my brand and loved my work. She asked if I’d like to learn more. I went over to my Instagram account and found messages there as well. I knew this wasn’t a fluke so I responded saying I’d be on my lunch for the next half hour and I would love to talk to her if she had the time. I gave her my number, within minutes she was calling. We spent the next 15-20 minutes on the phone. She asked me about my design story, my aesthetic and other bits about me. I mentioned to her that I had applied before but didn’t feel like I brought the drama. She laughed and said, I had the personality for the show. She gave me instructions to submit my video and look book that evening. She then asked what the closest city would be for me if I made it on to the interview portion. I bluntly replied, “New York”. Confused by this answer and proximity to where I live, she asked about New York restating that I was from New Mexico. I told her I could get there via red-eye and for less than many of the other cities they were interviewing in. She pushed Austin and I finally, begrudgingly obliged. LOL.
That day was filled with meetings, clients and after work planning sessions. The first meeting after work, I met with two incredible chefs, Tristan and Bryan, my fabulous, event planner extraordinaire, George and right hand for Macy’s events, Lee. Sofi showed up early for our Paris Fashion Week discussion and joined in the conversation. This meeting was to plan an awesome event raising funds for hunger issues utilizing Macy’s products and support and tapping into the talents of our local culinary geniuses. Within the hour, we had the chefs in place, judges, venue and theme, 86ing Hunger. I love people that aren’t just idea people but also get shit done. Sofi, Lee and I continued our conversation into Paris Fashion Week and again the Coronavirus came into question. I reinstated that no matter what happens, if the airlines are flying and the production company is hosting, I will be showing my work in September. I had also shared what had happened earlier in the day. Although, Lee had witnessed my conversation and the smile on my face throughout that phone discussion. I had asked Sofi if she would take the video for that portion of the application. The casting director told me not to spend money on having a professional video done…that an iPhone video of me and my personality and some of my work would suffice. By the end of the conversation, and because it was a Tuesday night, I told her not to worry about it.
I got home and decided there wouldn’t be a better time than now to do the video. I went into my dinning room, aka Atelier, and started filming with my iPhone….and of course, Kiki started whining in the back ground. Because I didn’t want my video to sound like I was beating babies in the background, I moved her to my bathroom just for the video. I had originally tried holding her and holding my phone to video, but I couldn’t do both. After take twenty-nine, I finally got a few segments to work with. Exhausted I went to bed, thinking I’d get up early to edit the video and finish my look book.
That didn’t happen. Kiki had a rough night and that meant me too. I had three hours of sleep, a radio interview for a prom event I’m co-hosting with Locker #505 and Macy’s district VP visiting. Project Runway would have to be put aside until my next day off, Thursday.
Refreshed the next morning, I got to work on editing the video, creating my look book and completing the application. There was so much thought put into the images for the look book. It made me contemplate where I’ve been, where I’m at, and the possibilities of where I can go. Yes, I am a fashion designer (and as someone once told me to quiet that mind fuck called impostor syndrome, “Fuck yeah, I’m a fashion icon bitches.” STILL HARD FOR ME TO REPEAT). Yet, I am humbled because I KNOW I could not have accomplished what I have all on my own. I need the models, beauty teams, photographers, event producers, right hand production managers, but most importantly patrons, to bring my creations to life…to breathe individuality, beauty, empowerment and to live a dream into reality. And that was heavy…but in a powerfully good way!
I went on to complete the application. It was different this time around. No questions were found asking about restraining orders. The question about what those closest to you would say is your best and worst quality was found again (I’m interested to learn what you think…you can comment below). I completed the entire package within two hours and sent the casting director the link for my video and the look book.
I had been posting the turn of events on social media with wonderful support. I went out to Facebook and a memory from 5 years ago appeared. It was the first time I had applied.
I shared the memory and added, “Wow, this memory just popped up…5 years ago today, I applied to Project Runway for the first time. It wasn’t under Hopeless + Cause Atelier. I almost gave up on this dream only a few months later until my 💜 wouldn’t let me quit. Since then, I’ve accomplished more than I could have ever dreamed. I’ve stumbled. I’ve gotten my ass kicked more than once. But, I’ve also achieved new heights and now, I’m soaring because I’ve followed my deep pigeon red, lopsided heart. ♥️ Who knew?!?” It was now in the casting team’s hands.
I went on to contacting clients, planning events and enjoying life. Friday came and as I went to take the pups for their morning walk, I dropped my phone. Completely cracked, I couldn’t use it. Grrr! I returned to work to find out that my much anticipated trip to Dallas to learn more tips for succeeding in my role and seeing all my incredible colleagues, was postponed due to the Coronavirus. What the heck?!? Was someone going to come in and kick me in the shins next. That morning, I talked with a model friend about an event she is producing and wanted to know if I would outfit DV survivors. Honored, I jumped at the opportunity. I ran over to the phone “fix it” store in the mall. Ran back and met with one of my favorite couples in getting some items they needed. I went on and worked on other appointments when again that afternoon I was stopped in my tracks.
I received notification that I was moving on to the next round. I tried not to scream as I was suiting a gentleman for Kentucky Derby. While he was in the fitting room, I sent a text to those closest to me. Then at the register, I blurted it out to this complete stranger. He thought it was incredible…I just couldn’t help it. I posted later that evening…
PC: Kate Rodriguez Duran Hair: Ignacio Ortega MUA: Angelique Taylor Models in shot: Brook Benham, Smitha Giano Addy Nicole Jewelry: MINU Jewels Graphic Design on Hera dress: Meri C Fox-Szauter Location: Downtown Contemporary Gallery #hopelesscauseatelier – first show November 5, 2015
“I had no idea where I’d be in 5 years but I had a dream, the work ethic and the tenacity to believe I deserve it. I’M MOVING ON TO THE NEXT ROUND #projectrunway. Thank you for all the love and belief. Keep the positive energy coming please. There’s still a long way to go. More to come!! 😘”
I am moving on to the next round and it’s almost unbelievable. I’ve learned to so appreciate those who support me and tune out those that I thought would, yet are silent in moments like this. I’ve started the planning process and have found that I have an incredible leg up with one of my favorite models nearby and available to showcase my work (plus recruiting others). I can’t share the inner dealings of the process, but I will be journaling my adventures and will share more soon. I just REALLY hope the Coronavirus doesn’t ground flights. And since my pug is sleeping, I think I’m going to take a nap.
Thank YOU for the love and support…and if it’s not too much to ask, please keep sending those prayers, love, support and good juju. It helps immensely.
You remind me, yeah You remind me of such sweet memories OhI saw you before baby It’s a deja vu honey Don’t you know that you remind me
You Remind Me – Mary J Blige
I have been traveling to NYC in February every year since 2013. It has been a constant for me and a savior from the winter blues, even when it’s a blizzard or lowest temperatures on record. I feed off the energy and it fuels my creative juices. I don’t know why January always seems so brutal but this year was no different than any other, just a new set of challenges. I was looking forward for this trip especially when my round-trip flight cost $5.20. And, after a few conversations, I was able to convince my friend, Sofi to go with me.
I headed out early because the Jet Blue red eye only runs Monday and Thursday during the week and I made a commitment to back on Saturday for La Noche Encantada. Beyond attending Fashion Week shows, I wanted to meet with my tattoo artist to talk about collaboration for Paris Fashion Week, have dinner with Amanda and Andy, fabric shop and get my brows done at Macy’s Herald Square (yes, I go to NYC for my brows, don’t judge). However, a HUGE opportunity was presented to me the week before my departure. The Louis Vuitton team from Herald Square reached out to the Stylist team to talk about the opportunity to sell to Louis Vuitton (yes, Louis Vuitton) to our clients when they use their Macy’s card. I was ALL over the opportunity, so I explained I would be visiting and we set up a time for training on the process and an overview of all the offerings.
Sofi would be joining me Wednesday night so I scheduled all my engagements before her arrival. I worked Monday; went home packed and headed to the airport at 10pm. I was pretty exhausted so I knew I wouldn’t have a hard time falling asleep…the only issue would be whether or not my row would be full or I’d be able to lay out. Thank you, God, I had the whole row to myself so strapped into the middle seat belt I laid horizontal and soaked out as much sleep as I could squeeze out to the 3 and a half hour flight. Arriving to NYC about 5:30am, I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. I was on a pretty tight budget for this trip and since Super Shuttle, formerly, my inexpensive way into the city, was no longer in operation, I put on my big girl panties and decided to take the subway to my hotel in lieu of an Uber or Lyft ($10.50 vs $40). I really had to wake up now and pay attention to where I was going. I had to switch trains once but made without too many issues in getting there (it was morning rush hour so the train from Jamaica Square was a little tight).
I arrived at the Doubletree Metropolitan about 7:30am and was able to check into my room with warm cookies about 9am. Exhaustion took over so I took off my clothes and climbed into bed with Vanderpump Rules on the tv as background noise. I came in and out of consciousness, finally waking up at 1pm. I was planning on meeting Amanda and Andy in Hoboken, NJ for dinner about 6:30pm. I jumped into the shower and dressed in layers because I know how cold the weather along the waterfront in NJ can be. I wore a sweater dress, nylons, over-the-knee boots, my North Face zip up hoodie and my faux fur coat and headed out. I decided I would head out to St. Patrick’s Cathedral, as I always do to say a prayer for me. Luckily, it was three blocks west. However, I noticed my hotel was caddy-corner from the historic Waldorf-Astoria, the grand dame hotel, and the first place I stayed in NYC back in 2005. Currently under a remodel, I couldn’t go in to see this beautiful art deco designed hotel but it started the chain of deja vu moments throughout this trip.
After a few prayers at St. Patrick’s in being in awe of the beauty this holy place hold for me, I decided to get my energy infusion and sensory overload from Times Square. I walked through and moved on to Herald Square. I wanted to find the Macy’s employee entrance before my meeting in the morning (I had been smiling ridiculously the week before at the thought that I was going into Herald Square to learn about Louis Vuitton…wait, did I tell you about this already…lol).
I continued on to the Path Station on 23 street. I was dying. The weather was gorgeous and I was wearing too many layers. As I walked up to the station, deja vu hit again. I had been there a year before, having problems with the ticket booth and being introduced to a ginormous subway rat, so as I descend into the bowls of the city, I was alert of what might pop out to say, “hello”, while having both cash and card ready to purchase my ticket. I arrived earlier than Amanda and Andy, so instead of hanging out in the train station with all the “real cool” people, I decided to walk to the restaurant since it was such a beautiful night. As I walked through the neighborhood, I asked myself if I could live there. The streets were quaint some still with charm like cobblestone streets and full gardens in the front patios with easy access to the city, I thought I just might.
