Time Given to Us

“I wish none of this had happened.

So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”

J.R.R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings
This was taken March 31, 2020

Kiki died in her sleep on Tuesday, April 7, 2020. Before we went to bed that evening, we spent time on the golf course under the spring breeze and sunset. I blew bubbles as I rubbed her and Chibi investigated the surrounding area. We went for a walk but she hadn’t eaten and barely drank water that day.

Wednesday morning I woke, jumped off the couch and into the shower while I could and before her presumed whining started. I got dressed, came out to the living room, and didn’t hear her call for me. I walked over and noticed she was not breathing. Kneeling next to her, I reached out and found her body was cold. I had been in contact with the mobile vet to set up her appointment for euthanasia earlier in the week. This time, I was asking them what I should do next now that she had passed. They responded immediately and suggested that I reach out to Best Friends Pet Cremation. I called, but it was before hours so the answering service provided details and took my information. I was grateful for the kindness and tried rather unsuccessfully not to cry throughout the conversation. The thoughtful team called me back immediately when they opened. Because of social distancing practices, they took payment over the phone. They asked that I deliver her body to their facility, remain parked in my vehicle, and call back upon my arrival so someone could meet me at my jeep.

I wrapped her in a royal blue towel (for the QUEEN that she was). I slowly made my way to their facility and I did as instructed. A kind woman came out with a face mask, gloves and surgical gown, carrying a small basket to take her away. Again, I tried not to cry as I watched her walk away, and again, rather unsuccessfully. I decided to go for a drive heading east on Menaul to Tramway I took Tramway North through the North Valley. I decided to drive through my childhood neighborhood before returning home. I informed my minis and then shared socially.

My heart was absolutely shattered. She was the DIVA QUEEN in my life with so much personality. However, the experience made me think about two things. First, I was so incredibly grateful to be home during this time. If she didn’t sleep, I didn’t sleep. Not having to go to work, I didn’t have to worry about sleeping through the night. From March 17th through April 7th, she was basically right next to me (unless I tried to escape for a shower, the bathroom or to make something to eat). However, the rest of the time, I was holding her, taking her for walks or outside to use the bathroom, giving her baths when she did have accidents, and setting up her bed right by my yoga mat or in my Atelier. The second thing that occurred to me is while we’ve been confined to our homes, life still goes on. Life and death. I can’t imagine funeral services during this time and not being able to gather to mourn a loved one. It was hard with Kiki, but again I was grateful to all my family and friends that mourned with me and sent flowers. It truly helped.

Walking in sunshine, rain and snow…yes, sometimes it snows in April.

That night I was able to sleep in my bed for the first time since February 8th. It was quiet, too quiet, and I didn’t sleep well. Chibi and I continue our walks and he’s become entirely too spoiled. I am trying to create a routine for him that I can keep up with upon my return to work.

I love when our memories pop up…this, 5 years ago.

The following week was another emotional roller-coaster dotted with Easter and not having the availability celebrate with my family and Jennifer’s memorial anniversary. During the month of March, our Macy’s team had designated Roadrunner Food Bank as our Bag Hunger campaign recipient. What this meant was that our change round-up campaign benefited the organization, we had a monetary goal for employee donations, and we were to volunteer hours at their facility. Unfortunately, all of this was cut short. So I decided the best way to honor my friend, was to volunteer for this organization, that I knew needed the help right now.

Her memorial anniversary fell on Friday, April 17th this year. I knew I wouldn’t be able to volunteer without some emotional barrier that day. I opted to volunteer on Wednesday, April 15th. I arrived at the facility with some apprehension.

Always introverted, within the past month, I had almost become recluse and agoraphobic (I can’t go to enclosed places with large crowds, having anything I can delivered, and when wearing the mask, I feel like I’m suffocating). So when I arrived at the parking lot, it took everything for me to get out of the jeep.

Roadrunner was completely organized with each required step listed on large boards. First, volunteers would proceed to bathrooms to thoroughly wash their hands. Then, we stood in a socially distanced line to put on gloves, complete a waiver and volunteer expectations form. Next, we waited until we received instruction. There were approximately 30-40 volunteers during this shift, ranging in age, and the room was completely silent and almost eerie with the lack of purposeful excitement that volunteering brings. We were broken up into groups. My group was assigned to build frozen food boxes. Again, we started off quietly, but as we got in our grove, we began to work in a rhythm and with a sense of camaraderie. The majority of the boxes contained pork roast, Alaskan pollock fillets, a block of cheddar cheese, a pint of milk (until the supply ran out), ham, and frozen peaches. It was the hardest manual labor I’ve done in a month yet incredibly soul filling. I was grateful I followed through on my commitment. It was the best was to honor my friend.

That week, I also shared my favorite photos of her throughout the years. I don’t know why I always feel weird about doing that, but I do. Such an incredible beautiful soul, I just need my reminders of her every so often.

