I am on Day 6 of social distancing. Macy’s made the brave decision to close its stores on Tuesday, March 17th. I was actually home that morning because I had chemically burned my cornea the day before and wore my contact throughout the day and was in pain and couldn’t quite see out of my right eye (only me right?!?). I’ve passed the time prepping for my Project Runway interview, taking lots of walks with the pups, baking (and trying not to eat it all), cleaning, working on projects that I have put off because I didn’t have time, and dancing around my house while drinking wine (what?!? times like this call for measures like that!!)
A virtual cheers with friends…and to all of you out there!
How are you all doing? Are you still working? Do you have all you need to get through this time of flattening the curve? I’d love to hear from you (you can comment below or text or DM me). And I’m sending you a big virtual hug until I can again, and a big cheers to your health, your safety and your sanity.
Since so many have asked, I thought I’d provide an update on my Project Runway path. If you’ve been reading along, you know my application was accepted to move forward in the second round, an in-person interview. It was scheduled for Wednesday, March 18th in Austin, TX. I reached out to my friend and incredible model, Carmen Powers, to see if she would model for me and if she could round up another 3-4 models to join her. She graciously accepted and got to work recruiting. Looking at flights it was going to easily cost $600 and upwards to $850. I figured I’d fly in on Tuesday, March 17th and fly out the evening of March 18th. There was an 8PM flight that would get me in just before 11PM on Wednesday which would give me the day to prepare for the interview. My plan was to fit the models on Tuesday and that would give me time to tailor my creations to make sure the looks would work for the next day. I asked for a 3PM CST interview on the the 18th. I was set and ready to go. However because of the cost of airfare, I wasn’t going to be able to purchase my ticket until Friday (the next pay date).
I went on to focus on the work that I loved at Macy’s. I met with so many friends that were still braving shopping in person (I AM SO GRATEFUL TO YOU FOR THAT). Evenings, I spent trying to determine which looks would best represent me as a designer and would provide a range of my work. I paused for a moment and thought about adjectives that best described my design aesthetic:
sustainable
edgy-demure
community
simple beauty
I thought I had the perfect cohesive, capsule collection of who I am and how I design. Now, I needed to get through the week, where life was changing day-by-day. And on Thursday, it changed to pivot to what was happening around the world.
Early that evening I received a call, not being at a place I could answer, a few minutes later I received a text to call asap. I realized it was the casting person, Rebecca, I had spoken with prior. After work, I returned the call. All in-person interviews had been canceled. I was to be interviewed via Skype by the casting director and the fashion director. After the call, in which it seems was multiple calls by my host, I reached out immediately to Carmen and informed her what had happened. I thanked her and told her this wasn’t the end…more to come! I sent texts to my go to models locally, first with the wrong date and when I snapped updated with the actual date – March 18th. I then went out to Facebook and Instagram.
I received a response from my friend, George, who is the director of events for the Hyatt downtown that he might have a space for me. I also received responses from other models I had worked with and Facebook connections that suggested others. I asked for comp cards to be emailed to me so I could see measurements, looks and find the appropriate model for my collection pieces.
Saturday, at work, was like a ghost town. Still, I wasl so grateful for those that came in specifically wanting to work with me but I ended up spending more than I made that day….anxiety shopping.
A few months ago, I invited a group of friends to join me at Hollow Spirits for their bartender challenge. What I found from overhearing the conversations and people from different aspects of my life coming together, is that there isn’t much that separates us, but something so easy as a family-style dinner is a great way to spend an evening. I continued it in February at M’Tucci’s new restaurant with plans to do a Sunday Supper once a month at a local establishment. Knowing the road ahead of us all, I reached out to them and said I was going to postpone the engagement until it was safer for a large group to be together. Instead, I asked that they spend their $25 that they may have spent on that dinner, supporting a local organization.
Quantini PC: Hollow Spirits
At the end of my day, I reached out to my friend, Lee, and asked if she wanted to meet up after work somewhere local following my own advice. We met up at the Copper Lounge for a cocktail and nachos. I don’t know how I had never been to this swanky bar. We talked about what we thought would happen at Macy’s…everything was still so unknown. The appointments I had scheduled for Sunday canceled, so I offered my services virtually. Luckily, I had an appointment for Monday, so I opted to take Sunday off and work Monday. We went on to Hollow Spirits another one of my favorite local places. Tried their Quarantini, noshed on their carne asada (absolutely love Chef Rogers’ menu) fries and bought bottles of their spirits. I convinced her to join me in Nob Hill the next day….knowing this area would probably be most impacted.
I picked her up from Macy’s and made our way to Central, parked behind the Nob Hill Business Center and made our way to the shops. We stopped in first to see my friend, Lyndsay, at Retail Therapy. It had been sooooo long since I had be able to stop by. We caught up on life and we purchased a few fun goods. We moved on to Gertrude Zachary but the mood on Central as apocalyptic. The streets were so quiet not the bustle on a Sunday that I had been accustomed to over the years of loving this area. Many shops and restaurants were closed. We moved on to Andy and Edie and I found a Paris barrette and Mermaid tee. We moved on to the new local shopping complex at Little Bear and bought sunflower seeds because I knew I could use them come spring. We purchased freshly made chocolate at the Chocolate Dude and popped in to Toad Road. We crossed the street and found a new lovely bath and body shop, LaVon Blu, owned by a mother and son duo. I stocked up on bath products. By that time we were famished, and I thought we could go support AMAZING chef, Bryan Romero, with Rancher’s Club. Arriving at the Crowne Plaza, again the parking lot was sparsely dotted with cars. It was even more haunting as we walked through the halls toward the restaurant. Sadly it wasn’t open but we found a space at the nearby lounge and ordered a bottle of Rose and lunch (and it gives me a reason to come back for a Sunday Supper). We sat by the windows and looked out at the patio. We talked about how fun it would be during the summertime. Headed home, I felt like I had done my part. I had also supported my other friends with online orders: the best beef jerky from Hunter Jaymes Meat Co and Clarity Pages (I figured if I’d be homebound I could work on my goals for the next 13 weeks) and later, 21 Flowers.
Many of you will be receiving these local gifts…well, except the Mermaid tee & Paris barrette. Those are mine.
I know I got off track from Project Runway…but I think it is important for me to share this. I COULD NOT BE WHERE I AM WITHOUT THE SUPPORT OF MY LOCAL COMMUNITY SO IT IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT TO SUPPORT THEM. I went on to work on Monday. I reached out to George about the room. He asked that we take a look at it after work. I was in. I had also posted to my dear friends in the beauty industry if they would be available to help with hair and make-up and they responded in full force. That morning I sent out an email to my models and beauty team with the basic details, stating I would have the final location pinned down that evening and the look book on Tuesday night. Within an hour, I found out that one of my make up artists may have been exposed to COVID19 and was in for testing. She was so disappointed that she wouldn’t be able to help me–I told her not to worry but to take care of herself. We’d have many more opportunities to work together.
The day was again slow with not much traffic in the store. A change in our operational hours was set and we were going to have a leadership meeting that afternoon to discuss further. I had one scheduled appointment and was definitely going all out for this appointment. I was grateful she didn’t cancel and boy did we put together an incredible wardrobe for her (Thanks S, xoxo). I left work just before 5pm and met with George. We looked at a couple of spaces within the hotel. I mentioned that the most important components were good lighting (natural if possible) and good wifi access. We found both on the 19th floor. I was set and EXTREMELY grateful. I headed home driving along Rio Grande as I do when I want to decompress. It had been lightly raining and it felt and smelt wonderful. The rain made the landscape so vibrant and fed my senses….I had been feeling a little nervous about doing a Skype interview. I LOATHE Facetime and Skype meetings because I can see myself and fixate on the dopey facial expression I make. I wanted the directors to see and feel my creations and you really can’t do through the virtual experience.
I got home and peeled out the contact that was burning my eye. I couldn’t believe I had gone through the day with it in there. I didn’t have my glasses with me nor my contact solution or eye drops at work. My eye was bright red so I rinsed it out several times and put a cold compress on it. During that time, a couple of things happened. George informed me he had been furloughed and would let me know who my contact would be at the hotel. FUCK! Here we go. I asked him if there was anything he needed. Next, I saw that a post was circulating about supporting local while knocking corporate entities. It bothered because: 1. Do you remember Sears and Kmart? and 2. People I had supported personally were sharing it. I couldn’t let it go, so I posted my own response.
Out of that came a really good discussion with my hair stylist and friend, Amanda. We are all living in this crazy time. We need to be looking out for each other and not creating division. I was in so much pain and in the back of my head thinking how am I going to get to a doctor and would this red eye be present for my interview. However, we had such an incredible conversation that I couldn’t hang up (we were on for an hour and a half…those that know me know I am rarely on that long). I went to sleep and woke up in the morning feeling a little better but my eye was still horribly red. Since I didn’t have any appointments, I opted not to go in. I laid on the couch for a little while longer with my cold compress and bandana on my eye. It was around 10:30AM when I heard from Lee. Macy’s had made the decision to close the stores through March 31st. Once again, FUCK! It was the right thing to do for the safety of their employees and customers but it definitely got in my head for the next couple of hours.
Once I snapped out of it and realized I can make it work, I reached out to my friend Melissa, the stylist and owner of Scissorhands Hair Studio. I asked if we could move the whole production to her studio. She graciously said, “YES!”. I reached out to my stylist Amanda, with Mark Pardo, and asked if I could get in to have my bangs trimmed. She offered to come by my casita after she got off work (if you saw my PR video then you saw how much I was messing with them and I didn’t want to do that for the interview). Now that Macy’s was closed, I reached out to the woman who has beautified my look for several occasions and MAC boss, Stephanie, to see if she could help. She was in. Finally, I got to work on the lookbook.
I went on to schedule appointment times, staggering them as much as I could to ensure proper social distancing. I did not take this lightly and informed everyone that if for any reason they did not feel comfortable about taking part, I completely understood. Since Sofi works in the health field and with vulnerable patients she opted to do her own hair and make up. I was totally fine with that. Melissa asked if I could join her early to talk through the looks. When I arrived, the salon smelt like medical grade disinfectant. I asked if I can help with anything. She wanted to ensure everyone was safe and we made sure that everyone washed their hands thoroughly and that the beauty team wiped down their tools with alcohol after each use. Stephanie arrived about 10:30am and set up her station. Giselle and Jade arrived about 11AM and Melissa and Stephanie got to work.
About noon, Alyssia arrived and shortly thereafter, Sabrina joined us. As hair and make up was being done. I was the countdown clock. Kim and Krystina hadn’t arrived yet. Kim was trying to track down dog food and Krystina got busy packing and lost track of time. I had asked that I too have mine done, nothing too much. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t look like the walking dead. As the team was busy working, the governor had called a press conference to talk through closures, beginning March 18th, for the service industry: bars, restaurants, salons, movie theaters and malls….any large gathering place. My heart sank knowing how much this would impact our economy and the livelihood of the team I had in the room. Melissa had already informed me that she had made the difficult decision to close the salon for two weeks but the governor’s announcement extended for another week.
Kim and Krystina arrived just before 1PM and they immediately got to work. Sofi arrived around the same time. The contact from the casting company informed me that I would be on at 2PM, but that I should be on standby in the case they were running behind. I made sure we were ready by that time. Just before 2PM I received a message they were, were running about 35-45 minutes late. Up until that point, I was focused even though everyone was asking if I was nervous. Now that we had the down time, I started to focus on that energy. I asked the ladies to do a run through and thought about what I’d say. I worked through where I’d stand and where the models would come in and in what order.
Wearing my tall, chunky heels, and standing on an uneven surface, I almost fell through the glass door as I grabbed a hold of the wall to steady myself and not go crashing down, I noticed Skype line was ringing, but I couldn’t answer it. I think I hung up and it rang again but I couldn’t answer it. I asked someone who knew technology to help. Alyssia came over and said it was ringing. I realized I was the one calling. SMH! I got a message they needed another 15 minutes. ARGH!!!! We got it all figured out and I realized I would not stand on the textured surface for the interview.
At about 3PM, the line rang and the casting director, Noelle, came on. It was a gloomy, rainy day so I was in a spot that I could pull as much light as possible. As we spoke, she asked about turning my phone horizontally so they could get the best look possible. She also mentioned turning because the sun behind me was acting as a back light and she couldn’t see my face very well. I could not get my phone to work properly so asked if I could use a computer. Both Alyssia and Sabrina brought theirs, as they tried to download the Microsoft Skype App on their Mac computers (not easy at all), Sofi got it up on her phone, horizontally as asked. We got back online. Again because of the sun and the fact that I would have to go back and forth between me and the models, Noelle asked if I could have someone hold the phone and I stand with the models. Adriana, Jade’s mom, jumped in. It took a few more minutes to get the fashion director on the line, but once he was we were on our way. Except Sofi’s phone notified us that it was at 20% charge. We ran and got Sabrina’s computer and my charging cord and plugged it in (I swear technology does not like me and I’m sure there was some remnant Mercury in retrograde energy here).
I introduced myself and brought in the first model, Giselle. I talked about the sustainability of my line, how with my community of creatives to bring effortless beauty to women who appreciate it. I went on to bring in Alyssia to talk about how I’m inspired and utilize unconventional materials like the cockatiel feathers in the neckline. What I create has a story behind it. Like the dress on Sabrina, the image is my NYC photograph printed on poplin. It is lightweight but still makes a statement. I next brought on Sofi and talked about her look using organic linen and remnants from an upholstery scrap book but the devil is in the details with the clock buttons. I switch out her look last minute because I realized, I had no pants in my looks and again wanted to show the sustainability and use of unconventional materials in my creations. I ended the segment with my Carmen dress. I teased that while I like glam I’m not Christian Dior who would design with yards and yards of material to make a point during the rationing period of the 1940’s (it garnered a laugh from the director).
I was asked about my education in this space and I told him my story and how this is my passion project. The session concluded with a recap of what he felt I did well and opportunities (just like a Project Runway episode). He said from our conversation that I knew my customer and my design aesthetic. He like the sustainability and story behind my line. He said my technical skills, specifically fit, were my biggest opportunity. And I knew it. If I had made more time I would have done a fitting and edits before hand. The call ended with Noelle stating I needed to send photos of the looks and I would hear one way or another for the next two weeks…back to the waiting game.
Yesterday, my grandma and aunt Lisa called to check in. I told them I was hanging in there. My aunt said my grandma was praying to see me on Thursdays. “Thursdays?”, I asked. “Yeah, on Project Runway, but only if it is safe.” I almost cried. We really are a community and when we support each other, we are unstoppable. So many of you have asked me how it’s gone…and believe it or not, I kind of black out in these instances. But I feel I was true to me. We’ll see if they see that too….
And if I can’t be on Project Runway, maybe I can be a “hermit star”?!?
Thank you for all the positive energy and prayers. There is definitely more to come in this Ms. Adventure. In the meantime, if you are blessed to have disposable income during this period, please consider supporting your local businesses and non-profits. I have provided links to the ones I’ve noted above. I know I could not do what I do without their support and please feel free to share your favorites in the comments. I believe in the power of positivity, so until I can give you a big hug, laugh with you hysterically and loud where you can hear it across Macy’s or where ever we may be, and travel to see you, know that I am thinking of you and will probably send you a text or DM checking on you.
With SOOOO MUCH light and love, Dara Sophia Romero
It’s crazy how the world has turned upside down and inside out since I returned from NYC. A month ago, I wasn’t worried about traveling and Coronavirus was barely talked about. Now, there is world-wide panic, countries are quarantining their residents and people are stockpiling toilet paper and disinfectant. In fact, I was supposed to be traveling to Dallas this week for a conference but it’s been postponed with part of it happening virtually.
Life at home has taken a toll as well. You may or may not know I have two small pups: a pug-chihuahua mix and queen, Kiki, and a long hair dachshund of pure joy, Chibi. They are in their latter years, 14 and 13, respectively. Before I left to NYC, I asked KK to stay with them because Kiki, especially, has been feeling the effects of old age. Partially blind and with nervous system issues, she had been having problems walking. Since I’ve returned, she’s become completely immobile. I’ve only slept in my bed a handful of times the past month and a full-night, uninterrupted sleep, less than that. I have opted to sleep on the couch with a make shift bed for her right underneath me. Chibi usually joins us and typically right on top of her. She seems to know when I have important days scheduled the next day and makes sure I’m only functioning on 3 or if I’m lucky, 4 hours of sleep (the days I’m off she tends to give me a full 6 hours only waking up two or three times).
She also has major anxiety if she can’t hear or see me. For example, right now I’m sitting on my cheetah chair typing this with her at my feet (or in my lap) with my music playlist going. She vocalizes this anxiety and it isn’t a quiet yelp. She makes sure everyone including the neighbors know that she’s displeased I’m not with her. I no longer go to the bathroom, take a shower or make dinner in peace. I do yoga with her make shift bed next to me. I have found that the only other things that appease her are her CBD treats and putting on PBS in her bedroom when I leave for work. We go for walks almost every morning (except those night’s I didn’t get sleep and have an early appointment). She rests in my arms and I squat on the side of the road when I feel her hips open to relieve herself. Chibi is just happy to explore and I smile that I have these moments with them. It is the purest form of love and I try not to think about the day I won’t have these moments with them, but I also know that I don’t want her to live in pain so that moment that I can no longer comfort her easily…well, we won’t think about that. You do what you need to for who and what you love, right?
Because of this self-absorption, and honestly because I don’t watch the news, I haven’t been completely up-to-date on global events. I thought this virus was so far away from me. I had finally set aside time to focus on Hopeless + Cause Atelier again and started sketching and while Paris Fashion Week is 7 months away, I knew it would be here sooner than expected. Then this week, something extraordinary happened.
Those who have been following my design story from the beginning know that I was encouraged to apply to Project Runway five years ago…and I did. I had this professional and beautiful video created. There were so many people excited by it…almost as much as I was.
Here is the interview about it and other things happening at the time.
I didn’t have a lot of experience under my belt, but I had gumption. I didn’t make it past the application phase. I tried a few more times. But honestly, didn’t think I had the drama that the show seemed to warrant, so I focused on the things I could accomplish…NYFW, London Fashion Week and Paris Fashion Week.
As I’ve said before, I love to create. And if my creations give me the opportunity to travel the world and write about it, then I have lived a full life. I would love and not pass up the opportunity to have a world renowned brand, but I really want to create for those individuals that value what I have to offer. I also want to create in a sustainable way and we all know how the fashion industry adds to the environment and not always in a positive way. Hopeless + Cause Atelier is my passion project and if you don’t know the origins, here is the LINK to find out the story behind it.
Tuesday, I was walking the floor at work and happened to check my email. I had a message from casting with Project Runway. The woman said she found my brand and loved my work. She asked if I’d like to learn more. I went over to my Instagram account and found messages there as well. I knew this wasn’t a fluke so I responded saying I’d be on my lunch for the next half hour and I would love to talk to her if she had the time. I gave her my number, within minutes she was calling. We spent the next 15-20 minutes on the phone. She asked me about my design story, my aesthetic and other bits about me. I mentioned to her that I had applied before but didn’t feel like I brought the drama. She laughed and said, I had the personality for the show. She gave me instructions to submit my video and look book that evening. She then asked what the closest city would be for me if I made it on to the interview portion. I bluntly replied, “New York”. Confused by this answer and proximity to where I live, she asked about New York restating that I was from New Mexico. I told her I could get there via red-eye and for less than many of the other cities they were interviewing in. She pushed Austin and I finally, begrudgingly obliged. LOL.
That day was filled with meetings, clients and after work planning sessions. The first meeting after work, I met with two incredible chefs, Tristan and Bryan, my fabulous, event planner extraordinaire, George and right hand for Macy’s events, Lee. Sofi showed up early for our Paris Fashion Week discussion and joined in the conversation. This meeting was to plan an awesome event raising funds for hunger issues utilizing Macy’s products and support and tapping into the talents of our local culinary geniuses. Within the hour, we had the chefs in place, judges, venue and theme, 86ing Hunger. I love people that aren’t just idea people but also get shit done. Sofi, Lee and I continued our conversation into Paris Fashion Week and again the Coronavirus came into question. I reinstated that no matter what happens, if the airlines are flying and the production company is hosting, I will be showing my work in September. I had also shared what had happened earlier in the day. Although, Lee had witnessed my conversation and the smile on my face throughout that phone discussion. I had asked Sofi if she would take the video for that portion of the application. The casting director told me not to spend money on having a professional video done…that an iPhone video of me and my personality and some of my work would suffice. By the end of the conversation, and because it was a Tuesday night, I told her not to worry about it.
I got home and decided there wouldn’t be a better time than now to do the video. I went into my dinning room, aka Atelier, and started filming with my iPhone….and of course, Kiki started whining in the back ground. Because I didn’t want my video to sound like I was beating babies in the background, I moved her to my bathroom just for the video. I had originally tried holding her and holding my phone to video, but I couldn’t do both. After take twenty-nine, I finally got a few segments to work with. Exhausted I went to bed, thinking I’d get up early to edit the video and finish my look book.
That didn’t happen. Kiki had a rough night and that meant me too. I had three hours of sleep, a radio interview for a prom event I’m co-hosting with Locker #505 and Macy’s district VP visiting. Project Runway would have to be put aside until my next day off, Thursday.
Refreshed the next morning, I got to work on editing the video, creating my look book and completing the application. There was so much thought put into the images for the look book. It made me contemplate where I’ve been, where I’m at, and the possibilities of where I can go. Yes, I am a fashion designer (and as someone once told me to quiet that mind fuck called impostor syndrome, “Fuck yeah, I’m a fashion icon bitches.” STILL HARD FOR ME TO REPEAT). Yet, I am humbled because I KNOW I could not have accomplished what I have all on my own. I need the models, beauty teams, photographers, event producers, right hand production managers, but most importantly patrons, to bring my creations to life…to breathe individuality, beauty, empowerment and to live a dream into reality. And that was heavy…but in a powerfully good way!
I went on to complete the application. It was different this time around. No questions were found asking about restraining orders. The question about what those closest to you would say is your best and worst quality was found again (I’m interested to learn what you think…you can comment below). I completed the entire package within two hours and sent the casting director the link for my video and the look book.
I had been posting the turn of events on social media with wonderful support. I went out to Facebook and a memory from 5 years ago appeared. It was the first time I had applied.
I shared the memory and added, “Wow, this memory just popped up…5 years ago today, I applied to Project Runway for the first time. It wasn’t under Hopeless + Cause Atelier. I almost gave up on this dream only a few months later until my 💜 wouldn’t let me quit. Since then, I’ve accomplished more than I could have ever dreamed. I’ve stumbled. I’ve gotten my ass kicked more than once. But, I’ve also achieved new heights and now, I’m soaring because I’ve followed my deep pigeon red, lopsided heart. ♥️ Who knew?!?” It was now in the casting team’s hands.
