Hi there! Remember me? How have you been? I know it’s been months and months since I last wrote. And honestly, I’ve tried, but I guess I haven’t had the right words. I’ve had several friends ask if they missed a post which made my heart happy, because they said they enjoy reading along my Ms. Adventures. I guess I’ve been in this weird purgatory type space where I haven’t had a million things going on, yet I guess I have. I’m a high-performing manic. The more I have going on the more I flourish, but when something gets in my way or I get in my head I become absolutely avoidant and check out from everything. 2024 got me feeling this way with a sense of uneasiness. I don’t know about you, but this hits differently.
2020 – the world pandemic; 2021 – I was diagnosed with breast cancer, underwent a mastectomy (5 weeks recovery) and radiation therapy (6 weeks of daily treatments); 2022 – broke my ankle and because of subsequent surgery was out of work for 6 weeks; and 2023 – had reconstructive surgery that resulted in 4 days ICU and 8 weeks recovery.
Yet through all these years I was excited to overcome these obstacles and live my best life. And, boy I did. I created beautiful memories with family and friends here at home, across the country and abroad. Since I last wrote, I traveled with my BF to NYC for the holiday season and celebrated NYE in Denver, and I survived another retail holiday season (if you’ve never worked retail, you have no idea what an accomplishment it is). I started January full of promise, big eyed and bushy tailed. I used points to book a flight to NYC for fashion week in February and a trip in April to Austin in April to be extra ears for a friend considering buying into a franchise and then my champagne dreams on a beer budget went flat.
Maybe it’s the economy? And the uneasiness of a presidential election year? And the potential of war around the world? Maybe I’m just old and pay more attention to these things than I should, but I’ve never cancelled trips before. January I got hit by major car issues and I think what I was most upset about is the fact that I was taken advantage of and paid for preventative maintenance to only find out that it wasn’t performed. At the same time I had past debt pop up…blah blah blah…we all have debt (well, maybe not everyone) but I feel like Dallas, the clairvoyant from NYC, profoundly stated years ago on 5th Avenue, “you constantly take 1 step forward and end up taking two steps back”.
One day when I was figuring out why I haven’t been ahead since 2020, I realized over the past three years because of medical expenses I’ve lost out on $25,000 in income (that doesn’t include estimated income lost from retirement savings). And don’t get me wrong, I am incredibly grateful to be healthy, to have a job and healthcare and for some reason I am incredibly blessed because God always finds a way to provide. I was working overtime and gratefully had commissioned dresses to help pay one of my debts down quickly. I was working toward another when last week I was informed, that overtime is no longer available to me. Sometimes you have to go with the flow…but I also understand how, in this economy, someone can be severely impacted by one major expense like medical or automobile expense. So, when I am asked for help, I CANNOT NOT help.
There were fashion shows and drives. At times I feel like I am the richest woman in the world because of the incredible people in my life and the opportunities that have been bestowed upon me. 2024 has been no different. In February, I was approached by another production company to show in MILAN, ITALY (yes, for fashion week). After reviewing the proposal, the 10,000 euros in production costs was out of my budget. But what do they say, “what comes around goes around?!” Last month, I received an invitation from the production company that produced my Paris Fashion Week show in 2023. The proposed production costs were a third of the former and about 2,000 euros less than Paris. This really gave me food for thought (but more on that in a minute),
I’ve battled demons that won’t let me sleep Called to the sea but she abandoned me
But I won’t never give up, no, never give up, no, no No, I won’t never give up, no, never give up, no, no
Never Give Up, Sia
A couple of weeks ago, I had my annual breast MRI. And as any woman that has dealt with breast cancer or questionable scans, you know the feeling of apprehension and anxiety and want to get through the tests as quickly as possible. MRIs are uncomfortable as it is because the tube you are drawn into can lead to a feeling claustrophobia. Breast MRI requires you to lay on your chest balancing on a rod along your sternum while trying to stay as straight as possible. Added excitement for me happens when my veins hear that an IV is coming. They immediately hide (no matter how much water I drank the day before), so that just adds to the fun. The only redeeming factor of this procedure is that the medical staff asks if you’d like to listen to music while you lay as still as humanly possible. The first time I had an MRI, I was asked the same question and big dummy me said, “I’d like to listen to Lady Gaga radio”. That was the most difficult 20 minutes in my life (how can you listen to Lady Gaga and not want to dance?). But after that, I’ve learned I can listen to Sia radio because I listen intently to her lyrics and find solace in that thunderstorm. After clicks and strumming of the machine and praise for my ability to stay still, the session was over. The next day, I received a call from scheduling, the appointment I had with my breast surgeon for the next week needed to be rescheduled. I guess my mammogram wasn’t scheduled so it too needed to be added. The woman scheduled both for August, so of course I felt that the MRI must have went well since there wasn’t a rush to meet with doctor. I went on with the rest of my week.