Now that my schedule wasn’t completely dictated by a 12 lbs pug, I kind of fell into a path of nothingness. I had fallen off my Keto diet, my sleeping pattern was a mess, I wasn’t doing much more that two walks a day, and had binged on more Netflix than I’d like to admit to while probably, nah let’s get real, definitely, having too much wine. That lasted for about a week. I let myself slip down this slope until I kicked my own ass into gear.

I started jumping on invitations for virtual happy hours and socially distanced picnics in the park. I started walking the Bosque (creeping upto 30 miles now), running, pulled out my P90X dvds, and added time to Madfit and Yoga with Adriene, all while ensuring Chibi got his time walking.

While running one morning, I realized it had been two months since I had seen my gram even though I run through her neighborhood often. I reached out to my aunt and asked if it would be okay to run by, call her when I’m out on the street and have her and my gram come to the door. As much as I wanted to hug her and go inside or to her beautifully manicured backyard garden, she is 90 years old, so I stayed about 30 feet away as I asked her how she was doing, and about her garden. She asked about me and my minis. She too was upset about Kiki’s death (they had a mutual love for each other). I blew her kisses, and made my way down the road, eyes filled with tears.

Throughout this time, I’d hear from family and friends asking about Project Runway. The season was planned to start tapping in June with the big reveal on the winner during SS21 NYFW. I had been reading different articles about designers and fashion weeks, in general, canceling or postponing fashion week related events. It wasn’t until April 22nd, that I received a message that I knew in my heart of hearts I’d receive.

I was grateful that it wasn’t the “thanks for your time but no thank you message”. I am grateful for all of you reading who have supported me before and after. It really helps me in times like this. It also makes me laugh, because of course I’d be invited and move through the process during a global pandemic. If I didn’t have bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all. LOL!

Sadly, I haven’t been entirely inspired to create beyond sketching and draping fabric on my dress form. I am still hoping for a burst of inspiration, even as Paris Fashion Week is feeling a little out of grasp this year.

Travel memories and images that make me SMILE (IG: HauteNMGirl)

I tried to stay off of social media and the news, unless it was to share beautiful things and to read things that wouldn’t make me crazy. BUT, I missed (and still do) my people. As an introvert with “Chandler” smile (and only comes alive when feeling the warmth of a kindred soul), I’m totally missing you during this time. There were a number of years that I didn’t like to take photos. I used the excuse that I’m behind the camera. Just know that when it’s ok to do so, I will be hugging on you tightly, taking photos (Chandler smile y todo), scheming ways to better impact the community and creating wicked fashion.

https://www.facebook.com/dara.sophia13/videos/10219659818300007/

I don’t consume my time with the news. However, there have been a couple of things that have ABSOLUTELY boggled my mind (beside the lack of leadership of our egotistical, and completely senile President—that would be a completely different post except his ego loves for ANY mention of him).

There is so much wrong with these pictures

The first thing that I just can’t wrap my head around is that as an industrial nation, we don’t have the infrastructure to take the food that is being dumped by farmers and distribute it to food banks and restaurants that are feeding the front-line workers? In my mind, this would be a good stimulus investment, but what the fuck do I know. Honestly, I just don’t get it. Here is one of the first articles I read that infuriated me, CLICK HERE if you’d like to read it yourself. And, there have been so many more since.

courtesy of Brene Brown

The second thing, is found in our backyard, here in New Mexico. I read an article about the Navajo Nation. Now if you follow the news, you’ve learned that the area that encompasses the four corners area, has been hit hard with not only the corona virus, but in high numbers of deaths related to the virus. When you don’t have electricity or running water, it makes it difficult to disseminate information and not to gather to get your basic needs, or to wash your hands for 20 seconds to help stop the spread (WHEN YOU DON’T HAVE WATER). Again, how in the hell is it 2020 and our own brothers and sisters don’t have access to basic needs.

In response to the needs of my neighbors, I’ve opened up my Bonfire account again. This where so many of you reading this have purchased your Hopeless + Cause Atelier to support my trek to New York and London Fashion Weeks. This time ALL proceeds will be split between Roadrunner Food Bank and Navajo & Hopi Families COVID-19 Relief. The Hopeless + Cause Atelier store will be open through May 15th. If are interested and can support this campaign, I am TRULY grateful. The more sold in merchandise, the more raised for these organizations. To view and/or purchase, visit:

https://www.bonfire.com/store/hopeless–cause-atelier/

This week, as states were starting to slowly open back up, I learned that Macy’s will be opening 68 stores across the country with the remaining 775 stores opening within the next 6-8 weeks. While I don’t have an exact date for my store. It made me happy to realize, that hopefully soon I will get back to what I love.

Of course, the world will be different. Everything I used to do as a personal stylist/shopper will have tweaks. You won’t see my smile beaming, unless you can see my eyes crinkling behind my mask (which will now be required). I will be taking great care to ensure your safety and mine. It is going to be a time of change and everyone will have their way of reacting to it. Here are a few things I will be taking with me.