I arrived a little bit early and got our table. They arrived and I greeted them with big hugs. I was so happy they could join me for a dinner early in the work week. Amanda asked about my plans this trip and we talked about life since I last saw them in December. I think I finally convinced them to come out to NM in May (fingers crossed). I loved that I was with them as their daughter shared her wedding video, so I got see it as well as Amanda’s emotional response to it–it was beautiful.
We continued to eat, drink, converse and laugh, especially at the Exit sign that was covered with a simple piece of paper that said, “This is Not an Exit”. They both said, “only in New Jersey”. We walked back to the train station embraced and headed our own ways. I boarded the train and got off at the 33rd street station, this time it was early enough that I wasn’t afraid I was going to be locked in underground. The night was so incredibly beautiful, I decided to walk back to the hotel (5 miles walked).
I crashed into a deep sleep but woke up a few hours later and made myself go back to sleep. I woke around 8am and realized I needed to leave the hotel by 8:30am to get to Macy’s by 9:00am. Walking traffic was a crowded as the subway the morning before. I envisaged walking to work and thought about where I’d live and my ideal job in the city.
As I approached the Macy’s entrance on 35th, I joined the mass going in and I got the goosebumps. I was so excited and felt like I was walking into Miracle on 34th Street. This was it the flagship store and I was training with the Louis Vuitton team (did I already tell you that?). The entrance was different than my own at Coronado. I checked in and presented my ID. I called my contact when I was informed that I would need to be picked up from this area. My colleague, Imran, came a few minutes later and took me over to the store within a store. I met Amanda the store manager and we started from the 3rd floor and worked our way down.
The top floor was a museum of beautiful hand panted trunks, women’s shoes and accessories. The two of them talked about how I would get an assist credit on orders placed with the Herald Square location. We talked about the seasonality of the product offerings which added to the exclusivity of Louis Vuitton.
We moved on down to the 2nd floor and the men’s offerings. I already had a client waiting for me to come back and work with him on a few accessories, so I asked a number of questions about the products.
We continued down to the first floor. I learned about the latest spring offerings and the luxurious fabrics, the design and the desire it all created. I snapped photo after photo building my portfolio for social media to generate the excitement that I could be the key in New Mexico for Louis Vuitton. Right now you can by fake ones, previously used ones or order on-line but I could help curate your collection directly. That made me happy and I really want to overachieve this goal as well as make the team aware of it so if the opportunity arrives in NYC…just sayin! After being given a goodie bag of the latest scents and some more photos, I headed upstairs to start the posts and grab a coffee. I loved saying, “I’m a Macy’s employee for my discount at Starbucks.” Around 11am, I made my way back to the hotel. I was planning to meet Anna, my tattoo artist at the Whitney for a conversation on creation and collaboration and to view the exhibit on Mexican Murals.
On my path back to the hotel and literally across the street from Macy’s is the Desigual flagship store. New York Fashion Week began for me in 2013 with a ticket to see Desigual at Lincoln Center. It absolutely changed my life in so many ways. I am grateful for heartache and the heartfelt life I’ve lived because of it. Thanks for reminding me La Vida es Chula and Sex. Fun. Love. ♥️💋
The weather was still incredibly mild for February so I decided I’d walk to the Whitney, which is on the westside near the Hudson river. As I walked through Chelsea, I stopped at a few mom and pop shops to look at fabric and such.I walked down the street of the Doubletree I normally stay at and smiled, I looked over to my favorite local coffee shop to see Malcom Gladwell step out. Now, I didn’t stop him to talk about his writings or ask for his photo, but knew it was him and smiled. I received a message from Ana saying it was looking more like 3pm, so walked around the corner I popped into the FIT museum to see the latest exhibit and to kill some time.
I guess I’ve visited so many times that the pieces I saw were from previous collections, yet I was still inspired. I continued west through campus and dreamed what it would be like to be a student. As I walked down 8th, deja vu hit me fiercely, but I had been there just a year before. As I walked past Dallas BBQ, I was reminded of my first official NYFW visit and being stopped on the street by a clairvoyant named Dallas and every time I see a reminder of Dallas, I want to reach out to her and find out what she currently sees in my life. I walked south past Momofuku Nishi and remember getting flustered when I couldn’t find it and having a smiling face peer out to great me and the wonderful dinner of pasta, wine pairing and conversation a cold February night, just the year before. I smiled and continued on.
Checking off my 3rd Eduardo Kobra mural…I absolutely adore them and hope to stumble upon all of them in my Ms Adventures in NYC
As I walked through the meat packing district toward the Whitney, I looked up and saw familiar lighting coming from a building in the distance. This trip I had a different view. Last June, I was enjoying cocktails from that view above wondering what was on the lower level. Today, I was there. I was early for our meeting time so I decided to visit the high line. I had been talking about going there every trip and especially when I was there last April when I thought I was going to be doing dinner solo on a beautiful spring day. I walked through the path and enjoyed the views the flora and the art that dotted the landscape.
Can you see the lights at the Top of the Standard?
I finally got in contact with Anna and we met on the 8th floor cafe. We started talking about our day and slowly moved into ideas about design and how to incorporate her designs into what I would create. I looked through her sketch book with intention from woman figures, to script to clowns, there were beautifully sketched pieces that I thought could be incorporated into a printed pattern or free-formed painting on fabric. We talked about out the options. As we wrapped up our discussions, the view from the windows called to me so I stepped outside to take it all in.
sketch by Anastassia Menshikova
We descended the stairs and went into the exhibits. Unfortunately, I paid the $25 ticket and the Mexican Mural exhibit wasn’t up yet. However, I saw a familiar New Mexico artist and the painting that my mom had a print of. We also appreciated a number of fashion based sculptures. We walked out about 20 minutes later.
As we walked we talked about tattoos. Anna mentioned how much tattoo artists hate getting them. I laughed because I assumed because of the sheer number of them each artist, I’ve seen, tends to have. Walking down the road she blurted out, as a pothead I feel it my responsibility to offer you some. I smiled thinking she must feel comfortable with me to offer. I declined but it brought up the discussion on pot and whether it had been legalized in NYC as I smelt it around every block in the city. She stated it hadn’t but it was decriminalized. That discussion went on to include whether or not you can drink or smoke before getting a tattoo. She said really it doesn’t make you bleed more if you drink but tattoo artists don’t want to deal with your drunk ass. She also highly recommended not smoking before going in for one if you don’t smoke on the regular because you don’t know what reaction you will have. I just figured I’d ask in case I want to take a shot of tequila the next time. LOL. We parted ways a few blocks down the road. Famished I stopped by Cava for a kids meal and made my way back to the hotel to prepare for Sofi’s arrival. Along the way, I stopped by a wine and liquor store. It was one on Madison that I had frequented two years prior when I was staying with Laura for my AW showing at NYFW and we stocked up on wine because a bottle for $9 is better than a glass for $10. As I write this blog, I finally googled why beer and wine aren’t sold in the same store. I guess beer is considered a bread product and can be sold with food. Wine and spirits are considered alcohol and alcohol and food can’t be sold under the same roof. HUH?!? Well, ok.
I saw you before baby It’s a deja vu honey Don’t you know that you remind me
You Remind Me – Mary J Blige
I got back to the hotel and relaxed for a couple of hours. Checking and responding to email; reading messages from colleagues whose positions have been eliminated from the company and feeling a little melancholy about it all. I was watching Twilight New Moon (the absolutely BEST one of the series) when Sofi arrived, around 8:30pm. As she was freshening up, I was scrolling through Instagram and saw a post from our social media team that the Style Crew members in NYC had a chance to see Jessica Simpson today at 6pm. AGAD!! I was just there earlier and wished I had seen it, so I sent a message to the team leaders saying sharing my bummery. It was a total missed opportunity.
The original plan was to go to dinner at this fabulous Chinese restaurant I had been introduced to in the East Village but after realizing we’d be leaving about 9:30pm and the restaurant closes at 10:30pm. We opted to stay nearby. I had told her about the igloos on the rooftop of 230 5th and since it still was a lovely evening we opted to go there. Of course I made Sofi walk, because it was only 23 blocks away and since we’d be noshing on appetizers and sipping cocktails it would be a great way to get our metabolism going (I don’t think she entirely believed me). When we arrived it was a little after 10pm and for a Wednesday night there was a good mix of people but it wasn’t super busy. We found an igloo to ourselves which was a nice break from the light breeze filling the air. The last time I had been here was 5 years ago, during the day and in May and the views are absolutely phenomenal with the Empire State Building within reach, around the other corner, the golden gilded Woolworth Building (sorry, Sof I thought it was the Met Life Building), and just a little further, the Freedom Tower. When we realized there wasn’t table service we got up to order at the bar. Fried foods and cocktails were on the menu tonight…OH BOY! With cocktails in hand we walked back to the igloo and found there were a handful of people there, both of us being wallflowers we opted to sit under the heaters in the open space. It was really nice until the breeze started picking up, but we had a great conversation about work and what we hoped to do for the next few days. We headed back about midnight, Sofi made me take the subway. Back in the room we drank more wine and continued our conversation until drifting off about 2am (10 miles walked).
dreamy gray day in NYC
I woke the next morning around 8am. I had an appointment at the brow bar at Macy’s. I tease that I fly out to NYC to get my brows done (I do but sometimes it’s months in between and I really am looking like a uni-brow…lol). Walking, I arrived just minutes before the store opened. I love the way Herald Square welcomes its guests with music and clapping. I made my way to the Benefit Brow Bar, saying a warm “hello” to Kosima, aesthetician. She asked about my trip and what shows I’d be seeing. We talked about her recent vacation to Jamaica and how warm and beautiful that was. After 20 minutes, my brows were separate and quite lovely. I asked her were the Last Act formal dresses were because 1. I was on a tight budget and 2. I still didn’t have my dress for La Noche Encantada.
As I was perusing the beautiful dresses and realizing Last Act pricing at Herald Square was not the same as Last Act Coronado, I realized I had a direct message from Noura Barnes, one of the leads for Macy’s social media. She mentioned there was another event happening on Friday and if I was in town she would share the invite. I asked her to please share. I also mentioned I was at Herald Square and if she had time I’d love to visit with her. She did but mentioned she was in the building across the street. I headed her way.