I went on to contacting clients, planning events and enjoying life. Friday came and as I went to take the pups for their morning walk, I dropped my phone. Completely cracked, I couldn’t use it. Grrr! I returned to work to find out that my much anticipated trip to Dallas to learn more tips for succeeding in my role and seeing all my incredible colleagues, was postponed due to the Coronavirus. What the heck?!? Was someone going to come in and kick me in the shins next. That morning, I talked with a model friend about an event she is producing and wanted to know if I would outfit DV survivors. Honored, I jumped at the opportunity. I ran over to the phone “fix it” store in the mall. Ran back and met with one of my favorite couples in getting some items they needed. I went on and worked on other appointments when again that afternoon I was stopped in my tracks.
I received notification that I was moving on to the next round. I tried not to scream as I was suiting a gentleman for Kentucky Derby. While he was in the fitting room, I sent a text to those closest to me. Then at the register, I blurted it out to this complete stranger. He thought it was incredible…I just couldn’t help it. I posted later that evening…
PC: Kate Rodriguez Duran Hair: Ignacio Ortega MUA: Angelique Taylor Models in shot: Brook Benham, Smitha Giano Addy Nicole Jewelry: MINU Jewels Graphic Design on Hera dress: Meri C Fox-Szauter Location: Downtown Contemporary Gallery #hopelesscauseatelier – first show November 5, 2015
“I had no idea where I’d be in 5 years but I had a dream, the work ethic and the tenacity to believe I deserve it. I’M MOVING ON TO THE NEXT ROUND #projectrunway. Thank you for all the love and belief. Keep the positive energy coming please. There’s still a long way to go. More to come!! 😘”
I am moving on to the next round and it’s almost unbelievable. I’ve learned to so appreciate those who support me and tune out those that I thought would, yet are silent in moments like this. I’ve started the planning process and have found that I have an incredible leg up with one of my favorite models nearby and available to showcase my work (plus recruiting others). I can’t share the inner dealings of the process, but I will be journaling my adventures and will share more soon. I just REALLY hope the Coronavirus doesn’t ground flights. And since my pug is sleeping, I think I’m going to take a nap.
Thank YOU for the love and support…and if it’s not too much to ask, please keep sending those prayers, love, support and good juju. It helps immensely.
You remind me, yeah You remind me of such sweet memories OhI saw you before baby It’s a deja vu honey Don’t you know that you remind me
You Remind Me – Mary J Blige
I have been traveling to NYC in February every year since 2013. It has been a constant for me and a savior from the winter blues, even when it’s a blizzard or lowest temperatures on record. I feed off the energy and it fuels my creative juices. I don’t know why January always seems so brutal but this year was no different than any other, just a new set of challenges. I was looking forward for this trip especially when my round-trip flight cost $5.20. And, after a few conversations, I was able to convince my friend, Sofi to go with me.
I headed out early because the Jet Blue red eye only runs Monday and Thursday during the week and I made a commitment to back on Saturday for La Noche Encantada. Beyond attending Fashion Week shows, I wanted to meet with my tattoo artist to talk about collaboration for Paris Fashion Week, have dinner with Amanda and Andy, fabric shop and get my brows done at Macy’s Herald Square (yes, I go to NYC for my brows, don’t judge). However, a HUGE opportunity was presented to me the week before my departure. The Louis Vuitton team from Herald Square reached out to the Stylist team to talk about the opportunity to sell to Louis Vuitton (yes, Louis Vuitton) to our clients when they use their Macy’s card. I was ALL over the opportunity, so I explained I would be visiting and we set up a time for training on the process and an overview of all the offerings.
Sofi would be joining me Wednesday night so I scheduled all my engagements before her arrival. I worked Monday; went home packed and headed to the airport at 10pm. I was pretty exhausted so I knew I wouldn’t have a hard time falling asleep…the only issue would be whether or not my row would be full or I’d be able to lay out. Thank you, God, I had the whole row to myself so strapped into the middle seat belt I laid horizontal and soaked out as much sleep as I could squeeze out to the 3 and a half hour flight. Arriving to NYC about 5:30am, I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. I was on a pretty tight budget for this trip and since Super Shuttle, formerly, my inexpensive way into the city, was no longer in operation, I put on my big girl panties and decided to take the subway to my hotel in lieu of an Uber or Lyft ($10.50 vs $40). I really had to wake up now and pay attention to where I was going. I had to switch trains once but made without too many issues in getting there (it was morning rush hour so the train from Jamaica Square was a little tight).
I arrived at the Doubletree Metropolitan about 7:30am and was able to check into my room with warm cookies about 9am. Exhaustion took over so I took off my clothes and climbed into bed with Vanderpump Rules on the tv as background noise. I came in and out of consciousness, finally waking up at 1pm. I was planning on meeting Amanda and Andy in Hoboken, NJ for dinner about 6:30pm. I jumped into the shower and dressed in layers because I know how cold the weather along the waterfront in NJ can be. I wore a sweater dress, nylons, over-the-knee boots, my North Face zip up hoodie and my faux fur coat and headed out. I decided I would head out to St. Patrick’s Cathedral, as I always do to say a prayer for me. Luckily, it was three blocks west. However, I noticed my hotel was caddy-corner from the historic Waldorf-Astoria, the grand dame hotel, and the first place I stayed in NYC back in 2005. Currently under a remodel, I couldn’t go in to see this beautiful art deco designed hotel but it started the chain of deja vu moments throughout this trip.
After a few prayers at St. Patrick’s in being in awe of the beauty this holy place hold for me, I decided to get my energy infusion and sensory overload from Times Square. I walked through and moved on to Herald Square. I wanted to find the Macy’s employee entrance before my meeting in the morning (I had been smiling ridiculously the week before at the thought that I was going into Herald Square to learn about Louis Vuitton…wait, did I tell you about this already…lol).
I continued on to the Path Station on 23 street. I was dying. The weather was gorgeous and I was wearing too many layers. As I walked up to the station, deja vu hit again. I had been there a year before, having problems with the ticket booth and being introduced to a ginormous subway rat, so as I descend into the bowls of the city, I was alert of what might pop out to say, “hello”, while having both cash and card ready to purchase my ticket. I arrived earlier than Amanda and Andy, so instead of hanging out in the train station with all the “real cool” people, I decided to walk to the restaurant since it was such a beautiful night. As I walked through the neighborhood, I asked myself if I could live there. The streets were quaint some still with charm like cobblestone streets and full gardens in the front patios with easy access to the city, I thought I just might.
I arrived a little bit early and got our table. They arrived and I greeted them with big hugs. I was so happy they could join me for a dinner early in the work week. Amanda asked about my plans this trip and we talked about life since I last saw them in December. I think I finally convinced them to come out to NM in May (fingers crossed). I loved that I was with them as their daughter shared her wedding video, so I got see it as well as Amanda’s emotional response to it–it was beautiful.
We continued to eat, drink, converse and laugh, especially at the Exit sign that was covered with a simple piece of paper that said, “This is Not an Exit”. They both said, “only in New Jersey”. We walked back to the train station embraced and headed our own ways. I boarded the train and got off at the 33rd street station, this time it was early enough that I wasn’t afraid I was going to be locked in underground. The night was so incredibly beautiful, I decided to walk back to the hotel (5 miles walked).
I crashed into a deep sleep but woke up a few hours later and made myself go back to sleep. I woke around 8am and realized I needed to leave the hotel by 8:30am to get to Macy’s by 9:00am. Walking traffic was a crowded as the subway the morning before. I envisaged walking to work and thought about where I’d live and my ideal job in the city.
As I approached the Macy’s entrance on 35th, I joined the mass going in and I got the goosebumps. I was so excited and felt like I was walking into Miracle on 34th Street. This was it the flagship store and I was training with the Louis Vuitton team (did I already tell you that?). The entrance was different than my own at Coronado. I checked in and presented my ID. I called my contact when I was informed that I would need to be picked up from this area. My colleague, Imran, came a few minutes later and took me over to the store within a store. I met Amanda the store manager and we started from the 3rd floor and worked our way down.
The top floor was a museum of beautiful hand panted trunks, women’s shoes and accessories. The two of them talked about how I would get an assist credit on orders placed with the Herald Square location. We talked about the seasonality of the product offerings which added to the exclusivity of Louis Vuitton.
We moved on down to the 2nd floor and the men’s offerings. I already had a client waiting for me to come back and work with him on a few accessories, so I asked a number of questions about the products.
We continued down to the first floor. I learned about the latest spring offerings and the luxurious fabrics, the design and the desire it all created. I snapped photo after photo building my portfolio for social media to generate the excitement that I could be the key in New Mexico for Louis Vuitton. Right now you can by fake ones, previously used ones or order on-line but I could help curate your collection directly. That made me happy and I really want to overachieve this goal as well as make the team aware of it so if the opportunity arrives in NYC…just sayin! After being given a goodie bag of the latest scents and some more photos, I headed upstairs to start the posts and grab a coffee. I loved saying, “I’m a Macy’s employee for my discount at Starbucks.” Around 11am, I made my way back to the hotel. I was planning to meet Anna, my tattoo artist at the Whitney for a conversation on creation and collaboration and to view the exhibit on Mexican Murals.
On my path back to the hotel and literally across the street from Macy’s is the Desigual flagship store. New York Fashion Week began for me in 2013 with a ticket to see Desigual at Lincoln Center. It absolutely changed my life in so many ways. I am grateful for heartache and the heartfelt life I’ve lived because of it. Thanks for reminding me La Vida es Chula and Sex. Fun. Love. ♥️💋
The weather was still incredibly mild for February so I decided I’d walk to the Whitney, which is on the westside near the Hudson river. As I walked through Chelsea, I stopped at a few mom and pop shops to look at fabric and such.I walked down the street of the Doubletree I normally stay at and smiled, I looked over to my favorite local coffee shop to see Malcom Gladwell step out. Now, I didn’t stop him to talk about his writings or ask for his photo, but knew it was him and smiled. I received a message from Ana saying it was looking more like 3pm, so walked around the corner I popped into the FIT museum to see the latest exhibit and to kill some time.
I guess I’ve visited so many times that the pieces I saw were from previous collections, yet I was still inspired. I continued west through campus and dreamed what it would be like to be a student. As I walked down 8th, deja vu hit me fiercely, but I had been there just a year before. As I walked past Dallas BBQ, I was reminded of my first official NYFW visit and being stopped on the street by a clairvoyant named Dallas and every time I see a reminder of Dallas, I want to reach out to her and find out what she currently sees in my life. I walked south past Momofuku Nishi and remember getting flustered when I couldn’t find it and having a smiling face peer out to great me and the wonderful dinner of pasta, wine pairing and conversation a cold February night, just the year before. I smiled and continued on.
Checking off my 3rd Eduardo Kobra mural…I absolutely adore them and hope to stumble upon all of them in my Ms Adventures in NYC
As I walked through the meat packing district toward the Whitney, I looked up and saw familiar lighting coming from a building in the distance. This trip I had a different view. Last June, I was enjoying cocktails from that view above wondering what was on the lower level. Today, I was there. I was early for our meeting time so I decided to visit the high line. I had been talking about going there every trip and especially when I was there last April when I thought I was going to be doing dinner solo on a beautiful spring day. I walked through the path and enjoyed the views the flora and the art that dotted the landscape.
Can you see the lights at the Top of the Standard?
I finally got in contact with Anna and we met on the 8th floor cafe. We started talking about our day and slowly moved into ideas about design and how to incorporate her designs into what I would create. I looked through her sketch book with intention from woman figures, to script to clowns, there were beautifully sketched pieces that I thought could be incorporated into a printed pattern or free-formed painting on fabric. We talked about out the options. As we wrapped up our discussions, the view from the windows called to me so I stepped outside to take it all in.
sketch by Anastassia Menshikova
We descended the stairs and went into the exhibits. Unfortunately, I paid the $25 ticket and the Mexican Mural exhibit wasn’t up yet. However, I saw a familiar New Mexico artist and the painting that my mom had a print of. We also appreciated a number of fashion based sculptures. We walked out about 20 minutes later.
As we walked we talked about tattoos. Anna mentioned how much tattoo artists hate getting them. I laughed because I assumed because of the sheer number of them each artist, I’ve seen, tends to have. Walking down the road she blurted out, as a pothead I feel it my responsibility to offer you some. I smiled thinking she must feel comfortable with me to offer. I declined but it brought up the discussion on pot and whether it had been legalized in NYC as I smelt it around every block in the city. She stated it hadn’t but it was decriminalized. That discussion went on to include whether or not you can drink or smoke before getting a tattoo. She said really it doesn’t make you bleed more if you drink but tattoo artists don’t want to deal with your drunk ass. She also highly recommended not smoking before going in for one if you don’t smoke on the regular because you don’t know what reaction you will have. I just figured I’d ask in case I want to take a shot of tequila the next time. LOL. We parted ways a few blocks down the road. Famished I stopped by Cava for a kids meal and made my way back to the hotel to prepare for Sofi’s arrival. Along the way, I stopped by a wine and liquor store. It was one on Madison that I had frequented two years prior when I was staying with Laura for my AW showing at NYFW and we stocked up on wine because a bottle for $9 is better than a glass for $10. As I write this blog, I finally googled why beer and wine aren’t sold in the same store. I guess beer is considered a bread product and can be sold with food. Wine and spirits are considered alcohol and alcohol and food can’t be sold under the same roof. HUH?!? Well, ok.
I saw you before baby It’s a deja vu honey Don’t you know that you remind me
You Remind Me – Mary J Blige
I got back to the hotel and relaxed for a couple of hours. Checking and responding to email; reading messages from colleagues whose positions have been eliminated from the company and feeling a little melancholy about it all. I was watching Twilight New Moon (the absolutely BEST one of the series) when Sofi arrived, around 8:30pm. As she was freshening up, I was scrolling through Instagram and saw a post from our social media team that the Style Crew members in NYC had a chance to see Jessica Simpson today at 6pm. AGAD!! I was just there earlier and wished I had seen it, so I sent a message to the team leaders saying sharing my bummery. It was a total missed opportunity.
The original plan was to go to dinner at this fabulous Chinese restaurant I had been introduced to in the East Village but after realizing we’d be leaving about 9:30pm and the restaurant closes at 10:30pm. We opted to stay nearby. I had told her about the igloos on the rooftop of 230 5th and since it still was a lovely evening we opted to go there. Of course I made Sofi walk, because it was only 23 blocks away and since we’d be noshing on appetizers and sipping cocktails it would be a great way to get our metabolism going (I don’t think she entirely believed me). When we arrived it was a little after 10pm and for a Wednesday night there was a good mix of people but it wasn’t super busy. We found an igloo to ourselves which was a nice break from the light breeze filling the air. The last time I had been here was 5 years ago, during the day and in May and the views are absolutely phenomenal with the Empire State Building within reach, around the other corner, the golden gilded Woolworth Building (sorry, Sof I thought it was the Met Life Building), and just a little further, the Freedom Tower. When we realized there wasn’t table service we got up to order at the bar. Fried foods and cocktails were on the menu tonight…OH BOY! With cocktails in hand we walked back to the igloo and found there were a handful of people there, both of us being wallflowers we opted to sit under the heaters in the open space. It was really nice until the breeze started picking up, but we had a great conversation about work and what we hoped to do for the next few days. We headed back about midnight, Sofi made me take the subway. Back in the room we drank more wine and continued our conversation until drifting off about 2am (10 miles walked).
dreamy gray day in NYC
I woke the next morning around 8am. I had an appointment at the brow bar at Macy’s. I tease that I fly out to NYC to get my brows done (I do but sometimes it’s months in between and I really am looking like a uni-brow…lol). Walking, I arrived just minutes before the store opened. I love the way Herald Square welcomes its guests with music and clapping. I made my way to the Benefit Brow Bar, saying a warm “hello” to Kosima, aesthetician. She asked about my trip and what shows I’d be seeing. We talked about her recent vacation to Jamaica and how warm and beautiful that was. After 20 minutes, my brows were separate and quite lovely. I asked her were the Last Act formal dresses were because 1. I was on a tight budget and 2. I still didn’t have my dress for La Noche Encantada.
As I was perusing the beautiful dresses and realizing Last Act pricing at Herald Square was not the same as Last Act Coronado, I realized I had a direct message from Noura Barnes, one of the leads for Macy’s social media. She mentioned there was another event happening on Friday and if I was in town she would share the invite. I asked her to please share. I also mentioned I was at Herald Square and if she had time I’d love to visit with her. She did but mentioned she was in the building across the street. I headed her way.
11:11
As I went through security and received my temporary badge, I had a reminder from someone that I was in the right place at the right time. I went upstairs and had a lovely conversation with Noura. She talked about the background of #MacysStyleCrew, about upcoming opportunities, and some changes within the organization. And like any good leader, she asked for my ideas and input taking notes she offered to look into it more. We talked for about 45 minutes and then like social media mavens took a selfie together. I headed out and realized that I needed to check with my team back home because they were taking on the fitting for the emcee of La Noche. I’m glad that I did because nothing was in place as I had asked, which totally frustrated me because I took the time to ensure that everything was in place. It ended working out smoothly and the emcee didn’t end up wearing the clothing, but I hate not looking professional and that could’ve been a reflection on me and my work. Because of that I needed to walk it out, so I headed back to the hotel on foot.
As I arrived, Sofi was ready to hit the town. We were both hungry so opted to go to Urbanspace, a cafeteria like concept that you could choose between several different restaurants in one location. We walked to the one near Grand Central Station (later realizing there was one right across the street from our hotel). The only event we had planned for the evening was the ASC Fashion Week Industry Party at Celon on 40th. I did want to continue to look for a dress and accessories so I thought I’d try Buffalo Exchange and Sofi was down. We headed west, but like every start to your trip in NYC, you need to go to Times Square for that energy rush. We did and I got a few great photos of her soaking it all in. We then headed down fashion avenue.
As we approached, FIT I asked Sofi if she wanted to she the exhibits. When she agreed, we went in. Unfortunately, the ballerina one I wanted to see wasn’t open yet…what the heck NYC two exhibits I’d miss out on this trip. We walked through the clothing as armor (me for the 2nd time) and then the black history month exhibit. We picked out our favorite looks in each. Outside the FIT was a coffee and tea pop up shop for the new CW show airing that evening, Katy and Keene. As I’m sure it was targeted for fashion college students what a great way to remind them to watch it that evening.
We continued a few blocks south when we arrived at Buffalo Exchange. I’ve shopped here so many times and love the selection I always find. I was immediately drawn to a black lace and leather Diane Von Furstenberg dress, a brightly colored animal print Kate Spade dress and then I almost fell over when I found a Halston Heritage dress on sale from the $40 asking price. The only problem, my boobs. Could I get a reduction in the next two days? Probably not, so after I found that it was only going to cost $30, I thought I’m going to have to get shapewear, which made me throw up a little in my mouth, but the dress was perfect…I needed to suck it up. Sofi found this fabulous off the shoulder black dress with a slit up to there and a fun black acid washed jean dress right out of the late 80’s. We took our purchases and started to make our way back to the hotel. We stopped at jewelry wholesellers along the way. She found some fun brightly colored earrings and I couldn’t make up my mind on what would be the right accessories for the dress.
It’s crazy to me how much negative attention Shakira and Jennifer Lopez received for their performances during the Super Bowl half-time show. They are strong, beautiful women who showed that being older is powerful when you are comfortable in your own skin and own who you are. YASSS QUEENS!
We made it back to the hotel and started to get ready for the evening ahead. I had started a conversation with a friend back in ABQ earlier in the day when I had come across a meme of Jennifer Lopez that said, “Latinas be like 132 years old”. I thought it was hilarious because no one ever believes I’m 46 years old which is a blessing. He didn’t understand my humor (I know it’s not for everyone but I think I’m flippin hilarious). We were ready and calling for an Uber. I opted to wear my over-sized, black waffled tunic with over the knee boots and my grams squash blossom necklace and Sofi wore her recent find with skyscraper booties (like she needed to add height next to me).
We got to the club and a dj was playing. As both self reported wallflowers, we opted to go to the bar and get a glass of wine before settling down at an open table. After a few photos and another glass of wine, we decided to hit the dance floor and danced until well after 11pm (HAHAHA I’m old).
We were hungry and since the bartender ignored our original order for food I told her we were way too close not to go to Shake Shack. Oh my heavens there’s nothing like it after dancing for hours. We got back to the hotel and continued our conversation. The plan was to do a guerrilla photo shoot in the morning and I suggested the Flat Iron Building. Let’s see if we’d make the 9am call time (8 miles walked).
“Today, I get to play photographer…let’s see how that goes.”
I dragged my butt out of bed about 9:30am. Sofi immediately mentioned we were pushing out the start time to 10am (that later became 10:30am). I was to be the photographer and we were being joined by one of her model friends that she met at the Coco Rocha camp last year. I threw on my athletic wear, hightops and put my H+CA hat on. No time for a shower. We took the subway to Madison Square Park. Now I notice everything that happens around me in this busy city but also in life…so this city can become overwhelming….the sights, the sounds, the smells, the closeness of it all. However, I love being that “fly on the wall” taking it all in and using it to inspire my creativity. This morning, I played photographer and can’t wait to see the “official” photos but for now, here are my behind the scenes.
And yes, I am officially adding photographer to my resume.
Luckily, Sofi has published one and it’s so fun! She entitled it “You can’t sit here” total Mean Girls reference…but I see power in it and the black and white filter makes it even more so. After grabbing a bite to eat, we took the subway back. I needed to get ready for the Cocktails and Corsets event at Herald Square and she was going to go to a casting for an upcoming show. I got dressed in my dungarees, white button up, red handkerchief, leopard print booties and red lips and took my Halston dress with me to see if I could find the right minimizing shapewear. Getting off at 33rd street, I arrived at Herald Square just as it started to rain, I walked in and headed up to the 7th floor where the event would take place in intimate apparel. I walked in at 2:38pm (the event began at 3pm) to a line so I took my spot and waited for a little over a half hour, talking to the other attendees and hoping my phone, which had been tweaking out the entire trip wouldn’t die on me). I checked in on Sofi and like me she was in a long ass line. However, I was indoors and she was outdoors, mentioned it was snowing at one point.
Once I approached the entrance, I received a swag bag that I kid you not weighed 10-15 lbs. I then proceeded to the selfie station to take a photo and post on Instagram thanking Noura and the Style Crew for the invite.
#macyslove
I proceeded to the lingerie and shapewear and realized I didn’t need an expensive sausage maker, I needed a minimizing bra. So I grabbed a pair of fishnet stockings (Roaring 20’s theme, plus I think they are super fun to wear) and a minimizing bra that was on a super sale. With my Macy’s employee discount and no sales tax, both would cost just over $20 (WINNING). I put on the bra and tried on the dress and viola it smoothed me out and made me look a little smaller. I loved the dress and the flow making it feel flapper-esque plus the color was absolutely fab. I’d just have to decided on shoes and accessories. After making my purchase and watching an impromptu lingerie fashion show, I headed downstairs to see if my contacts at Louis Vuitton were working because I had a client interested in making a pre-sale and wouldn’t it be AWESOME to make my first sale while still in NYC. He wasn’t there so I headed back to the hotel. The rain had returned to a drizzle but it was a little colder. I held my coat tight with all the extra weight and walked back to the hotel. I stopped again at the neighborhood wine shop and got a white this time to drink while we got ready for the NYFW week shows we were about to see as part of the Art Hearts Fashion production. I walked along the west side of Grand Central Station and was completely reminded of the opening scene in Before We Go, where Chris Evan’s character tries to help Alice Eve’s character get a cab (I adore this movie and exploring NYC with a stranger and realizing you need to own your shit even when you don’t know the outcome and “being okay with not being okay”). Since the show was in the East Village, I thought for sure we’d go to Szechuan Mountain House for their namesake caldron of soup and then around the corner to Angel’s Share so I could show her this fabulous Japanese speakeasy and we could enjoy a cocktail before the show.