I came across this posted note as I was exploring London Town last September. At the time, I thought it was one of the many “notes” left by my guardian angels as I kept stumbling upon throughout my trip. I had no idea how prolific it would be. I saw a post this week about this very subject, and as we hope to transition to the new normal, it is worth resharing. 💜

🛑 Some people don’t agree with the state opening…. that’s okay. Be kind.
🏡 Some people are still planning to stay home…. that’s okay. Be kind.
🦠 Some are still scared of getting the virus and a second wave happening….that’s okay. Be kind.
💰 Some are sighing with relief to go back to work knowing they may not lose their business or their homes….that’s okay. Be kind.
👩🏾‍⚕️Some are thankful they can finally have a surgery they have put off….that’s okay. Be kind.
📝 Some will be able to attend interviews after weeks without a job….that’s okay. Be kind.
😷 Some will wear masks for weeks….that’s okay. Be kind.
💅🏻 Some people will rush out to get the hair or nails done…. that’s okay. Be kind.

❤️ The point is, everyone has different viewpoints/feelings and that’s okay. Be kind. We each have a different story. If you need to stay home, stay home. But be kind. If you need to go out, just respect others when in public and be kind! Don’t judge fellow humans because you’re not in their story. We all are in different mental states than we were months ago. So remember, please be kind!

I’ve always loved looking at the clouds to see what I find. This particular day was a Koi pond.

The other BIG lesson is to appreciate EVERYTHING. The time given to us is all we have, you determine what to do with it. I am sending you so much love and I truly miss you.

With light and love,
Dara Sophia

Today. Being Me.

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PUT THE WRONG LINK FOR THE LATEST MS. ADVENTURE. READ TIME GIVEN TO US BY CLICKING HERE.

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I am on Day 6 of social distancing. Macy’s made the brave decision to close its stores on Tuesday, March 17th. I was actually home that morning because I had chemically burned my cornea the day before and wore my contact throughout the day and was in pain and couldn’t quite see out of my right eye (only me right?!?). I’ve passed the time prepping for my Project Runway interview, taking lots of walks with the pups, baking (and trying not to eat it all), cleaning, working on projects that I have put off because I didn’t have time, and dancing around my house while drinking wine (what?!? times like this call for measures like that!!)

A virtual cheers with friends…and to all of you out there!

How are you all doing? Are you still working? Do you have all you need to get through this time of flattening the curve? I’d love to hear from you (you can comment below or text or DM me). And I’m sending you a big virtual hug until I can again, and a big cheers to your health, your safety and your sanity.

Since so many have asked, I thought I’d provide an update on my Project Runway path. If you’ve been reading along, you know my application was accepted to move forward in the second round, an in-person interview. It was scheduled for Wednesday, March 18th in Austin, TX. I reached out to my friend and incredible model, Carmen Powers, to see if she would model for me and if she could round up another 3-4 models to join her. She graciously accepted and got to work recruiting. Looking at flights it was going to easily cost $600 and upwards to $850. I figured I’d fly in on Tuesday, March 17th and fly out the evening of March 18th. There was an 8PM flight that would get me in just before 11PM on Wednesday which would give me the day to prepare for the interview. My plan was to fit the models on Tuesday and that would give me time to tailor my creations to make sure the looks would work for the next day. I asked for a 3PM CST interview on the the 18th. I was set and ready to go. However because of the cost of airfare, I wasn’t going to be able to purchase my ticket until Friday (the next pay date).

I went on to focus on the work that I loved at Macy’s. I met with so many friends that were still braving shopping in person (I AM SO GRATEFUL TO YOU FOR THAT). Evenings, I spent trying to determine which looks would best represent me as a designer and would provide a range of my work. I paused for a moment and thought about adjectives that best described my design aesthetic:

  • sustainable
  • edgy-demure
  • community
  • simple beauty

I thought I had the perfect cohesive, capsule collection of who I am and how I design. Now, I needed to get through the week, where life was changing day-by-day. And on Thursday, it changed to pivot to what was happening around the world.

Early that evening I received a call, not being at a place I could answer, a few minutes later I received a text to call asap. I realized it was the casting person, Rebecca, I had spoken with prior. After work, I returned the call. All in-person interviews had been canceled. I was to be interviewed via Skype by the casting director and the fashion director. After the call, in which it seems was multiple calls by my host, I reached out immediately to Carmen and informed her what had happened. I thanked her and told her this wasn’t the end…more to come! I sent texts to my go to models locally, first with the wrong date and when I snapped updated with the actual date – March 18th. I then went out to Facebook and Instagram.

I received a response from my friend, George, who is the director of events for the Hyatt downtown that he might have a space for me. I also received responses from other models I had worked with and Facebook connections that suggested others. I asked for comp cards to be emailed to me so I could see measurements, looks and find the appropriate model for my collection pieces.