11:11
As I went through security and received my temporary badge, I had a reminder from someone that I was in the right place at the right time. I went upstairs and had a lovely conversation with Noura. She talked about the background of #MacysStyleCrew, about upcoming opportunities, and some changes within the organization. And like any good leader, she asked for my ideas and input taking notes she offered to look into it more. We talked for about 45 minutes and then like social media mavens took a selfie together. I headed out and realized that I needed to check with my team back home because they were taking on the fitting for the emcee of La Noche. I’m glad that I did because nothing was in place as I had asked, which totally frustrated me because I took the time to ensure that everything was in place. It ended working out smoothly and the emcee didn’t end up wearing the clothing, but I hate not looking professional and that could’ve been a reflection on me and my work. Because of that I needed to walk it out, so I headed back to the hotel on foot.
As I arrived, Sofi was ready to hit the town. We were both hungry so opted to go to Urbanspace, a cafeteria like concept that you could choose between several different restaurants in one location. We walked to the one near Grand Central Station (later realizing there was one right across the street from our hotel). The only event we had planned for the evening was the ASC Fashion Week Industry Party at Celon on 40th. I did want to continue to look for a dress and accessories so I thought I’d try Buffalo Exchange and Sofi was down. We headed west, but like every start to your trip in NYC, you need to go to Times Square for that energy rush. We did and I got a few great photos of her soaking it all in. We then headed down fashion avenue.
As we approached, FIT I asked Sofi if she wanted to she the exhibits. When she agreed, we went in. Unfortunately, the ballerina one I wanted to see wasn’t open yet…what the heck NYC two exhibits I’d miss out on this trip. We walked through the clothing as armor (me for the 2nd time) and then the black history month exhibit. We picked out our favorite looks in each. Outside the FIT was a coffee and tea pop up shop for the new CW show airing that evening, Katy and Keene. As I’m sure it was targeted for fashion college students what a great way to remind them to watch it that evening.
We continued a few blocks south when we arrived at Buffalo Exchange. I’ve shopped here so many times and love the selection I always find. I was immediately drawn to a black lace and leather Diane Von Furstenberg dress, a brightly colored animal print Kate Spade dress and then I almost fell over when I found a Halston Heritage dress on sale from the $40 asking price. The only problem, my boobs. Could I get a reduction in the next two days? Probably not, so after I found that it was only going to cost $30, I thought I’m going to have to get shapewear, which made me throw up a little in my mouth, but the dress was perfect…I needed to suck it up. Sofi found this fabulous off the shoulder black dress with a slit up to there and a fun black acid washed jean dress right out of the late 80’s. We took our purchases and started to make our way back to the hotel. We stopped at jewelry wholesellers along the way. She found some fun brightly colored earrings and I couldn’t make up my mind on what would be the right accessories for the dress.
It’s crazy to me how much negative attention Shakira and Jennifer Lopez received for their performances during the Super Bowl half-time show. They are strong, beautiful women who showed that being older is powerful when you are comfortable in your own skin and own who you are. YASSS QUEENS!
We made it back to the hotel and started to get ready for the evening ahead. I had started a conversation with a friend back in ABQ earlier in the day when I had come across a meme of Jennifer Lopez that said, “Latinas be like 132 years old”. I thought it was hilarious because no one ever believes I’m 46 years old which is a blessing. He didn’t understand my humor (I know it’s not for everyone but I think I’m flippin hilarious). We were ready and calling for an Uber. I opted to wear my over-sized, black waffled tunic with over the knee boots and my grams squash blossom necklace and Sofi wore her recent find with skyscraper booties (like she needed to add height next to me).
We got to the club and a dj was playing. As both self reported wallflowers, we opted to go to the bar and get a glass of wine before settling down at an open table. After a few photos and another glass of wine, we decided to hit the dance floor and danced until well after 11pm (HAHAHA I’m old).
We were hungry and since the bartender ignored our original order for food I told her we were way too close not to go to Shake Shack. Oh my heavens there’s nothing like it after dancing for hours. We got back to the hotel and continued our conversation. The plan was to do a guerrilla photo shoot in the morning and I suggested the Flat Iron Building. Let’s see if we’d make the 9am call time (8 miles walked).
“Today, I get to play photographer…let’s see how that goes.”
I dragged my butt out of bed about 9:30am. Sofi immediately mentioned we were pushing out the start time to 10am (that later became 10:30am). I was to be the photographer and we were being joined by one of her model friends that she met at the Coco Rocha camp last year. I threw on my athletic wear, hightops and put my H+CA hat on. No time for a shower. We took the subway to Madison Square Park. Now I notice everything that happens around me in this busy city but also in life…so this city can become overwhelming….the sights, the sounds, the smells, the closeness of it all. However, I love being that “fly on the wall” taking it all in and using it to inspire my creativity. This morning, I played photographer and can’t wait to see the “official” photos but for now, here are my behind the scenes.
And yes, I am officially adding photographer to my resume.
Luckily, Sofi has published one and it’s so fun! She entitled it “You can’t sit here” total Mean Girls reference…but I see power in it and the black and white filter makes it even more so. After grabbing a bite to eat, we took the subway back. I needed to get ready for the Cocktails and Corsets event at Herald Square and she was going to go to a casting for an upcoming show. I got dressed in my dungarees, white button up, red handkerchief, leopard print booties and red lips and took my Halston dress with me to see if I could find the right minimizing shapewear. Getting off at 33rd street, I arrived at Herald Square just as it started to rain, I walked in and headed up to the 7th floor where the event would take place in intimate apparel. I walked in at 2:38pm (the event began at 3pm) to a line so I took my spot and waited for a little over a half hour, talking to the other attendees and hoping my phone, which had been tweaking out the entire trip wouldn’t die on me). I checked in on Sofi and like me she was in a long ass line. However, I was indoors and she was outdoors, mentioned it was snowing at one point.
Once I approached the entrance, I received a swag bag that I kid you not weighed 10-15 lbs. I then proceeded to the selfie station to take a photo and post on Instagram thanking Noura and the Style Crew for the invite.
#macyslove
I proceeded to the lingerie and shapewear and realized I didn’t need an expensive sausage maker, I needed a minimizing bra. So I grabbed a pair of fishnet stockings (Roaring 20’s theme, plus I think they are super fun to wear) and a minimizing bra that was on a super sale. With my Macy’s employee discount and no sales tax, both would cost just over $20 (WINNING). I put on the bra and tried on the dress and viola it smoothed me out and made me look a little smaller. I loved the dress and the flow making it feel flapper-esque plus the color was absolutely fab. I’d just have to decided on shoes and accessories. After making my purchase and watching an impromptu lingerie fashion show, I headed downstairs to see if my contacts at Louis Vuitton were working because I had a client interested in making a pre-sale and wouldn’t it be AWESOME to make my first sale while still in NYC. He wasn’t there so I headed back to the hotel. The rain had returned to a drizzle but it was a little colder. I held my coat tight with all the extra weight and walked back to the hotel. I stopped again at the neighborhood wine shop and got a white this time to drink while we got ready for the NYFW week shows we were about to see as part of the Art Hearts Fashion production. I walked along the west side of Grand Central Station and was completely reminded of the opening scene in Before We Go, where Chris Evan’s character tries to help Alice Eve’s character get a cab (I adore this movie and exploring NYC with a stranger and realizing you need to own your shit even when you don’t know the outcome and “being okay with not being okay”). Since the show was in the East Village, I thought for sure we’d go to Szechuan Mountain House for their namesake caldron of soup and then around the corner to Angel’s Share so I could show her this fabulous Japanese speakeasy and we could enjoy a cocktail before the show.
Everywhere I travel, I people watch and make up stories about where they are coming from and where they are going.
We took the 6 and got off at Astor place. It was right outside a Starbucks I had frequented quite often in the past year. We walked along St. Marks and ascended the stairs to the Chinese restaurant. I had totally forgotten how crowded this restaurant gets and in that moment realized I should have made reservations, but in my attempts to see if we could be seating in a timely manner, I went to the hostess station only to be informed it was going to be an hour wait. We didn’t have the time so the next best option was Shake Shack across the street…just kidding. I had been told about Joe’s Pizza at Union Station and only 5 blocks north we walked and talked. I mentioned the demographics of the area with NYU nearby. It was Friday night and the streets, restaurants and bars were overflowing with college students. We got to Joe’s placed our order and as luck would have it, a table freed up. We sat down and started to enjoy our NY style pizza.
I think my eyes rolled to the back of my head in pure delight when a reporter and camera man walked in. She mentioned that the official Twitter account of NJ exclaimed that New Jersey was the pizza capital of the world just in time for national pizza day. She asked if we would share our thoughts. I guess she thought two chicas from NM were New Yorkers…not gonna, I loved it. Later, we found out we made the news.
After our bout with fame, we walked back over the Angel’s Share to see about that cocktail and again I forgot it was Friday night. Grrr!! I did have Sofi peek in and then we grabbed a Lyft to the NYFW venue, Angel Orensanz Foundation. We arrived on the scene and retrieved our press passes. My phone was dying and while I brought my backup portable charger, it seemed it wasn’t charged so when we entered the venue, I set up shop in the corner borrowing Sofi’s charging cord and plugging it into the wall outlet. I stood back and soaked it all in. From the formal gowns to the everyday wear to the street wear. There was something for everyone. I photobombed at every opportunity and exhaustion was starting to set in. Sofi wandered around the venue taking photos and seeing if she could vye for space in the photographers rafters.
We took our seats about 45 minutes later. This was the first time Sofi had been on this side of the runway shows and for me, this is where fashion week began for me, as an attendee. I do miss producing my show but it was nice to just enjoy it with an attendee’s perspective.
The three designers in this block told their own story which I loved. I thoroughly enjoy when you can see a vision, context and a narrative in a cohesive collection.
As we talked, I watched it from my designer perspective and Sofi watched it through her modeling perspective. I was happy to see Hunter in the audience. She modeled for me on a couple of occasions and was featured in my designs in the December 2018 issue of British Vogue.
The show wrapped up close to 11pm and it was our last night in town…that fact was starting to set in and honestly, was depressing. We thought maybe we’d get a night cap but then stumbled upon a corner wine and spirits shop we went in and decided bubbles would be the best way to celebrate another phenomenal evening. I loved the character and personality of the shop.
