Control

I was going back and forth on my title for this blog. It first started as a Labor of Love…but then that reminded me too much of a Lovelace commercial even though my creative process is a lot like labor, I just wasn’t feeling it. Then I attended an eighties night with my friends Denise and Lee, and for some reason Control by Janet Jackson popped into my mind and it kind of stuck.

Got my own mind
I want to make my own decisions
When it has to do with my life, my life
I wanna be the one in control

Control, Janet Jackson

Last week was rough, knowing I only had two weeks until London Fashion week, I started to feel completely overwhelmed. I was going to a new city in a new country across the ocean, solo. I started over-analyzing everything. Where was the location I was showing? Where would I stay? How much, realistically, is everything going to cost? Being so close to Paris, could I fit in a day trip?

Then I started to stress…why am I stressed?

  • I reserved a room with a shared bathroom because I could stay near the airport for a price that fit my budget but would have to travel an hour to get the show’s location.
  • I decided after a few glasses of wine that what the hell go to Paris. The next morning, I remembered I don’t speak the language and I like my hair…I don’t want cigarettes flicked into it.
  • I STILL don’t have models for my show. Am I going to stand on street corner with a sign that says, “I need models” or pay the $100 per model fee with the production company?
  • Why do the English drive on the opposite side of the street? I need to look to my right first and mind the gap.
  • Where do I go for proper English tea?
  • Because my name is Dara Sophia Romero and if I don’t have perceived control, I stress.

…and a million other reasons but I realized you all won’t read more than a 1300-word count blog, so I won’t bore you with the extra details.

I closed my laptop and I started with yoga but that didn’t clear my thoughts, so I decided to go for a run and the most incredible rush of energy hit me:

Feeling a little overwhelmed today and knew that yoga wouldn’t be enough, so I decided to go for a run. I headed out on my normal taking-my-life-into-my-own-hands path through my grandma’s neighborhood. I decided I would stop by and see if she was home because I just needed some calming and encouraging energy in that moment. I almost cried when I gently walked up, trying not to spook her. She was watering her flowers like she was expecting me. She gave me a kiss and we chatted for a bit. I hadn’t seen her for weeks, if not a month. We went to her backyard and I admired her lovely garden. It was the zen I needed. 

As I left, we embraced, and she said to stop by soon. I looked at my phone and 11:11am appeared. I put my ear bud back in my ear and “Loose Yourself” by Eminen shuffled to play. 

Look
If you had
One shot or
One opportunity 
To seize everything you ever wanted
In one moment
Would you capture it
Or just let it slip

Loose Yourself, Eminem

Then I told myself to get to work.

Control–okay I hear it!

It was an incredible change. I know I don’t have control and part of the fun is going with the flow. I got back to my casita and I had an idea. You have no idea how many wedding dresses I have been given and there was one in particular given to me by my friend, Kristen, that I had already taken the embellishments off of, but as I looked at I saw three different looks I could create from it.

AND BAM, there we what I was lacking in my creativity. I saw off-white, khaki, purple and gold in this seasons color scheme. I saw jump suits, long flowy dresses and open backs in my garments. I will have 13 looks and if you read this blog, you read about VL13…but for me it’s not gang related. It’s my Valley Love and that magical number 13 for me.

I reached out to my only friend that I know speaks fluent French and asked for his help on some key phrases.

I hope you will follow along on my Ms Adventures. I will be traveling back to NYC for the weekend and on to London proper, and this crazy kid will be in Paris if only for the day. If there are any places I should see, eat at or shop, PLEASE SHARE THEM!!!

There are so many of you I want to thank for believing in me and supporting me on this journey and all the others that have led me here, but for this particular one, I would be remiss not to call a few out!

Du fond du coeur, merci!

The Society Fashion Week for inviting me to show in London. I was contemplating it last summer, but it wasn’t the right time and you made it a reality for me. Thanks Brady and Krissy.

Jamie and John, and Cathy – your gifts helped me with my airfare. I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO TRAVEL TO LONDON WITHOUT YOUR GENEROUS SUPPORT.

Lucas—thank you for letting me crash on your sofa…I am a NYC addict and this leg will help me get my NYFW fix and inspiration before London.

Thank you Gram and Auntie Lisa because of your birthday gifts I FINALLY got my passport and am excited to get multiple stamps in it.