Everywhere I travel, I people watch and make up stories about where they are coming from and where they are going.
We took the 6 and got off at Astor place. It was right outside a Starbucks I had frequented quite often in the past year. We walked along St. Marks and ascended the stairs to the Chinese restaurant. I had totally forgotten how crowded this restaurant gets and in that moment realized I should have made reservations, but in my attempts to see if we could be seating in a timely manner, I went to the hostess station only to be informed it was going to be an hour wait. We didn’t have the time so the next best option was Shake Shack across the street…just kidding. I had been told about Joe’s Pizza at Union Station and only 5 blocks north we walked and talked. I mentioned the demographics of the area with NYU nearby. It was Friday night and the streets, restaurants and bars were overflowing with college students. We got to Joe’s placed our order and as luck would have it, a table freed up. We sat down and started to enjoy our NY style pizza.
I think my eyes rolled to the back of my head in pure delight when a reporter and camera man walked in. She mentioned that the official Twitter account of NJ exclaimed that New Jersey was the pizza capital of the world just in time for national pizza day. She asked if we would share our thoughts. I guess she thought two chicas from NM were New Yorkers…not gonna, I loved it. Later, we found out we made the news.
After our bout with fame, we walked back over the Angel’s Share to see about that cocktail and again I forgot it was Friday night. Grrr!! I did have Sofi peek in and then we grabbed a Lyft to the NYFW venue, Angel Orensanz Foundation. We arrived on the scene and retrieved our press passes. My phone was dying and while I brought my backup portable charger, it seemed it wasn’t charged so when we entered the venue, I set up shop in the corner borrowing Sofi’s charging cord and plugging it into the wall outlet. I stood back and soaked it all in. From the formal gowns to the everyday wear to the street wear. There was something for everyone. I photobombed at every opportunity and exhaustion was starting to set in. Sofi wandered around the venue taking photos and seeing if she could vye for space in the photographers rafters.
We took our seats about 45 minutes later. This was the first time Sofi had been on this side of the runway shows and for me, this is where fashion week began for me, as an attendee. I do miss producing my show but it was nice to just enjoy it with an attendee’s perspective.
The three designers in this block told their own story which I loved. I thoroughly enjoy when you can see a vision, context and a narrative in a cohesive collection.
As we talked, I watched it from my designer perspective and Sofi watched it through her modeling perspective. I was happy to see Hunter in the audience. She modeled for me on a couple of occasions and was featured in my designs in the December 2018 issue of British Vogue.
The show wrapped up close to 11pm and it was our last night in town…that fact was starting to set in and honestly, was depressing. We thought maybe we’d get a night cap but then stumbled upon a corner wine and spirits shop we went in and decided bubbles would be the best way to celebrate another phenomenal evening. I loved the character and personality of the shop.
We grabbed an Uber and made our way back north to our hotel. We stopped at the counter and asked for a cookie on our last evening the staff gave us TWO each. We headed upstairs got comfortable and talked and talked until after 2am. At that point I knew I wasn’t going to make it back to Macy’s or to the jewelry shops in the morning and thought about plan “B” (5 miles walked).
one last glimpse of my fav building
I woke close to 10am and before I forgot, I sent KK, who was house sitting for me and picking me up from the airport, my list of items I’d need to change in the car on the way to the convention center for La Noche Encantada. I reached out to my event partner in crime, Lee, and double checked she had everything needed to get our booth set. I jumped into the shower and tried how I was going to pack my already full carry-on suitcase and carry-on tote with the additional two dresses, bag filled with goodies and boxed treats from Louis Vuitton…time to sit on my suitcase. I made it work and had one additional carry-on tote. Luckily, Sofi was checking both her bags so I asked if she wouldn’t mind carrying on my tote. She graciously obliged. We arrived at the airport with our first stop in Dallas, TX. Luckily, we didn’t have to switch planes and could move up to easy accessible seats off the plane.
We arrived 10 minutes earlier than our scheduled time. KK was there to pick me up with and I changed in the car. I arrived at the venue 10 minutes before the opened the doors for dinner. As I was walking through the event talking with people, I was inspired to see the fashion. Especially those that I personally dressed. I loved hearing the comments from friends who had been following my adventures via Instagram and Facebook and their surprise to see me. We had a lovely evening going from dinner to the entertainment to the dance party after and boy, did we dance. After tearing down the step and repeat and pulling together all our goodies, Lee gave me a ride home. I fell into a deep sleep when my head hit the pillow. It was after 3am EST (20,000 dance steps).
Every day I try to spend time journaling what I am grateful for. On this trip, I am grateful for:
$5.20 cost for a round trip ticket
an empty row on the red-eye
early check-in
beautiful weather in NYC in February
spending time with friends–long-time and new ones
walk-able cities
taking a chance for new opportunities (and remembering to not play small)
being reminded that I am in the right place
food that nourishes the soul
dance floors
Today, as I complete this post, invitations are still coming in for shows this week…next year, I will stay for the entire week (I say that every year). I love that I’ve shown so many loved ones my New York. I’m totally down for anyone else that wants to go…just know I’m kind of non-stop, except for shopping and a cocktail. I like to walk and plans are totally fluid. Thanks for following along on another Ms. Adventure and remember life is a gift…enjoy it to the fullest!
“Here’s to the ones that we got Cheers to the wish you were here, but you’re not ‘Cause the drinks bring back all the memories Of everything we’ve been through”
Memories – Maroon 5
It is the last day of 2019, the last year of the aughts. Tonight many will celebrate, others will head to bed early, and some will simply be glad to be alive. I remember feeling the later going into the year. If I recall correctly, I watched the NYC countdown and slept on the couch since my furbabies didn’t like the loud noises that come with the celebrations. I was so ready to move on to 2019 and through my post, Thank You, Next, I wrote about my life learnings in 2018 and gratitude for those that helped me survive the year.
As hard as it is to believe, I was a little uninspired. It happens. I knew I needed to make some changes. So as I thought of the new year, I chose to focus on…
NYC–If I wanted to be in New York, I needed to purposefully work toward it.
My passion–I needed to be courageous in what sets my heart on fire.
My happiness–I wanted to smile more.
I immediately did a few things. I reached out to friends and asked them through the month of January, when something stopped them in their tracks with inspiration, to send a photo of it to me. I was in desperate need of an inspiration infusion and I wasn’t feeling it on my own. To move closer to NYC, I changed my number to a 917 area code. I needed to focus on me: reading, yoga, and I thought I’d give Keto a whirl. I had a bad case of wanderlust. Travel feeds my sanity and I made a vow to travel as often as I could make it happen.
I started with the reading and the gift card given to me my dear friend, Lori. I started with purchasing, another journal/calendar, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, Daring Greatly by Brene Brown, Outliers by Malcom Gladwell, and On the Shortness of Life by Senecca. These were the perfect kickstarters to living the life I wanted to live this in 2019. I ate up each word…so much so that I went on to purchase, Braving the Wilderness, by Brene Brown, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, and to feed my NYC fix, Fashion Climbing by Bill Cunningham and Fifth Avenue, 5 A.M. by Sam Wasson. I was also given the book, Hug Your Customers by Jack Mitchell by one of my Macy’s clients, whom I’ve built a relationship after helping put together her son’s groomsmen’s outfits for the wedding.
Friends and family hated eating with me because I took Keto to heart. Each and every day, I started with yoga (Yoga with Adrienne is FABULOUS), slowly incorporating Madfit and then running, yes, running (I know hard to believe because I hate it so).
A friend offered a travel voucher that was to expire in May and another offered a couch anytime I visited NYC (he didn’t know what he was offering to woman that would find any excuse to visit her soul town). Around that same time, I was asked to show in LA Fashion Week and invited by the Tory Burch Foundation to attend a women’s entrepreneurial event in NYC. As anxious as I was, I made them both work within 24 hours of each other. At the time I was being recruited by Macy’s for my current role. I tell people it is everything I loved about the boutique and my work in community relations but with the corporate support and throughout the interview process, I asked, “Is there a path to NYC with this role” and time-and-time again was assured there is.
As with every year, I have learned many lessons and grown. This year was no different. Here are my key learnings.
“You think you’re all bad or what?”
When we choose to do something outside of the social norms, this is the common response, or maybe it is if you grow up in the north valley/Alameda or are a woman pursuing her dream. There was a post my dear friend, Kristen, shared. It said something to the affect, and I’m paraphrasing, we celebrate when women are engaged or have a baby but what about celebrating their achievements or accomplishments?
One night in April, I had this conversation. Growing up where I did, pursuing something outside of the norm of getting married, settling for a mainstream M-F role, and having kids, you were chastised. People in and many in my family didn’t understand wanting more. Many times I felt like an outsider because of it. Believe me when I say this, “I don’t believe I am above anyone else. I believe we all deserve to self-actualize. I will help you in anyway I can to help you reach your dreams, but I can’t be around people that make fun or trivialize what I want to do.”
What I FINALLY learned is not to play small. I was recruited by an executive recruiter with Macy’s. I asked for what I was worth for the first time in my 20+ year career. I didn’t undersell myself. It wasn’t because of pride but because of the value and the hard work I would bring to the organization…the passion I bring to my work.
Play is so important to growth
in December 2018, the mermaid resurfaced. As I wrote, It’s the Year of the Mermaid, I was transported back to when I first got this tattoo and how the philosophy of independence, having a voice and having fun/being youthful and how important that is all to me. I think this is more important to me year after year. I think that is why I decided that I needed to get my next tattoo, “La Vita e un Dono” in NYC and serendipitously found the perfect studio along a path I had crossed before when I visited in December, as I wrote about my trip in Escape Mechanisms.
May your faith be stronger than your fear
I was invited to do LAFW in February. That was an easy, “yes”. Fees were waived. I had a voucher for airfare. I had one of my BFF’s offer her place to stay and she and her husband (but most importantly her pup) were okay with me coming in the wee hours of the night. I had my beautiful friends and models say yes to coming out and easily found other beautiful women say they would walk for me. I had a shoe designer offer to provide shoes for the show and a jewelry company provide accessories. London Fashion Week was different. I’d have to get a passport. I’d be traveling to a foreign country on my own. I’d have to pay thousands of dollars to help produce the show. I’d have to find models with no budget. Yet, “when you really want something the universe conspires to help you get it” (paraphrased from the Alchemist, by Paulo Coleho…read it again this year). I had friends and family come out in full force to help. I found it cheaper to fly into NYC then into London. I had that offer with couch during my stay. I owe so many for their support and still I was anxious. I decided after a night of wine and booking a flight that I would continue onto Paris, just for a day. I did so much pleading to the only person I knew could converse in French for me to join me, but he wasn’t available so I decided to suck it up and figure it out. I took my mini retablos of the Virgin Mary and St. Jude (my patron saint–the patron saint of hopeless causes) I travel. And on the night in NYC before I was taking my international flight, I woke up freezing. It wasn’t because the air conditioner was on or that I was catching a cold. I believe I was breaking my fear.
I thrived. I found beautiful models whom were from England, another who jumped of a plane and took an uber from the airport to the venue, from the US, Russia and Spain. I explored and found “my sunshine” two doors down and was reminded that I was in the right place. I arrived in Paris and fell in ABSOLUTE LOVE with the the city and found happiness discovering life on my own. You can read about my Ms. Adventures on this trip in Crazy Beautiful Life.
Profound Grief will ALWAYS be adjacent
I lost my mom, June 22, 1996. I was in NYC and at the Mermaid Parade June 22, 2019 and as much fun as it was, I was still reeling because I didn’t get up early enough to go and pray at mass and as much fun as I was having she never left my thoughts. On the night of the anniversary before Jennifer died, I was writing about her and the past 365 Days, and reaching out to friends all over the country and asking where was the most beautiful place they traveled to and why….AND WHY because I wanted to be reminded that in my immense grief, that I knew I would succumb to in the next day that there was still beauty in this world. And on her birthday, I received a text message from her daughter asking to create a dress for her for an upcoming special event. Talk about making me smile with tears streaming down my face. YOU CAN NOT FEEL LOSS IF YOU HAVEN’T FELT LOVE. I’m sorry that’s just the way it is. And, whether it is one year or 23 years, it will always be adjacent to your happiness as if a little bit of something is missing.
You are the KEY to your own happiness
While I hope you find there are so many people in your life that add to your happiness. Your happiness is dependent upon you ALONE…no one should have that power over you.
As I discovered through, Sichuan Soup (if you really want to read this one, you’ll need to ask for the password and I’ll share it, it’s just not public), happiness is yours and yours alone. Smile often. I love when I’m walking through Macy’s and someone tells me they love my smile (however, I get a little weirded out when someone tells me, “You’re gorgeous”…and I realize I’m wearing my name tag).
Remember you make your own happiness. No one can do that for you and it’s not fair for you to put that on them, Ricky Bobby!!
Have the courage to be imperfect
“Anything you lost by being honest, you never really had”, that was a HARD lesson for me this year. I had lost my share of fans. I lost a marriage of 20 years but I was shocked to my core when I lost a friendship of 30+ years by being vulnerable and honest in questioning a few things that didn’t feel right. While a good lesson, it was UBER painful. A big growth period for me was learning to ask questions when something wasn’t right instead of assuming I was thinking too much about something. And what I think I learned most about this lesson was to listen to what the other person was saying and try to understand or empathize in their struggle. I wrote about vulnerability and courage and what real friendship means in the Policy of Truth. What one of my favorite Social Researchers, Storytellers, Writers–Brene Brown highlighted for me was the fact that there is some major courage found in being vulnerable because you are going into a situation where there aren’t any guarantees about the outcome.
Take the photo whether or not you smile like Chandler
I have always been one to shy away from photos. When I was at Cardinal Health, I would always use the excuse that I was the one behind the camera. When I was at Runway Apparel it was encouraged that I needed be in front of the camera. I’m not going to lie. The camera doesn’t love me. I have major Chandler smile…it takes several photos, cropping and sometimes filters for me to get the right photo. When Jennifer died, I realized the last photo I had of the two of us together was 3 years old and it hit me. I want photos of and with people I love. I know take tons of photos. I may not post them, but I have them near and dear to me. Here are some of my favorites from the past year:
And because I can’t do anything without music, here is my photo slide show. Thank you for being a part of my life in 2019:
So what I gained in 2019:
to love with my whole heart EVEN when there is no guarantee
that I have added London Fashion Week and Elle UK and NO cigarettes in my hair from Paris to my portfolio (and working on SS21 Paris Fashion Week)
to take every opportunity presented to you, but don’t undersell yourself, “yes, you are all bad y todo”
that life is a gift and that was engraved in NYC this year
What I lost:
30 lbs even after the holidays (yay Keto)
something that wasn’t mine afterall
Fear (FINALLY….I don’t know what took me so long but it did)
I spent NYE with friends at a fabulous event hosted by the Hyatt and designed my friend, George. At one of the speakeasys, I sat for a Tarot Card reading. I pulled three cards:
The Donkey for my past The Journey for my present The Passion for my future
I was told the donkey symbolized some mistakes I made in my past (totally resonated as I am stubborn and sometimes jumping into things without fully thinking through). The journey is the path I am currently on and as long as I don’t get fixated on the unimportant things or people/situations that I have no control over (which I know I do and end up getting me off course), I will definitely my true passion. It gave me chills as it was all things I already knew in my heart but when someone tells you bluntly to your face, you tend to listen a little more intently. I am not going into 2020 with PERFECT VISION. I know I will have a lot to learn but instead, I will be roaring into the year and enjoying it 1 day at a time for each of 365 days. I am also carrying J’adore with me this year. Love for myself, those I come in contact with, and in what I do.
With light and much LOVE,
Dara Sophia Romero (I guess I better learn French)
I was introduced to NYC for the first time in December 2005. I was hooked. I tease that I’m a junkie and New York is my crack…it’s really not a joke. I am currently working my butt off because part of the deal with my current position is a path to the Empire State, Gotham, the Big Apple…my soul.
The city during the holiday season is simply, magical. The population swells so if you get claustrophobic or have issues with personal space and waiting, I’d say just read my blog vs visiting, but if you really want to see how different cultures share their holiday spirit, then book your trip (and if you need a tour guide, I’m always in).
In 2005, I planned the trip, staying at the quintessential Waldorf Astoria. The plans included a Knicks game, the Lion King, the Rockettes, a trip to the Statue of Liberty, and dinner at Tavern on the Green. While the trip also included baggage being lost by the airline, our room given away and getting lost a few times, it was still an absolutely dream worthy trip. So many times I was stopped by people looking for directions, and in that moment I knew I was part of that city.
From that date forward, I continued to visit NYC…for business…for fashion week…for my fix. It was December 2016, after my divorce that I decided I needed to go back for holiday wonder. I had a friend who worked for Jet Blue at the time and would offer her discount to me when ever I wanted to go. I had it planned out. I’d take the red-eye one night, arrive around 5:30am, hit all my inspirational spots and fly out that evening at 8pm. I was hesitant to book the trip until a few days before because it seemed the weather wasn’t going to be cooperative. When I realized I needed to just go and deal with the weather, she had left her job and I only went that year in my dreams, but I wrote all about it like I was there.
I decided I would never again wait for the right opportunity to go to NYC. I would go at every opportunity presented to me. So in 2017, I took my babes for the first time during the holidays. I had originally planned to make it a longer trip but due to work travel it was a long weekend. Yet it was incredible to see it for the first time through Isaiah’s eyes. He was hesitant to go, thinking it would be overwhelming (and it totally is) but he loved the energy just as I do. He got to see his first musical, Aladdin, and at the time musical theater was such an important time of his life. We hit the museums, the window displays and all the fabulous food. Because the timing of our visit, we stumbled upon a Hanukkah RV parade…yes, exactly that…cruising down the Avenue of the Americas. They were in as much awe as I was the first time the city shared it’s holiday glory with me.
In 2018, after what was a shit year, I had enough points that my flight and hotel was covered and I decided, “what the hell I am going to go for a day and a half”. Viewing my feed in Instagram, I realized a dear friend was in the city with her daughter and I reached out with the hopes that maybe we could grab a drink and catch up. As fate would have it, we met for drinks and dinner and had the loveliest conversation catching up after several years apart. Don’t you love when you feel so comfortable with someone that you jump back into a friendship like not one day has passed, thank you Maria.
In October this year, I started thinking, “could I make a trip work in the height of the retail season.” I stopped that thought as quickly as I put it out there knowing this is my city and even if I flew in one day and out the next it would be what I would need. There were several things I wanted to do…a mountain list, but doable if I planned it right. So, I booked my red-eye flight on Saturday, December 14 which mean I would arrive at approximately 6am on Sunday, December 16 to 6pm when I probably should be back at the airport. So I would have 36 hours minus sleep for this trip. I found my inexpensive flight and a room to match. I know how to travel on next to nothing.
The days and weeks and months blended together because that’s what happens this time of year in retail. I hadn’t given much thought to my trip until the weekend before when one of my BFFs asked what I was going to do. I responded with my list.
It was a tall order, but definitely worth doing. I packed the morning of my trip, went to work (I was already over 40 hours for the week), worked another 8 hours and did a volunteer shift at Albuquerque Little Theater for It’s a Wonderful Life. This really got me in the mood for my trip…Herald Square, Christmas, magical New York City, oh and those NYC accents, boy oh boy I was ready. It was fun volunteering side-by-side with Laura, Debi and Lee and I love this story. It’s all about believing…“Faith is believing something when common sense tells you not to.” It’s about NYC and about Macy’s. I was smiling throughout and enjoyed it fully. I was so grateful to Lee who offered to drop me off at the airport afterward. When we were exiting the show, I received an alert that the flight was delayed and my departure time had moved out from 11:40pm to 1:21am. I knew it was going to be a long night.
When I got to the airport, there was no one going through the TSA line with me. One of the agents asked when my flight was departing, I had mentioned the time and he said, “Really, a couple before you said it had been moved out to 3:30am.” I kind of wanted to cry. When I got to the gate, I found out how true that statement was. Exhaustion hit me so I sat at a table where I could charge my phone, pulled out my neck pillow and made a make shift sitting bed. I maybe got an hour of sleep. We started boarding the plan about 2:30am. As luck would have it, or my guardian angel, I ended up not having anyone sit in my row, so I moved to the center, strapped on my seat belt, and made that row my bed. I think I slept three of the 3 and a half hours. We arrived about 9:15am. I had planned to take a super shuttle to my hotel since it was the more inexpensive option that Lyft or Uber, but just the day before, I had read on LinkedIn that they were closing up shop and when I looked at the app to try and book, that one-way trip was going to cost $134 vs. the $20 I had been accustomed to, so I booked a Lyft and waited outside the terminal doors for its arrival. It was cool and breezy.
As we made our way into the city, the trek didn’t seem as long as it had in the past and I made it to the hotel within 30 minutes. My friend, Amanda, whom I had hoped to have dinner with in NJ on Sunday night, had sent me a text the night before stating she was actually going to be in Manhattan until about 1pm with a group of friends. This was perfect! I could see her and her husband, Andy, and not have to take a train (nor see the ginormous rats in the station) to NJ…time saved. As I reached my hotel, I was saying a few Our Father’s and one or two Hail, Mary’s. I really wanted to get into my hotel room and shower before hitting the pavement to see her.
Still praying under my breath, I walked up to the reservation counter. It wasn’t too busy, I had arrived before check out, just a little past 10am. I walked up and a woman by the name of Arlene welcomed and asked how she could help me. I explained to her about my predicament and asked if there might be a room available for me to check into (I had actually called the day before and whomever I spoke to couldn’t guarantee early check-in because the hotel was full). Arlene did some investigating and found me a room. It wasn’t my requested room with a king bed but honestly I didn’t care. After, she explained the amenities, an easier way to access free wi-fi and making sure my points were properly captured for this stay, she pointed out the elevator and my room info. I thanked her profusely for her excellent service and made my way upstairs. I got to my room. Opened my suitcase, which I over packed (I think I actually packed less for LFW than I did for this 1.5 days. lol). Pulled out my outfit and jumped into the shower. I knew if I sat down I would crash, plus Amanda and Andy were only in the city until 1pm.
Arriving late into NYC, cut three hours out of my stay. Jet Blue compensated me with a $75 credit which I know I’ll be back in February…but still, I would have 3 less hours to do what I needed to. Anywho, I stepped out into the sunny but cold NYC day around 11am. I was staying at Park and 33rd and I was meeting Amanda at Columbus Circle, so walking up 5th Ave would get me into the heart of all the warm and fuzzies found in the holiday windows.
As I walked past 34th, I turned to my left and caught America’s department store…I had planed to stop by after my time with Amanda. I walked past the Lions donned with wreaths at the NYC Public Library.