We grabbed an Uber and made our way back north to our hotel. We stopped at the counter and asked for a cookie on our last evening the staff gave us TWO each. We headed upstairs got comfortable and talked and talked until after 2am. At that point I knew I wasn’t going to make it back to Macy’s or to the jewelry shops in the morning and thought about plan “B” (5 miles walked).
one last glimpse of my fav building
I woke close to 10am and before I forgot, I sent KK, who was house sitting for me and picking me up from the airport, my list of items I’d need to change in the car on the way to the convention center for La Noche Encantada. I reached out to my event partner in crime, Lee, and double checked she had everything needed to get our booth set. I jumped into the shower and tried how I was going to pack my already full carry-on suitcase and carry-on tote with the additional two dresses, bag filled with goodies and boxed treats from Louis Vuitton…time to sit on my suitcase. I made it work and had one additional carry-on tote. Luckily, Sofi was checking both her bags so I asked if she wouldn’t mind carrying on my tote. She graciously obliged. We arrived at the airport with our first stop in Dallas, TX. Luckily, we didn’t have to switch planes and could move up to easy accessible seats off the plane.
We arrived 10 minutes earlier than our scheduled time. KK was there to pick me up with and I changed in the car. I arrived at the venue 10 minutes before the opened the doors for dinner. As I was walking through the event talking with people, I was inspired to see the fashion. Especially those that I personally dressed. I loved hearing the comments from friends who had been following my adventures via Instagram and Facebook and their surprise to see me. We had a lovely evening going from dinner to the entertainment to the dance party after and boy, did we dance. After tearing down the step and repeat and pulling together all our goodies, Lee gave me a ride home. I fell into a deep sleep when my head hit the pillow. It was after 3am EST (20,000 dance steps).
Every day I try to spend time journaling what I am grateful for. On this trip, I am grateful for:
$5.20 cost for a round trip ticket
an empty row on the red-eye
early check-in
beautiful weather in NYC in February
spending time with friends–long-time and new ones
walk-able cities
taking a chance for new opportunities (and remembering to not play small)
being reminded that I am in the right place
food that nourishes the soul
dance floors
Today, as I complete this post, invitations are still coming in for shows this week…next year, I will stay for the entire week (I say that every year). I love that I’ve shown so many loved ones my New York. I’m totally down for anyone else that wants to go…just know I’m kind of non-stop, except for shopping and a cocktail. I like to walk and plans are totally fluid. Thanks for following along on another Ms. Adventure and remember life is a gift…enjoy it to the fullest!
“Here’s to the ones that we got Cheers to the wish you were here, but you’re not ‘Cause the drinks bring back all the memories Of everything we’ve been through”
Memories – Maroon 5
It is the last day of 2019, the last year of the aughts. Tonight many will celebrate, others will head to bed early, and some will simply be glad to be alive. I remember feeling the later going into the year. If I recall correctly, I watched the NYC countdown and slept on the couch since my furbabies didn’t like the loud noises that come with the celebrations. I was so ready to move on to 2019 and through my post, Thank You, Next, I wrote about my life learnings in 2018 and gratitude for those that helped me survive the year.
As hard as it is to believe, I was a little uninspired. It happens. I knew I needed to make some changes. So as I thought of the new year, I chose to focus on…
NYC–If I wanted to be in New York, I needed to purposefully work toward it.
My passion–I needed to be courageous in what sets my heart on fire.
My happiness–I wanted to smile more.
I immediately did a few things. I reached out to friends and asked them through the month of January, when something stopped them in their tracks with inspiration, to send a photo of it to me. I was in desperate need of an inspiration infusion and I wasn’t feeling it on my own. To move closer to NYC, I changed my number to a 917 area code. I needed to focus on me: reading, yoga, and I thought I’d give Keto a whirl. I had a bad case of wanderlust. Travel feeds my sanity and I made a vow to travel as often as I could make it happen.
I started with the reading and the gift card given to me my dear friend, Lori. I started with purchasing, another journal/calendar, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, Daring Greatly by Brene Brown, Outliers by Malcom Gladwell, and On the Shortness of Life by Senecca. These were the perfect kickstarters to living the life I wanted to live this in 2019. I ate up each word…so much so that I went on to purchase, Braving the Wilderness, by Brene Brown, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, and to feed my NYC fix, Fashion Climbing by Bill Cunningham and Fifth Avenue, 5 A.M. by Sam Wasson. I was also given the book, Hug Your Customers by Jack Mitchell by one of my Macy’s clients, whom I’ve built a relationship after helping put together her son’s groomsmen’s outfits for the wedding.
Friends and family hated eating with me because I took Keto to heart. Each and every day, I started with yoga (Yoga with Adrienne is FABULOUS), slowly incorporating Madfit and then running, yes, running (I know hard to believe because I hate it so).
A friend offered a travel voucher that was to expire in May and another offered a couch anytime I visited NYC (he didn’t know what he was offering to woman that would find any excuse to visit her soul town). Around that same time, I was asked to show in LA Fashion Week and invited by the Tory Burch Foundation to attend a women’s entrepreneurial event in NYC. As anxious as I was, I made them both work within 24 hours of each other. At the time I was being recruited by Macy’s for my current role. I tell people it is everything I loved about the boutique and my work in community relations but with the corporate support and throughout the interview process, I asked, “Is there a path to NYC with this role” and time-and-time again was assured there is.
As with every year, I have learned many lessons and grown. This year was no different. Here are my key learnings.
“You think you’re all bad or what?”
When we choose to do something outside of the social norms, this is the common response, or maybe it is if you grow up in the north valley/Alameda or are a woman pursuing her dream. There was a post my dear friend, Kristen, shared. It said something to the affect, and I’m paraphrasing, we celebrate when women are engaged or have a baby but what about celebrating their achievements or accomplishments?
One night in April, I had this conversation. Growing up where I did, pursuing something outside of the norm of getting married, settling for a mainstream M-F role, and having kids, you were chastised. People in and many in my family didn’t understand wanting more. Many times I felt like an outsider because of it. Believe me when I say this, “I don’t believe I am above anyone else. I believe we all deserve to self-actualize. I will help you in anyway I can to help you reach your dreams, but I can’t be around people that make fun or trivialize what I want to do.”
What I FINALLY learned is not to play small. I was recruited by an executive recruiter with Macy’s. I asked for what I was worth for the first time in my 20+ year career. I didn’t undersell myself. It wasn’t because of pride but because of the value and the hard work I would bring to the organization…the passion I bring to my work.
Play is so important to growth
in December 2018, the mermaid resurfaced. As I wrote, It’s the Year of the Mermaid, I was transported back to when I first got this tattoo and how the philosophy of independence, having a voice and having fun/being youthful and how important that is all to me. I think this is more important to me year after year. I think that is why I decided that I needed to get my next tattoo, “La Vita e un Dono” in NYC and serendipitously found the perfect studio along a path I had crossed before when I visited in December, as I wrote about my trip in Escape Mechanisms.
May your faith be stronger than your fear
I was invited to do LAFW in February. That was an easy, “yes”. Fees were waived. I had a voucher for airfare. I had one of my BFF’s offer her place to stay and she and her husband (but most importantly her pup) were okay with me coming in the wee hours of the night. I had my beautiful friends and models say yes to coming out and easily found other beautiful women say they would walk for me. I had a shoe designer offer to provide shoes for the show and a jewelry company provide accessories. London Fashion Week was different. I’d have to get a passport. I’d be traveling to a foreign country on my own. I’d have to pay thousands of dollars to help produce the show. I’d have to find models with no budget. Yet, “when you really want something the universe conspires to help you get it” (paraphrased from the Alchemist, by Paulo Coleho…read it again this year). I had friends and family come out in full force to help. I found it cheaper to fly into NYC then into London. I had that offer with couch during my stay. I owe so many for their support and still I was anxious. I decided after a night of wine and booking a flight that I would continue onto Paris, just for a day. I did so much pleading to the only person I knew could converse in French for me to join me, but he wasn’t available so I decided to suck it up and figure it out. I took my mini retablos of the Virgin Mary and St. Jude (my patron saint–the patron saint of hopeless causes) I travel. And on the night in NYC before I was taking my international flight, I woke up freezing. It wasn’t because the air conditioner was on or that I was catching a cold. I believe I was breaking my fear.
I thrived. I found beautiful models whom were from England, another who jumped of a plane and took an uber from the airport to the venue, from the US, Russia and Spain. I explored and found “my sunshine” two doors down and was reminded that I was in the right place. I arrived in Paris and fell in ABSOLUTE LOVE with the the city and found happiness discovering life on my own. You can read about my Ms. Adventures on this trip in Crazy Beautiful Life.
Profound Grief will ALWAYS be adjacent
I lost my mom, June 22, 1996. I was in NYC and at the Mermaid Parade June 22, 2019 and as much fun as it was, I was still reeling because I didn’t get up early enough to go and pray at mass and as much fun as I was having she never left my thoughts. On the night of the anniversary before Jennifer died, I was writing about her and the past 365 Days, and reaching out to friends all over the country and asking where was the most beautiful place they traveled to and why….AND WHY because I wanted to be reminded that in my immense grief, that I knew I would succumb to in the next day that there was still beauty in this world. And on her birthday, I received a text message from her daughter asking to create a dress for her for an upcoming special event. Talk about making me smile with tears streaming down my face. YOU CAN NOT FEEL LOSS IF YOU HAVEN’T FELT LOVE. I’m sorry that’s just the way it is. And, whether it is one year or 23 years, it will always be adjacent to your happiness as if a little bit of something is missing.
You are the KEY to your own happiness
While I hope you find there are so many people in your life that add to your happiness. Your happiness is dependent upon you ALONE…no one should have that power over you.
As I discovered through, Sichuan Soup (if you really want to read this one, you’ll need to ask for the password and I’ll share it, it’s just not public), happiness is yours and yours alone. Smile often. I love when I’m walking through Macy’s and someone tells me they love my smile (however, I get a little weirded out when someone tells me, “You’re gorgeous”…and I realize I’m wearing my name tag).
Remember you make your own happiness. No one can do that for you and it’s not fair for you to put that on them, Ricky Bobby!!
