Blog – Page 10 – Hopeless + Cause Atelier

The first night after rolling back the clock, I found myself waking in the dark. As I lay there, not wanting to open my eyes because I knew I’d never go back to sleep, I focused on the sound of my ceiling fan hum. That glorious white noise tends to help me sleep heavier, but that night wasn’t enough. And then I heard it, “Who.” “Who.” “Whoooooooooooo.”

I often wonder, “where do I live?” From rabbits in my courtyard, to coyotes howling at the full moon, to the various birds and seasonal foul that make a road stop on the nearby golf course to their winter home, I am so grateful to have such vibrant life in my backyard. Once again, I got to thinking, “Is this owl talking to me?” Then, the hooting continued. I finally fell back asleep, only to awake the next morning to track down why this nocturnal animal called out in my sleep. So, first thing that morning, I googled “owl spiritual meaning”. Instantly, a list appeared, from translations from Hindi to Celtic meanings. I opened the first link to read that the owl is sacred to the Greek goddess of learning, Athena, and is depicted as a symbol of status, knowledge and wisdom. In other cultures, the owl is the protector of the dead, thus often misunderstood as an evil omen. Death is not the end all be all, it also has the meaning of transition.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, I find myself in Washington DC for the next round of the Civic Accelerator. Unfortunately, I didn’t build in a lot of time for playing tourist, so instead I decided my morning exercise routine would be to run around the White House and the National Monument. It’s been a little over a year since the latest administration has been in office and I can only think that the past year has been like traveling down the rabbit hole, so much has happened personally and within the outside world that I can’t help but think this must be some sort of psychedelic trip. Like, is this for real?!? Then I thought back to the, “Who. Who. Whoooooooo”, and I realized it was a question. Who do you think you are? Who are you? As I’m running, I’ve come across the National Christmas Tree and I think about the pitch I developed for this round. I learn in my first day of this week of challenged thinking, that to help us develop that authentic voice that we should design a visual port key (I know you read this and are thinking Harry Potter—and yes, it is in that same vain and yes, that pun was intended—I’m a HP N.E.R.D). It is a huge responsibility that I am grateful for, but it calls for my vulnerability.

Being vulnerable is something that is difficult for me, but it is important for me to be completely authentic as to why I’m involved and why it’s important to invest and help scale the life changing organization I am representing. I really had to dig down deep to some memories that I had buried deep inside, not necessarily wanting to relive them. And yet again the stubborn owl, now in my head, reminded me of the transition, changing energy in one form to another. This transition or “death” is not a physical exclusivity instead it can be a transition in emotion, mind and/or spirit. It has been a cathartic exercise and has been liberating to remove myself from the shame that I didn’t commit, yet has shackled me my entire life.

The weekend before Dia de los Muertos, I received a message from a family friend informing me that her office had received a call to highlight my mom for Humans of New Mexico. This is the same office that houses my mom’s memorial scholarship. I was proud once again to honor her, her life’s work, and her legacy. She is continuously omnipresent in ways I need her guidance most. Just days before my departure for NYFW, the article written about her, her impact on University of New Mexico Students and following your dreams appeared on our family ranch refrigerator. That article had been written over 30 years ago and was found by my aunt as she was cleaning out closets. The request for information from Humans of New Mexico (the link is here if you want to read it) was that reminder of WHO I am and where I come from. We all have a legacy and we should live with the notion that we only die once, but we live every day until that last breath.