I walked up to Saks the north side were fabulously fashionable. I took a few shots but because the sun was in full force the images weren’t as clear as I had hoped. As I reached the front of the store, I wanted to throw up a little bit in my mouth….really, Frozen was theme this year (not. my. favorite.)?!? I didn’t take pictures. I was annoyed. I walked on. I got to St Patrick’s Cathedral and it was Sunday during advent and the lines were vast so I carried on. I saw a few more windows on store fronts before reaching Tiffany and again I was disappointed. There wasn’t anything incredibly imaginative only a few mice playing with jewels. I crossed the street because I knew Bergdorfs wouldn’t disappoint.
And I was right, it was all fun and games and I LOVED it. It was luxurious, colorful and breathtaking. Again, because I couldn’t take proper photos because the reflection, but I was happy for the sunshine and not having bitter cold. I walked by the Plaza Hotel and the line that was waiting to enter and crossed 59th to walk along Central Park. I hadn’t run since just after Thanksgiving and I kind of craving it (but don’t tell anyone). I walked along the road listening to my Somewhere Around Midnight playlist on Spotify through the earbuds in my ears when Whiskey by Red Light Cameras came on. I strutted down the cobble stoned lane. In my look that was a mixture of Christmas, Gwen Stefani and Punk with my red plaid and faux leather pants with gold chain running from my pocket, combat boots, puffed sleeve black sweater, vintage black faux fur coat and over sized vibrant red scarf, I was part of my city. When I walk the streets of NYC, I strut like I own the city. The city energy feeds me and I play off it to my advantage but because I was walking on the cobble stone walkway, I also paid attention because I knew I would also trip like the big uncoordinated Ms Congeniality that I am.
I arrived at Columbus Circle and sent a text to Amanda to let her know. The holiday fair was great but I wanted to find her first. She mentioned that they had moved to the Market in the train station but when I descend, all I saw were trains so I ascended to the street and called her. She said to cross the street and enter the train station entrance near the Shops of Columbus Circle. I was having deja vu as I hadn’t been there since June 22nd after a wonderful day at the Mermaid Parade and surreal evening in this neighborhood. I descended the staircase and there she was right around the corner. I smiled and walked up. I don’t think she recognized me immediately as I was wearing my glasses. We embraced and walked back to the bar where they were having cocktail. I gave Andy and big hug and was introduced to the rest of their friends. It was a quaint bar where Christmas had exploded all over the ceiling and walls (hot glued Christmas balls–it was magical). We took seats at the bar and started to catch up immediately. She wanted to hear about my new job. I wanted to hear about her daughter’s wedding. I had maybe 4 hours the night before, had just walked 2 miles and had worked an approximate 50 hour week…I was wondering if I should order a coffee or a cocktail at 11:30am and then I remembered I’m in FUCKING New York City. I ordered a New York je t’aime. Seemed appropriate…although, I thought the Jameson, Elderflower, Orange Blossom might knock me out.. We talked about life and everything in between. We talked about my travels. She mentioned how courageous I am. I smiled. We ordered another round and about an hour later we decided they needed to head back to Port Authority. I asked if I could walk with them as I was headed to Hudson Yards next.
We walked, talked, and laughed. It was so good to see them again. We did our tourist thing in Times Square and I think I convinced them to visit NM in May (fingers-crossed). We took our touristy photo and walked on to Port Authority. I gave them hugs and told them I’d reach out in the coldest month and probably the coldest day for dinner in NJ. I THOROUGHLY enjoy my time with them.
I walked on to Hudson Yards, since it’s opening last Spring, I had read all about this luxurious urban work, live, play neighborhood and I had it on my list to check out. I first headed out to the vessel (because I hadn’t gotten enough steps in yet and thought I should walk 5 stories). However the line was way too long and what, you have to pay for entrance, I was totally turned off by this but still got a cool photo. I walked into the Hudson Yards “mall” and it was basically, a mall with high-end stores. I left as quickly as I could find my way out. Instead, I decided to head east to “my” department store. I arrived with the masses and walked in with awe as I normally do.
Macy’s saved me during my Christmas trip in 2005, when American Airlines had lost my baggage and not wanting to miss the Knick’s game we stopped by for pj’s and unmentionables (ok, undies) just before midnight. Macy’s DTLA provided the electricity, table and chair for me to sew my impromptu look for Los Angeles Fashion Week in October 2016 and Herald Square inspired me (along with a call urging me to take the Personal Stylist position earlier this year, in April). I walked in to the grandeur of Herald Square with Dream and Believe in my forefront. If you’ve never been, it’s a little overwhelming and exciting at once. I didn’t know where to start, but then realized how much I love the Benefit Brow Bar so in shooting my shot, I walked over and asked if they were taking any walk up appointments. They were and in that moment I knew it was meant to be.
https://youtu.be/-TZGtPNJkbg
With my brows on point, I walked up to the Story level. What I love about this concept is that it is made up of products and businesses that have a story (I keep tormenting local businesses and artists to submit their ideas…one day, I hope they take me up on it because it really is a cool concept). I really didn’t have time, need or room in my suitcase for much more than I bought, I decided to head back to my hotel which was a few blocks away. I still had planned to get my tattoo and grab drink at a quintessential speak easy and it was already 5:00pm…but first I wanted to see the windows. I loved this year’s theme: “Santa Girl”. It reminded me of my own journey…they will say, “no” and you will say, “YES”. We can all be what we determine we want to be, even when the world says, “no”. Think of Greta Thunberg, who has been mocked for her convictions in saving the planet. The only thing I was disappointed about was the fact that there was no Salvation Army outside the Herald Square entrance…no dancing, no singing, no bell ringing this year.
My stomach started to rumble so I remembered that there was one of my fav places a block up…I stopped by Shake Shack because that’s where I nosh when in town. I got the bun-less bacon burger with cheese and bacon and cheese fries–don’t judge, I had already walked 4.5 miles. I returned to my hotel, nourished my body and changed. I was missing a party hosted by my friend, Shannon. However, I told her I’d dress in the theme of blue, white and silver…so I opted for a little Hopeless + Cause Atelier. I wore flowy, loose clothing because I knew I’d be exposed for my next destination. I called for a Lyft and headed down stairs.
I got my first tattoo when I turned 20 and wanted to get my 2nd when I turned 40. Years past and other things came up, but this year I was determined to get it and get it in NYC. After months of searching for the right place and price point, I found the one. As I arrived in my Lyft at Three Kings Tattoo, it was more than Deja Vu. I had been there before. Not in the tattoo shop, but I had walked through the park on a warm Sunday night in June talking about the Netflix original, Russian Doll, and how the show was set in the East Village and that park had be used several times in the show. I learned the history. We had a drink in the bar on the corner, Maiden Lane, where I was told I was the “sweetest person” over and over. And here I was next door to get a sweet and dainty, “la vita é un dono” tattoo with a bow. I had stayed a few nights only a few blocks away this past year and yet, I came to find this tattoo parlor, not by that resident but by a colleague who had posted the wicked tattoo he had gotten a month or so back. That Instagram post prompted me to research the business and the artists. I had found that the rates were much more reasonable than the others I had found in the area and Brooklyn. They were super responsive to all my questions and I could stop by for a walk up appointment which was super important to me since my plans were fluid this trip.
I arrived just after 6:30pm and was told that I’d be on the table about 7:30pm. I was told that I could come back at that time, but not from the area and dark, I opted to sit my booty on the couch and wait. Exhaustion started to set in and I started to nod my head in an attempt to sleep. My second tattoo reminded me of child birth, it sounds great until it actually happens and you remember all the pain that occurs with the act. I sat patiently 2nd in line until my tattoo artist, Ana, asked me what I’d like. I showed her my sketch told her where I wanted it and what the saying meant. She took it back, sketched it out and came back for approval. After a few edits, we were set.
I actually didn’t climb the tattoo table until 8:30pm. I took off my top, laid on my side, raised my arm over my head and stretched my leg out to create a smooth canvas for her to create. She went to work. I cringed and at moments jumped when a nerve was hit. My nails dug into the table and I know I ground my teeth and in about 45 minutes it was complete. My tense muscles prevented me from jumping up, instead slowly ascending to a seated position then descending from the table I dressed and admired my new decoration and reminder about life and living. Full of adrenaline, I opted not to go to the speakeasy as it was now 9:45pm instead I grabbed a Lyft back to the hotel. I went upstairs and decided I needed to see the Bryant Park tree and Rockefeller Square in the glory of night, so I started west on 33rd as I turned on 5th the wind hit me and I knew I was not up for the cold. I headed back toward my hotel and as I turned the corner on 34th, I was greeted by, “FUCK, it’s cold.”, by a stranger. At first startled, I then laughed. As he apologized, I agreed with him and went on my way to a Duane Reade to get snacks and a bottle of wine. They didn’t sell wine and I wasn’t interested in spending $10 on a small bag of nuts, so I headed to the hotel bar for a drink. After I warmed up, I went up to my hotel room, undressed and watched, “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”. I had already planned to watch episode 9 with the fam upon my return, so I thought it would be a nice build up to fall asleep to. And fall asleep, I did.
I woke the next morning around 8am. It’s cray how well I sleep in NYC. However, I woke with a scratch in my throat, so I opted for hot, steamy shower and then after I dressed, I headed back to the Duane Reade for vitamin A and EmergenC. I also bought a gift card for Arlene, who really kickstarted this trip. I ran across the street to Starbucks for a medicine ball…I was trying to stave off a cold any way possible. After I dropped off my bags and the gift card, and explained to Arlene how grateful I was to her for her customer service, I headed north to St. Patrick’s Cathedral. This holy space is my constant when I visit. There has been only two times that I haven’t made the trek when I’ve visited. At that time, I also received a notification about a reservation opening up for the Blue Box Cafe at Tiffany’s. I had been trying to get in for the past month and every time I received the notification, I was too late and the reservation had been given to another patron. I was so happy I was going to be able to enjoy this treat because as I found out the restaurant was going to be going through a remodel for the next year as well as the entire Tiffany and Co on 5th Ave (I had been reading, Fifth Avenue, 5 A.M., by Sam Wasson and was really intrigued to fulfill this wish). About 20 minutes later, I arrived for mass and sat back and enjoyed my participation in it. The music, the word, the beauty before me. I arrived when confession was in session and I pondered the thought of it, but time was of the essence.
After mass, I headed across the street for the tree at Rockefeller Center. It was crowded and filled with joy, wonder, and selfies. I took my photo and then did a little shopping. I headed to the garment district next.
On 11/11 I received a text from a beautiful young women, whose momma’s birthday was on this day. She asked me to create a dress for her that she could wear to a wedding and to her eighth grade graduation in 2020. I was honored and floored. I had created for her momma and had told her when she was ready, I would create for her. She was ready. After taking, photos and samples, I headed to my favorite tree in Bryant Park.
It was lightly snowing and it was absolutely magical…everything I needed to fulfill my holiday fantasy. After walking the holiday fair, which I absolutely LOVE, I took my annual photo of the tree and then headed over to Grand Central Station because I wanted to get Truffle oil and honey from The Truffleist. I fell in love with their products in 2017 and decided I wanted to make honey-truffle chicken for dinner on Christmas Eve. As I perused the market at Grand Central Station, I found The Truffleist was no longer offered there so I jumped on the internet to find out were I could purchase their goods and back to Bryant Park I went.
I purchased my goods and it was already 2:30pm and my reservation was for 3pm so I headed north to Tiffany’s. Arriving at 2:45pm, I checked in and was told my table was almost ready, so I looked around the floor until it was 3pm. At that time, I was directed to my quintessential Tiffany Blue table. It was such a treat and I have to thank my friend Sofi for suggesting it. I had the choice of the pre-fix menu for breakfast, lunch or high tea. I opted for lunch with pumpkin soup and poached salmon…all drool-worthy. I paired it with the Tiffany team. About an hour later, I left perfectly sated and sad to head back to the hotel for my ride back to the airport.
The entire afternoon, I kept getting the “once over”. I wore a cream colored over-sized sweater with distressed jeans and over the knee sandy suede boots and my faux fur coat and red scarf…but the one thing that didn’t fit the outfit was the Nintendo Store bag with Mario on it. As I was walking back, I was stopped at the light on Park and somewhere near 33rd and a man turned to me asking, “Did you wake up on the right side of the bed?”. I responded, saying, “Excuse, me?”. He said, “Your whole look is incredible. I hope you’ve had a great day because you look like you woke up on the right side of the bed.” Because I’m oblivious to compliments like this, it took me a minute to respond and as I said thank you, he walked down the road. It was such a sweet way to leave the city.
Within the next half hour I was on a Lyft back to JFK, once again feeling so full of joy, wonder, and gratefulness to be back in the place I love so very much. I had approximately 45 minutes until my flight would board so I opted to grab a glass of bubbles to cheer this trip. As I sat down and my glass was presented to me, I was reminded of something. She is always around even when I’m not looking (do you see her–2019 is the year of the mermaid). I smiled and raised my glass to la vita é in dono. The only Debbie Downer moment is that I think I caught a cold from the guy behind me who kept exclaiming, “I’m not sick. I only have a cough” (as he kept hacking up a lung, sneezing and sniffling). UGH…still worth it. When I landed, I looked at my phone to see it was 11:11pm and I smiled.
As I complete this blog on my momma’s birthday, I am reminded the importance to live your life. Find joy. Enjoy wonder. Find happiness. Sometimes you have to escape to be reminded of this. Life is short. You only die once; you live every day. Enjoy life to the fullest–la vita e un dono. Wishing you a Happy Chanukah and Merry Christmas.
Vulnerability by Brene Brown popped up two days after I shared my blog and it speaks to me whole-heartedly. What resonated most is being courageous and the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees.
Chances are when said and done Who’ll be the lucky ones who make it all the way? Though you say I could be your answer Nothing lasts forever no matter how it feels today
Chances, Five for Fighting
On this eve of Thanksgiving, I’ve spent the evening contemplating the past year and what I’m grateful for. There are so many things…the people who have been woven in my life, the opportunities bestowed upon me, the new places I’ve been and the goals I’ve accomplished and all that is in front of me for the coming year if I have the courage to go after it. I’ve watched The Blindside as I have done ritually for years…and UGLY CRYING…because there is nothing more beautiful than the unconditional love of a mother. As I’ve stated before, my astrological sign is Cancer, a water sign…I openly wear my heart on my sleeve and sometimes to my detriment. For me, it is important to give my all in relationships. I then moved on to watching all the Friends Thanksgiving episodes because they play out my comical life as holistically as it is. It is snowing in Central New Mexico and I’ve decided to update this blog while listening to Five for Fighting and really listening to the words and how they relate. I am thankful for everything that has occurred to me in the past year. And again I am reminded of the relationships that were filled with love, lessons and/or laughter. I think the greatest gift that I am grateful this year is the power of communication. While unfortunately, openly and honestly communicating with loved ones doesn’t seem to always fall in line with the way you’d hope it would. However, I truly believe if you are honest with how you feel, you should not feel bad for saying what needs to be said.
Sometimes the greatest way to say something is to say nothing. But I can’t…
Say Something – Justin Timberlake feat. Chris Stapleton
“I’ve learned more about you from this last communique than in the past few decades that I’ve known you and especially more than the last year where I thought we really connected…more than the late night and early morning conversations about fears, love, goals and loss, more than the dinner conversations filled with laughter and admiration, and more than the walks through life that included conversations of randomness, yet were filled with meaning and insight.
I’m more than a bird, I’m more than a plane I’m more than some pretty face beside a train And it’s not easy to be me I wish that I could cry Fall upon my knees Find a way to lie About a home I’ll never see
Superman – Five for Fighting
And in saying this, I take back what I said. I don’t ‘wish you the best that life has to offer’. I actually wish you get to experience life to the fullest. I hope you get to experience it all, including, the heart break that comes from being completely vulnerable and honest with someone you care about. And in response, I hope you receive no empathy, no understanding and no common ground to work from, but instead are told the memories and experiences you created together aren’t worthy of being remembered or sacred.
I don’t say this to be cruel. I say this because I hope that experience carves you into a softer person, a human being, because words once said, can’t be taken back. So in wishing this, I hope in the future you understand the impact of what you say and choose to think through the words you use wisely, so they don’t damage the next person who thought you cared.”
Words like violence Break the silence Come crashing in Into my little world Painful to me Pierce right through me Can’t you understand
Enjoy the Silence – Depeche Mode
Words: they can be used to elevate someone and they can be used as a weapon to tear someone completely apart. They can be used to help move through darkness as these did in this middle of the night stream of consciousness. I have been writing my stream of consciousness, through this blog, for over three years. My free flow narrative has been about my experiences with people, places, what has happened in my world and my understanding, interpretation of the outside world… and how it has influenced my design aesthetic. It is MY explanation of life. I decided to share my words, thoughts, loves, loathes and fears with those around me. I don’t have an English degree. My posts are not always grammatically correct and spelling faux pas dot each blog. At times, I use choice words filled with emotion. I have not been adverse to calling out injustices or sharing really happy and heartbreaking moments. At one point, my attorney suggested that I not be so honest and open about my words (or at least out in the open). But as a child, being suppressed in ways to verbalize what I needed to say, I found writing to be my medium of choice. I have not felt regret for what I’ve said, instead I have grown to live by the rule that the best way to live life is to be honest about how you feel. When I am high on emotion, I write it out, leave it for a day and then go back and re-read it. I ask myself, “Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?” It is always my truth. When I have sought understanding, in many instances, I have found it is necessary.
Things get damaged Things get broken I thought we’d manage But words left unspoken Left us so brittle There was so little left to give
Precious – Depeche Mode
I haven’t been one to not be accused of being emotional. I cry watching videos of military parents returning home and surprising their kids. I choked back tears when I saw my BFF so distraught after learning of the unexpected death of her her friend, even though we had never met. Tears stream down my face with the biggest smile when I outfit women who have lost weight and for the first time are wearing that “little black dress” that I knew would hug their body in all the right places and saw in their eyes how beautiful they felt. Yet, the weeks leading up to this middle of night consciousness, I had felt pensive, melancholy and hollow. There was no deep sadness but instead an emptiness all because I shared my thoughts about the way I felt a relationship had changed. I simply asked the question if something had changed. Instead of receiving the one response I had hoped for–the opportunity to talk about and work out differences–I received two responses from long time friends that I was floored by.
Things could be so different now It used to be so civilised You will always wonder how It could have been if you’d only lied
It’s too late to change events It’s time to face the consequence For delivering the proof In the policy of truth
Policy of Truth – Depeche Mode
The surreal-ness came in the form of not wanting to talk about it but instead choosing to walk away. The other interjecting that this person the reason and creating separation like a business relationship. After all the years of what I thought was a deep friendship and another recently rekindled friendship, it wasn’t what I was expecting, but I respected those choices and wished for the best life has to offer. For a hot second, these responses made me question my value and worth which led to the hollowness of it all. As these responses weighed on me like a ton of bricks, and as I tried to process, I had an epiphany of sorts. I realized that I didn’t wish the best life that life has to offer…I wished the gift of empathy and kindness and love in the purest form of humanity.
As I said, it doesn’t come from a place of cruelty or that I want horrible things to happen, but instead if we put ourselves in the shoes of others before we respond, as these responses came to me, then we might find common ground to build from and not tear down. What I truly found and learned is anything you loose by being honest, you really never had to begin with. While a powerful lesson, it was painful.
I don’t know what the future will bring, whether or not we will be able to reconcile. I do know that it will not prevent me from saying something when I feel things are off. I also know that I choose to relish the wonderful memories and conversations filled with laughter, insight and love and they will be sacred to me. I also hope that my other relationships are strong enough to work through differences and that we aren’t afraid to communicate to find common ground.
Then, I stumbled upon this video segment. I felt compelled to watch it and for the first time, I was sadden by the realization of what is.
“Breathe out so I can breathe you in. Hold you in.”
Everlong – Foo Figthers
The last full day off I had from work was September 30th. And I was like slush, I was non-stop since my trip, coming back to a TV segment, an office grand-opening, appointments meetings and getting Macy’s in front and center at local events, creating an unique H+CA piece for an upcoming hair show and planning a big fashion show.
When was the last time you thought how crazy and wonderful life can be. This evening, I reflected on the past week. Within one week, I got to explore and share my fashion designs in London (while frantically trying to connect with models…and they were perfect); almost missed my flight to NYC; stayed up 30 hours straight laughing, talking and attempting, rather poorly, to sing karaoke and exploring in NYC with a dear friend; almost missed my flight to NM; returned to work to find my gorgeous work space is almost complete (and I had to plan a fun unveiling to celebrate); worked on my next stylist/influencer collaboration; had to be flexible because my tv segment date was brought in by a day yet it worked beautifully, so much so that the regional Vice President gave kudos for the segment using the hashtag #astarisborn; and then tonight I got to have the most lovely gathering with dear friends who are excited for my work and came out to celebrate with me. I know I will crash soon (jet lag and exhaustion will set in) but I am loving this ride soooo much. I believe when you love what you do it shines from your entire being, and when you are surrounded by the right people it’s magnified! Thank you all who have shared your support and love. ?
Oh, poor me, right?!? Nah, I loved all I was doing. I was on a high. However, burning the candle on both ends was getting me to a place I remembered from years before of being in retail. So on the thirtieth, I was a lump. I think I watched a marathon of Gossip Girl, started working on the caged dress and figured out a time that I could take some vacation days.
The next three weeks were even more intense. I was wrapping up the 20 models’ Macy’s looks for the Lovelace Fashion Show, scripting out another TV segment (if you’re interested in seeing the process of a personalized, COMPLIMENTARY, styling appointment with me, watch KASA Fox 2 on Wednesday, October 23rd at 9am during the NM Living Local program), and planning for a trip to Chicago for my gift registry business. I knew I couldn’t take any full days off, so I really started running and doing yoga again to help keep myself in the right frame of mind and my body free from illness and strain (there is a LOT of walking, carrying, lifting and bending in this role). If I could keep those things in check, I knew I would put on my best face for my customers.
It took a lot of organization, balance, EmergenC and a good attitude. And again, I rose to the occasion in doing what I loved while still carving out time for loved ones…which really helped with my attitude. The fashion show ended up being more profound than I originally imaged. I was excited to support this event in honor of friends and loved ones impacted by breast cancer but I found out the Anita Salas Foundation not only provides care and support to breast cancer patients but also cervical cancer (the cancer my mom was originally diagnosed with). I got to style some pretty incredible people, but one was extra special, and I loved seeing her on catwalk. She has the beauty and personality of her momma. ? I left that night full of pride and completely exhausted.
I had planned to take Thursday through Saturday off. However I needed to return all the clothes, shoes and accessories on Thursday and so I scheduled a meeting for the next fun project I’ll be working on. That afternoon when I got home, I knew I was going to stick with taking Friday off, but there was something I had been craving to do since a conversation about chopping wood and being out in the country occurred at dinner in NYC. I had been receiving email after email from Hertz about a free day rental, so I decided I was going to take a day long road trip.