Have the courage to be imperfect
“Anything you lost by being honest, you never really had”, that was a HARD lesson for me this year. I had lost my share of fans. I lost a marriage of 20 years but I was shocked to my core when I lost a friendship of 30+ years by being vulnerable and honest in questioning a few things that didn’t feel right. While a good lesson, it was UBER painful. A big growth period for me was learning to ask questions when something wasn’t right instead of assuming I was thinking too much about something. And what I think I learned most about this lesson was to listen to what the other person was saying and try to understand or empathize in their struggle. I wrote about vulnerability and courage and what real friendship means in the Policy of Truth. What one of my favorite Social Researchers, Storytellers, Writers–Brene Brown highlighted for me was the fact that there is some major courage found in being vulnerable because you are going into a situation where there aren’t any guarantees about the outcome.
Take the photo whether or not you smile like Chandler
I have always been one to shy away from photos. When I was at Cardinal Health, I would always use the excuse that I was the one behind the camera. When I was at Runway Apparel it was encouraged that I needed be in front of the camera. I’m not going to lie. The camera doesn’t love me. I have major Chandler smile…it takes several photos, cropping and sometimes filters for me to get the right photo. When Jennifer died, I realized the last photo I had of the two of us together was 3 years old and it hit me. I want photos of and with people I love. I know take tons of photos. I may not post them, but I have them near and dear to me. Here are some of my favorites from the past year:
And because I can’t do anything without music, here is my photo slide show. Thank you for being a part of my life in 2019:
So what I gained in 2019:
to love with my whole heart EVEN when there is no guarantee
that I have added London Fashion Week and Elle UK and NO cigarettes in my hair from Paris to my portfolio (and working on SS21 Paris Fashion Week)
to take every opportunity presented to you, but don’t undersell yourself, “yes, you are all bad y todo”
that life is a gift and that was engraved in NYC this year
What I lost:
30 lbs even after the holidays (yay Keto)
something that wasn’t mine afterall
Fear (FINALLY….I don’t know what took me so long but it did)
I spent NYE with friends at a fabulous event hosted by the Hyatt and designed my friend, George. At one of the speakeasys, I sat for a Tarot Card reading. I pulled three cards:
The Donkey for my past The Journey for my present The Passion for my future
I was told the donkey symbolized some mistakes I made in my past (totally resonated as I am stubborn and sometimes jumping into things without fully thinking through). The journey is the path I am currently on and as long as I don’t get fixated on the unimportant things or people/situations that I have no control over (which I know I do and end up getting me off course), I will definitely my true passion. It gave me chills as it was all things I already knew in my heart but when someone tells you bluntly to your face, you tend to listen a little more intently. I am not going into 2020 with PERFECT VISION. I know I will have a lot to learn but instead, I will be roaring into the year and enjoying it 1 day at a time for each of 365 days. I am also carrying J’adore with me this year. Love for myself, those I come in contact with, and in what I do.
With light and much LOVE,
Dara Sophia Romero (I guess I better learn French)
I was introduced to NYC for the first time in December 2005. I was hooked. I tease that I’m a junkie and New York is my crack…it’s really not a joke. I am currently working my butt off because part of the deal with my current position is a path to the Empire State, Gotham, the Big Apple…my soul.
The city during the holiday season is simply, magical. The population swells so if you get claustrophobic or have issues with personal space and waiting, I’d say just read my blog vs visiting, but if you really want to see how different cultures share their holiday spirit, then book your trip (and if you need a tour guide, I’m always in).
In 2005, I planned the trip, staying at the quintessential Waldorf Astoria. The plans included a Knicks game, the Lion King, the Rockettes, a trip to the Statue of Liberty, and dinner at Tavern on the Green. While the trip also included baggage being lost by the airline, our room given away and getting lost a few times, it was still an absolutely dream worthy trip. So many times I was stopped by people looking for directions, and in that moment I knew I was part of that city.
From that date forward, I continued to visit NYC…for business…for fashion week…for my fix. It was December 2016, after my divorce that I decided I needed to go back for holiday wonder. I had a friend who worked for Jet Blue at the time and would offer her discount to me when ever I wanted to go. I had it planned out. I’d take the red-eye one night, arrive around 5:30am, hit all my inspirational spots and fly out that evening at 8pm. I was hesitant to book the trip until a few days before because it seemed the weather wasn’t going to be cooperative. When I realized I needed to just go and deal with the weather, she had left her job and I only went that year in my dreams, but I wrote all about it like I was there.
I decided I would never again wait for the right opportunity to go to NYC. I would go at every opportunity presented to me. So in 2017, I took my babes for the first time during the holidays. I had originally planned to make it a longer trip but due to work travel it was a long weekend. Yet it was incredible to see it for the first time through Isaiah’s eyes. He was hesitant to go, thinking it would be overwhelming (and it totally is) but he loved the energy just as I do. He got to see his first musical, Aladdin, and at the time musical theater was such an important time of his life. We hit the museums, the window displays and all the fabulous food. Because the timing of our visit, we stumbled upon a Hanukkah RV parade…yes, exactly that…cruising down the Avenue of the Americas. They were in as much awe as I was the first time the city shared it’s holiday glory with me.
In 2018, after what was a shit year, I had enough points that my flight and hotel was covered and I decided, “what the hell I am going to go for a day and a half”. Viewing my feed in Instagram, I realized a dear friend was in the city with her daughter and I reached out with the hopes that maybe we could grab a drink and catch up. As fate would have it, we met for drinks and dinner and had the loveliest conversation catching up after several years apart. Don’t you love when you feel so comfortable with someone that you jump back into a friendship like not one day has passed, thank you Maria.
In October this year, I started thinking, “could I make a trip work in the height of the retail season.” I stopped that thought as quickly as I put it out there knowing this is my city and even if I flew in one day and out the next it would be what I would need. There were several things I wanted to do…a mountain list, but doable if I planned it right. So, I booked my red-eye flight on Saturday, December 14 which mean I would arrive at approximately 6am on Sunday, December 16 to 6pm when I probably should be back at the airport. So I would have 36 hours minus sleep for this trip. I found my inexpensive flight and a room to match. I know how to travel on next to nothing.
The days and weeks and months blended together because that’s what happens this time of year in retail. I hadn’t given much thought to my trip until the weekend before when one of my BFFs asked what I was going to do. I responded with my list.
It was a tall order, but definitely worth doing. I packed the morning of my trip, went to work (I was already over 40 hours for the week), worked another 8 hours and did a volunteer shift at Albuquerque Little Theater for It’s a Wonderful Life. This really got me in the mood for my trip…Herald Square, Christmas, magical New York City, oh and those NYC accents, boy oh boy I was ready. It was fun volunteering side-by-side with Laura, Debi and Lee and I love this story. It’s all about believing…“Faith is believing something when common sense tells you not to.” It’s about NYC and about Macy’s. I was smiling throughout and enjoyed it fully. I was so grateful to Lee who offered to drop me off at the airport afterward. When we were exiting the show, I received an alert that the flight was delayed and my departure time had moved out from 11:40pm to 1:21am. I knew it was going to be a long night.
When I got to the airport, there was no one going through the TSA line with me. One of the agents asked when my flight was departing, I had mentioned the time and he said, “Really, a couple before you said it had been moved out to 3:30am.” I kind of wanted to cry. When I got to the gate, I found out how true that statement was. Exhaustion hit me so I sat at a table where I could charge my phone, pulled out my neck pillow and made a make shift sitting bed. I maybe got an hour of sleep. We started boarding the plan about 2:30am. As luck would have it, or my guardian angel, I ended up not having anyone sit in my row, so I moved to the center, strapped on my seat belt, and made that row my bed. I think I slept three of the 3 and a half hours. We arrived about 9:15am. I had planned to take a super shuttle to my hotel since it was the more inexpensive option that Lyft or Uber, but just the day before, I had read on LinkedIn that they were closing up shop and when I looked at the app to try and book, that one-way trip was going to cost $134 vs. the $20 I had been accustomed to, so I booked a Lyft and waited outside the terminal doors for its arrival. It was cool and breezy.
As we made our way into the city, the trek didn’t seem as long as it had in the past and I made it to the hotel within 30 minutes. My friend, Amanda, whom I had hoped to have dinner with in NJ on Sunday night, had sent me a text the night before stating she was actually going to be in Manhattan until about 1pm with a group of friends. This was perfect! I could see her and her husband, Andy, and not have to take a train (nor see the ginormous rats in the station) to NJ…time saved. As I reached my hotel, I was saying a few Our Father’s and one or two Hail, Mary’s. I really wanted to get into my hotel room and shower before hitting the pavement to see her.
Still praying under my breath, I walked up to the reservation counter. It wasn’t too busy, I had arrived before check out, just a little past 10am. I walked up and a woman by the name of Arlene welcomed and asked how she could help me. I explained to her about my predicament and asked if there might be a room available for me to check into (I had actually called the day before and whomever I spoke to couldn’t guarantee early check-in because the hotel was full). Arlene did some investigating and found me a room. It wasn’t my requested room with a king bed but honestly I didn’t care. After, she explained the amenities, an easier way to access free wi-fi and making sure my points were properly captured for this stay, she pointed out the elevator and my room info. I thanked her profusely for her excellent service and made my way upstairs. I got to my room. Opened my suitcase, which I over packed (I think I actually packed less for LFW than I did for this 1.5 days. lol). Pulled out my outfit and jumped into the shower. I knew if I sat down I would crash, plus Amanda and Andy were only in the city until 1pm.
Arriving late into NYC, cut three hours out of my stay. Jet Blue compensated me with a $75 credit which I know I’ll be back in February…but still, I would have 3 less hours to do what I needed to. Anywho, I stepped out into the sunny but cold NYC day around 11am. I was staying at Park and 33rd and I was meeting Amanda at Columbus Circle, so walking up 5th Ave would get me into the heart of all the warm and fuzzies found in the holiday windows.
As I walked past 34th, I turned to my left and caught America’s department store…I had planed to stop by after my time with Amanda. I walked past the Lions donned with wreaths at the NYC Public Library.
I walked up to Saks the north side were fabulously fashionable. I took a few shots but because the sun was in full force the images weren’t as clear as I had hoped. As I reached the front of the store, I wanted to throw up a little bit in my mouth….really, Frozen was theme this year (not. my. favorite.)?!? I didn’t take pictures. I was annoyed. I walked on. I got to St Patrick’s Cathedral and it was Sunday during advent and the lines were vast so I carried on. I saw a few more windows on store fronts before reaching Tiffany and again I was disappointed. There wasn’t anything incredibly imaginative only a few mice playing with jewels. I crossed the street because I knew Bergdorfs wouldn’t disappoint.