That following Sunday, after a full day of activities, I stopped by the post office to pick up my mail because I had been told that I should have received an invitation. I didn’t find the invite within my mail bundle but instead a letter from the office that performed my MRI. In the letter, it stated that I had just performed my screening and there was something found within that required an additional look. The letter also included a note that said most of the time there is nothing to worry about (sure tell that to someone who’s been diagnosed with cancer). And what the hell, why didn’t they call (the letter was dated the day after I had my doctor appointment rescheduled). I think my heart fell into my stomach and anxiety set in. I tried with the best intentions to just go to sleep. Monday morning, I called to reschedule my mammogram to an earlier date because of this finding. The associate on the phone was kind and helpful. She scheduled me for the next morning. I wasn’t sure there was anything to worry about but the unknowing is the hardest thing, so I went on that day working on a commissioned dress. I have found focusing on something outside myself is the best stress relief for me.
I had a one-way ticket to a place where all the demons go Where the wind don’t change And nothing in the ground can ever grow No hope, just lies And you’re taught to cry into your pillow But I survived
Alive, Sia
I arrived at the appointment. The mammogram technician asked the obligatory questions about the visit, “have I noticed any changes in my breast or did I have any concerns?” I responded about the note I received. She read her notes and said there wasn’t anything specific noted for her to image and that the MRI scan came back benign, but she would do her due diligence. If there was anything that needed a further, they’d pull me in for an ultrasound. I went through the contorted smashing of my breast and then was ushered to the waiting room. The ultrasound would be next.
This waiting room…what can I say. It is set up like a spa waiting area with water and tea available, soothing music, art on the walls and tables and a big window overlooking the dirt parking lot next door. I understand the concept but as I looked around the room at the women who were there with me awaiting their next step, one was pacing and one was softly crying. I got up to get water and offered to get the woman next to me who was in her feels a drink too. About 10 minutes later, I was called into the dark ultrasound room. The sonographer remembered me from the year before, I guess when you’re asked what you do and you say you’re a personal stylist at Macy’s, and the only one in Albuquerque, it’s a lasting impression. Although, now that I think about it, none of my medical team has come into see me after they constantly say they need to. I guess it’s hard to go from scrubs to real clothes, but I digress. After each click of the machine, I couldn’t help to think what is she photographing, but a few minutes later she gave me a napkin to clean up the goop and said she was going to get the doctor. I sat there as I heard the two of them talking when the door opened the doctor was talking about his daughter getting a fellowship to Oxford when the sonographer redirected him by introducing me to him. He went on to introduce himself say something like, “everything is clear; see you in a year.” Who says bedside manner is dead. LOL!
I put my armor on, show you how strong I am I put my armor on, I’ll show you that I am
I’m unstoppable I’m a Porsche with no brakes I’m invincible Yeah, I win every single game I’m so powerful I don’t need batteries to play I’m so confident Yeah, I’m unstoppable today
Unstoppable, Sia
I left with a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. I got in my car and said a prayer of gratitude and texted the few people that knew what I was going through over the past 48 hours. I then realized, this is my life. I all I can do is live life to the fullest every day and pray for good results but you never know what’s ahead of you. If you are still with me (and I hope you are). I’m going to share a little more how this continued to hit home.
At a recent graduation party, I was asked to highlight a verse or scripture in the Bible for the graduate to take with them on their next chapter. I was stopped in my tracks because there is so many beautiful passages and knowledge found to share that I got overwhelmed and wrote a note instead. A few nights ago, I read this passage from Romans and I was overwhelmed with emotion (so intensely that tears streamed down my face) because I thought of the suffering and struggles of the past few years. I then remembered the suffering this love experienced and how there is so much hope for the future, so I sent a text with this passage and I explained my delay and asked that it be highlighted from me with love. 🤍💜🤍 I’ve said this before, but you can’t life a full life without suffering and as much as we all hate it (I know I’m generalizing, some sadists enjoy it), it softens us and makes us more human—built by perseverance and relishing in hope and joy. I have also found that it pushes me to do all the things even when I feel it’s not possible but all things are possible through my faith and the support around me.