“And now I know you’ve always been Out of your head, out of my head I sang”
Everlong – Foo Fighters
I booked the car. Woke up the next morning, got the keys, plugged in my my phone for my musgic (yes, musgic…that’s what my KK called it when she was learning to speak), got a coffee and hit the road. It was a little blustery on the road but the skies were clear and the landscape beautiful. I left Albuquerque around 9am and planned to stop in Las Vegas at Spic n Span for breakfast and a towering cream puff.
All along the way, I was singing from the top of my lungs and dancing in my seat. I’ve missed road trips. The last one I took was with my mini’s in January when we went to Las Vegas, NV. I arrived around 10:30am and took my seat at the booth. I started with Carne Adovada and eggs. I forget how hard it is to eat New Mexican food on Keto (but knew I’d be hiking later so I forgave myself a bit). If you’ve never been to what’s now known as Charlie’s Spic n Span (old school it’s just Spic n Span), it’s a quintessential New Mexican diner. When I’d travel with my mom, she’d always stop to get the cream puffs. They used to be much smaller but the recipe is still how I remember it. Light and fluffy pastry filled with real whipped heavy cream and dusted with powdered sugar. That delicacy along with the fragrant smell of tortillas coming off fresh from the conveyor belt, reminds me of my childhood and fresh tortillas from my grandma’s kitchen. I relished my meal but left the beans behind. I ordered a cream puff because how could I resist. However, after two bites I was in a sugar coma and couldn’t eat any more, so I packed it up hoping maybe I’d share it later.
I hit the road again and like any small town U.S.A, Las Vegas was dressed for fall and Halloween with so many houses adorned with scare crows and pumpkins. I’ve always loved driving down the main street looking at all the old Victorian and Craftsmen designed homes. As a child, I used to dream of owning one and staying there during the summer time. I then drove by Storrie Lake on the outskirts of Las Vegas. It was unseasonably full, so it made me think that the area received much rain over the summer. For the next 30 minutes I traveled along NM Route 518, listening to my music, enjoying the scenery and staying at or below 60 mph. This area is notorious for state police officers trying to make a point.
I arrived outside our ranch gate after waving at every passerby along the dirt road into the mountains (that’s what you do in Mora). I parked and contorted my body between the barbed wire because I realized I had forgot my gate and the ranch house keys at home. I walked along the dirt road up to the house. I have walked this path hundreds if not thousands of times. As a kid, I would run back and forth from the creek to the house. My brother, cousins and I would race the cars that drove up and ride on the tailgate of trucks driving down this path. The ranch house is almost hidden from this spot and the choke cherry trees line the road. I found clues that that they had been digested by what I’m sure were bears…and I really was hoping I wouldn’t run into any today.
I turned the corner to a familiar jeep and a beautiful, solitary tree whose leaves were as vibrant yellow as the sun. It was stark contrast to the green pines of the background. It swayed every so gently in the wind and would blink at me was the sun struck it’s leaves.
“Come down and waste away with me Down with me Slow how you wanted it to be I’m over my head, out of her head she sang”
Everlong – Foo Fighters
I could have stayed home and totally vegged or did chores or even went to a spa since I still have a birthday gift certificate (sorry, Ang), but being here on this mountain called to me. Talking about chopping wood, how I helped build the bridge and the barn, the sweet earthy smells and sitting in solitude on the side of the mountain looking at the beauty below, I felt that’s what I needed more to get my mind in the right place. I started on the path up to the mountain. I would hike to my rock and then on the way back down, stop at the ojeito to where my mom and grandpo are buried to clean their plots and say a prayer then head back home.
The day was breezy, but mild. The wind through the trees sounded like the ocean waves crashing on the land. The path had been carved out by years of trucks climbing the mountain to that special place or in search of Christmas trees. However it had been lightly covered by pine needles as they shed for the upcoming season. At moments throughout my hike, I would second guess which direction to go, hoping I wouldn’t get lost but instead find what I was looking for.
It was about a half hour hike back and forth between switch backs and steep hills. Before today, I thought I was in pretty decent shape with all the running, yoga and steps in the store I had been doing, but being at an elevation over 7,000 feet and some vertical ascents, I had to pause to take a breath or two (well, maybe more).
The leaves on the oak trees would have fallen perfectly on the autumn color wheel. Lions have been ruminating around in my mind since I saw sculptures and paintings in London, Paris and Chicago. These colors I found perfectly accented that inspiration with the golds, burnt orange, brown and forest green. I am building my vision board for AW20 with these accents. Earlier in the week, I had been approached to show in Paris and Milan Fashion Weeks. So I really had something to ponder!
As I began my last major vertical climb, Unsung by Helmet began to play. It was the motivation I needed to get to the top. I made it and around the corner was my rock and the view to the mountains surrounding me and the beautiful valley below. I sat there pretzel style on the rock and caught my breath just as Fade Into You by Mazzy Star began to play. It was the perfect harmony to how I was feeling in that moment. I took photos of this gorgeous landscape and especially of the sleeping beauty mountain range that looks like a woman sleeping (do you see her?)
I stayed there meditating after taking a few photos and breathing it all in. I began my descent back down. Those pine needles that covered my path now created the right environment to hide loose rocks and serve as banana peels under my feet, so I took it slow. It was the environment reminding me not to rush and to pay attention to everything around me.
I arrived at the ojeito about 20 minutes later. I opened up the gate to the fence that surrounds the burial plots and a tear dropped from my eye. In life it doesn’t matter, if it’s been a year or in the case of my mom, 23 years when someone leaves you, there is a vacancy in your being. There are pieces of me missing with the passing of these loved ones who helped shape the person I’ve become. I cleaned up the leaves and pine needles that covered their headstones said a prayer and asked that they watch over me. I then headed back to the car. All this walking made me thirsty so I grabbed my coffee cup from the car and filled it over and over from the creek water. I still don’t think there is anything as crisp and refreshing than what flows from the snow capped mountains.
I returned to the car and it started to gently rain. It rained when I left London, Chicago and now Mora…hmmm… I’m not sayin’, but just sayin’. I hit the road and decided to return home through the mountains. I took NM 518 through the switch backs, pulling over every so often to play tourist and admire the incredible beauty. I was playing leap frog with a Lexus SUV that was doing the same thing.
I traveled through Tres Ritos and the wind was blowing, ever so lightly, but enough to send the Aspen leaves fluttering about the sky. It was like a thousand Monarch Butterflies were floating through the atmosphere and I thought the NE part of the country has nothing on New Mexico. I drove by Sipapu and a memory came back to me. It was few years ago when Mumford and Sons was playing in Taos. I bought tickets last minute to this sold out concert and ended up renting a room in Sipapu. We arrived there between 1am and 2am and I it was so pitch black (darker than you can imagine…no darker). The key was waiting for me on the side of the building and we entered this little room with no tv and no connectivity. We were in a total dead zone. I thought for sure we were going to be murdered by Michael Myers but instead went to sleep. The next morning we woke up and found what a lovely little ski/summer resort it was (just uber scary at night).
“And I wonder When I sing along with you If everything could ever feel this real forever If anything could ever be this good again The only thing I’ll ever ask of you You got to promise not to stop when I say when
She sang”
Everlong – Foo Fighters
I continued on deciding not to go through Taos but instead taking NM 75 through Penasco. I traveled through these quaint villages trying to make sure I was going the speed limit, but easily got distracted by the beauty surrounding me. I didn’t go through Chimayo this time as I think I took a wrong turn, but instead through Dixon and got stuck in a traffic jam because of paving on the road. I made it through to Espanola. As I passed Espanola, just outside of Pojaque, I noticed police lights going off on the other side of the road. At first I didn’t think they were for me, but I was wrong. I pulled over and the state police officer explained that he clocked me at 67 mph in a 45 mph zone. DOH! I didn’t realize I was going that fast. He asked where I was going and I explained I was returning home. He returned to his truck and what seemed like forever, he came back to my passenger window and said he was giving me a warning. I thanked him and committed to driving the speed limit here on out. Thank the LORD!
I took the relief route in lieu of stopping in Santa Fe. I had plans on Friday evening and didn’t want to be rushed. I can always take the train and escape to Santa Fe. I returned home about 5pm and my mind had been completely refreshed. Sometimes doing absolutely nothing can provide that reprieve, but I needed time to refresh my body with fresh air, beauty of the changing season and of course music and dancing in my seat. As the season begins to change and the craziness I know that is before me, it was nice to reflect on where I come from, where I’m at and where I plan to go…it’s remembering to enjoy the journey.
Feeling my way through the darkness guided by a beating heart I can’t tell where the journey will end but I know where to start
Avicii – Wake Me Up
I just returned from a 10-day, life enhancing Ms. Adventure. If you know me, you know I’m a novelist at heart. While this is a blog, it will be written in short, daily chapters because there is so much yummy goodness to share. I know I am not the first human being to travel solo abroad. My most recent and favorite tale is from Elizabeth Gilbert, who wrote a best-selling novel that was turned into a block-buster movie about her three months in each country: Italy, India and Bali. However, this was my first time traveling abroad and solo. It was a trip of self-discovery, adventure, reaching another level in fashion and finding myself when I didn’t know I was lost. I would suggest that everyone take a solitary trip, even if it’s in your backyard because you will find what is important to you and how to best care for yourself, so you can be better around others.
Also, know my adventures aren’t for the faint of heart, so I will preface it saying, first, I am directionally challenged. If I wasn’t right-handed, I would turn around in circles. You may laugh, but every time I have to determine direction from my left-to-my-right, I raise my hand to “air write” with my right hand and then, lift my other hand to form a “L” to determine my left. This inability is enhanced when I’m underground and can find no landmark to help me understand which direction is what. Second, my other obstacle is being on someone else’s timetable. I think that’s why I enjoy walking everywhere. I get there when I get there. I don’t have to worry about missing the tube, a boat ride or even a flight…these are just a couple of things to keep in mind when reading. This is not a tale about traveling in the lap of luxury. I am not the most graceful traveler, nor do I pretend to be. I stumble, I fall, I don’t have all the right things to say, but I am perfectly imperfect stitched together with good intentions which makes for a fun story. I am a creative in getting out of sticky situations and what stresses out others, is the way I roll sometimes. Oh yeah, and I use curse words when I’m passionate about something or I’ve had too much wine, which both occur in this novela (It’s more than the typical 1500 to 2000 words found in my norm blog, but if you read it through, I promise you will laugh, most likely shake your head and may find some insight in the human psyche). Okay, shall we start? Brilliant!
This Ms. Adventure was Set in Motion, January 2019
I started the year, as most do, with a blank slate. I knew I wanted to leave 2018 behind, really more like, burn that bitch. I could not carry the weight of such an ass kicking that 2018 bestowed on me in the many ways it did. However, my biggest takeaway was that life is too short. When opportunity presents itself, grab it by the hair, pull it in and kiss the shit out of it, so I began the year with changing my number. If I want to be in NYC, I need to envisage it, live it, be it…this was my first step.
Next, the opportunity for a chance to spend a sabbatical in Grottle, Italy came across my email. It was sponsored by AirBNB. Three months in Italy, I thought, would be an incredible experience. Although, I hadn’t been with Prosperity Works for quite a year and I didn’t have enough PTO to cover that period of time, I had an innate urge to apply. I wanted to go somewhere far away from NM and be immersed in another culture and life. I talked about wanting to learn Italian cooking, language and focusing on my writing as I would live in this centuries old village. I almost began an “only in my dreams” blog when I wasn’t selected, but I didn’t do enough research to make it believable (maybe it will be a future blog or maybe it will be a real Ms. Adventure). Why was this significant this year? Because I had a tremendous urge to go somewhere I’ve never been before, to be immersed into something that wasn’t familiar or that I could use others as a crutch in visiting, and I really wanted to finally get my passport and have it stamped (this would give me a definite time frame to do it). When I wasn’t selected this was the universe’s way in telling me, this is not for you.
I decided instead that I would go to NYC when the opportunity presented itself (and I could afford it) starting with NYFW in February. Even though I wasn’t showing, I’m so happy I did. It catapulted the beginning of this adventure. I had dinners with a few friends in between shows. First, I enjoyed a lovely evening with my friend Amanda and her husband, Andy, in New Jersey. I love history and they took me to this incredible turn of the 19th century bar and restaurant. It had been a couple of years since we had seen each other. It was a wonderful opportunity to catch-up by the end of our conversation, she commissioned me to create a custom piece for her…that meant I had to visit the city again at least once more for measurements (but knowing me, at least 3). I then continued on to see and be inspired by a few fashion week shows, and while always inspired, I NEEDED to get back into the circuit of showing, so I spoke to a few production companies about NYC and beyond. The night before my departure, I had an extraordinary evening with a childhood friend, Lucas. We had thought provoking and wonderful conversation, sumptuous food and delicate wines, and as he walked me back to my hotel, he gave me the greatest gift (whether he realized it or not), he offered a place to stay when I visited. I don’t think he understood the magnitude of what that would mean for me this year.
In February, I was approached by The Society Fashion Week to show in Los Angeles during LAFW in March with the production fee waived (and to make it feasible, my BFF, Laura, and her husband, Ed, graciously opened up their home for me to stay while in LA). The Society wanted me to see the changes they made first-hand and talk about a longer contract. This is where the seed for London was once again planted. This time I could actually make it work within my budget (as much as I wanted to show in September 2018, the basic production fee of $10,000 with another company was cost prohibitive). I had a glorious time creating the inspired looks based on friends’ photos from earlier in the year. On top of that, I was able to return to NYC (thanks to Emet who gave me an airline voucher) attend an incredible forum, hosted by the Tory Burch Foundation, the night before my showing. While this was happening, the universe was setting something else in motion.
The week before LAFW, I had been contacted by an executive recruiter on LinkedIn. At first, I wasn’t sure it legit. However, as we communicated back and forth, I was being presented my ideal career role. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the work I was doing and especially the people I worked with. I was finally getting into my grove. Yet, this opportunity would get me back into fashion, community relations, media relations and working one-on-one with people again. Through out the interview process, I asked the question, “will I have a path to New York” and every single step of the way, the answer was “yes”.
I returned to NYC in April, with a gifted voucher from one friend and a place to stay from another, I met Amanda, took her measurements and contemplated the move to Macy’s. In fact on a beautiful spring day, I went to Herald Square, sat and looked at the iconic star hanging above. My moment of pause was really contemplating the return to retail, especially brick and mortar in the age of so many department stores closing. While weighing through the pros and cons, Lucas called and I explained to him what I was doing. He reinforced that I needed to go for it. When I returned to Albuquerque, I did. I was now at a place that I could afford to support the leap of showing in London.
During this time, I continued to write about my journey, my fumbles, my touchdowns and all that I encountered on the way. When I set up this blog, it was for me to understand what was happening in my life. However, those of you who have and continue to read it and are actively sharing your comments and thoughts on how it has impacted you, you’ve made me feel like there was something there…that I’m not alone in what I’m going through. I write about these experiences of this crazy, beautiful life with a force that I can’t deny or try to hide. I don’t know the answers and I don’t pretend to, but I do have my own story filled with chapters of discovery in who I am; how I hope I can impact my surroundings and hopefully, sometimes for the better.
Pushing Through Exhaustion, La Vita é un Dono & the Hook Up Plan – Saturday, September 7
In order to properly prepare for London Fashion Week, I had taken additional PTO during the week to finish off the collection, pack and prep. However, work is really taking off quite lovely and I’ve been pulled in to lead several projects. As I was trying to wrap up loose ends, my time off did not occur as much as I had hoped. I was staying with Lucas again in NYC and he was going to be out of town while I was going to be there, so I thought that would provide the time I needed to complete the looks. I gave in and decided to pack my sewing machine which meant a full-sized bag for the machine, tools, fabric and other electronics, a garment bag for all my completed outfits and a carry-on for my clothes. I opted not to take my laptop this time, so I’d have to rely on my notebook to journal while on my trip. With bags packed near the door, I headed out about 5am to catch my 7am flight to NYC with a connection through Houston. I checked the two bags, went through security and while I was putting my shoes back on, I was approached by friends, Laurie and Dennis. They were headed west. What a wonderful unexpected blessing to see them and good omen before my flight! Laurie explained to Dennis about my trip, they wished me luck, and we both shared safe travel sentiments and embraced. Life truly is a gift and the best ones are in those moments you don’t expect. I headed toward my gate, boarded, said my usual prayers for a safe flight and then the excitement finally hit me and like a kid on Christmas morning, I wanted to squeal with excitement, but I remained composed and just smiled.
I arrived in Houston and received instructions on how to pick up the keys for the apartment. I re-emphasized my absolute gratitude and wished him a wonderful weekend. I arrived in NYC at about 3:00pm. After gathering my bags, grabbing a Lyft and traveling through the traffic to Momofuku Saam Bar in the lower east side, I arrived at my location looking like I was running away from home with all my possessions in hand. It was between the restaurant’s lunch and dinner service, so only staff were inside. A young woman, either a hostess or waitress, was near the door and doing her best to ignore my knocks. She finally came to my attention looking a little perturbed by my intrusion. I asked for the contact that Lucas gave me, and when she came to the door, introduced myself and expressed my gratitude for helping me out. She welcomed me back for dinner service and I responded saying I might take her up on it. With Lucas’ apartment only a few blocks away, I opted to awkwardly make my way with my all luggage in tow. Once I reached his apartment, exhaustion hit me. In the week prior, I was on the go a lot more that I had thought.
Originally, I had planned to go out to a couple of Fashion Week shows, but I knew I’d be no fun, with the next day consumed by sewing, so instead I opted to walk to Trader Joe’s for wine and a few snacks. On my way I stumbled upon a street-wide yard sale. It was so fun to see what possessions the East Villagers were selling, everything from record albums, to vintage jewelry, to crystal dishware, to clothing was on display. The street was bustling, and the weather was absolutely gorgeous. I didn’t buy anything but admired the wares. I came across a bow brooch and again was reminded that life is a gift. I continued on my way. I bought a bottle of Rose, ingredients to make Caprese salad, and a few more snacks. As I walked back, I forgot that he literally lives across the street from Shake Shack and a Caprese salad didn’t sound so satisfying after all. I grabbed a bun-less burger, popped open the bottle of Rose, binge watched the Hook Up Plan (a French romcom that would get me in the right mindset for Paris–it’s totally fab you should check it out and SEASON 2 comes out on October 11—EEK!!) and settled in for the night wrapped up in a Zia blanket, a little NM comfort on this adventure.
Sewn Fingers, Clarity & Purple Rain – Sunday, September 8
I woke early, opted for coffee and realized I needed conditioner, so I headed out to Starbucks and CVS. I was the only one up at 6am besides a few homeless people, a man dancing on the corner of Astor Pl and 8th, the street vendors setting up for the day, and a big fat rat running down the street. Gotta love this city! I got back to the apartment finished my coffee, did yoga and after a shower, set up shop. I spent the day cutting, pining, and sewing the material into my creations. It was good that I was alone, but I was also sad that I was missing out on a beautiful day of exploring….but sometimes you’ve got to werk!! Lucas was actually coming back into town, so I was happy that I had wrapped up and cleaned up my mess just before he walked in. I was at the point where I had all the outfit shells done and either needed zippers or embellishments to complete the looks, plus I had been working 10 hours straight and knew I’d soon start sewing my fingers together. I was sitting on the floor when he arrived and popped up to greet him. We talked about our days, I asked about his Hampton’s weekend and he asked about my trip so far. We talked about plans for the evening. He wasn’t sure if I’d be busy with shows and he was planning to go to watch football. I hadn’t really thought about what I was doing yet, but needed to get to the trim shop before it closed for zippers and embellishments. I quickly changed and told him I would text him as soon as I figured it out. He teased me because knowing how much I loathe the subway, I was figuring out my route to M&J Trim on foot. He said the former would be quicker. I responded saying I’d miss out on the world and this beautiful day taking the subway.
There is so much to find along your path in NYC from a Burberry pop-up. I didn’t have time to stop at Herald Square this time. 🙁 Got to work and enjoyed a few minutes of the NYC summer day.
And I was right, there were so many squirrel moments a long my path, like a Burberry marketing pop-up, fashionistas “popping angles like they’re fabo”. I ran past Macy’s Herald Square, and as much as I wanted to go in, I didn’t have time. I got into the trim shop and I was like a kid in a candy store…so much to see and add to my collection. Who knew zippers, ribbon, trim and bows would add up and cost $60?!? As I was checking out, I realized I hadn’t eaten all day. I also checked the times of a couple of shows for that evening that I had been invited to. One was at 6pm. I had missed it. Then next one was at 8pm. PERFECT! I would make it back to his apartment change go to the show and we could meet for a late dinner. I sent him a text and we agreed to meet back at the apartment at 9:30pm.
I rushed back to change and headed back out to the theater district in a shared Lyft. Sometimes you make some incredible connections in the back of a Lyft. This one was with a couple who were visiting, but after a little bit of an inebriated conversation (on the women’s end), she found out that I was attending fashion week shows and showing in London. In return, I found out that she worked in the industry as a reporter for various fashion outlets. We connected on Instagram and she gave me advice on who I should reach out to. It was great. The Lyft arrived at their location and I wished them adieux. I was dropped off next…Sony Music Hall for Fashion X.
I love seeing the attendees arrive as much as I love seeing the designers’ creations, especially the younger crowds. The fashion forwardness of these events makes me feel like I am totally in my element. I sit back and watch in awe of the creativity, the confidence and the individuality of the attendees. I, myself, chose to wear a Grecian, Goddess-like dress I had been convinced I needed in my life. Mauve, plunging neckline, strategic cutouts, a slit and floor length, it was probably more a beach, poolside or wine festival attire, but paired with a turquoise squash blossom necklace a cropped denim jacket and my big hair. It seemed appropriate for this event and other attendees agreed as I received several compliments on my look.
That’s the other thing about these events, true fashionistas love to give love to looks that are killing it and take pictures of it as well. The venue was a music hall. The alcohol was flowing, and this particular event was all about PRIDE. It was fabulous. I headed back to about 9:20pm. Lucas beat me back he was hanging out in the hall on the phone when I arrived. I sneaked by into his apartment to freshen up. A few minutes later we headed out. We decided to go around the corner to a Japanese diner he’s found of. As we sat down, he asked if there was anything I wouldn’t try. I said I don’t eat babies: veal, lamb, etc… I also mentioned I’m doing Keto, so lower carbs, but as I always do, I left it up to him to order. He ordered Orion Lagers, grilled veggies, fried squid, deep fried quail eggs, and dumplings to start. Keto was out the door and my carb debauchery for this trip began.
We talked about the show and he mentioned he liked my look. I told him I didn’t get beach time with this dress, so I decided to rock it for NYFW. We talked about all the incredible things happening in our lives. I mentioned his feature in the New York Times for opening his latest, Bar Wayo. He mentioned how he loved what I was doing for fashion in NM, with my TV segments, and the Elle UK feature. We talked about work in general and how the summer was going as we received our tasty bites.