And I was right, it was all fun and games and I LOVED it. It was luxurious, colorful and breathtaking. Again, because I couldn’t take proper photos because the reflection, but I was happy for the sunshine and not having bitter cold. I walked by the Plaza Hotel and the line that was waiting to enter and crossed 59th to walk along Central Park. I hadn’t run since just after Thanksgiving and I kind of craving it (but don’t tell anyone). I walked along the road listening to my Somewhere Around Midnight playlist on Spotify through the earbuds in my ears when Whiskey by Red Light Cameras came on. I strutted down the cobble stoned lane. In my look that was a mixture of Christmas, Gwen Stefani and Punk with my red plaid and faux leather pants with gold chain running from my pocket, combat boots, puffed sleeve black sweater, vintage black faux fur coat and over sized vibrant red scarf, I was part of my city. When I walk the streets of NYC, I strut like I own the city. The city energy feeds me and I play off it to my advantage but because I was walking on the cobble stone walkway, I also paid attention because I knew I would also trip like the big uncoordinated Ms Congeniality that I am.
I arrived at Columbus Circle and sent a text to Amanda to let her know. The holiday fair was great but I wanted to find her first. She mentioned that they had moved to the Market in the train station but when I descend, all I saw were trains so I ascended to the street and called her. She said to cross the street and enter the train station entrance near the Shops of Columbus Circle. I was having deja vu as I hadn’t been there since June 22nd after a wonderful day at the Mermaid Parade and surreal evening in this neighborhood. I descended the staircase and there she was right around the corner. I smiled and walked up. I don’t think she recognized me immediately as I was wearing my glasses. We embraced and walked back to the bar where they were having cocktail. I gave Andy and big hug and was introduced to the rest of their friends. It was a quaint bar where Christmas had exploded all over the ceiling and walls (hot glued Christmas balls–it was magical). We took seats at the bar and started to catch up immediately. She wanted to hear about my new job. I wanted to hear about her daughter’s wedding. I had maybe 4 hours the night before, had just walked 2 miles and had worked an approximate 50 hour week…I was wondering if I should order a coffee or a cocktail at 11:30am and then I remembered I’m in FUCKING New York City. I ordered a New York je t’aime. Seemed appropriate…although, I thought the Jameson, Elderflower, Orange Blossom might knock me out.. We talked about life and everything in between. We talked about my travels. She mentioned how courageous I am. I smiled. We ordered another round and about an hour later we decided they needed to head back to Port Authority. I asked if I could walk with them as I was headed to Hudson Yards next.
We walked, talked, and laughed. It was so good to see them again. We did our tourist thing in Times Square and I think I convinced them to visit NM in May (fingers-crossed). We took our touristy photo and walked on to Port Authority. I gave them hugs and told them I’d reach out in the coldest month and probably the coldest day for dinner in NJ. I THOROUGHLY enjoy my time with them.
I walked on to Hudson Yards, since it’s opening last Spring, I had read all about this luxurious urban work, live, play neighborhood and I had it on my list to check out. I first headed out to the vessel (because I hadn’t gotten enough steps in yet and thought I should walk 5 stories). However the line was way too long and what, you have to pay for entrance, I was totally turned off by this but still got a cool photo. I walked into the Hudson Yards “mall” and it was basically, a mall with high-end stores. I left as quickly as I could find my way out. Instead, I decided to head east to “my” department store. I arrived with the masses and walked in with awe as I normally do.
Macy’s saved me during my Christmas trip in 2005, when American Airlines had lost my baggage and not wanting to miss the Knick’s game we stopped by for pj’s and unmentionables (ok, undies) just before midnight. Macy’s DTLA provided the electricity, table and chair for me to sew my impromptu look for Los Angeles Fashion Week in October 2016 and Herald Square inspired me (along with a call urging me to take the Personal Stylist position earlier this year, in April). I walked in to the grandeur of Herald Square with Dream and Believe in my forefront. If you’ve never been, it’s a little overwhelming and exciting at once. I didn’t know where to start, but then realized how much I love the Benefit Brow Bar so in shooting my shot, I walked over and asked if they were taking any walk up appointments. They were and in that moment I knew it was meant to be.
https://youtu.be/-TZGtPNJkbg
With my brows on point, I walked up to the Story level. What I love about this concept is that it is made up of products and businesses that have a story (I keep tormenting local businesses and artists to submit their ideas…one day, I hope they take me up on it because it really is a cool concept). I really didn’t have time, need or room in my suitcase for much more than I bought, I decided to head back to my hotel which was a few blocks away. I still had planned to get my tattoo and grab drink at a quintessential speak easy and it was already 5:00pm…but first I wanted to see the windows. I loved this year’s theme: “Santa Girl”. It reminded me of my own journey…they will say, “no” and you will say, “YES”. We can all be what we determine we want to be, even when the world says, “no”. Think of Greta Thunberg, who has been mocked for her convictions in saving the planet. The only thing I was disappointed about was the fact that there was no Salvation Army outside the Herald Square entrance…no dancing, no singing, no bell ringing this year.
My stomach started to rumble so I remembered that there was one of my fav places a block up…I stopped by Shake Shack because that’s where I nosh when in town. I got the bun-less bacon burger with cheese and bacon and cheese fries–don’t judge, I had already walked 4.5 miles. I returned to my hotel, nourished my body and changed. I was missing a party hosted by my friend, Shannon. However, I told her I’d dress in the theme of blue, white and silver…so I opted for a little Hopeless + Cause Atelier. I wore flowy, loose clothing because I knew I’d be exposed for my next destination. I called for a Lyft and headed down stairs.
I got my first tattoo when I turned 20 and wanted to get my 2nd when I turned 40. Years past and other things came up, but this year I was determined to get it and get it in NYC. After months of searching for the right place and price point, I found the one. As I arrived in my Lyft at Three Kings Tattoo, it was more than Deja Vu. I had been there before. Not in the tattoo shop, but I had walked through the park on a warm Sunday night in June talking about the Netflix original, Russian Doll, and how the show was set in the East Village and that park had be used several times in the show. I learned the history. We had a drink in the bar on the corner, Maiden Lane, where I was told I was the “sweetest person” over and over. And here I was next door to get a sweet and dainty, “la vita é un dono” tattoo with a bow. I had stayed a few nights only a few blocks away this past year and yet, I came to find this tattoo parlor, not by that resident but by a colleague who had posted the wicked tattoo he had gotten a month or so back. That Instagram post prompted me to research the business and the artists. I had found that the rates were much more reasonable than the others I had found in the area and Brooklyn. They were super responsive to all my questions and I could stop by for a walk up appointment which was super important to me since my plans were fluid this trip.
I arrived just after 6:30pm and was told that I’d be on the table about 7:30pm. I was told that I could come back at that time, but not from the area and dark, I opted to sit my booty on the couch and wait. Exhaustion started to set in and I started to nod my head in an attempt to sleep. My second tattoo reminded me of child birth, it sounds great until it actually happens and you remember all the pain that occurs with the act. I sat patiently 2nd in line until my tattoo artist, Ana, asked me what I’d like. I showed her my sketch told her where I wanted it and what the saying meant. She took it back, sketched it out and came back for approval. After a few edits, we were set.
I actually didn’t climb the tattoo table until 8:30pm. I took off my top, laid on my side, raised my arm over my head and stretched my leg out to create a smooth canvas for her to create. She went to work. I cringed and at moments jumped when a nerve was hit. My nails dug into the table and I know I ground my teeth and in about 45 minutes it was complete. My tense muscles prevented me from jumping up, instead slowly ascending to a seated position then descending from the table I dressed and admired my new decoration and reminder about life and living. Full of adrenaline, I opted not to go to the speakeasy as it was now 9:45pm instead I grabbed a Lyft back to the hotel. I went upstairs and decided I needed to see the Bryant Park tree and Rockefeller Square in the glory of night, so I started west on 33rd as I turned on 5th the wind hit me and I knew I was not up for the cold. I headed back toward my hotel and as I turned the corner on 34th, I was greeted by, “FUCK, it’s cold.”, by a stranger. At first startled, I then laughed. As he apologized, I agreed with him and went on my way to a Duane Reade to get snacks and a bottle of wine. They didn’t sell wine and I wasn’t interested in spending $10 on a small bag of nuts, so I headed to the hotel bar for a drink. After I warmed up, I went up to my hotel room, undressed and watched, “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”. I had already planned to watch episode 9 with the fam upon my return, so I thought it would be a nice build up to fall asleep to. And fall asleep, I did.
I woke the next morning around 8am. It’s cray how well I sleep in NYC. However, I woke with a scratch in my throat, so I opted for hot, steamy shower and then after I dressed, I headed back to the Duane Reade for vitamin A and EmergenC. I also bought a gift card for Arlene, who really kickstarted this trip. I ran across the street to Starbucks for a medicine ball…I was trying to stave off a cold any way possible. After I dropped off my bags and the gift card, and explained to Arlene how grateful I was to her for her customer service, I headed north to St. Patrick’s Cathedral. This holy space is my constant when I visit. There has been only two times that I haven’t made the trek when I’ve visited. At that time, I also received a notification about a reservation opening up for the Blue Box Cafe at Tiffany’s. I had been trying to get in for the past month and every time I received the notification, I was too late and the reservation had been given to another patron. I was so happy I was going to be able to enjoy this treat because as I found out the restaurant was going to be going through a remodel for the next year as well as the entire Tiffany and Co on 5th Ave (I had been reading, Fifth Avenue, 5 A.M., by Sam Wasson and was really intrigued to fulfill this wish). About 20 minutes later, I arrived for mass and sat back and enjoyed my participation in it. The music, the word, the beauty before me. I arrived when confession was in session and I pondered the thought of it, but time was of the essence.
After mass, I headed across the street for the tree at Rockefeller Center. It was crowded and filled with joy, wonder, and selfies. I took my photo and then did a little shopping. I headed to the garment district next.
On 11/11 I received a text from a beautiful young women, whose momma’s birthday was on this day. She asked me to create a dress for her that she could wear to a wedding and to her eighth grade graduation in 2020. I was honored and floored. I had created for her momma and had told her when she was ready, I would create for her. She was ready. After taking, photos and samples, I headed to my favorite tree in Bryant Park.