Erica, Lori, Cynthia and Bob, Amanda S, Amanda B, Krisztina, Glenna, Lisa, Dale and Lynella for supporting my “Fear Less.” campaign which underwrote the costs associated with showing in London (I would love to see you in your “Fear Less.” tees).

Katie, for the start of my London trip with the Oyster Card, pound and all the fab advice on what to do.

Freddy, for the key phrases that will hopefully keep the cigarettes out of my hair (obvi I’m a little stressed by this).

Sofi, who sadly can’t join me on the runway, but who has given her time to serve as my fit model.

Kristen, for donating your dress that kicked my creativity in gear.

My loves who inspire me on the daily. I love the young adults you have become and remind me that “I fully believe one of the greatest gifts I can give my children is the example of a mother that pursues her passions like a mother fucker.” – Cheryl Strayed

Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.

Deuteronomy 31:6 (thanks Ang)

All of you who have sent me prayers, good energy and love on this embarking. You have no idea how much hearing from you means—seriously!!

My angels who constantly remind me that miracles happen every day, remind me not to stress so much and to enjoy the process. You once again made miracles happen today.

With light and love (and a little less cray cray),

Dara Sophia

P.S. Excuse my French but I’m in France (I’m just sayin’) — ball so hard — I’m definitely in my zone….two points if you can guess the song.

Wanderlust

My all-time favorite place to work in NYC, The Hudson Commons

Yesterday, I ran to a local fabric store looking for last minute embellishments for a dress I’m working on. Going through the rows and rows of material, nothing spoke to me. Even as I sit in front of my computer, I am at a loss of words. I am not feeling inspired and it is the worst feeling. I know why; I am lacking miles.

While I have not become an international traveler just yet, I have been fortunate enough to travel out of state at least once a quarter. In fact, last year because of my work obligations, my yearning to see friends and spend quality time with my kids, I clocked 28,722 miles, visited 8 states and the District of Columbia. I provided a glimpse as a tour guide to friends and family members who hadn’t visited some of my favorite places. I worked on a mountain top and near the coast line. I had one-on-one time with each of my kiddos (I decided for their birthdays that they would receive gifts of experiences and memories, not material items). I witnessed their grins from ear-to-ear as they were able to enjoy their passions of musical theater and outdoor art and beauty. We, the three amigos, traveled a trifecta of times together as a pack, and they were able to sit front row for one of my shows on a hotel rooftop on a beautiful, CLEAR afternoon in San Francisco and got to experience the magic of NYC during the Christmas season. I was able to take them along because of the gifts I received throughout the year and the points I had accumulated.

A travel must…fresh flowers from local markets like these peonies from Seattle’s Pike Market.

My daughter taught me that I should ALWAYS book a hotel room with a freestanding tub and fill it with flowers and local bath products because that, in itself, is a vacation even when it is a work trip.

Taking Reservations for NYFW SS19 and AW19 seasons. Inquire within. 🙂

Nothing makes me smile more than giving someone a glimpse of my New York and definitely, love when I get to show my travel companions Fashion Week.

But the best thing about traveling is immersing yourself into the location. Do you ever travel and just people watch? I do this ALL THE TIME. Either sitting at a café, patio or walking around the city with my earbuds in and shades on. I love hearing the languages swirling around my head and seeing the street fashion (it’s just as incredible in Denver as it is in NYC). And when I don’t have the budget to travel afar, I travel to my little piece of Europe–Santa Fe, NM. I sit on the patio at Mangiamo Pronto, with my Prosecco and Caprese Salad and watch what is happening around me.

Why do I love to travel? It opens up a world of possibilities in my creativity. It gives me sanity and it reminds me of the freedom I have to explore new places. I actually enjoy the open road more than traveling by plane when I can. My reason: I get to explore hidden places along the way, see the beauty of the landscape and skylines, listen to my favorite music while playing Carpool Karaoke AND if I am the passenger, dance in my seat (well sometimes, when I’m driving solo on a long stretch of highway I dance in the driver seat). Once I reach my destination I try to take advantage of what my destination has to offer: cuisine, art, outdoors, music, sports and relaxation.