Saturday, at work, was like a ghost town. Still, I wasl so grateful for those that came in specifically wanting to work with me but I ended up spending more than I made that day….anxiety shopping.

A few months ago, I invited a group of friends to join me at Hollow Spirits for their bartender challenge. What I found from overhearing the conversations and people from different aspects of my life coming together, is that there isn’t much that separates us, but something so easy as a family-style dinner is a great way to spend an evening. I continued it in February at M’Tucci’s new restaurant with plans to do a Sunday Supper once a month at a local establishment. Knowing the road ahead of us all, I reached out to them and said I was going to postpone the engagement until it was safer for a large group to be together. Instead, I asked that they spend their $25 that they may have spent on that dinner, supporting a local organization.

Quantini PC: Hollow Spirits

At the end of my day, I reached out to my friend, Lee, and asked if she wanted to meet up after work somewhere local following my own advice. We met up at the Copper Lounge for a cocktail and nachos. I don’t know how I had never been to this swanky bar. We talked about what we thought would happen at Macy’s…everything was still so unknown. The appointments I had scheduled for Sunday canceled, so I offered my services virtually. Luckily, I had an appointment for Monday, so I opted to take Sunday off and work Monday. We went on to Hollow Spirits another one of my favorite local places. Tried their Quarantini, noshed on their carne asada (absolutely love Chef Rogers’ menu) fries and bought bottles of their spirits. I convinced her to join me in Nob Hill the next day….knowing this area would probably be most impacted.

I picked her up from Macy’s and made our way to Central, parked behind the Nob Hill Business Center and made our way to the shops. We stopped in first to see my friend, Lyndsay, at Retail Therapy. It had been sooooo long since I had be able to stop by. We caught up on life and we purchased a few fun goods. We moved on to Gertrude Zachary but the mood on Central as apocalyptic. The streets were so quiet not the bustle on a Sunday that I had been accustomed to over the years of loving this area. Many shops and restaurants were closed. We moved on to Andy and Edie and I found a Paris barrette and Mermaid tee. We moved on to the new local shopping complex at Little Bear and bought sunflower seeds because I knew I could use them come spring. We purchased freshly made chocolate at the Chocolate Dude and popped in to Toad Road. We crossed the street and found a new lovely bath and body shop, LaVon Blu, owned by a mother and son duo. I stocked up on bath products. By that time we were famished, and I thought we could go support AMAZING chef, Bryan Romero, with Rancher’s Club. Arriving at the Crowne Plaza, again the parking lot was sparsely dotted with cars. It was even more haunting as we walked through the halls toward the restaurant. Sadly it wasn’t open but we found a space at the nearby lounge and ordered a bottle of Rose and lunch (and it gives me a reason to come back for a Sunday Supper). We sat by the windows and looked out at the patio. We talked about how fun it would be during the summertime. Headed home, I felt like I had done my part. I had also supported my other friends with online orders: the best beef jerky from Hunter Jaymes Meat Co and Clarity Pages (I figured if I’d be homebound I could work on my goals for the next 13 weeks) and later, 21 Flowers.

Many of you will be receiving these local gifts…well, except the Mermaid tee & Paris barrette. Those are mine.

I know I got off track from Project Runway…but I think it is important for me to share this. I COULD NOT BE WHERE I AM WITHOUT THE SUPPORT OF MY LOCAL COMMUNITY SO IT IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT TO SUPPORT THEM. I went on to work on Monday. I reached out to George about the room. He asked that we take a look at it after work. I was in. I had also posted to my dear friends in the beauty industry if they would be available to help with hair and make-up and they responded in full force. That morning I sent out an email to my models and beauty team with the basic details, stating I would have the final location pinned down that evening and the look book on Tuesday night. Within an hour, I found out that one of my make up artists may have been exposed to COVID19 and was in for testing. She was so disappointed that she wouldn’t be able to help me–I told her not to worry but to take care of herself. We’d have many more opportunities to work together.

The day was again slow with not much traffic in the store. A change in our operational hours was set and we were going to have a leadership meeting that afternoon to discuss further. I had one scheduled appointment and was definitely going all out for this appointment. I was grateful she didn’t cancel and boy did we put together an incredible wardrobe for her (Thanks S, xoxo). I left work just before 5pm and met with George. We looked at a couple of spaces within the hotel. I mentioned that the most important components were good lighting (natural if possible) and good wifi access. We found both on the 19th floor. I was set and EXTREMELY grateful. I headed home driving along Rio Grande as I do when I want to decompress. It had been lightly raining and it felt and smelt wonderful. The rain made the landscape so vibrant and fed my senses….I had been feeling a little nervous about doing a Skype interview. I LOATHE Facetime and Skype meetings because I can see myself and fixate on the dopey facial expression I make. I wanted the directors to see and feel my creations and you really can’t do through the virtual experience.