This past week, I was once again reminded that Life is a Gift (La Vita e un Dono). Since I began creating under the label, Hopeless + Cause Atelier almost 9 years ago, I have been gifted with some incredible people. People who have become friends and family. Creative beautiful souls that I’ve been able to bring along these Ms. Adventures all over the world. Our lives have been connected with the thread to create beauty, confidence and self-empowerment through fashion and design. Sadly, this week we said good-bye to one of those beautiful souls. I met Jocelyn Lopez in 2017 through an introduction of a mutual friend. Jocelyn, who by profession, was a hair artist jumped in to help with one of my local shows and when I had my first opportunity to show for New York Fashion Week, she relished at the chance to join me and help me bring my creations to life. I still remember the morning she, another stylist friend and I met and talked about the looks. She assembled the team and not only did we rock the hometown preview but also took NYFW by storm. Last year, when she heard I was going to Paris she asked if she could join me for hair. I sent a request to the production company asking if she could join the local team. I wish I would have pushed harder because as I wrote before, the hair team showed up late and we ended up helping the models with their hair needs. As I read her obituary, her sister wrote that one of her biggest professional accomplishments was working NYFW and that made my heart happy that I could be part of that. Her excitement and zest for life and travel will be missed, but I think I can honor her by living life to the fullest and taking advantage of the opportunities presented to me.
Again the fragility of life, reminded me to go after all the things life has to offer. It will all sort itself out. It also isn’t lost on me that tomorrow June 10th, is the one year anniversary since my gram died.
So I did it, I signed the contract and am planning to do Milan Fashion Week on September 19, 2024. I am once again planning a hometown preview to help defray the costs and provide some fashionable entertainment to my friends and family in the Albuquerque community. I am grateful that Alpha + Lit Albuquerque Santa Fe has already committed to sponsor (thank you Tanya) and Carol Crist from All About You Weddings and Events has come on board as an in-kind sponsor helping with the planning of the event because this girl can use all the help she can get. I hope you will save the date for August 25, 2024. It is a Sunday and I am planning a brunch time show for the Atelier’s 9th birthday. Once I secure the location, I’ll share ticket information. However if you know any beautiful venues, a lovely garden would be perfect, please send those ideas my way.
Until then, you can catch Hopeless + Cause Atelier at Meow Wolf’s Absolute Rubbish: a Trashion Show on Thursday, June 13th in Santa Fe. I am partnering with my beautiful friend, Sofi, to bring to life the Phoenix…guess whose music she’ll be bringing to life the look to?!?
I hope to be back soon with more information and I’ll be remixing my obstacles to opportunities, my suffering into gratitude and my avoidance to action.
I’m goin’ to fly, goin’ so high Goin’ to live, live my life Goin’ to fly, I’m so high Live my, live my life
One night in Milan is like one year in rehab Let’s cancel all our plans, it’s a- (ah, pleasure, pleasure)
May it be Your will, G‑d, our G‑d and the G‑d of our fathers, that You should lead us in peace and direct our steps in peace, and guide us in peace, and support us in peace, and cause us to reach our destination in life, joy, and peace (If one intends to return immediately, one adds: and return us in peace). Save us from every enemy and ambush, from robbers and wild beasts on the trip, and from all kinds of punishments that rage and come to the world. May You confer blessing upon the work of our hands and grant me grace, kindness, and mercy in Your eyes and in the eyes of all who see us, and bestow upon us abundant kindness and hearken to the voice of our prayer, for You hear the prayers of all. Blessed are You G‑d, who hearkens to prayer.
Telfilat Haderech, The Traveler’s Prayer in English, translation from chabad.org (my dear friend, Emet, left this voice message for me in Hebrew years ago–I listen to it every time I travel)
If you’ve known me for a while, you’ve heard about my desire to do a fashion, food, football and faith tour of Europe. Challenge (mini-challenge) accepted. Here’s how these F words and more made it into this trip…
I felt like I had just fallen asleep when my alarm went off at 4:15am. I had packed and repacked, took a shower and laid out my clothes the night before so all I had to do in the morning was dress and brush my teeth. I wasn’t even going to put my contacts in because I knew I’d try to sleep again on the first leg. Isaiah arrived at 4:25am and sent a text asking if I was awake just a few minutes before he unlocked and opened the front door. We loaded up the car and headed to the airport in a silent drive as I’m sure we were both still asleep. As he approached the Southwest drop off point, I recognized the people who were parked at the curb. Shannon and Teresa, my travel companions, had also arrived. Isaiah unloaded my bags, gave me a hug and asked me to send him text updates throughout the next day and a half of my travel.