We continued to talk about life and he asked me if I was dating. As my immediate and automatic reaction, I’m sure I made a face like I smelt something rotten, and I said, “no.” He asked, “why not?” I replied, “I don’t have time. I’m not interested in dating anyone right now. I’m interested in figuring me out”…yada yada yada”. What I didn’t say is that while I enjoy the conversation, laughter, opportunity to explore and intimacy in a relationship, but I’m not interested in the games or inauthenticity that tends to be found when people are trying too hard. I’m no longer looking for the butterflies. I want the calm and the sense that my whole being is smiling when I’m with the “right” man. I also want someone who looks at me like a fat kid looks at cake (I know that’s politically incorrect, but it is what it is) and can’t help keep his hands off of me and not in that grabby hands kind of way, but the subtle touch just to let me know he’s there. The biggest thing is I want is someone who I’m not afraid to look into the his eyes with real intent to know his being, because I do believe that is the path to knowing the soul of someone. I’m not physically able to do this with surface relationships. I mentioned I do miss having the male perspective that I’ve had with my guy friends, but sadly, my best ones have moved away from NM. In that moment, I missed Roby, Sergio and Damon. He went on to mentioned that he started dating someone just a few weeks ago and she was different from everyone else he had dated before. I could tell he was a little “lighter” than the last time I saw him and that made me smile.
We talked about the last trip in June and the awkwardness that I felt compelled to address when I returned from it. It wasn’t the most opportune time to do it, because it was smack in the middle of his bar opening, but it bothered me immensely and I value our relationship so much that I needed to clear the air or run. We worked it out like friends do and I told him that I appreciated that he valued me enough to take the time to address it. We continued with another round of beers and food. I absolutely love our conversations! We talk about everything and nothing. We talked about the food, his love of diners like this (which made me really look around and soak up my surroundings), my upcoming travels, the inspiration for this collection, and randomness like how wasabi and hot mustard are my crack (it hurts so good). The whole time laughing and enjoying each other’s company.
He mentioned a speakeasy on the other side of this random door in the restaurant. I asked if it was a speakeasy or a dive bar because of the Rolling Rock and other neon lights that were behind the glass. He informed me that it was this beautiful turn of the century, high-end, intimate bar where the Japanese bartenders created craft drinks. I couldn’t see it with the neon flashing at me. When we wrapped up dinner, headed over. It was as he stated–this completely transformed space that boggled my mind. We ordered a cocktail each: I, the gin based Purple Rain, he, the vodka-based Sunflower, and we opted to share. We continued to talk. He talked about proper protocol for making cocktails and how they bartenders never smile. I looked back smiling as I normally do, and the bartender smiled back…broke that theory.
Photo courtesy of Angel’s Share
I am a huge history buff but even more so about the people who have crafted the world we live in today. As we sat at the bar overlooking Stuyvesant Street, he talked about it being the only true west to east street in Manhattan. He talked about the Dutch man who founded this area only to have it taken by the English in later years. He also talked about the best time to have a cocktail in these seats, facing the park below, which was when it’s snowing because you can see a bit of beauty and peacefulness in this often chaotic city. In our discussions, I’ve learned that Lucas derives history and culture in crafting the experiences he creates in his restaurants and bars, and I love that. We are kindred spirits in that way. Each bespoke piece I create has a story and especially for those commissioned pieces where I get weave my creation into someone’s important moment in life.
Across the Pond & the Customer Experience – Monday, September 9
I carried Our Lady and Saint Jude with me as my guides on this trip.
The next morning, I woke around 6am. Well actually and unfortunately, I woke before that at about 3am with chills throughout my body—the cold that you feel in your bones and you can’t seem to shake or warm up from. I don’t know why, it wasn’t like the air conditioner was on. I didn’t want to make too much noise, since Lucas was working the next day, so I wrapped the blanket it tightly around me and curled up into a ball. After all that, my body was not sleeping past 6am. I quietly began to get back to work, earbuds filled with music in my ears and me, sitting pretzel style on the floor, pinning the last few garments with their zippers and embellishments. Lucas got up and ready for his day and before heading out, and wished me luck. I continued working throughout most of the day, missing out on another gorgeous September day in NYC. I repacked my bags, storing the large one with the excess material and sewing machine under his bar table. I headed to JFK a little early because I didn’t know what to expect going through international travel gates. I got to my gate with plenty of time. It was interesting because the normal bustle I find at JFK wasn’t found in the international gates. It was calm and quiet.
Before flying on Virgin Atlantic, I felt flying lacked the
customer experience. I remember hearing about how glamorous flying used to be.
Today’s travel via flight is more like a cattle call, you line up, you go on
board, maybe you get peanuts, you sit in uncomfortable seats and you countdown
until you arrive at your destination. This was my first time flying abroad, and
the team at Virgin Atlantic made it a memorable experience, a luxurious
experience. From the welcoming when I stepped through the door with the crew in
the smartly dressed uniforms, to the pillow, blanket and headphones waiting for
me in my comfortable economy seat, the gratis cocktail hour, to the choices in
food, beverage, and entertainment, to the option to shop duty free from my
seat, all this value with an affordable ticket price. As tired as I was from
the lack of sleep the night before, my 2nd or 3rd wind
kicked in and the realization that I was on my way to London kicked in. I think
I finally fell asleep but not more than 2 or three hours. We arrived in London earlier
than our scheduled arrival and now I had to figure things out.
Train Station Yoga, What the Eff Did I Do, & Memories of the Past – September 10
As I de-boarded the plan, I had to figure out this whole border control/customs thing. I was sad when I realized that I wouldn’t get a stamp in my passport in London. Instead, they use bio-metric scanning to approve your entrance into the U.K. which is pretty sci-fi and creepy to me, but I guess this is the world we live in now. As I walked out to baggage claim and walked through the arrivals gate and very much had a flash back to the opening scene in “Love Actually” people awaiting the arrivals. It looked like to me with all the signs it was more hired drivers than loved ones, but it still gave me those ooey gooey feels, I smiled. I wanted to stop and quote Hugh Grant’s opening monologue,
“Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion’s starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don’t see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it’s not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it’s always there – fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge – they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that love actually is all around.”.
Love Actually
But I didn’t. I carried on. I figured out that I needed to take the Heathrow express train into Paddington Station. As I waited for the express with the other passengers and feeling a little punch drunk due to a lack of sleep, I wanted to ask where platform 9 ¾ was. Again, I stifled my urge because I knew it wasn’t as funny as I thought it was (I still giggled to myself). I booked my flat with a rental company. The area I was staying in was directed by the location of where the fashion show was originally going to be. When looking at hotels in that area, the average cost per night was £450. I found this rental company and the cost for my entire stay was going to be as much as one night. The reviews relating to the room were great. My only apprehension was the shared bathrooms but saving approximately $3,000, I could suck it up.
The only problem with my accommodations was the fact that check-in time was 1pm. I tried calling the day before to see if I could store my luggage until I could check-in, but no one answered so I left a message and didn’t receive a call back. When I got to Paddington station about 8am, I decided to hang. I really couldn’t chat with anyone back in the states as it was the middle of the night, so I went to a coffee shop and people watched. Feeling tight from my contorted sleep the night before, I thought about breaking out and doing yoga, but didn’t want to draw the attention. At one point an alarm went off, asking everyone to exit the train station. That took me by surprise until one of the workers said not to worry about it, it was just a drill they did every Saturday and Tuesday. In my mind, I thought it better be I don’t my journey to end before it started. Around 11:30am, I made my way to the train station, luckily the train I was taking was a direct trip to my location so no train hopping on this venture.
I arrived at Aldgate East Station approximately 30 minutes later. As I descended from the station, with my roller bag and crossbody garment bag in to and up what seemed a thousand stair steps, I had officially arrived in London. The area I was staying in was Shoreditch and it was bustling with people. I put my earbuds in and set Google maps to my flat. I was reminded of two things to prepare for my trip: 1. Mind the Gap—the space in between the trains and the platforms, also the sidewalks and streets and 2. I needed to look to my right vs my left (remember the directionally challenged comment I made before…just think how long it took me to cross each street, and really, it initially did). I started on my way, but my earbud plug into my phone kept falling out because I bought one of those bulky covers that charges your phone and the earbud jack just wouldn’t stay in place, so every few steps I’d I have to push it back in to hear the directions. It was frustrating. I knew I wasn’t far from my flat, but I was lost. I was used to street signs on every corner back in the US. In London, they are on the sides of some buildings, but not all. What I thought were just alleys were in fact streets. Many of the streets reminded me of my conversation from the night before—Stuyvesant Street—in the ways the crisscrossed the others. I know I looked lost and like a tourist, and felt like what the eff did I do, but I soldiered on. When I finally got on the right path, I was stopped by a young woman asking for directions. Did I look like I knew where I was going? Unfortunately, I couldn’t help, but I’ve been told before when stopped in NYC and other places that I look like I’m a resident of that town and that made me feel a little better.
I arrived at my location. It was bustling street filled with clothing vendors and fabric shops. Could I have been in a better spot? It reminded me of a mixture of Chelsea (but not the posh London neighborhood, the gritty NYC neighborhood) and Santee Alley in LA. I approached a discreet door with the sign “Monopoly accommodations” above it. It was wedged between two store fronts. I rang the buzzer and a young Russian or eastern European woman came to greet me. I told her I had a reservation and she took me to my room. It was on the second floor of this winding building. She showed me the bathroom just a few steps down from my room and the kitchen a few doors on the other end from my room. She opened my flat door and I found the room was perfect for my stay, very minimalist in furniture and décor with a full-sized bed that I could just melt into in that moment, a good sized wardrobe, a flat screen TV on the wall next to a desk and chair and on the other end what looked like a faux fireplace. The window was slightly cracked open and there were black out shades (although, a couple of hooks were missing so one side so it wouldn’t completely close). She handed me my key fob for building entry and the code for the lock on my room. I asked if I should follow her back down to the office to settle payment, she said I could do that whenever, so she left and immediately took off my clothes and climbed into bed.
I woke a couple hours later to the sound of children. I was staying in a real neighborhood and my window faced the back of some residential flats. I decided to get up and go wandering. While sitting in the train station, I reached out to this foodie Instagrammer from London, IG: @KS_ate_here, that Cati had connected me to because of his drool-worthy posts. I told him I was staying in Shoreditch and would appreciate him sharing his favorite eats. He gracefully did. I decided I would try Gloria, an Italian Trattoria just a few blocks from me. Before heading out I took care of my room tab, then headed out. Exploring the neighborhood, I realized it was three in one: 1. an immigrant community filled with African fabric shops and Muslim vendors, 2. when I turned a corner, a bustling, business area with smartly dressed men and women catching the tube at the end of their day, and 3. turning another corner, a posh up and coming neighborhood filled with high end boutiques and eateries in centuries old buildings. It was interesting that this was all found within a four-block radius.
I arrived at Gloria and based on the feedback I received, I wasn’t sure I’d get a seat without a reservation. I guess I arrived early enough that they were able to squeeze me in. Where I was seated, I had the perfect view of the entire restaurant. I sat across from a couple that looked like they could be in the UK show, “Made in Chelsea” (I miss not being able to watch it in the US)—she in a leopard halter with the perfectly chiseled (and probably enhanced) face and body; he in head-to-toe Givenchy (I wanted to tell him you don’t have to wear the logo tee with the logo belt and it’s okay to wear different designers). Instead I just smiled to myself. I ordered a cocktail and perused the menu. Everything about this place felt familiar. It reminded me of my great-grandmothers home in Mora. From the Holy Cross on the wall, to all the geraniums and plants, to the dishware, the only thing missing or that I couldn’t see if there was Crown Royal in their back bar.
I was definitely going to order burrata, so when looking at the choices, I smiled when I read about the “Nude” burrata. It was referencing Marilyn Monroe and one of my BFFs, Lynella, loves her. She had been asking about my trip throughout the past few days, so I felt like in a way she was here with me. Another moment that made me smile, was when I looked down and saw the wooden-handled knife next to my plate. In March, when I visited NYC, Lucas and I had dinner at this local Greek restaurant we had this vibrant conversation about what creates memories and I looked over and saw the knife and said that it reminded me of dinners at my grandma’s. I returned from that trip to go to dinner at my gram’s and what did I find, that wooden knife. We talked about it at dinner just a few night’s before, so again, I felt like he was in that moment with me. I sent them photos to try to have them guess…Lucas easily guessed Lynella’s reference, but had totally forgotten our conversation. Oh well, I had fun with it. I ordered the burrata and pizza (carb debauchery continued). I hadn’t eaten since 8am when I had an almond croissant and cappuccino. The meal melted on my tongue and I’m sure I looked like I was having a “When Harry Met Sally” moment look on my face. The restaurant was now full of afterwork patrons and groups, so I figured I’d be on my way to open up my table for the next diners. When I received my check, £1 was automatically added to support a non-profit providing mentorship to youth in the community, which if you know me, you know I love this. Everything about this dining experience made me feel like I was supposed to be here.
I returned to my flat and decided to call it a night because I was leaving super early the next morning to Paris. My flight was at 6am which I figured, I’d need to be at the airport by 4am. I was flying out of Luton which by train would be 1 hour 15 or by Uber 45 minutes. Being solo and the number of connections it would require by bus and train, I opted to fork over the £45 to call an Uber. I figured I’d get up by 3am and head out. I finally fell asleep about 11pm a little anxious trying to convince myself to bypass Paris and just stick around where I was comfortable and somewhat spoke the same language. My spirit wasn’t having it. I woke at 2:45am exhilarated to go on this adventure.
A Fox, Locks & a Wrong Turn – Wednesday, September 11
Dressed and ready and selfie taken by 3am, I called for an
Uber. Within 10 minutes, I was in the car ready to go. As we turned the corner,
I saw something so misplaced I couldn’t help but stare. At first, I thought it
was cat and then I thought I was groggy and my mind was playing tricks on me,
but it was indeed a fox—a fox in an urban neighborhood! It was awesome and a
little out of place, so of course I had to Google the symbolism of it. Here are
some fun things I learned:
There is a good reason the old adage: “clever as a fox”. In truth, these creatures are extremely clever, and remarkably resourceful. From hunting strategies to camouflage – the fox gets about the business of living life with sass and class. Many myths (Native American comes to mind) designate the fox as a jester or trickster. In China, fox animal symbolism revolved around the afterlife. Lore has it that a fox sighting was thought to be a signal from the spirits of the deceased. Celts believed the fox to be a guide, and was honored for its wisdom.
I saw this as a good omen and it relieved a bit of my anxiety. I arrived at the airport about 45 minutes later and I was grateful my driver didn’t fall asleep at the wheel, slamming was seemed as energy drinks while constantly yawning. I got through security super quick. I had no bags beyond my crossbody and there was no checking passports and I had my boarding pass. So I walked toward the gates, through the Candy Land path of duty free shops, still not knowing which gate to go to. The interesting thing about this airport, you’re not notified about your gate until about 20 minutes before you board the plan. Once I was received my gate information, I made my way to what seemed like a holding cell. The doors opened and we walked out onto the tarmac and climbed stairs into the plane. I had a window seat and did my very best to take a nap. This time I succeeded only awaking when the captain made his announcement about our descent into Paris.
Not really having a complete game plan for the day. I had
reached out to Sofi and Jamie both had family that lived in or near Paris and
had traveled there before. Jamie had the most succinct itinerary for 10 hours
in this city but it incorporated much of what Sofi had shared with me. Sofi
even tried to connect me with her family, but as life has it, they were
actually in the middle of a move to the US. Go figure.
I told Jamie that I was traveling into Charles de Gaulle.
She said I should take the train in because I’d be stuck in traffic forever. She
also warned me of thieves. Great, if I wasn’t already on edge this added to my
hyper-awareness. LOL. When I arrived in Paris, I got my stamp. YAY!!
In the airport, I had help with the trains I needed to take from a friendly attendant. She suggested that I purchase an all-day pass as it would be good for all trains and buses. At €16, it was a done deal. Luckily, I only had to switch trains once. However, when I got to the change station, I did ask for help from a pretzel shop attendant. Trying my best to speak French, I said: “Bon jour mademoiselle. Si’l vous plait..” and pointed to the train I needed to take, she pointed to train across from the platform. I responded, “merci beaucoup” and headed on my way. I arrived at the Auber station approximately a half hour later. The total train ride was an hour long and most of it was above ground so I was able to see life just outside of the city.
As I ascended the train station, I dropped my jaw in awe. I
was in front of the Opera in all its grandeur and glory. And basically, across the
street was the Haussmann Galeries Lafayette. I immediately walked in and took
the escalator to the top as Jamie directed.
“Excuse my French but I’m in France.”
From there I could see all of Paris: the opera, the Eiffel Tower,
Notre Damn. I know I had a dopey grin from ear-to-ear. I did it. I made it to Paris.
I felt exhilarated and excited to explore.
Chandler smile
Have you heard of Flat Stanley? He’s a character in a
children’s book in which he is drawn on a piece of paper and then shipped all
over. The cool thing about him is that he’s included in photos with all these people
and places around the world. For this trip, I decided I was going to take on
that role, but instead be Digital Dara. Not one who normally likes photos, I
couldn’t help but take photos of all the lovely things and people I’d be
visiting.
As I descended the rooftop, I decided to explore this magnificent department store that held all the world’s designers….and honestly, was amazed. Next, I moved on to the Vendome. But first, I have to give a shout out to the architecture in Paris. I felt like I was in a fairy tale. I know I was in the posh, high street areas, but OMGee, the round arches, the wrought iron, the French blue found throughout that captured all of my being. The smartly dressed men: turtle necks, French mustaches and slim fit slacks and women: perfectly tailored, elaborate patterns and luxurious fabrics, they all caught my attention. Funny, the biggest trend I saw in both Paris and London: basic Levi’s logo tees, DKNY emblazed everything and Converse–the basics are big!
Walking through the streets when I would hear the law enforcement sirens go off, I was catapulted back into a chase scene that I recalled from the Bourne movie franchise and not so much in it but the sounds from it.
Next stop, Place Vendôme. Jamie mentioned this was a must stop because of the beauty of it. She was right! Based on what I read, this emblem of French luxury was built in 1686 by order of the French King Louis XIV. Now known for the most prestigious French haute couture brands and the finest jewelry houses, it is awe inspiring.
As I was walking through the Place Vendome, I was in awe of all that I saw. In that There was a fashion shoot happening on the path I walked as I made my way to the Louvre. The high end shops like Louis Vuitton caught my attention, but it was what I heard through my earbuds that made an even bigger impact that solidified that moment. MC Solar’s La Belle and the Bad Boy was playing and it was perfect to be hearing it in this moment in Paris.
If you are a fan of Sex and the City, then you may recall this song playing when Carrie realizes she has sacrificed her life for someone else’s. It was the start of something that had already been sitting in my head since Sunday night. I continued walking through this grand space soaking it all in and deeply pondering what was weighing on me but also wishing I was wearing a big tulle skirt and heels in lieu of khaki’s and converse. It was already 11:30am and I was debating going to the museum or grabbing a bite to eat. I opted for the former. I needed to feed my curiosity and love for art, more than my stomach.
After debating the length of the line, I finally took my spot at the end and entered the museum at about 12:15pm. I hit all the highlights as I didn’t have much time.
“Get your photo and move on”
Of course, I had to take a photo of Mona Lisa…but honestly, I loved all the murals I saw as I waited in the long ass line that made me feel like I was waiting for a ride at Disneyland. The attendants were instructing the patrons to hurry and take your photo and move on. Done.
Next, I walked through Jardin de Tuileries. It was very romantic and perfectly manicured. Parisians were sunbathing the warm sun and others were enjoying the early afternoon eating baguettes and brie from the food cart. Again, I opted not to stop to eat, but continued along the River Seine. It was not only the sights that kissed my senses but also what I scents I came across.
While NY has the scent of ambition: sweat, grit and cigarettes, I found Paris to me smelled of flowers and most specifically roses. Fall was also in the air. The trees were starting to turn and a cool breeze flowed through my hair. The weather was perfect in the upper 70s. And as I walked along the river, I realized without planning on it that I was at Pont des Art bridge. I didn’t realize it, first seeing a bike ride tour arriving at the same time, but as the stepped off their bikes to walk them across the tour guide pointed out the locks.
I continued walking and taking photos. I smiled seeing families walk by, friends in conversation, lovers embracing and couples purchasing locks from vendors to add their own to the bridge. I stopped to admire the incredible beauty of the river and architectural landscape around it. I realized how romantic Paris truly is and it made me think of the question Lucas posed a few nights before. It could have been fun experiencing this city with someone else, romantically or with a friend, but I believe I needed to experience it and fall in love with it on my own. I was in a relationship for approximately 24 years, and a fear of water prevented me from traveling abroad. Don’t get me wrong, I freely gave into that sacrifice, but I know now I won’t ever sacrifice experiencing life again. I want to be with someone that I can explore with, even with our human fears, because I know “we got each other”.
In that moment, I thought about that scene from SATC where Carrie realizes she gave up a dinner party in her honor to support her SO in his gallery opening only to be left sitting on a bench. That particularly struck me. If I do decide to go down the path of a relationship again, I want a partnership…someone who supports me as much as I support them. I don’t want someone who doesn’t understand what this path of fashion design means to me. It IS more than “a hobby”. It’s taken me places I’ve never been, challenged my creativity in ways that I never thought possible and connected me with people all over the world that understand what this means. I was told I’d never get anything out or anywhere with it. Yet, here I was in Paris three days before I was to show my designs to an international community (and this is only years into this path). And while, I’m not ready for a relationship in this moment in my life, but the right person doesn’t usually come to you when you are looking. So the meantime, I’d rather be solo and happy, than be with someone and be lonely. I walked on smiling.
My next stop was Norte Dame. I know it wasn’t open to the public, but I had to get a glimpse of it if I could and I did. A woman asked if I would take her photo with the building in the background. I did and in return, asked her if she would do the same. She obliged.
I could not visit Paris without going to my beloved fashion icon Coco Channel’s Rue Cambon, so I started back.
Yes, Paris you are my high!
I was so in awe and now wish I would have gone in but since I wasn’t shopping, I didn’t want shoed away for taking photos…so my outdoor selfie would suffice. It was getting close to 4pm. I still hadn’t stopped to eat and looking at Google Maps to Galleries Lafayette it looked like it was going to be a 45 minute walk, which was weird to me because I definitely thought I was close to where I started. I wanted to try and fit in a meal on the rooftop restaurant before I headed back on the train, so I opted for an Uber (I mean I had already covered 5 miles).
My driver picked me up and as we started, I realized that I hadn’t put in the full name of Haussmann Galleries Lafayette so instead I was really going to Galleries Lafayette. This wrong turn was completely worth it as I got a close-up view of the Eiffel Tower. I was dropped off in front of the gallery and started walking back, but then decided I really wanted to take an Uber back. I had a lively and great conversation with this next driver. He asked about my visit and about all the places I had visited. He talked about he economy and what’s happening right now. He easily understood English but couldn’t fully articulate a response so he would use a translator app…which I thought, “duh, I should have been using that throughout the day.” He dropped me outside the department store. I took the escalator up. The scene was much different that earlier in the morning. There was probably a dozen people when I was there earlier, but now the roof top was full and there was line for the restaurant. Knowing time was no longer on my side.