I got home and peeled out the contact that was burning my eye. I couldn’t believe I had gone through the day with it in there. I didn’t have my glasses with me nor my contact solution or eye drops at work. My eye was bright red so I rinsed it out several times and put a cold compress on it. During that time, a couple of things happened. George informed me he had been furloughed and would let me know who my contact would be at the hotel. FUCK! Here we go. I asked him if there was anything he needed. Next, I saw that a post was circulating about supporting local while knocking corporate entities. It bothered because: 1. Do you remember Sears and Kmart? and 2. People I had supported personally were sharing it. I couldn’t let it go, so I posted my own response.

Out of that came a really good discussion with my hair stylist and friend, Amanda. We are all living in this crazy time. We need to be looking out for each other and not creating division. I was in so much pain and in the back of my head thinking how am I going to get to a doctor and would this red eye be present for my interview. However, we had such an incredible conversation that I couldn’t hang up (we were on for an hour and a half…those that know me know I am rarely on that long). I went to sleep and woke up in the morning feeling a little better but my eye was still horribly red. Since I didn’t have any appointments, I opted not to go in. I laid on the couch for a little while longer with my cold compress and bandana on my eye. It was around 10:30AM when I heard from Lee. Macy’s had made the decision to close the stores through March 31st. Once again, FUCK! It was the right thing to do for the safety of their employees and customers but it definitely got in my head for the next couple of hours.

Once I snapped out of it and realized I can make it work, I reached out to my friend Melissa, the stylist and owner of Scissorhands Hair Studio. I asked if we could move the whole production to her studio. She graciously said, “YES!”. I reached out to my stylist Amanda, with Mark Pardo, and asked if I could get in to have my bangs trimmed. She offered to come by my casita after she got off work (if you saw my PR video then you saw how much I was messing with them and I didn’t want to do that for the interview). Now that Macy’s was closed, I reached out to the woman who has beautified my look for several occasions and MAC boss, Stephanie, to see if she could help. She was in. Finally, I got to work on the lookbook.

I went on to schedule appointment times, staggering them as much as I could to ensure proper social distancing. I did not take this lightly and informed everyone that if for any reason they did not feel comfortable about taking part, I completely understood. Since Sofi works in the health field and with vulnerable patients she opted to do her own hair and make up. I was totally fine with that. Melissa asked if I could join her early to talk through the looks. When I arrived, the salon smelt like medical grade disinfectant. I asked if I can help with anything. She wanted to ensure everyone was safe and we made sure that everyone washed their hands thoroughly and that the beauty team wiped down their tools with alcohol after each use. Stephanie arrived about 10:30am and set up her station. Giselle and Jade arrived about 11AM and Melissa and Stephanie got to work.

About noon, Alyssia arrived and shortly thereafter, Sabrina joined us. As hair and make up was being done. I was the countdown clock. Kim and Krystina hadn’t arrived yet. Kim was trying to track down dog food and Krystina got busy packing and lost track of time. I had asked that I too have mine done, nothing too much. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t look like the walking dead. As the team was busy working, the governor had called a press conference to talk through closures, beginning March 18th, for the service industry: bars, restaurants, salons, movie theaters and malls….any large gathering place. My heart sank knowing how much this would impact our economy and the livelihood of the team I had in the room. Melissa had already informed me that she had made the difficult decision to close the salon for two weeks but the governor’s announcement extended for another week.

Kim and Krystina arrived just before 1PM and they immediately got to work. Sofi arrived around the same time. The contact from the casting company informed me that I would be on at 2PM, but that I should be on standby in the case they were running behind. I made sure we were ready by that time. Just before 2PM I received a message they were, were running about 35-45 minutes late. Up until that point, I was focused even though everyone was asking if I was nervous. Now that we had the down time, I started to focus on that energy. I asked the ladies to do a run through and thought about what I’d say. I worked through where I’d stand and where the models would come in and in what order.

Wearing my tall, chunky heels, and standing on an uneven surface, I almost fell through the glass door as I grabbed a hold of the wall to steady myself and not go crashing down, I noticed Skype line was ringing, but I couldn’t answer it. I think I hung up and it rang again but I couldn’t answer it. I asked someone who knew technology to help. Alyssia came over and said it was ringing. I realized I was the one calling. SMH! I got a message they needed another 15 minutes. ARGH!!!! We got it all figured out and I realized I would not stand on the textured surface for the interview.