DAY 1 & 2 – SEPTEMBER 20-21, 2023 – FLIGHTS
If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I’m a size window seat in plane tickets.
Then it hit me, right there at the airport on Wednesday, September 20, 2023, we were on our way to Paris for my latest Ms. Adventure for Paris Fashion Week. The excitement fed my adrenaline and it made me so happy to see that Shannon and Teresa were just as excited. We checked our bags at the counter and worked our way through security. It seemed like half of Albuquerque had also decided to travel on this morning, as the lines were the longest I had seen in quite sometime. We got settled and talked about the adventure ahead of us when Shannon pulled out little travel bags for each of us filled with face masks, lip balm, hand sanitizer, motion sickness patches, hand bag hooks and hat holders….such incredibly thoughtful things that set the mood to the entire trip.
Our Southwest flight would take us to Dallas for our connection to LaGuardia in NYC. We got on the plane and took what became our customary selfie, it’s what we would do throughout our travels. We had a short layover before boarding the next leg to NYC. We arrived just before 3:00pm and our international flight was departing from JFK, which with traffic could be a car ride anywhere from a 45 minute to 1.5 hours depending on the traffic, so we grabbed fries from Shake Shake (the best burger and fries joint there is…In-n-Out fans, come at me bro!), grabbed our bags and ordered an Uber. I wish we had time to grab lunch in the city or see anything more than Manhattan skyline from the traffic we experienced going from the Flushing neighborhood of Queens to the Jamaica neighborhood of Queens (and there was a lot). We checked in with more photos and packing adjustments.
We got to our gate and had a proper meal from Shake Shack. We had a little bit of time so we checked email, talked about the upcoming days and just rested. As we started to board, I could feel the excitement rising even more. After grinning ear-to-ear, as I saw Shannon and Teresa in their seats, I took mine. The captain announced all the details as the on plane safety video went into effect. I was ready for take off but our plane was not. It felt like we did a couple of laps around JFK before we finally took to the air. I started a conversation with my seat mate (I always grab a window seat for red-eye flights so I can try some sort of contorted sleep). He asked what I was going to Paris for. I explained I was participating in Paris Fashion Week. I could see the wheels turning in his head. I do not have the stereotypical look of a fashion designer. I was wearing my jogger jumpsuit, a NYC sweatshirt, and my Adidas (I know you’re singing Run DMC right now) with glasses and hair in a bun but I was also dressed this way because this was also my red-eye sleeping attire . As he asked questions on what it took to show in Paris fashion week, I explained all my accomplishments from NYC to London to major magazines like Vogue and Elle and how I received an invitation from this particular production company. I continued the conversation and asked about his travels, after we landed in Paris he was continuing on to Berlin for what I had read just hours earlier is a marathon that draws close to 50,000 participants. It was a great conversation about accomplishing goals. Dinner service started and then I attempted to wind down and hopefully get a little sleep. Sadly, I’m not one of those travelers that can fall asleep in any setting. I did get an hour or two until the pilot announced that we were on our descent. EEK we had arrived! We gathered our on board luggage and headed off the plane to a eerily empty gate. We walked for a while before we to border patrol and got our stamp for France (on my last European Ms. Adventures, I only received a stamp in France as England had gone to biometric scanning for passports). We gathered the rest of our luggage and hailed a taxi to Noisy-Le-Grand, our home away from home (and home base) for the next two weeks.
I was nervous about being in Paris. If you recall the last time I went, I was afraid that I’d have cigarettes flicked into my hair because I didn’t speak French. Since 2019, I’ve been learning the language off and on through Duolingo and watching as many French sitcoms and movies to get a better feel for the language. I definitely didn’t have a comprehensive vocabulary, but did know a few helpful phrases. When we checked in, I asked, in French, if the front desk attendant spoke English when she obliged, we got checked in and she informed me that our room wasn’t quite ready yet, but they could hold our bags while we went out for breakfast. Luckily, the front desk mentioned there was a mall just across the street…less than a 15 minute walk away. The mall, Les Arcades Centre Commercial, included a grocery store (it reminded me of my youth, going to Juarez supermarkets with each area carved out like shops within a marketplace–produce, cheese, bakery, meat, wines, etc), post office, florist, wine shop, lots of fabulous clothing shops and American favorites like Starbucks, McDonalds, H&M and Zara. However, we were seduced by Paul’s and their delectable case-line filled with pastries like Tarte de Pommes, Beignets, Croissant and Pain au Chocolate, which is what I settled on, plus a Cafe au Lait. I WAS IN HEAVEN!! After exploring a bit, jet lag set in and we settled into our room and talked about our plans for the next couple of days: Friday–Palais du Versailles and Saturday–Les Puces flea market.