I opted for a restaurant across the street. I ordered a glass of champagne and croque madame, sat and thought about what a lovely day it was. I then headed back on the train to Charles de Gaulle. As I sat on the train, looking at posts back in America, it hit me again the significance of being here and when I returned to my flat that night, I posted the following:
As an American in Paris today, I saw posts and news briefs about 9/11 remembrance. However, life seemed to continue here un-phased. I took a moment to reflect on loss and life and how one of the key learnings for me are how important it is to tell people how much they matter to you, to live life to the fullest everyday, and to love your neighbor. Merci paris d’être si accueillant avec moi.
I arrived at the airport and had to use my train ticket to
enter, I tried several times and several times I was rejected. I thought I had
paid for a full day. I didn’t know what I was going to do as there were no
ticket purchasing stations. Then I noticed, at the corner of my eye there was a
turnstile that was open, I walked through like I owned the place and hoped I
wouldn’t be taken to a French jail cell. Later, I realized I had been trying to
use my receipt and not the ticket…definitely a Ms. Adventure moment. I received
another stamp as I went through customs/border control. I picked up some macrons,
French wine and chocolate before boarding my flight. I arrived in London about
10pm and back at my flat about 11pm fully sated from a soul-filling day. I am
so proud that I didn’t give in to my fears and experienced this day.
Change of the Guard, Jewels & Unexpected Foodie Festivals – Thursday, September 12
1995 called and they said, “Girl, Rock IT!” I had to pimp Macy’s while I was traveling.
I totally slept in. Getting up finally around 11am and jumping into the shower. I thought I’d explore nearby when I realized London Tower was a tube stop away, so fumbling through directions to get there I arrived about noon. Purchased my ticket and stepped through history. I love the ego and dysfunction of the Tudor Dynasty and was so happy to gleam more knowledge about it here. I also had to take photos of the ravens to send to Meri, my friend and partner in crime in the Raven dress. It was an incredible journey back in time. The opulence of the monarchy, the treachery, or perceived treachery and the rich history of London was found within the high walls.
They say if the Ravens ever leave London Tower will fall.
It was fun to see tourist, locals and students alike enjoying the beautiful day. I spent a few hours learning about the prisoners, the jewels, the arsenal, the Beefeaters, and the animals found at this historic spot. After a few hours, I decided to walk the tower bridge. It was so cool and gave me that same feeling I had walking the Brooklyn Bridge total touristy, post card moment. When I returned, I stopped by a bistro that faced the River Thames. I had a glass of Rose and figured my next move. I thought maybe heading back to my neighborhood to try another suggestion from KS’s list, but as I walked around the moat, I realized the Foodie Festival I had read about happening over the weekend was actually doing a preview night. I purchased my ticket and decided to try it out.
I’m soooooo glad I did. I had been wanting Indian all day and you know you’re in the right place when the woman in front of you in line takes a bite of her Samosa and let’s out an Oh My GAWD!!! I was sold and it was deliciously satisfying. I went on and sampled some lovely gin, champagne, cheese, salsa beets and so much more. I think I dropped £50 on food and bottles of gin and whiskey on top of the Elderflower wine and ale I had bought from the London Tower gift shop. I headed back to my flat and opened that bottle Elderflower wine as I went back and forth with the producers from the show about last minute details.
Tourist Booty
Running, Prayers, and Getting Banned from Instagram – Friday, September 13
Decided to give London an intro to Hopeless + Cause Atelier. A moment at Pause…I don’t know if you can see on my keys, a Diamond Fist from Street Safe NM (just extra protection). This art was two garage doors down from my flat…seriously, could I have a better reminder that she is with me (that and all the 11:11s)
Friday, September 13 was very much a Friday the 13th. I got up super early and decided to go for a run around my neighborhood which was kind of fab. The air was cooler and a little heavy. I stumbled upon this coffee shop called Pause and in that moment, I figured I should. It was going to be a busy day filled with last minute details for the show on Saturday. The biggest detail was finding models. I had tried unsuccessfully back home to recruit with no luck. So I reached out the production company, to see if they had any luck. They responded with a big fat “NO” and suggested that I try social media. I did just that.
The funny thing about London. I had changed my service for
international service (didn’t know about changing my SIM card until it the day
before I was leaving). My wireless service was spotty and in some places out right
awful even in wifi areas like my flat, so I set up a work space in the
kitchenette and started connecting with models. I posted on Facebook to see if
friends and family knew anyone. Then using the hash tags #londonmodel and
#londonmodels started sending direct messages and emails to women who would fit
my looks. If I had my line up when I was creating I wouldn’t have had a problem
with creating for all sizes, but for this go it was 2-4 and maybe a 6-8 in some
of the flowy looks. My note said this:
Hi! If you’re in London, would you be interested in walking in a runway show tomorrow, Saturday, September 14 at 15:30? Let me know and I’ll send more details.
Londoners are super professional, polite and proper. I
received message after message from the women I reached out to. Most of them were
already modeling at that time, some were out of town and some asked for more
information. None were confirmed yet and then I got this.
What the fuck Instagram? I’m only doing what your platform is intended for. So I moved on to adding that text directly to a photo in their feed. I was so frustrated I went for a walk. I was happily wearing my cute and flowy Free People dress. I figured some fresh air would be good for me, plus I was hunting down a pen because I got tired of writing notes on my mini iPad. At the convenience store, the pens were £7…I opted to bypass that. Then the breeze started picking up. My cute flouncy dress started having its own Marilyn Monroe moment, so I figured that was my reminder to get back to work.
As I was working, I heard the chanting of prayers and bells. It was then that I realized that I was smack dab in the middle of a Muslim neighborhood and that was really cool to me! I continued going back and forth with potential models. Some looking for payment and countered explaining that I was an emerging designer and they would receive photos and video from the show. I also explained that I am working with Elle UK and I am planning to use the after show photo shoot for the next feature.
By 11pm and after a bottle of wine, a bag of wasabi peas (my
crack), three macrons and a chunk of cheese, I had 9 beautiful models lined up
for the next day. One was actually flying in from New York and would be
arriving about 8am and taking the train to the location. Hallelujah! I went to
bed and crashed big time.
SQUIRREL MOMENT: Have you ever thought about your “up to bat” song? I had a conversation about this a few years ago and it was Applause by Lady Gaga. I heard it tonight and it still is. OKAY BACK TO READING
Kicking Ass, Model Moms (BLECH) and $60 Uber Rides – Saturday, September 14
I woke at 6am. My body was so off this entire trip, but if I recall correctly, I slept throughout the night. I got up went for a run and tried to go back to my coffee shop to find out it was closed on Saturday, so I ran to a Pret and got a drip coffee and croissant (not as good as the ones at Pause). I got back to the flat, did yoga, drank my coffee, ate my croissant and jumped into the shower before the other kids needed it.
I got dressed in my work out gear as I normally do, if I’m not wearing my overalls and put out the looks pairing them to the right model.
Feeling so blessed from the messages I received from close by and afar. Thank you for the support and good juju!!
My music was set (thanks Isaiah).
My make up and hair was set with the theme of my show. At 11am, I opted to get an Uber and head over to the venue. The hair and make up call time was 12:30pm but I wanted to make sure I was there in plenty of time to greet the models as they arrived. I arrived at AMP Studios approximately 30 minutes later. There was a non-descript gate with a small sign that said, “AMP Studios”. London is very reserved in announcing locations. I walked up to the gate and a man, like the wizard behind the screen, said no one could enter until 12:30pm. Hui, my model from the US, arrived about 10 minutes later after walking a few blocks to get there (the things we do for fashion). As I was standing there I started talking to another designer, accessories and handbags. He talked about the shows he’s done and the shops his work is included in.
At 12:30pm, the gates opened and we made our way in. I grabbed a table and opened up my garment bag to pull out the looks in order to have the models try them on. Model after model started coming in. I’d send them into the ONE bathroom to try on their outfit, then over to either hair or make up. I started steaming the clothing and realized how much stronger the electricity is in the UK than the US even with my compatible charger—a pop and spark and I was done steaming clothes. Thank God the spark didn’t start a fire. We shared the small space with another mens/womens designer and two children’s designers. I hate showing with children’s line designers. It not the designers and for the most part not the kids, it’s the parents. Dads that stick around…I’m sorry you’re creepy. There is no reason you need to be backstage. Mom’s think they need to be there to take photos and give their expert advice. Go take your seat and take photos from the runway as everyone else does. Okay off my soap box.
I tried to post photos and video but the service was HORRIBLE in this location, a total dead zone that zapped my battery, so I took photos held on to them. There were nine designers in this show and Hopeless + Cause Atelier was number 5. The show was supposed to begin at 3:30pm. It was 3pm and I still had 4 of my models needing make up, so every open seat I filled it with one of my models. At 3:30pm, I still one model in the make up chair and she still had to get dressed. I told her and the make up artist to finish what they were doing because I needed to get her in the lineup. My show started with the first 48 seconds of Red Light Cameras Fire…you know the part with clapping and Amanda humming “who who who who whooooo”. That fed into Elevate My Mind by Stereo MCs and Hui hit the runway. The runway was a box shape and it was an outdoor venue. Even though we talked about pace and where to stop along the way, I know nerves and the beat of the music kicks in and the models walk faster than I wish they would, so I constantly reminded them of that. Carolina, my model in the MUA chair came running in and put on her outfit. I fit it to her and made sure it was on right as she joined in the group.
Incredibly grateful to Carolina Perez, Proscovia, Abbi Haynes, Isioma, Aleksandra Baranova, Christina Heimeyer, Hui Ying, Laeticia, & Michaela (not pictured)
As I say every time, all the preparation and work takes months and the show is over in minutes. After we did the final catwalk, we went to the back and I got some behind the scenes photos. After the show ended, we were supposed to go near the River Thames for a photo shoot but that was a 20-minute drive and I wasn’t up for it so I asked for the producer to do the shoot on-site. I loved the urban garden feel of the venue: the red and white brick, wooden pillars, barbed wire, graffiti and greens was my perfect back drop. So they obliged and they took photos of the group. Sadly, I haven’t received them yet. AND WHAT I LOVED EVEN MORE, is that these women connected and are collaborating on projections outside of this event.
I started cleaning up. While talking with one of the models, Alex, she was talking about her interest in fashion and design from an artistic perspective and how it shapes the body. She was telling me about a gallery event at the university in which she was showing her work. I realized the university was a block away from me and if it was open tomorrow, I’d love to stop by and check it out. It was and we talked about a time I would meet her there. Everyone started to leave and I called for my Uber.
Ten minutes later it arrived. The driver was talkative, and we started to head back. It was a shared lift and I was quoted 8 GBP. However, as we were on our way to get the next person the driver complained of having connection issues with his Uber app. We drove around in circles for a bit and then he canceled the other ride. He asked me to try to connect to Google Maps and give him instructions. I thought that was quite odd but understood the connection issues as they were spotty for me. My 20-minute drive turned into 45 minutes and in the end Uber wanted to charge me what would be $60. Yeah, that wasn’t happening, so I challenged the charge.
I was feeling quite satisfied with my bad self but was exhausted from all the burnt adrenaline. I decided to walk down the street to the neighborhood Greek restaurant. It was a beautiful but cool evening, so I opted for spanakopita and Avgolemono soup with a glass of Greek white wine—OPA! It replenished me. I went walking around for a bit before heading back to the room and turning on the telly for some good ole British tv, lol, it was Lord of the Rings!
Mini Me’s, Incredible Music and Public Bathrooms – Sunday, September 15
I totally slept in. I got up and ready about 10am and headed out for coffee at Costa. This morning I just wanted a drip coffee with cream. I took a seat in the corner and began to plan my day, when, as the Ms. Congeniality that I am, hit my coffee cup and coffee was everywhere (if I wasn’t so awkward, I’d have no stories to tell). I went to ask the staff for a mop to clean up after myself, when the young man said he would do it. I felt SO bad. The duo that was working was so kind and understanding that I’m a big klutz, the woman even made me a new cup. At about 10:45am I headed over to the gallery to see Alex’s work.
Art by Aleksandra Baranova IG: @ab_alexbaranova and Hugh Hamshaw Thomas IG: @hughhamshawthomas
I arrived but she was still on her way. I admired all the artists’ work reading their hypotheses and the process. There was one artist present, Hugh. He worked in the digital medium creating tapestry looking art digitally. It was beautiful. He asked about me and I explained that I had just met Alex the day before but was intrigued by her work and loved supporting other artists. I explained why I was in London. He talked about going to Boston in the fall for a commissioned piece. We exchanged Instagram accounts and I thanked him for his time. Due to time constraints and all I wanted to do in the day, I headed out before Alex made it in.
I jumped on the train to Picadilly Circus. Along the way, a little girl and, what I believe was, her father got on. They sat right across from me. She was adorable with big brown curls, bigger brown eyes and light caramel-y skin. It was kind of like looking back in time at a mirror. When I looked over at her, I noticed her mimicking body language as I sat. I smiled and changed the way I sat, with my legs and arms crossed just to see if she would follow. She did so I laughed and waved at her. She was serious at first and then half waved back. Her dad smiled, laughed and told her to say, “hello”. Kind of stubborn like me she refused. I arrived at my stop, I said goodbye and wished them a good day. She said goodbye and I smiled.
As I surfaced, I was greeted by music from an incredible solo artist. She was doing covers of many of my favorite songs. I stayed for a while and drained my purse of all my coins as a tip. I could have stayed there for this street concert, but I had places to go and areas to explore.
I headed toward Buckingham Palace first, but was stopped by a sandwich board touting fish and chips. That was one of the last remaining “must” eats while I was in town, so I walked down this posh cobble stone streets with high end shops. I was definitely in a high street of London, or Westminster to be exact. I grabbed a seat at the bar and ordered a gin and tonic and the fish and chips. It was deliciously greasy, and I covered it in malt vinegar. It was magical. I was satisfied and head back on my path.
Walking through the lush Green Park, there was no missing
Buckingham Palace, it was larger than life, grandiose and elegant. I loved all
of it, oh and that the fountain had mermaids (I mean duh!). They were sculpted
in it not swimming in it. The sun was high and bright. It was a glorious day in
London.
Next, I headed over to Westminster Abbey. And if I had been paying attention to the schedule of shows I would have seen that Victoria Beckham was showing at the Victorian and Albert museum. I mean I totally could have seen David.
Instead, I saw an official car heading that way. DAMN! The Abbey was closed so I went into St. Margaret’s Church. There was no picture taking inside but vast history of the church and its patrons. In ways, because of its history and the notes left by patrons, it reminded me of the church in Chimayo, NM.
I wanted to see Big Ben and the Eye of London so I headed that direction next. On my way I stumbled upon another street musician, this time playing the bagpipes. OMGeee I love this city! Sadly, I had given away all my change. I continued on and walked past Big Ben…oh yeah, because it was under construction. I tried to get a photo of the clock’s face but with all the scaffolding around it, the photo didn’t do it justice. The London Eye was across the bridge but after finding out tickets were £27, the walk, and the wait, I opted to admire it from afar.
I wanted to see how far Piccadilly Circus was from where I
was, so I started to head back when I noticed flowers around a monument. It was
a monument dedicated to the Battle of Britain. I got chills as I read the inscription
and that the date was September 15, 1940—79 years later I am standing at the
spot near where this battle took place. It reminded me of the stories about my
grandfather and his parachuting into Europe in WWII as a sergeant in the US Army.
I had a moment of reflection and moved on. I got back to Piccadilly Circus and
realized why am I taking the tube when I can be taking a ferry ride back to London
Tower. I turned around and went back.
I notice everything and no, I did not stage this.
I sat in a nearby park for a minute just to cool down. I watched a guerrilla photo shoot, couples and families all enjoying the summer sun. Then once I felt re-energized, I headed over to purchase my ticket for the ferry. The next one was leaving in 10 minutes so as I stood on the dock, I felt this gut-wrenching pain in my stomach, like it was being tied into knots. I thought I was going to pass out and of course there wasn’t a restroom on the dock, so I left but where would I go, to the new Scotland Yard? I was passing people on my left and my right and thought I was going to die there (my body finally rejected all the carbs). There were no restaurants near by and then I saw it, a sign for a public bathroom. I really wanted to die in that moment. As I walked down the stairs, I could smell the urine stained walls and thought oh great why can’t this feeling subside. I walked into a pretty clean facility, but I realized why people urinated on the outside. You had to pay to go through the turnstile. I had already given all my change to the street performer. I couldn’t wait. I looked around and ran under the turnstile and into a vestibule. Thank God I made it. I emerged a little while later and headed back to the ferry. Once on board the cool air, helped calm me (I know TMI…but sometimes you’ve got to be real and this really sucked).
We started our trek back and the captain pointed out highlights along the way including St. Paul’s Cathedral, Waterloo Bridge (which was built by women during WWII) and a boat with the sail made of children’s art. As we reached London Tower Bridge, I noticed the sun was starting to set approaching it, the bridge was vibrant and as we passed it, a shadow was cast on it. There were two different views within minutes. I deboarded the ship and decided to head back to my neighborhood. There was a pub on the corner that I wanted to check out, Culpepper’s. It had a rooftop bar and I wanted to soak up this summer day as much as possible.
I arrived and put my name on the list for a table on the roof. About 15-20 minutes later, I got a text that my table was ready. I climbed the four flights of stairs (honestly, there aren’t many lifts aka elevators in London). The first floor is this all wood old bar, the second the restaurant, the hotel-like rooms, and then the fourth, the rooftop. I sat at the table and was given the cocktail menu. I sat right next to the lavender and rosemary bushes the air was aromatic and lovely. I ordered the grapefruit sling and asked about a food menu only to find out that they stopped serving dinner at 6pm. I definitely only had one drink or I’d be falling down the stairs without something to eat. I went back to my recommended list of restaurants to find out that they were all closed, so I went online to find something nearby, it was going to be Italian again and I made a reservation for 8:45pm. I walked over the restaurant, which was filled wall to wall with patrons, so that was a good sign. I sat at the bar and ordered a salad, a glass of wine and pasta. After dinner I walked back to my flat and repacked my bags. I couldn’t believe I was leaving. I had such an incredible time. I also came to the realization that as NYC smells of ambition and Paris smells of romance, London smelled of cologne—musky, earthy scents like bergamot—a little regality and history are what came to my senses. I think these scents also helped to shape my travels.
Last night of reflection, gratitude and celebration for an incredible trip.
Getting Lost, 30 Hours with SJP, Godzilla & Karaoke – Monday, September
16
A friend and colleague was going into breast cancer surgery back in California on the 16th so I wanted her to know I was sending light, love and healing energy. FIGHT LIKE A GIRL, M!
I woke the next morning at 7am and again went for a run and my token cappuccino and croissant at Pause. I realized it was the only time it really drizzled while I was there and I thought, “I know I’m sad I’m leaving too.” I took a moment to pause and feel overwhelmed with gratitude for this journey. I did everything I planned to do while I was here (well, with the exception of seeing a Manchester United game…they were playing the same time of my show, but definitely next time). Who knew 6 years ago, when I was laid off from Cardinal Health, that I would be showing in my designs during London Fashion Week. Let me say it again…I showed my designs in London Fashion Week. People tell me all the time that I’m brave (maybe they think I’m stupid) for following this dream. It’s no longer a childhood dream. I believe we all have the power to accomplish what want to do, but many times we’re our own obstacle or we listen to people who don’t understand the meaning of life is to live it to the fullest every day. Creating fashion became my passion, so I set goals around it to make it work for me. With hard work and such incredible support, I’ve made it my reality. If I could travel the world creating designs on the fashion stage and write about it while meeting the most intriguing people, then I have lived a full life. And I’m already working on setting the plans in motion for Paris Fashion Week.
Seeing the time, I headed back to my flat. Took a shower and mapped out my train path to Heathrow. It would cost £45 and take an hour via Uber. It only cost ~£10 and would take the same amount of time via the train system. I opted for the later and headed to Aldgate East. I realized that my garment bag (the one I was checking for the flight) was about 10 lbs heavier than when I brought to London. Climbing up and down stairs, I knew I was going to get a workout. I was traveling during peak traffic time, so I hopped on a train, but when I didn’t see the location I was supposed to be going to I realized I was on the wrong one. UGH! I got of at the next station and my connectivity was gone. Double UGH! I asked an attendant to for help and she directed me to the route I should take. I tried to get on the next train, but it was filled to capacity and me and my bags would not fit. I got on the next one, and road it until I reached the station I needed to get off at. Then I looked for the connecting train, I was directed by another attendant to the platform on the other end of the station, up and down probably four flights of stairs into the belly of the train station I finally reached my platform. I was sweating profusely and the arm strap from my bag was digging into my shoulder. I’m sure I looked a mess, but I didn’t care as long as I got where I needed to be. My cell service, of course, did not work.
After all the running, climbing, and sweating, this still made me laugh and I wanted to scream, “Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!”
I boarded the train and felt comforted that I was going in the right direction. My destination was 19 stops away and approximately 45 minutes. However, as we got closer, I realized this train’s final destination was four stops away from the airport. I said an Our Father and Hail, Mary that I didn’t miss my flight. The train stopped at its last stop and I moved to the other track to get the next train heading to Heathrow.
My flight was scheduled for 11:50am. It was 10:40am when I
boarded that train. It was 11:03am when I tried to drop my bag. I also paid a hefty
fee to check my second bag because I knew I was going to have to run through
the airport. I received notice that I required special assistance. I went to
the attendant and she informed me that the boarding process closes an hour
before the flight, but she was going to do what she could to make sure they
were on the flight. She took me over to the cashier to pay for my second
checked bag. She gave me instructions on how to get through security swiftly. I
began to run. I got to security and explained my situation. The attendant told
me I should be fine that the gate I was going to was right near the security exit,
so I got in line and what seemed like forever, I got through security. Ran what
seemed like the length of a football pitch up to my gate. The agent checked me
in and I boarded the plane.
Relieved that I made it. I took a deep breath said another prayer and thank God for everything. I settled into my seat and cocktail hour began. I opted for a glass of wine and watched movies. My adrenaline was through the roof and I couldn’t sleep. In the seven hours, I watched Isn’t it Romantic, Hustlers, Rocketman and Dumbo. Since I never made it to high tea, I was happy that they provided Mile High Tea in a box. It was quite lovely.
When I landed, I had a message from Lucas stating that he knew I’d be landing soon and that I’d have the apartment to myself for a couple of hours. I responded when I landed. He welcomed me back and asked how I was feeling. I was feeling great but I did want to take a shower and freshen up. He asked if I was still up for going to his latest creation, Bar Wayo. I told him I totally was if he was. We agreed to check it out.
I got to the apartment about 3:30pm. The skies were over-cast and it was a little cooler than the week before. I climbed the stairs with my bags, my muscles remembered the weight and I felt like I had gumby arms. When I got inside, I drank a huge glass of water and did some yoga stretches. After, I climbed into the shower and the water felt so good on my skin. I took my time just standing under the water as it cascaded and caressed my aching muscles. I put my music on and started repacking my bags. My flight was at 7am in the morning and I knew I wouldn’t have time later to do it.
He arrived back at the apartment about 7pm, after getting his insight on the dress code for the bar, I changed, and we headed out shortly thereafter. We took the subway to the Brooklyn Bridge. I told him about my Ms. Adventure that morning and how I almost missed my flight. I also told him during this trip, I had my epiphany on why I don’t like underground trains—my lack of direction, cell phone connectivity issues and confusing signs. We got off at our stop and we walked toward Pier 17. He talked about the history of the neighborhood and it being the foundation for the gangs of New York. I was taking it all in. It was great feeling the vibrancy of the city again.