At about 3PM, the line rang and the casting director, Noelle, came on. It was a gloomy, rainy day so I was in a spot that I could pull as much light as possible. As we spoke, she asked about turning my phone horizontally so they could get the best look possible. She also mentioned turning because the sun behind me was acting as a back light and she couldn’t see my face very well. I could not get my phone to work properly so asked if I could use a computer. Both Alyssia and Sabrina brought theirs, as they tried to download the Microsoft Skype App on their Mac computers (not easy at all), Sofi got it up on her phone, horizontally as asked. We got back online. Again because of the sun and the fact that I would have to go back and forth between me and the models, Noelle asked if I could have someone hold the phone and I stand with the models. Adriana, Jade’s mom, jumped in. It took a few more minutes to get the fashion director on the line, but once he was we were on our way. Except Sofi’s phone notified us that it was at 20% charge. We ran and got Sabrina’s computer and my charging cord and plugged it in (I swear technology does not like me and I’m sure there was some remnant Mercury in retrograde energy here).

I introduced myself and brought in the first model, Giselle. I talked about the sustainability of my line, how with my community of creatives to bring effortless beauty to women who appreciate it. I went on to bring in Alyssia to talk about how I’m inspired and utilize unconventional materials like the cockatiel feathers in the neckline. What I create has a story behind it. Like the dress on Sabrina, the image is my NYC photograph printed on poplin. It is lightweight but still makes a statement. I next brought on Sofi and talked about her look using organic linen and remnants from an upholstery scrap book but the devil is in the details with the clock buttons. I switch out her look last minute because I realized, I had no pants in my looks and again wanted to show the sustainability and use of unconventional materials in my creations. I ended the segment with my Carmen dress. I teased that while I like glam I’m not Christian Dior who would design with yards and yards of material to make a point during the rationing period of the 1940’s (it garnered a laugh from the director).

I was asked about my education in this space and I told him my story and how this is my passion project. The session concluded with a recap of what he felt I did well and opportunities (just like a Project Runway episode). He said from our conversation that I knew my customer and my design aesthetic. He like the sustainability and story behind my line. He said my technical skills, specifically fit, were my biggest opportunity. And I knew it. If I had made more time I would have done a fitting and edits before hand. The call ended with Noelle stating I needed to send photos of the looks and I would hear one way or another for the next two weeks…back to the waiting game.

Yesterday, my grandma and aunt Lisa called to check in. I told them I was hanging in there. My aunt said my grandma was praying to see me on Thursdays. “Thursdays?”, I asked. “Yeah, on Project Runway, but only if it is safe.” I almost cried. We really are a community and when we support each other, we are unstoppable. So many of you have asked me how it’s gone…and believe it or not, I kind of black out in these instances. But I feel I was true to me. We’ll see if they see that too….

And if I can’t be on Project Runway, maybe I can be a “hermit star”?!?

Thank you for all the positive energy and prayers. There is definitely more to come in this Ms. Adventure. In the meantime, if you are blessed to have disposable income during this period, please consider supporting your local businesses and non-profits. I have provided links to the ones I’ve noted above. I know I could not do what I do without their support and please feel free to share your favorites in the comments. I believe in the power of positivity, so until I can give you a big hug, laugh with you hysterically and loud where you can hear it across Macy’s or where ever we may be, and travel to see you, know that I am thinking of you and will probably send you a text or DM checking on you.

With SOOOO MUCH light and love,
Dara Sophia Romero

True Love and Following Dreams in the Time of Coronavirus

It’s crazy how the world has turned upside down and inside out since I returned from NYC. A month ago, I wasn’t worried about traveling and Coronavirus was barely talked about. Now, there is world-wide panic, countries are quarantining their residents and people are stockpiling toilet paper and disinfectant. In fact, I was supposed to be traveling to Dallas this week for a conference but it’s been postponed with part of it happening virtually.

Life at home has taken a toll as well. You may or may not know I have two small pups: a pug-chihuahua mix and queen, Kiki, and a long hair dachshund of pure joy, Chibi. They are in their latter years, 14 and 13, respectively. Before I left to NYC, I asked KK to stay with them because Kiki, especially, has been feeling the effects of old age. Partially blind and with nervous system issues, she had been having problems walking. Since I’ve returned, she’s become completely immobile. I’ve only slept in my bed a handful of times the past month and a full-night, uninterrupted sleep, less than that. I have opted to sleep on the couch with a make shift bed for her right underneath me. Chibi usually joins us and typically right on top of her. She seems to know when I have important days scheduled the next day and makes sure I’m only functioning on 3 or if I’m lucky, 4 hours of sleep (the days I’m off she tends to give me a full 6 hours only waking up two or three times).

She also has major anxiety if she can’t hear or see me. For example, right now I’m sitting on my cheetah chair typing this with her at my feet (or in my lap) with my music playlist going. She vocalizes this anxiety and it isn’t a quiet yelp. She makes sure everyone including the neighbors know that she’s displeased I’m not with her. I no longer go to the bathroom, take a shower or make dinner in peace. I do yoga with her make shift bed next to me. I have found that the only other things that appease her are her CBD treats and putting on PBS in her bedroom when I leave for work. We go for walks almost every morning (except those night’s I didn’t get sleep and have an early appointment). She rests in my arms and I squat on the side of the road when I feel her hips open to relieve herself. Chibi is just happy to explore and I smile that I have these moments with them. It is the purest form of love and I try not to think about the day I won’t have these moments with them, but I also know that I don’t want her to live in pain so that moment that I can no longer comfort her easily…well, we won’t think about that. You do what you need to for who and what you love, right?