Which brings me to today, Wednesday, November 15, 2017, and the accelerator segment in which we were challenged by Smallify to seize opportunities by answering problems faster in creative and improvisational ways. At the end of the segment we were given a gift, one of the values. I reached into the gift bag and drew out a FEAR LESS button. What resonated with me so powerfully was that in 2015, my mantra was FEARLESS. It was superficial. I was scared shitless. I was feeling the strain of piling debt, relationships, not knowing what to do or where to go to, and honestly, felt I had no support in my work and personal life. Today, I fear less probably because I’ve seen rock bottom. There is so much I’ve gained from the experience to help me be stronger and more authentic in what I do today. As the Smallify founder, Dave, left and I thanked him for his time and shared knowledge, he mentioned to me what positive energy I provided to the group and how that makes it easier to create an impactful learning environment when you feel the support in the audience. That comment took me back to a conversation I had in a meeting a few weeks ago with a colleague. I was waiting in the conference room when he walked in. As we shared our greetings, he mentioned, “you are always smiling. Is that something you always do or is it that you are genuinely a happy person?” I laughed and thought about it for a moment and realized, smiling is my favorite (of course I had to throw that in), but honestly, I judge people at first sight (keep that in mind the next time I see you). And maybe, judge is harsh but it’s my reality. How are you projecting your genuine self? I believe happy is a constant choice I make. I choose to look for good in every instance and if I can lighten or provide hope even when it may feel hopeless, I feel that empowers me and those around me.

As I’ve focused on the premise to fear less, I am seizing opportunities to test ideas without fear of failure because if I haven’t succeeded, I’ve learned a valuable lesson. I no longer fear the “no”, either hearing it or saying it. This has driven me to start conversations in retail. Not me taking on the role as the retailer again (I suck at that role) but becoming a supplier to retailers that find worth in my value proposition of Making Impactful Entrances. I am building a shop-able website for my patrons that want to wear Hopeless + Cause Atelier but don’t live in Albuquerque. I am pulling crazy inspiration into design and challenging the status quo. I have found the WHO, Mr. Owl (and it didn’t take me three licks to get to the center of that Tootsie Roll pop) and it is To Give – To.

To Give my voice To those who haven’t yet found their voice.

To Give my knowledge and share my skills To empower others.

To Give my soul work To inspire others to dare greatly in order to fail greatly and succeed greatly.

To Give my smile To remind people how you live is a choice.

To Give my hand and heart To provide hope.

Who are you? What is your To Give To and how are you living it? And I purposely didn’t share the reasoning behind my Christmas Tree port key. If you would like to learn about it, shoot me an email, invite me for a coffee or wine conversation, but know I will challenge you to find your own port key.

Con luz y amor, Dar (To Give) A (To)
(Quien eres esta dentro de ti)

If you noticed that I'm different
Don't take it personally
Don't be mad, it's just the brand new kind of me
And it ain't bad, I found a brand new kind of free

Oh, it took a long long road to get here
It took a brave brave girl to try

If you are reading this, you know my work and passion around the design studio (yes, that’s what Atelier means). However, you may be unfamiliar of my day job; what I do to pay the bills, support my children and invest in my passion project. I provide consulting in Human Resources and Communications for a local non-profit that provides workforce readiness and wraparound support to fathers who were formerly incarcerated (now on parole or probation), so that they can build better futures for themselves and their families. Last week, I traveled with the Executive Director for the first week of a 10-week civic accelerator program, aimed at building scale for our organization in serving underemployed populations. As one of 12 organizations in this cohort, I applied to be part of this accelerator program because I knew, if selected, we would be challenged to be succinct in our offerings and become more robust in our impact. You see, I tend to color outside the lines and do what people think I can’t do. We received a call last month inviting us to attend this prestigious program…a first for an organization in New Mexico. I was excited but also nervous at the caliber of our peers and the coaching team. It was a brain-filling, mind-challenging triumph. We learned our gaps, but we were challenged on what we need to do to fill them. We were paired with a peer group that will help us be accountable and honestly, want to see each other succeed. One morning, on our walk to the daily meetings, the Executive Director asked me, “with all your talent and connections, why are in you involved with this organization?” The easy answer could have been “because you asked me”, but that wasn’t it. I thought about it for a minute. I truly believe in the mission of supporting people to become who they want to be. If I have the skills, network and capability to do that professionally, then that is fulfilling to me.