Air travel is not glamorous in my mind. Gone are the days of dressing up and the customer experience; it’s more like a cattle round up (I’ll let you know if that changes when I get my own private jet). I have to be careful what I pack, plan on being at the airport two hours early (I don’t like running to the gate…I missed more than one flight because back up at security). In certain airports, I need to be prepared that once I do pass through security, that the gate will change and I’ll have to run through the airport to the right gate like Home Alone, or even better, my flight will be delayed and my original arrival time of 8:00pm becomes midnight (or more like the red-eye pushed out an additional hour and a half on the day before your fashion show).

Traveling, I only stop at exits
Wondering if I’ll stay (stay)
Young and restless
Living this way, I stress less – Nelly Furtado

Travel is not without it’s pitfalls. As I mentioned missed flights and delays, I’ve also dealt with lost luggage, getting lost in general, and if you read, I Scream. You Scream., sometimes it doesn’t start off on the right foot. One time, I actually forgot my purse at home on a west coast road trip. I didn’t realize it until we reached Gallup, NM and went to pay for something. Thank God it was my birthday (my actual birthday), so my wish that year was that no one could be mad at me when we had to turn around to get it (it added 3 hours to our first destination, Las Vegas, NV, and became comedic story later).

So when I saw the AirBNB commercial in response to the Supreme Court’s decision to uphold the ban on certain countries’ citizens traveling to the United States, it made me realize how important it is to us, as human beings, to travel to different places. We learn about cultures through the experience of sights, sounds, touch, taste and feels. We learn to appreciate differences and similarities that we all have. Our country from the very beginning was made up of explorers: from the first citizens who crossed over the Bearing Strait to the Europeans conquerors. I can’t believe we aren’t welcoming ALL just because a select few have done harm. If that was the case, I’m surprised we, as Americans, haven’t been banned from traveling to most foreign countries because of the current administration’s isolationist and divisive attitudes, and the treatment of migrant families seeking asylum.

From my view at NYU’s Women’s Entrepreneurial Festival to Urban Chicness in Nob Hill (ABQ photo via Erin Killion Photography)

My design has been influenced by the places I’ve visited. The colors, the access to fabric and materials, the sights and structures all play a role and that influence is from traveling stateside. Sometimes my photos are even printed on the materials I use.

And here I am today, again feeling the need, no, the intense craving to travel. I went into 2018, visiting NYC once again for fashion week and again being able to see NYC for the first time through the eyes of one of my best friends, Laura. A month later, I was playing at Universal Studios with my kids and enjoying the sound of the ocean. I layered this leisure with work in the LA garment district.

I went into the year planning to show for the first time internationally with an invitation to London Fashion Week, immediately contacting the BG to get to work on teaching me French because I was definitely going to cross the Chunnel into Paris for a spell.

And then life happened, as it normally does, my contract ended. The lack of income stability, car problems and other unexpected expenses zapped my bank account. Fortunately, the start of a new position is helping me get back on track and catch up on outstanding bills from a few months of being unemployed. However with the start of a any new role, no available paid time off yet, and the lack of seniority to ask for time off, I had to rethink how to fill this wanderlust. I’ve considered a weekend road trip–going to Scottsdale, but as hot as it’s been here, I opted to not spend time on the surface of the sun in July. I was also invited to go to Denver and nearly hit the road a few weeks ago but the stars didn’t align, so instead for the moment, I’ve been living vicariously through friends and family that have been sharing their domestic and international travel photos or even better yet, sending me post cards (P.S. I love receiving them! You can send them to me at PO Box 65035, ABQ, NM 87193 with the simple note…”wish you were here”). I love those photos more when they include a little Hopeless + Cause Atelier.

A family trip to the Badlands of North Dakota and Mount Rushmore included a H+CA tee (and a special young man who celebrates his birthday also on July 5th…happy birthday month A!)

I’m about half way through my birthday month, and who knows. I may hit the road to go hiking on my mountain or head out of state for a little escapade. Maybe I’ll just take the train to Santa Fe and play tourist in my favorite American-European town. I will get back in my travel grove soon enough and get that injection of inspiration (even blogging about it NOW has got my mind churning and I realized the dress I’m completing is traveling to Egypt). Until then, I keep this close to me:

I LOVE this but don’t know who to credit.

With light and love and a touch of wanderlust, and wondering, where are you traveling to?

Dara Sophia