Because of this self-absorption, and honestly because I don’t watch the news, I haven’t been completely up-to-date on global events. I thought this virus was so far away from me. I had finally set aside time to focus on Hopeless + Cause Atelier again and started sketching and while Paris Fashion Week is 7 months away, I knew it would be here sooner than expected. Then this week, something extraordinary happened.

Those who have been following my design story from the beginning know that I was encouraged to apply to Project Runway five years ago…and I did. I had this professional and beautiful video created. There were so many people excited by it…almost as much as I was.

Here is the interview about it and other things happening at the time.

I didn’t have a lot of experience under my belt, but I had gumption. I didn’t make it past the application phase. I tried a few more times. But honestly, didn’t think I had the drama that the show seemed to warrant, so I focused on the things I could accomplish…NYFW, London Fashion Week and Paris Fashion Week.

As I’ve said before, I love to create. And if my creations give me the opportunity to travel the world and write about it, then I have lived a full life. I would love and not pass up the opportunity to have a world renowned brand, but I really want to create for those individuals that value what I have to offer. I also want to create in a sustainable way and we all know how the fashion industry adds to the environment and not always in a positive way. Hopeless + Cause Atelier is my passion project and if you don’t know the origins, here is the LINK to find out the story behind it.

Tuesday, I was walking the floor at work and happened to check my email. I had a message from casting with Project Runway. The woman said she found my brand and loved my work. She asked if I’d like to learn more. I went over to my Instagram account and found messages there as well. I knew this wasn’t a fluke so I responded saying I’d be on my lunch for the next half hour and I would love to talk to her if she had the time. I gave her my number, within minutes she was calling. We spent the next 15-20 minutes on the phone. She asked me about my design story, my aesthetic and other bits about me. I mentioned to her that I had applied before but didn’t feel like I brought the drama. She laughed and said, I had the personality for the show. She gave me instructions to submit my video and look book that evening. She then asked what the closest city would be for me if I made it on to the interview portion. I bluntly replied, “New York”. Confused by this answer and proximity to where I live, she asked about New York restating that I was from New Mexico. I told her I could get there via red-eye and for less than many of the other cities they were interviewing in. She pushed Austin and I finally, begrudgingly obliged. LOL.

That day was filled with meetings, clients and after work planning sessions. The first meeting after work, I met with two incredible chefs, Tristan and Bryan, my fabulous, event planner extraordinaire, George and right hand for Macy’s events, Lee. Sofi showed up early for our Paris Fashion Week discussion and joined in the conversation. This meeting was to plan an awesome event raising funds for hunger issues utilizing Macy’s products and support and tapping into the talents of our local culinary geniuses. Within the hour, we had the chefs in place, judges, venue and theme, 86ing Hunger. I love people that aren’t just idea people but also get shit done. Sofi, Lee and I continued our conversation into Paris Fashion Week and again the Coronavirus came into question. I reinstated that no matter what happens, if the airlines are flying and the production company is hosting, I will be showing my work in September. I had also shared what had happened earlier in the day. Although, Lee had witnessed my conversation and the smile on my face throughout that phone discussion. I had asked Sofi if she would take the video for that portion of the application. The casting director told me not to spend money on having a professional video done…that an iPhone video of me and my personality and some of my work would suffice. By the end of the conversation, and because it was a Tuesday night, I told her not to worry about it.

I got home and decided there wouldn’t be a better time than now to do the video. I went into my dinning room, aka Atelier, and started filming with my iPhone….and of course, Kiki started whining in the back ground. Because I didn’t want my video to sound like I was beating babies in the background, I moved her to my bathroom just for the video. I had originally tried holding her and holding my phone to video, but I couldn’t do both. After take twenty-nine, I finally got a few segments to work with. Exhausted I went to bed, thinking I’d get up early to edit the video and finish my look book.

That didn’t happen. Kiki had a rough night and that meant me too. I had three hours of sleep, a radio interview for a prom event I’m co-hosting with Locker #505 and Macy’s district VP visiting. Project Runway would have to be put aside until my next day off, Thursday.

Refreshed the next morning, I got to work on editing the video, creating my look book and completing the application. There was so much thought put into the images for the look book. It made me contemplate where I’ve been, where I’m at, and the possibilities of where I can go. Yes, I am a fashion designer (and as someone once told me to quiet that mind fuck called impostor syndrome, “Fuck yeah, I’m a fashion icon bitches.” STILL HARD FOR ME TO REPEAT). Yet, I am humbled because I KNOW I could not have accomplished what I have all on my own. I need the models, beauty teams, photographers, event producers, right hand production managers, but most importantly patrons, to bring my creations to life…to breathe individuality, beauty, empowerment and to live a dream into reality. And that was heavy…but in a powerfully good way!