DAY 3 – FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2023 – FRENCH ROYALTY (YOU SO FANCY)
Queens twirl in palaces…that’s all.
The weather was cool and a little dreary with spots of rain, but it looked like the afternoon would be clearing up. So based on the weather, we decided to get tickets for 13:30 (it’s military hours in Europe, so not only did we have to translate to PM hours but when we were talking to folks back home we had to remember we were 8 hours ahead–yes, it got confusing at times). I had predetermined a few of my looks for this trip. I had come across a pink tulle skirt at work and I thought I could make it more edgy with a muscle tee (avec shoulder pads) and kicks. When going to a palace one must twirl in a “coquette style” pink skirt. So we headed out to Versailles.
Somethings to know about Paris: 1) traffic is horrendous and 2) there is graffiti everywhere. Most of the time our Uber drivers avoided Paris proper but still it seemed like we were always stuck in traffic. We arrived to the grandeur that is know as Palais du Versailles. It drizzling and we had to get in line for our time slot, which was long, but moved rather quickly. The palace or Chateau was celebrating 400 years and had recently renovated Petit Trianon, or Marie Antoinette’s villa away from court life. I was so excited to see this and the Hall of Mirrors. We chatted with students in front of us and Americans behind us. Knowing me, you know I like to stay behind the scenes not drawing much attention to myself, but our new friends asked what brought us to Paris and Shannon, who is such an incredible cheerleader for her friends, brought up the fact that I was showing for Paris Fashion Week and Teresa was walking for me. Again, that imposter syndrome set in I just blushed in gratitude.
The palace was incredible with room-after-room of extravagance and beauty and the view of the gardens from each window was breathtaking, but the Hall of Mirrors stopped me in my tracks. It was grand and lavish and so many important world events have taken place in this room. It was one of the reasons I wanted to visit and it was well worth it. We worked our way through the military halls and other museum spaces until we came to the end and were quite famished, luckily Angelina was on the premises and we settled for a late lunch. I learned early on that wine is cheaper than water in Europe. And, it’s gooood stuff. After we ate, we decided to walk the grounds. We started out but the gardens alone seemed like it went on forever (according, to the Versailles website the palace, gardens, buildings, park and Trianon are 800 hectares or 2,000 acres).
Shannon made the right decision for us to jump on the train to get the most out of the gardens and park. As we were riding, the driver talked about certain areas that were closing. I overheard that the stop we were currently at was the Petit Trianon, or Marie Antoinette’s apartment home. I hoped off and quickly ran through the beautiful space with brightly decorated rooms filled with champagne, billiards tables, busts of the queen, even commode rooms decorated regally, and of course they had a staged “cake”. Besides the Hall of Mirrors, this was my other MUST SEE and I’m so happy I did. Friday, I’m in love…with Versailles.
DAY 4 – SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 2023 – FLEAMARKETS AND FLOORS OF FASHION
I may work in fashion but I’m a thrifter at heart.
When I decided to do a 10-hour trip to Paris in 2019, I reached out to two friends whom have family in France Sofi and Jamie, They gave me great tips to fill my hours, so when I returned I asked Jamie again about a place she has lovingly posted about over the years, the Paris flea market or Marche aux Puces. We took another Uber to Saint Ouen just north of the 18th arrondissement. We were dropped off under a bridge filled with parked cars and for a half moment I thought we were walking in China Town, NYC. The first few rows of vendors were the type I think of going to flea markets: faux luxury brand goods, electronics, and household items, but the deeper and deeper we walked the more wonderful it became. Antique shops. Shop owners sitting al fresco at their bistro tables with lunch and wine ready to make a deal to the patrons walking by. Beautiful secret gardens and historic finds like WWII badges and early 1900’s French made ceramics. I travel with my mini Our Lady of Guadalupe and St. Jude retablos and I found the perfect St. Michael the Archangel to add. We visited this sublime vintage Chanel store. It was quite lovely to see all the jewelry, bags and clothing by the house of Coco as well as the other designers contained with in.