We reached our destination and he talked about the neighbors of the bar: an iPic Movie Cinema, the other restaurants and bars and then we came across a Sarah Jessica Parker shoe store. I had to take a photo for Lynella. I told him to get in it and the character that he is, he did. We arrived at the bar and the crowd was light it was still early and in fact this was the first Monday that they were open. The decision was made to coincide with Monday Night Football. As we walked in, everyone stopped what they were doing to say “hello”. I was with the mayor and this was his town. He introduced me to the group and we took a seat at the bar. Known for his craft cocktail creations, he asked what I wanted. I said a spicy margarita. He glared at me. I said I was only kidding. Had he already forgotten about our conversation about margaritas and how every bar has to have a margarita on the menu?!? I said I couldn’t believe they had them on the menu in London pubs. I told him it was on him to order. So we started a full tasting of the cocktail menu and the ad hoc butcher block, bartender’s choice menu.
We did order food, starting with Curry Donut. This savory treat was a play on the jelly donut. The size of a small plate, this donut is coated in some curry powder and coconut with a soft dough interior and filled with a tomato-based yumminess. It’s cut in fourths, tableside. We each had one piece but then it was discovered that it wasn’t cooked properly so it was taken away not to be seen again or a replacement. What the what? Next, we had the clam chowder. I know my eyes rolled to the back of my head with my first bite. The clam and bacon base made for a heavenly broth. I couldn’t get enough and really tried not to eat all the bite-sized potatoes. The Beef Tartare and Onion Rings came out next. It wasn’t your typical shaved beef. It was a filling tied together with pinon, add the Shiso leaf and wrap with seaweed, you’d create your own wraps or in my case, Lucas would do it for me. The leaf was very earthy and fresh smelling. It reminded me so much of the air from the Mora Valley in NM, refreshing and green. Finally, we shared onion rings. The onion rings were meant for dipping in the ranch and trout row. The burst of flavor was outstanding.
So I may have had a drink…what was I doing?!?
However, our drink game was strong. I tried to pace myself and remember I had been up for a while, but the drinks were enticing, and I wanted to try his creations. I just asked to stay away from the sweet ones. We tried the Kappa, South Street Sling, Kaiju Crush, Bonji Old Fashion, the Bellini and the other two peach drinks but I can’t remember what they are at the moment.
We had a lively conversation that went back and forth between growing up, what was happening with the restaurant and our idea to have a swanky sweater soiree in NM. And it’s an entire bar conversation. His team was full of personality and it made for a fun and lively evening. During the course of our conversation, a man walked in saying he won $200 in pool and was buying everyone a round of shots…tequila to be exact. Yikes! We drank it and then he said that he was going to pay for everyone’s tab. I looked at Lucas and then looked at him thinking your $200 probably won’t cover our drinks tonight. We Facetimed Lynella, and I’m sure my eyes were glazed over. I don’t recall how it came up, but he had been talking about taking me to Karaoke the past couple of times I visited. I always look at him with a scared face, so tonight I asked him if he ever saw MyBest Friend’s Wedding with Julia Roberts. He responded that he loved Julia Roberts. I countered saying I was Cameron Diaz’s character the one that sings totally off key.
Some how or another he convinced me to do it. And the stranger that came in claiming to pay our tab, actually did. However, I didn’t have cash (or enough to leave a tip), so I ordered another round of drinks and left the tip on there. I absolutely adore Lucas. He challenges me in ways that I look at him and want to say, “what the hell”. I believe he does this because he knows I want more, but he also knows my introvert tendencies to not push forward. Friends like that are keepers. He had been pushing me to sing Shallow and at first, my naivete, was like okay. Then I realized, oh hell no. Lady Gaga has the major part of the song and a range…I have neither. I tried to convince him to sing Dancing with a Stranger because of Normani’s lower tone is something I could possibly handle and the song was shorter in length. He said he couldn’t do Sam Smith’s part. I looked a him and asked how times has he sang Karaoke and that I wasn’t buying it. We laughed. We sang. He told me stories about the patrons and the bar owners.
The next time I looked at the clock, it was 4:52am, and my
flight was in roughly two hours. I had been up for approximately 30 hours. I
was easily convinced to change my flight to that afternoon and then climbed
into bed.
Lessons Learned, Feast of San Gennaro and Running Through Airports AGAIN – Tuesday, September 17
I woke about 9:30am in such a lovely way, refreshed after only a few hours of sleep. I got up and after Lucas left to work, jumped into the shower. I decided since I had the time that I would wash my sheets and towel since he was so gracious to offer his home to me. I headed out to my bank to get change, next, to Starbucks for coffee and finally to the laundry mat. Holy crap–how do people afford to wash clothes in NYC? The small load I did cost approximately $5.00.
I love getting lost in this city.
As I put the items in the dryer, I decided to explore the neighborhood. Walking around Bowery, I was loving on all the street art and as I always do, took photos of it. I then stumbled upon the festival for the Feast of San Gennaro in Little Italy. I had read about it but all the information I read stated that it didn’t start until Thursday, lucky me.
I perused all the vendors and found this cute NYC skyline necklace for $20, I had to have one. It looked like it was going to be a blast, but based on how busy it already was, it also looked like it was going to be crowded so I was happy to get a sneak peek. I headed back to the laundry mat, pulled my delicates from the dryer (lol just textiles) and headed back to his apartment. It was 1pm and I figured I’d make the bed, change into what I was wearing on the plane, wash the dishes and call a Lyft. That the Lyft arrived about 1:30pm. On my way to the airport, I looked at my boarding pass and realized. My flight wasn’t at 3:30pm as I had convinced myself it was. It was at 3:05pm but had been pushed out to 3:15pm. I was scheduled to arrive at LGA at 2:15pm. “Okay, that’s not bad”, I thought. I was dropped off and did the sky check so I didn’t have to deal with the lines inside. The attendant had issues with his printer, so it took longer than I had hoped. When I got to the security line, the digital sign said average wait time 20 minutes, again I felt good about getting through and on time.
again…
What I realized is that the time on the sign was probably meant for when you got to that point where the sign was. It was the slowest moving line I had ever been through. When I finally got through security, it was 3:09pm so I ran for my gate. Luckily, it wasn’t far and my boarding group had just lined up. The flight had been pushed out again to 3:25pm. I got on the plane and again praised God for this intervention. I arrived in Dallas approximately 3 hours later and had a 2-hour layover. It gave me the opportunity to really think about what an incredible experience this was. Everything about it was pushing me into new territory, new uncomfortable zones, and each time I rose to the challenge and got what I wanted out of it (even in moments when I thought the spoils were going to someone else).
Good-bye for now (tear, tear, sob, sob)
I’m just going to say this, “I LOVED MY EUROPEAN MS. ADVENTURE.” I wish I was independently wealthy. I would travel throughout the world, but not the posh parts. I want to be where the people are. The realness. The genuineness. The humanness and the beauty that is found in exploring new places. It has the same draw to me that New York does. I know it’s not seen through rose color glasses but of the humanity that each person brings or takes away and that’s why it calls to me so. And nah, sis, I don’t wish I was independently wealthy. I don’t think I’d appreciate it the same way if someone paid for it for me vs. me working my fucking ass off to get there and my beloved believing in me and wanting it as much as me, so much that they have gracefully supported me (I in return have grateful and gracefully appreciated it).
What this trip reemphasized for me is that we are mortal. Life is finite. It’s not YOLO—you only live once. It’s YODO—you only die once. You live every day. I don’t take that for granted. I give love with my whole being. I tell people how I feel and if they can’t handle it or don’t know how to respond, I run; they are not my people. I don’t have time for half ass lives. I only want people who can deal with my crazy, emotion-filled, cancer-being (crabby-emotional, not environmental killer version). I smile from ear-to-ear, I laugh with laughter that can be heard across the room. I will sit with you and cry and hug you when I feel that you are in the place that needs that response. I am human. I fuck up. I learn. I grow and I only want people in my life that are authentic and understand and own that. This trip taught me that AND so much more. It taught me the sacredness of enjoying being with yourself and loving yourself. It’s my crazy, beautiful life. You’ve got yours. Own it. Live it. I’ve already got plans in motion for my next adventure and whether it’s solo or with someone, I can’t wait (but I’m telling you there are European beaches involved and they may or may not be topless).
With light and love,
Dara Sophia (and yes, Lucas people do like hearing other people say their names but only if it’s pronounced correctly)
I was going back and forth on my title for this blog. It first started as a Labor of Love…but then that reminded me too much of a Lovelace commercial even though my creative process is a lot like labor, I just wasn’t feeling it. Then I attended an eighties night with my friends Denise and Lee, and for some reason Control by Janet Jackson popped into my mind and it kind of stuck.
Got my own mind I want to make my own decisions When it has to do with my life, my life I wanna be the one in control
Control, Janet Jackson
Last week was rough, knowing I only had two weeks until London Fashion week, I started to feel completely overwhelmed. I was going to a new city in a new country across the ocean, solo. I started over-analyzing everything. Where was the location I was showing? Where would I stay? How much, realistically, is everything going to cost? Being so close to Paris, could I fit in a day trip?
Then I started to stress…why am I stressed?
I reserved a room with a shared bathroom because I could stay near the airport for a price that fit my budget but would have to travel an hour to get the show’s location.
I decided after a few glasses of wine that what the hell go to Paris. The next morning, I remembered I don’t speak the language and I like my hair…I don’t want cigarettes flicked into it.
I STILL don’t have models for my show. Am I going to stand on street corner with a sign that says, “I need models” or pay the $100 per model fee with the production company?
Why do the English drive on the opposite side of the street? I need to look to my right first and mind the gap.
Where do I go for proper English tea?
Because my name is Dara Sophia Romero and if I don’t have perceived control, I stress.
…and a million other reasons but I realized you all won’t read more than a 1300-word count blog, so I won’t bore you with the extra details.
I closed my laptop and I started with yoga but that didn’t clear my thoughts, so I decided to go for a run and the most incredible rush of energy hit me:
Feeling a little overwhelmed today and knew that yoga wouldn’t be enough, so I decided to go for a run. I headed out on my normal taking-my-life-into-my-own-hands path through my grandma’s neighborhood. I decided I would stop by and see if she was home because I just needed some calming and encouraging energy in that moment. I almost cried when I gently walked up, trying not to spook her. She was watering her flowers like she was expecting me. She gave me a kiss and we chatted for a bit. I hadn’t seen her for weeks, if not a month. We went to her backyard and I admired her lovely garden. It was the zen I needed.
As I left, we embraced, and she said to stop by soon. I looked at my phone and 11:11am appeared. I put my ear bud back in my ear and “Loose Yourself” by Eminen shuffled to play.
Look If you had One shot or One opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted In one moment Would you capture it Or just let it slip
Loose Yourself, Eminem
Then I told myself to get to work.
Control–okay I hear it!
It was an incredible change. I know I don’t have control and part of the fun is going with the flow. I got back to my casita and I had an idea. You have no idea how many wedding dresses I have been given and there was one in particular given to me by my friend, Kristen, that I had already taken the embellishments off of, but as I looked at I saw three different looks I could create from it.
AND BAM, there we what I was lacking in my creativity. I saw off-white, khaki, purple and gold in this seasons color scheme. I saw jump suits, long flowy dresses and open backs in my garments. I will have 13 looks and if you read this blog, you read about VL13…but for me it’s not gang related. It’s my Valley Love and that magical number 13 for me.
I reached out to my only friend that I know speaks fluent French and asked for his help on some key phrases.
I hope you will follow along on my Ms Adventures. I will be traveling back to NYC for the weekend and on to London proper, and this crazy kid will be in Paris if only for the day. If there are any places I should see, eat at or shop, PLEASE SHARE THEM!!!
There are so many of you I want to thank for believing in me and supporting me on this journey and all the others that have led me here, but for this particular one, I would be remiss not to call a few out!
Du fond du coeur, merci!
The Society Fashion Week for inviting me to show in London. I was contemplating it last summer, but it wasn’t the right time and you made it a reality for me. Thanks Brady and Krissy.
Jamie and John, and Cathy – your gifts helped me with my airfare.
I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO TRAVEL TO LONDON WITHOUT YOUR GENEROUS SUPPORT.
Lucas—thank you for letting me crash on your sofa…I am a NYC addict and this leg will help me get my NYFW fix and inspiration before London.
Thank you Gram and Auntie Lisa because of your birthday gifts I
FINALLY got my passport and am excited to get multiple stamps in it.
Erica, Lori, Cynthia and Bob, Amanda S, Amanda B, Krisztina,
Glenna, Lisa, Dale and Lynella for supporting my “Fear Less.” campaign which underwrote
the costs associated with showing in London (I would love to see you in your “Fear
Less.” tees).
Katie, for the start of my London trip with the Oyster Card, pound
and all the fab advice on what to do.
Freddy, for the key phrases that will hopefully keep the cigarettes out of my hair (obvi I’m a little stressed by this).
Sofi, who sadly can’t join me on the runway, but who has given her
time to serve as my fit model.
Kristen, for donating your dress that kicked my creativity in gear.
My loves who inspire me on the daily. I love the young adults you have
become and remind me that “I
fully believe one of the greatest gifts I can give my children is the example
of a mother that pursues her passions like a mother fucker.” –
Cheryl Strayed
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.
Deuteronomy 31:6 (thanks Ang)
All of you who have sent me
prayers, good energy and love on this embarking. You have no idea how much
hearing from you means—seriously!!
My angels who constantly remind me that miracles happen every day, remind me not to stress so much and to enjoy the process. You once again made miracles happen today.
With light and love (and a little less cray cray),
Dara Sophia
P.S. Excuse my French but I’m in France (I’m just sayin’) — ball so hard — I’m definitely in my zone….two points if you can guess the song.
I was driving home the other night from a wonderful evening with a friend. The air was heavy with light rain and I decided to take a detour through my favorite part of town. I drove north along Rio Grande in my open-air jeep. It was dark but I could smell the recently refreshed lavender and alfalfa. It was cool and as the rain does, it was cleansing. The Cicadas tune was in full effect almost overpowering the music from my ear buds.
There are so many incredible things happening in my life and yet I am reminding myself to be humble, to be grateful and not to play big because I fear so much that as wonderful as it is, it has the power to disappear as quickly as it has appeared. And as I type this, I am recalling all the times 11:11 has popped up in the past few weeks and I’m apologizing to her that I won’t be small.
“We start off with the music and it kinds of propels the lyrics. It made me feel like I was in a car, leaving something, a bad situation. There’s an emotion there. I remembered all the times I wanted to leave…”
Eddie Vedder, Rearviewmirror
I continued to drive. Rearviewmirror, by Peal Jam, blasted in my right ear. I decided to continue my drive into the heart of where I grew up, down El Pueblo I continued. Middle school memories flooded the dark road in which I had traveled on the daily, back and forth for Middle School. Memories of tween awkwardness, trying to fit in, trying to stand out, thinking I was bigger and braver than I was. As I was cruising, the rain came down diagonally at me, it wasn’t harsh; it was reminding me of how much I love and hate the rain.
I continued north on 4th Street because something was calling to me. I drove past the home I had for the first decade of my life. It was behind what, at the time, was a feed store that my grandparents owned. Almost every farm animal you can imagine, we had at one point or another…dogs (primarily Doberman Pinchers), cats, rabbits, chickens, roosters, ducks, geese, guinea hens, cows, pigs, horses, turkeys, turtles, a domesticated crow and even a donkey, named Columbus. As you could imagine, my home became an annual field trip destination for my and my brother’s elementary classes. I spent every waking hour playing in and out of the feed store, roller skating around the concrete floors, climbing and jumping off hay stacks, and taking care of the baby chicks and rabbits during the spring season. I’d even jump in and help as a cashier at the ripe old age of 8 years old. In that moment, the rain brought the scents of feed, burnt hay, and manure.
Growing up Catholic, we lived across the street from our parish, Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I made my first holy communion and confirmation there. There was youth group and fiestas with a parade. I remember one year as a participant in the parade, I got to throw candy to the street lined onlookers from the top of a real-life horse drawn wagon. Years later, I returned to teach catechism. Not a mega church, if you showed up late people knew because the doors opened up right into the main hall and you were most likely going to be standing.
Next door to the feed store was a little convenience store called Roybal’s. We would go there in the afternoons with our change and buy candy then we would walk the opposite direction along the ditch back to Alameda Elementary to play on the playground after school. I remember I always looked to the east to St Francis and the Arroyo culvert that intersected the corner of St. Francis and 4th street. There was always tagging on the cement slab…maybe that was what fueled my interest in street art and later street wear designing. VL13 was always prominent. It was for the world to see between a fire station and a day care. I remember asking what that stood for. My mom said she didn’t know. My dad told me it stood for Vatos Locos 13 and that they were a gang.
I am grateful to say, “I didn’t or don’t recall any instances with interactions with gangs throughout school” (except when I transferred to Del Norte and was wearing a red bandana—in a really cute way—and a guy asked if I was a Blood, I immediately freaked out and said, “NO”). I wasn’t considered chicana enough and I wasn’t white or rich enough. I was a coyote’…or that’s what I was referred to. As a kid I hated being called that as an adult, I kind of like that! I’ve read that a coyote “signifies the answers to your problems that often come in ways and forms you least expect. The coyote can live anywhere and can be found everywhere and is a teacher of hidden wisdom with humor”. I guess I like that more than being categorized. I do remember growing up, that you couldn’t show fear, or you’d get picked on, but for the most part I got along with everyone. The only times I got involved in physical fights were because I was sticking up for someone who was being bullied or I was trying to break up a fight. In some ways, I was sheltered from that outside community, but maybe because, in my own home, we had our own internal nightmares. My life bounced back and forth between an ideal childhood and the horrors of an alcoholic and abusive father. When he was sober, he was an incredible dad. When he wasn’t, I was concocting ways to poison him so he wouldn’t hit my mom. The last memory I have from the Alameda Feed Store is holding my mom’s hand, running out the back door of the mobile home as he was coming in the front door.
We spent a few weeks on my mom’s best friend’s couch while she found the means to move the trailer to a new location, just a little further down the road. We were encouraged not to speak of what we witnessed, because of the shame that came with it. It was a new start in big lot. My mom had built a homemade kiln to fire her pottery. We had a garden each year and when it rained like it was on this evening, the deep red dirt filled with clay would cake like adobe. We had a huge hill in the back that we would play king of the hill on or use it as a BMX course for our bikes (the rumor was that the land owner buried her husband in the hill). Adjacent to it was a small forest filled with Japanese Elms and Cherrywood trees, it served as the perfect backdrop for a vivid imagination. As a fifth grader, I would pretend I was traveling to different parts of the world and it was all in my backyard. Growing up in the valley is its own unique experience. It was beautifully bitter and sweet childhood. I loved the life in this space, it was eclectic. This road I spent the next decade on, Robin Meadows, didn’t understand zoning. There were mobile homes like mine and mini mansions that mingled together. As kids growing up, we played on the street…kickball, soccer, stick ball…you’d hear “CAR” and immediately move to the side and then start it up again as soon as it passed. I was a tom boy and it was always a challenge when someone said I couldn’t do this or that. Maybe it was ego, but really it was my internal drive that doesn’t like to be told what I can and can’t do.
We would go swimming during the summertime in the arroyo…I know, I know…ditches are deadly. I didn’t fear the water. I feared the creepy guys that hung out on the ditch. Years later, when I would go running along the ditch I wouldn’t go without my full bred German Shepard, Nikka, because I knew no one in their right mind would fuck with me…however there were a few that weren’t in their right mind but once she barked they knew what was up.
My poor mom…in middle school I decided I knew everything there was to know in the world and did some really stupid things. I know I was stubborn and a pain in the ass, but I kind of blame her for raising a strong independent girl. Luckily, my stupidity, like puberty, subsided in time for my senior year. I think I just got tired of being grounded or my mom got tired of grounding me. I remember talking about following the path of fashion back in middle school and high school. I spent time sewing in middle school and once I started working more on building my shoe collection and styling my own look. I remember being asked if I was from California because I didn’t look the same as everyone else in the school (Z Cavaricci was big at the time–for those that don’t understand the fad, pleated pants and mock turtlenecks with the namesake across your chest). I took that as a compliment. However, obstacle upon obstacle prevented me from pursuing fashion, some at my own detriment, and of course that wasn’t really a thing for a girl from the valley to follow.
Have you ever seen or heard the George Lopez sketch about achievements and the reaction of Chicanos? See in the valley you aren’t supposed to stand out. The skit goes a little something like this: “Chicanos never say congratulations when people do well. ‘I got a job over at the hospital.’ Do we say good luck? No, we say, ‘Don’t fuck it up like last time.’ Or, ‘So now you think you’re all bad, or what?’” I recently had a conversation with a friend about this very subject. He is doing some mind blowing things all over the world, yet I don’t think it is celebrated as it should be.
As I drove out from Robin Meadows, back on to 4th Street, I’m Only Happy When It Rains, by Garbage started playing in my ears. I smiled. Is it true? The complicated nature of life carves us into who we are and drives our dreams or teaches us helplessness. It was so dark as I drove down the road, finally approaching Paseo Del Norte. As I drove closer to the Rio Grande, the cool air hit me and sent a shiver down my spine. The summer heat was beginning its escape and the seasonal change was approaching. Again, I could smell the sweetness of the valley the only scent missing to make this fragrant journey complete was the smell of roasting green chile.
I’ve been searching for what I want to create this season. Ideas have been swirling but I haven’t been in love with them until I started turning inward. Last season, I turned to friends and family for inspiration and it played out beautifully. This season I wanted to create from my own life experiences the history that has been woven through out my being. As I arrived at my casita, the rain had subsided, I looked up to the heavens that had been cleared with the stars bright and twinkling, and I thought about an illustration my KK shared with me just days before.
Cati Ambriz
And while so intelligent and timely for the craziness happening in our world right now, I see it as an internal reflection in how no matter where we go or what we achieve we can’t separate ourselves from our experiences. We can grow with them and transform. We can love and love hard even when it’s so easy to walk away. We can care and create beauty in our lives and the lives of others. All we need to do is reflect on the power we all have found in our complexity, anxiousness, magnetism, confidence and by telling our story. While you may no longer be going that direction, it is still helpful to take a look in your rear view mirror every once and a while, smile and see how far you’ve come while continuing to moving forward. I haven’t left everything in the past, there are certain people, characteristics, and tangible items that have been passengers with me on this journey. They are too precious to leave behind. And as I finish typing these final words, Dreams, by the Cranberries is playing….
Oh, my life Is changing every day In every possible way
Dreams, The Cranberries
My latest story will be revealed on September 14, 2019 in London UK. I hope you will enjoy it as much as I do creating it.
With light and love,
Dara Sophia
Find my It’s Complicated playlist HERE The Pattern is this crazy mind reading app (or as my son puts it, has an algorithm that reads your deepest smart phone thoughts) that pulls out your soul and puts it in front of you like a mirror. You can find it HERE.