I went on to complete the application. It was different this time around. No questions were found asking about restraining orders. The question about what those closest to you would say is your best and worst quality was found again (I’m interested to learn what you think…you can comment below). I completed the entire package within two hours and sent the casting director the link for my video and the look book.

Here’s the super dorky video.

Here’s the look book…

PC: Terrance Clifford
Models: Kristen Olguin, Rhea McKay, Cassandra Rochelle Fetters, Renaya Justine, Sofia Lou
Beauty Team: Lydia Doudnik White, Amanda Serafin, Kim Romero — at Downtown Albuquerque.
London Fashion Week:
Models: Hui Ying, Leticia J, Carolina Perez, Aleksandra Baranova, Isioma, Christina Hiemeyer, Proscovia, Abbi Haynes — in London, United Kingdom.
Published: ELEGANT Magazine
Creative director // makeup // model: Elise Marie LeckPhoto: Kyle Devlin
Gown: Hopeless + Cause Atelier
Jewelry: ENVE Designs
Hair: Combs n Contour
Location: Kansas City, MO

Published: WeWork Creator Magazine
PC: Katelyn Perry
Model: Cati Ambriz
Location: Bryant Park, NYC

Published: Conceptual Magazine
PC: Lauren Shipman
Model: Addy Nicole
Hairstylist: Joshua Halladay
MUA: Francine When
Flower Crown: Miri boheme
Location: Albuquerque Bosque

Headshot PC: Erin Killion Photography
PC: Erin Killion Photography
Models: Sofia Lou, Kristen Olguin
Beauty: Mark Pardo SalonSpaLydia Doudnik White, Amanda Serafin, Yvoneé Gonzales — at Scalo’s Bar.

I had been posting the turn of events on social media with wonderful support. I went out to Facebook and a memory from 5 years ago appeared. It was the first time I had applied.

I shared the memory and added, “Wow, this memory just popped up…5 years ago today, I applied to Project Runway for the first time. It wasn’t under Hopeless + Cause Atelier. I almost gave up on this dream only a few months later until my 💜 wouldn’t let me quit. Since then, I’ve accomplished more than I could have ever dreamed. I’ve stumbled. I’ve gotten my ass kicked more than once. But, I’ve also achieved new heights and now, I’m soaring because I’ve followed my deep pigeon red, lopsided heart. ♥️ Who knew?!?” It was now in the casting team’s hands.

I went on to contacting clients, planning events and enjoying life. Friday came and as I went to take the pups for their morning walk, I dropped my phone. Completely cracked, I couldn’t use it. Grrr! I returned to work to find out that my much anticipated trip to Dallas to learn more tips for succeeding in my role and seeing all my incredible colleagues, was postponed due to the Coronavirus. What the heck?!? Was someone going to come in and kick me in the shins next. That morning, I talked with a model friend about an event she is producing and wanted to know if I would outfit DV survivors. Honored, I jumped at the opportunity. I ran over to the phone “fix it” store in the mall. Ran back and met with one of my favorite couples in getting some items they needed. I went on and worked on other appointments when again that afternoon I was stopped in my tracks.

I received notification that I was moving on to the next round. I tried not to scream as I was suiting a gentleman for Kentucky Derby. While he was in the fitting room, I sent a text to those closest to me. Then at the register, I blurted it out to this complete stranger. He thought it was incredible…I just couldn’t help it. I posted later that evening…

PC: Kate Rodriguez Duran
Hair: Ignacio Ortega
MUA: Angelique Taylor
Models in shot: Brook Benham, Smitha Giano Addy Nicole
Jewelry: MINU Jewels
Graphic Design on Hera dress: Meri C Fox-Szauter
Location: Downtown Contemporary Gallery
#hopelesscauseatelier – first show November 5, 2015

“I had no idea where I’d be in 5 years but I had a dream, the work ethic and the tenacity to believe I deserve it. I’M MOVING ON TO THE NEXT ROUND #projectrunway. Thank you for all the love and belief. Keep the positive energy coming please. There’s still a long way to go. More to come!! 😘”

I am moving on to the next round and it’s almost unbelievable. I’ve learned to so appreciate those who support me and tune out those that I thought would, yet are silent in moments like this. I’ve started the planning process and have found that I have an incredible leg up with one of my favorite models nearby and available to showcase my work (plus recruiting others). I can’t share the inner dealings of the process, but I will be journaling my adventures and will share more soon. I just REALLY hope the Coronavirus doesn’t ground flights. And since my pug is sleeping, I think I’m going to take a nap.

Thank YOU for the love and support…and if it’s not too much to ask, please keep sending those prayers, love, support and good juju. It helps immensely.

With light and love,

Dara Sophia Romero