However, personally I have a deeper connection to the work. I am one of those—1 in 10 New Mexico kids who has or had an incarcerated parent—statistics that we stun the audience with. I was in fifth grade the first time my father was incarcerated. It became cyclical because he didn’t address or get help for his underlining issues of addiction and aggression. Based on that, I decided I could not have a relationship with him as an adult. If there was a program like this when I was growing up, who knows what his life would be like now and the kind of relationship we’d have. However, I don’t wallow in the “could have, should have” philosophy. I believe everything happens for a reason and my path led me back to this body of work to impact others. Initially, I was asked all the time by friends and family, “if I ever felt scared going to work”. My naïve, knee jerk response was, “No, why?” and then followed by, “Oh, you mean because I work with men who have been incarcerated?” I have never felt scared. I think about the dads I work with and how they are treated as 2^nd class citizens (if that). They are judged all the time because of their past choices. Yet, I see every day how they are working SO hard to build better lives for themselves and their families. It’s funny to me because I have dealt with people who are supposed to be community role models, yet don’t go an extra step to be there for others including their families, using the excuse that they have busy schedules or focus on their own interests. I am reminded all the time that you can’t judge a person by what you see on the surface.

Recently, I volunteered with my son at the Westside jail. Several years ago, it was re-purposed to be a winter time shelter for homeless men, women and families. However, nothing was done to change the appearance of the building. Arriving families were met with razor wired fences, industrial-sterile looking rooms and walls, until a woman and her girl scout troop made the time and investment to make it warm and inviting for these families. They first started out on their own and then the Sandia National Labs community jumped in. This woman presented last month to a group I belong to about the volunteer opportunities because the shelter would be opening up again for the season in a few weeks. I volunteered and voluntold Isaiah to join me. When we arrived, it was stark and in the middle of nowhere. The facility was surrounded by high fencing with barb-wire and small but welcoming hearts on each side of the gate. It was a little intimidating. When we walked inside, it was quite different. Taupe walls had been transformed with paintings and powerful words like dream, hope, love… Different segments of the buildings were decorated to support its inhabitants: family rooms, men’s rooms and women’s rooms décor reflecting the users. We were inspired and headed back outside. For our team, we were given silk flowers and flagging tap. Isaiah and I got to work creating floral archways on the two gates while the other volunteers created welcome signs and cheery graphics on the fencing. The outside now reflected the inside—warm and inviting. The beauty and color in the flowers and designs made the twisted wire melt away. I thought about it for a hot moment, how adding some love, support and teamwork--transformations occur. I think how important this is for people.

It's been a while, I'm not who I was before
You look surprised, your words don't burn me anymore
Been meaning to tell you, but I guess it's clear to see
Don't be mad, it's just the brand new kind of me
Can't be bad, I found a brand new kind of free

I was told a few months back, “you have passion and dreams, but you lack foundation”. It’s funny, if put any stock into this comment I might have been devastated, but obviously this person didn’t know me. Instead it was a great motivator for me to follow my dream to show in NYC (and invited to show again in February 2018 with a pop up shop). I'm currently in talks to show in London and potentially in Paris. It gave me self-confidence to apply for the accelerator because this non-profit deserves the best minds to challenge the impact. It reminded me that we all have the power to uplift or tear down and it is incredible to see people overcome odds when they not only put in the work and believe in themselves, but are also mentored and have someone believe in them. And, I realized that is why I’m involved in the manner that I am. Thinking through all the "why I do what I do" gave me the time to formalize the Atelier’s value proposition…Making Impactful Entrances.

When you feel comfortable and confident, you impact the scene. Through Hopeless + Cause Atelier, patrons can also impact the environment through sustainable production processes; they can impact charitable causes and as the brand grows it is my hopes that we will be able to impact sustainable futures by working with domestic social enterprises with livable wages. I have redesigned the website to reflect this. While I love providing style consultation, until now, I haven’t really built out that product. I’ve now created a space on the site for this business. I’m hoping you take advantage of that work. I hope you will continue to follow the Ms. Adventures and the crazy that happens in the Atelier, but I also hope you will have your own positive IMPACT on the community around you and transform it into something beautiful.

Saturday, October 28, 2017 is the National Make a Difference Day. For projects in Albuquerque, visit: https://www.centerfornonprofitexcellence.org/mdd/projects-list. Nationally, visit: http://www.makeadifferenceday.com/.

With light and love!