It was lightly snowing and it was absolutely magical…everything I needed to fulfill my holiday fantasy. After walking the holiday fair, which I absolutely LOVE, I took my annual photo of the tree and then headed over to Grand Central Station because I wanted to get Truffle oil and honey from The Truffleist. I fell in love with their products in 2017 and decided I wanted to make honey-truffle chicken for dinner on Christmas Eve. As I perused the market at Grand Central Station, I found The Truffleist was no longer offered there so I jumped on the internet to find out were I could purchase their goods and back to Bryant Park I went.
I purchased my goods and it was already 2:30pm and my reservation was for 3pm so I headed north to Tiffany’s. Arriving at 2:45pm, I checked in and was told my table was almost ready, so I looked around the floor until it was 3pm. At that time, I was directed to my quintessential Tiffany Blue table. It was such a treat and I have to thank my friend Sofi for suggesting it. I had the choice of the pre-fix menu for breakfast, lunch or high tea. I opted for lunch with pumpkin soup and poached salmon…all drool-worthy. I paired it with the Tiffany team. About an hour later, I left perfectly sated and sad to head back to the hotel for my ride back to the airport.
The entire afternoon, I kept getting the “once over”. I wore a cream colored over-sized sweater with distressed jeans and over the knee sandy suede boots and my faux fur coat and red scarf…but the one thing that didn’t fit the outfit was the Nintendo Store bag with Mario on it. As I was walking back, I was stopped at the light on Park and somewhere near 33rd and a man turned to me asking, “Did you wake up on the right side of the bed?”. I responded, saying, “Excuse, me?”. He said, “Your whole look is incredible. I hope you’ve had a great day because you look like you woke up on the right side of the bed.” Because I’m oblivious to compliments like this, it took me a minute to respond and as I said thank you, he walked down the road. It was such a sweet way to leave the city.
Within the next half hour I was on a Lyft back to JFK, once again feeling so full of joy, wonder, and gratefulness to be back in the place I love so very much. I had approximately 45 minutes until my flight would board so I opted to grab a glass of bubbles to cheer this trip. As I sat down and my glass was presented to me, I was reminded of something. She is always around even when I’m not looking (do you see her–2019 is the year of the mermaid). I smiled and raised my glass to la vita é in dono. The only Debbie Downer moment is that I think I caught a cold from the guy behind me who kept exclaiming, “I’m not sick. I only have a cough” (as he kept hacking up a lung, sneezing and sniffling). UGH…still worth it. When I landed, I looked at my phone to see it was 11:11pm and I smiled.
As I complete this blog on my momma’s birthday, I am reminded the importance to live your life. Find joy. Enjoy wonder. Find happiness. Sometimes you have to escape to be reminded of this. Life is short. You only die once; you live every day. Enjoy life to the fullest–la vita e un dono. Wishing you a Happy Chanukah and Merry Christmas.
Vulnerability by Brene Brown popped up two days after I shared my blog and it speaks to me whole-heartedly. What resonated most is being courageous and the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees.
Chances are when said and done Who’ll be the lucky ones who make it all the way? Though you say I could be your answer Nothing lasts forever no matter how it feels today
Chances, Five for Fighting
On this eve of Thanksgiving, I’ve spent the evening contemplating the past year and what I’m grateful for. There are so many things…the people who have been woven in my life, the opportunities bestowed upon me, the new places I’ve been and the goals I’ve accomplished and all that is in front of me for the coming year if I have the courage to go after it. I’ve watched The Blindside as I have done ritually for years…and UGLY CRYING…because there is nothing more beautiful than the unconditional love of a mother. As I’ve stated before, my astrological sign is Cancer, a water sign…I openly wear my heart on my sleeve and sometimes to my detriment. For me, it is important to give my all in relationships. I then moved on to watching all the Friends Thanksgiving episodes because they play out my comical life as holistically as it is. It is snowing in Central New Mexico and I’ve decided to update this blog while listening to Five for Fighting and really listening to the words and how they relate. I am thankful for everything that has occurred to me in the past year. And again I am reminded of the relationships that were filled with love, lessons and/or laughter. I think the greatest gift that I am grateful this year is the power of communication. While unfortunately, openly and honestly communicating with loved ones doesn’t seem to always fall in line with the way you’d hope it would. However, I truly believe if you are honest with how you feel, you should not feel bad for saying what needs to be said.
Sometimes the greatest way to say something is to say nothing. But I can’t…
Say Something – Justin Timberlake feat. Chris Stapleton
“I’ve learned more about you from this last communique than in the past few decades that I’ve known you and especially more than the last year where I thought we really connected…more than the late night and early morning conversations about fears, love, goals and loss, more than the dinner conversations filled with laughter and admiration, and more than the walks through life that included conversations of randomness, yet were filled with meaning and insight.
I’m more than a bird, I’m more than a plane I’m more than some pretty face beside a train And it’s not easy to be me I wish that I could cry Fall upon my knees Find a way to lie About a home I’ll never see
Superman – Five for Fighting
And in saying this, I take back what I said. I don’t ‘wish you the best that life has to offer’. I actually wish you get to experience life to the fullest. I hope you get to experience it all, including, the heart break that comes from being completely vulnerable and honest with someone you care about. And in response, I hope you receive no empathy, no understanding and no common ground to work from, but instead are told the memories and experiences you created together aren’t worthy of being remembered or sacred.
I don’t say this to be cruel. I say this because I hope that experience carves you into a softer person, a human being, because words once said, can’t be taken back. So in wishing this, I hope in the future you understand the impact of what you say and choose to think through the words you use wisely, so they don’t damage the next person who thought you cared.”
Words like violence Break the silence Come crashing in Into my little world Painful to me Pierce right through me Can’t you understand
Enjoy the Silence – Depeche Mode
Words: they can be used to elevate someone and they can be used as a weapon to tear someone completely apart. They can be used to help move through darkness as these did in this middle of the night stream of consciousness. I have been writing my stream of consciousness, through this blog, for over three years. My free flow narrative has been about my experiences with people, places, what has happened in my world and my understanding, interpretation of the outside world… and how it has influenced my design aesthetic. It is MY explanation of life. I decided to share my words, thoughts, loves, loathes and fears with those around me. I don’t have an English degree. My posts are not always grammatically correct and spelling faux pas dot each blog. At times, I use choice words filled with emotion. I have not been adverse to calling out injustices or sharing really happy and heartbreaking moments. At one point, my attorney suggested that I not be so honest and open about my words (or at least out in the open). But as a child, being suppressed in ways to verbalize what I needed to say, I found writing to be my medium of choice. I have not felt regret for what I’ve said, instead I have grown to live by the rule that the best way to live life is to be honest about how you feel. When I am high on emotion, I write it out, leave it for a day and then go back and re-read it. I ask myself, “Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?” It is always my truth. When I have sought understanding, in many instances, I have found it is necessary.
Things get damaged Things get broken I thought we’d manage But words left unspoken Left us so brittle There was so little left to give
Precious – Depeche Mode
I haven’t been one to not be accused of being emotional. I cry watching videos of military parents returning home and surprising their kids. I choked back tears when I saw my BFF so distraught after learning of the unexpected death of her her friend, even though we had never met. Tears stream down my face with the biggest smile when I outfit women who have lost weight and for the first time are wearing that “little black dress” that I knew would hug their body in all the right places and saw in their eyes how beautiful they felt. Yet, the weeks leading up to this middle of night consciousness, I had felt pensive, melancholy and hollow. There was no deep sadness but instead an emptiness all because I shared my thoughts about the way I felt a relationship had changed. I simply asked the question if something had changed. Instead of receiving the one response I had hoped for–the opportunity to talk about and work out differences–I received two responses from long time friends that I was floored by.
Things could be so different now It used to be so civilised You will always wonder how It could have been if you’d only lied
It’s too late to change events It’s time to face the consequence For delivering the proof In the policy of truth
Policy of Truth – Depeche Mode
The surreal-ness came in the form of not wanting to talk about it but instead choosing to walk away. The other interjecting that this person the reason and creating separation like a business relationship. After all the years of what I thought was a deep friendship and another recently rekindled friendship, it wasn’t what I was expecting, but I respected those choices and wished for the best life has to offer. For a hot second, these responses made me question my value and worth which led to the hollowness of it all. As these responses weighed on me like a ton of bricks, and as I tried to process, I had an epiphany of sorts. I realized that I didn’t wish the best life that life has to offer…I wished the gift of empathy and kindness and love in the purest form of humanity.
As I said, it doesn’t come from a place of cruelty or that I want horrible things to happen, but instead if we put ourselves in the shoes of others before we respond, as these responses came to me, then we might find common ground to build from and not tear down. What I truly found and learned is anything you loose by being honest, you really never had to begin with. While a powerful lesson, it was painful.
I don’t know what the future will bring, whether or not we will be able to reconcile. I do know that it will not prevent me from saying something when I feel things are off. I also know that I choose to relish the wonderful memories and conversations filled with laughter, insight and love and they will be sacred to me. I also hope that my other relationships are strong enough to work through differences and that we aren’t afraid to communicate to find common ground.
Then, I stumbled upon this video segment. I felt compelled to watch it and for the first time, I was sadden by the realization of what is.
“Breathe out so I can breathe you in. Hold you in.”
Everlong – Foo Figthers
The last full day off I had from work was September 30th. And I was like slush, I was non-stop since my trip, coming back to a TV segment, an office grand-opening, appointments meetings and getting Macy’s in front and center at local events, creating an unique H+CA piece for an upcoming hair show and planning a big fashion show.
When was the last time you thought how crazy and wonderful life can be. This evening, I reflected on the past week. Within one week, I got to explore and share my fashion designs in London (while frantically trying to connect with models…and they were perfect); almost missed my flight to NYC; stayed up 30 hours straight laughing, talking and attempting, rather poorly, to sing karaoke and exploring in NYC with a dear friend; almost missed my flight to NM; returned to work to find my gorgeous work space is almost complete (and I had to plan a fun unveiling to celebrate); worked on my next stylist/influencer collaboration; had to be flexible because my tv segment date was brought in by a day yet it worked beautifully, so much so that the regional Vice President gave kudos for the segment using the hashtag #astarisborn; and then tonight I got to have the most lovely gathering with dear friends who are excited for my work and came out to celebrate with me. I know I will crash soon (jet lag and exhaustion will set in) but I am loving this ride soooo much. I believe when you love what you do it shines from your entire being, and when you are surrounded by the right people it’s magnified! Thank you all who have shared your support and love. ?
Oh, poor me, right?!? Nah, I loved all I was doing. I was on a high. However, burning the candle on both ends was getting me to a place I remembered from years before of being in retail. So on the thirtieth, I was a lump. I think I watched a marathon of Gossip Girl, started working on the caged dress and figured out a time that I could take some vacation days.
The next three weeks were even more intense. I was wrapping up the 20 models’ Macy’s looks for the Lovelace Fashion Show, scripting out another TV segment (if you’re interested in seeing the process of a personalized, COMPLIMENTARY, styling appointment with me, watch KASA Fox 2 on Wednesday, October 23rd at 9am during the NM Living Local program), and planning for a trip to Chicago for my gift registry business. I knew I couldn’t take any full days off, so I really started running and doing yoga again to help keep myself in the right frame of mind and my body free from illness and strain (there is a LOT of walking, carrying, lifting and bending in this role). If I could keep those things in check, I knew I would put on my best face for my customers.
It took a lot of organization, balance, EmergenC and a good attitude. And again, I rose to the occasion in doing what I loved while still carving out time for loved ones…which really helped with my attitude. The fashion show ended up being more profound than I originally imaged. I was excited to support this event in honor of friends and loved ones impacted by breast cancer but I found out the Anita Salas Foundation not only provides care and support to breast cancer patients but also cervical cancer (the cancer my mom was originally diagnosed with). I got to style some pretty incredible people, but one was extra special, and I loved seeing her on catwalk. She has the beauty and personality of her momma. ? I left that night full of pride and completely exhausted.
I had planned to take Thursday through Saturday off. However I needed to return all the clothes, shoes and accessories on Thursday and so I scheduled a meeting for the next fun project I’ll be working on. That afternoon when I got home, I knew I was going to stick with taking Friday off, but there was something I had been craving to do since a conversation about chopping wood and being out in the country occurred at dinner in NYC. I had been receiving email after email from Hertz about a free day rental, so I decided I was going to take a day long road trip.
“And now I know you’ve always been Out of your head, out of my head I sang”
Everlong – Foo Fighters
I booked the car. Woke up the next morning, got the keys, plugged in my my phone for my musgic (yes, musgic…that’s what my KK called it when she was learning to speak), got a coffee and hit the road. It was a little blustery on the road but the skies were clear and the landscape beautiful. I left Albuquerque around 9am and planned to stop in Las Vegas at Spic n Span for breakfast and a towering cream puff.
All along the way, I was singing from the top of my lungs and dancing in my seat. I’ve missed road trips. The last one I took was with my mini’s in January when we went to Las Vegas, NV. I arrived around 10:30am and took my seat at the booth. I started with Carne Adovada and eggs. I forget how hard it is to eat New Mexican food on Keto (but knew I’d be hiking later so I forgave myself a bit). If you’ve never been to what’s now known as Charlie’s Spic n Span (old school it’s just Spic n Span), it’s a quintessential New Mexican diner. When I’d travel with my mom, she’d always stop to get the cream puffs. They used to be much smaller but the recipe is still how I remember it. Light and fluffy pastry filled with real whipped heavy cream and dusted with powdered sugar. That delicacy along with the fragrant smell of tortillas coming off fresh from the conveyor belt, reminds me of my childhood and fresh tortillas from my grandma’s kitchen. I relished my meal but left the beans behind. I ordered a cream puff because how could I resist. However, after two bites I was in a sugar coma and couldn’t eat any more, so I packed it up hoping maybe I’d share it later.
I hit the road again and like any small town U.S.A, Las Vegas was dressed for fall and Halloween with so many houses adorned with scare crows and pumpkins. I’ve always loved driving down the main street looking at all the old Victorian and Craftsmen designed homes. As a child, I used to dream of owning one and staying there during the summer time. I then drove by Storrie Lake on the outskirts of Las Vegas. It was unseasonably full, so it made me think that the area received much rain over the summer. For the next 30 minutes I traveled along NM Route 518, listening to my music, enjoying the scenery and staying at or below 60 mph. This area is notorious for state police officers trying to make a point.
I arrived outside our ranch gate after waving at every passerby along the dirt road into the mountains (that’s what you do in Mora). I parked and contorted my body between the barbed wire because I realized I had forgot my gate and the ranch house keys at home. I walked along the dirt road up to the house. I have walked this path hundreds if not thousands of times. As a kid, I would run back and forth from the creek to the house. My brother, cousins and I would race the cars that drove up and ride on the tailgate of trucks driving down this path. The ranch house is almost hidden from this spot and the choke cherry trees line the road. I found clues that that they had been digested by what I’m sure were bears…and I really was hoping I wouldn’t run into any today.
I turned the corner to a familiar jeep and a beautiful, solitary tree whose leaves were as vibrant yellow as the sun. It was stark contrast to the green pines of the background. It swayed every so gently in the wind and would blink at me was the sun struck it’s leaves.
“Come down and waste away with me Down with me Slow how you wanted it to be I’m over my head, out of her head she sang”
Everlong – Foo Fighters
I could have stayed home and totally vegged or did chores or even went to a spa since I still have a birthday gift certificate (sorry, Ang), but being here on this mountain called to me. Talking about chopping wood, how I helped build the bridge and the barn, the sweet earthy smells and sitting in solitude on the side of the mountain looking at the beauty below, I felt that’s what I needed more to get my mind in the right place. I started on the path up to the mountain. I would hike to my rock and then on the way back down, stop at the ojeito to where my mom and grandpo are buried to clean their plots and say a prayer then head back home.
The day was breezy, but mild. The wind through the trees sounded like the ocean waves crashing on the land. The path had been carved out by years of trucks climbing the mountain to that special place or in search of Christmas trees. However it had been lightly covered by pine needles as they shed for the upcoming season. At moments throughout my hike, I would second guess which direction to go, hoping I wouldn’t get lost but instead find what I was looking for.
It was about a half hour hike back and forth between switch backs and steep hills. Before today, I thought I was in pretty decent shape with all the running, yoga and steps in the store I had been doing, but being at an elevation over 7,000 feet and some vertical ascents, I had to pause to take a breath or two (well, maybe more).
The leaves on the oak trees would have fallen perfectly on the autumn color wheel. Lions have been ruminating around in my mind since I saw sculptures and paintings in London, Paris and Chicago. These colors I found perfectly accented that inspiration with the golds, burnt orange, brown and forest green. I am building my vision board for AW20 with these accents. Earlier in the week, I had been approached to show in Paris and Milan Fashion Weeks. So I really had something to ponder!
As I began my last major vertical climb, Unsung by Helmet began to play. It was the motivation I needed to get to the top. I made it and around the corner was my rock and the view to the mountains surrounding me and the beautiful valley below. I sat there pretzel style on the rock and caught my breath just as Fade Into You by Mazzy Star began to play. It was the perfect harmony to how I was feeling in that moment. I took photos of this gorgeous landscape and especially of the sleeping beauty mountain range that looks like a woman sleeping (do you see her?)
I stayed there meditating after taking a few photos and breathing it all in. I began my descent back down. Those pine needles that covered my path now created the right environment to hide loose rocks and serve as banana peels under my feet, so I took it slow. It was the environment reminding me not to rush and to pay attention to everything around me.
I arrived at the ojeito about 20 minutes later. I opened up the gate to the fence that surrounds the burial plots and a tear dropped from my eye. In life it doesn’t matter, if it’s been a year or in the case of my mom, 23 years when someone leaves you, there is a vacancy in your being. There are pieces of me missing with the passing of these loved ones who helped shape the person I’ve become. I cleaned up the leaves and pine needles that covered their headstones said a prayer and asked that they watch over me. I then headed back to the car. All this walking made me thirsty so I grabbed my coffee cup from the car and filled it over and over from the creek water. I still don’t think there is anything as crisp and refreshing than what flows from the snow capped mountains.
I returned to the car and it started to gently rain. It rained when I left London, Chicago and now Mora…hmmm… I’m not sayin’, but just sayin’. I hit the road and decided to return home through the mountains. I took NM 518 through the switch backs, pulling over every so often to play tourist and admire the incredible beauty. I was playing leap frog with a Lexus SUV that was doing the same thing.
I traveled through Tres Ritos and the wind was blowing, ever so lightly, but enough to send the Aspen leaves fluttering about the sky. It was like a thousand Monarch Butterflies were floating through the atmosphere and I thought the NE part of the country has nothing on New Mexico. I drove by Sipapu and a memory came back to me. It was few years ago when Mumford and Sons was playing in Taos. I bought tickets last minute to this sold out concert and ended up renting a room in Sipapu. We arrived there between 1am and 2am and I it was so pitch black (darker than you can imagine…no darker). The key was waiting for me on the side of the building and we entered this little room with no tv and no connectivity. We were in a total dead zone. I thought for sure we were going to be murdered by Michael Myers but instead went to sleep. The next morning we woke up and found what a lovely little ski/summer resort it was (just uber scary at night).
“And I wonder When I sing along with you If everything could ever feel this real forever If anything could ever be this good again The only thing I’ll ever ask of you You got to promise not to stop when I say when
She sang”
Everlong – Foo Fighters
I continued on deciding not to go through Taos but instead taking NM 75 through Penasco. I traveled through these quaint villages trying to make sure I was going the speed limit, but easily got distracted by the beauty surrounding me. I didn’t go through Chimayo this time as I think I took a wrong turn, but instead through Dixon and got stuck in a traffic jam because of paving on the road. I made it through to Espanola. As I passed Espanola, just outside of Pojaque, I noticed police lights going off on the other side of the road. At first I didn’t think they were for me, but I was wrong. I pulled over and the state police officer explained that he clocked me at 67 mph in a 45 mph zone. DOH! I didn’t realize I was going that fast. He asked where I was going and I explained I was returning home. He returned to his truck and what seemed like forever, he came back to my passenger window and said he was giving me a warning. I thanked him and committed to driving the speed limit here on out. Thank the LORD!
I took the relief route in lieu of stopping in Santa Fe. I had plans on Friday evening and didn’t want to be rushed. I can always take the train and escape to Santa Fe. I returned home about 5pm and my mind had been completely refreshed. Sometimes doing absolutely nothing can provide that reprieve, but I needed time to refresh my body with fresh air, beauty of the changing season and of course music and dancing in my seat. As the season begins to change and the craziness I know that is before me, it was nice to reflect on where I come from, where I’m at and where I plan to go…it’s remembering to enjoy the journey.