We had our own lovely lunch al fresco. We started with dessert–a fig tart that was divine then moved on to wonderful French dishes and of course wine (it was Rose all day, pretty much everyday for me). Shannon had found a beautiful quilted Chanel bag at another vintage shop earlier in the day when she decided she must have it so we went back and it was fun to see her so giddy about her purchase. We continued on to a quaint antique shop and the shop keeper asked what brought us to Paris and Shannon talked about our upcoming days. The shop keeper shared some great ideas to continue the fashion momentum like the Musee D’orsay, Palais de Tokoyo, Musee de la Mode and Musee Yves Saint Laurent. They all sounded amazing. It would be a matter of fitting them in on our few days with nothing planned. Next, I wanted to take Shannon and Teresa to Galleries Lafayette Haussmann. Which was my introduction to Paris in 2019 and the place I got my bearings. The rooftop provides an incredible 360 view of Paris.
Of course it was quite crowded for a Saturday afternoon and my friends got a little distracted by the luxury shops: Tiffany, Louis Vuitton, Chanel, Hermes, etc on the first floor, then again on the eighth floor when they spied all the fun souvenirs they could take home, but I finally got them to the rooftop and the breathtaking view of Paris. On September 11, 2019, I arrived alone to the rooftop and shared a little video that I had made it to Paris, so of course I had to do something similar. We took a few photos and then made our way back down. It was a shopping mecca and once again Shannon was drawn to Chanel. The gals bought lots of goodies. I left with my favorite, macarons from Pierre Herme. For dinner, we settled for a local chain, Hippopotamus, known for their steak options. Shannon was thinking aloud about this option, “STEAK DE CHEVAL CLASSIQUE”. Immediately, I was glad for my Duolingo and asked her if she wanted to eat horse. She cringed and said, “no” and I was glad I didn’t have to witness that. I don’t recall what she ordered, but I chose the salmon. We returned to the hotel and packed for Rome and Nice.
DAY 5 – SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 24, 2023 – FOUNTAINS& FOOD
Life is short, do all the things.
When we got back to the hotel, Teresa and Shannon wanted to wash some clothes for the next leg and after packing and repacking, I don’t think they crashed until after 1am. I am a light packer, planning to take only my backpack for the next 4 days. Our flight out of Orly to Roma Fiumicino was departing at 7:10am so we caught an Uber at 5am. We checked into our gate and grabbed a bite to eat and coffee and as we were sitting there I realized that the flight attendants that were waiting to board “our gate” were wearing Portugal uniforms, when I looked up to see that the gate had changed. We rushed over to our new gate just in time to board. The two hour flight got us into Rome a little after 9:00am as we deplaned, we looked to go through customs to get our passport stamped. No such luck but as we stopped and looked a man asked if he could assist us. We explained our situation and he mentioned since we traveled from France we were traveling through the European Union and wouldn’t need to go through customs. At the same time another man approached us and asked if we needed a taxi, as Teresa and I started talking to him, another man approached and started taking pictures of her. That freaked us all out. The first man gave us some more advice. He said to only accept rides with the white taxis and go to the official taxi line outside. It was great way to wake us up and prepare for the time in Rome. As we drove, from the airport into the city the landscape went from fields and farms to a city filled with ancient ruins and newer buildings. Cars were parked every where…in the medians on the side walks, like Paris, the vehicles were much smaller than the US. And also like Paris, graffiti was everywhere.
I had been communicating with the hotel over the course of the last few weeks through WhatsApp. The hotel and suites, Little Queen Suite, only has an attendant from 8am to 1pm, so I made sure to let them know when we landed and were on our way. We arrived at our non-descript hotel (really, it was a large door with a buzzer and no sign overhead). I was a little nervous about what I had booked. As we walked inside, we came across the smallest elevator I had ever seen. The three of us could squeeze in there like sardines, but there would be no way luggage would fit, so I opted to take the stairs since Teresa and Shannon had small roller bags. We checked in with Marta. She mentioned that the room was being cleaned and would be ready in about an hour and suggested we grab a bite to eat. We left our bags there and headed out across the Torre del Papito piazza dei Calcarari we found a little pizza shop. The nice thing about being in Italy is that Italian is close to Spanish. Teresa is fluent in Spanish and Shannon and I know enough to get by. We settled on Arancini (heavenly fried rice and cheese balls), zucchini pizza and wine/Aperol Spritz (because when in Rome).
“Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat. Pray. Love.
Sitting there it hit me, “Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.” As I looked at the ruins around us it got a little heavy as I thought about the beginnings of Hopeless + Cause Atelier and I remembered after I delivered Jennifer her first look for Diner en Blanc how I went home and watched, “Eat. Pray. Love.” and how this line impacted me. And as I watched it again, how the word “Tutti” (Italian for everybody) came to play in those that I’ve been blessed by supporting me and those I have been able to bring along for the ride. This would be the first time I would cry on this trip, not of sadness but instead deep gratitude knowing I was meant to be there in that moment with my friends. It was still early in the day and we had received a map from Marta. Realizing that the Pantheon was less than a 10 minute walk, from there the Trevi Fountain was another 6 minute walk and less than 10 minutes was the Spanish Steps. We went back to the hotel. Our room was lovely, but the view, breathtaking. There were three of us throughout our travels so the rooms were typically a queen bed and a twin or sofa bed. Since I move so much in my sleep, I told them I’d take the later. The thing about this room is that the shower area was open with glass walls. I didn’t understand how anyone in a room that accommodates more than two people (so more than just your lover) could take a shower as it was, so we made a make shift wall out of towels for privacy. A very European addition in the water closet was a bidet. I had seen them before but hadn’t stayed in the room that had that option (and for my 50 new things goal this year, I made sure to use it). We freshened up and set out on our walking adventure. Sadly, the day before Shannon did something to hurt her knee and we were in the walking capital with thousands of stairs, but she was a trooper through it all.
It was the first Sunday of autumn and the streets were bustling with people. The weather was warmer that we had planned for. We had heard from friends and family about pickpocketing so we made sure to keep our wallets close (I wore a crossbody where the bag laid across my chest). I plugged in our destination in Google Maps and put an earbud to guide us. We arrived at the Pantheon in sheer awe. The building is thousands of years old and the magnitude of the columns and dome was incredible to believe that humans built it without modern tools, and as the YouTube link, contained within, states has been copied throughout the world through the Neo-classical style.
Unfortunately, the line was so long that we opted to move on to the next wonder. However we could feel the heat and with all the shops and restaurants, I suggested we get gelato. Now before this trip. I had no idea there were differences between the gelato in Italy. Teresa educated us on what she learned from TikTok (#fakegelato). Authentic gelato comes in metal tins to keep the right temperature and aren’t piled in mounds. Also, the colors are natural. It was funny to see us pop into the shops to see if they were authentic or not. We decided we’d find one after Fontana di Trevi. But there is so much to see along every street, we popped into Chiesa di Sant’Ignazio di Loyola, and was amazed by this 17th century Roman Catholic Church featuring trompe l’oeil ceilings (deceiving the eye–or illusionistic ceiling) & frescoes depicting St Ignatius.
We arrived with the crowds to Fontana di Trevi. Again, the incredible beauty of this man made water feature. According to Trevi Fountain Facts, “The legend holds that a coin thrown into the fountain will ensure a return to Rome. This tradition also dates back to the ancient Romans who often threw coins in water to make the gods of water favor their journey or help them get back home safely. Throw in a second coin if you’re seeking love – or even a third for wedding bells!” (https://www.walksofitaly.com/blog/art-culture/9-surprising-facts-trevi-fountain-rome). As we worked our way through the crowds, we made it to the edge to toss in our own coins. I stopped at one–LOL! After a few more photos, we worked our way out but not before we were stopped by street vendors trying to sell electronics and selfie sticks. Shannon haggled with one and got one at a good price. Though out this time, Teresa jumped back on TikTok to find an authentic gelato shop, The Gelatist, and it was on the way to the Spanish Steps. We stopped in and each got our favorite flavor. I opted for Tiramisu. I could eat gelato every day and not feel bad because I knew I’d be walking it off. As we got back on track, we stumbled upon a Sephora, realizing early on I had forgotten my signature red lipstick, I asked if we could pop in.
We made it to the Piazza di Spanga. All around us was so much to see: the Spanish Embassy, in front of us Fontana della Baracia, to the left all the luxury brands you could imagine, and to the right the Spanish Steps. There were people, people, people everywhere. I had read weeks before that you couldn’t sit on the steps, let alone stop and stand on them without the police asking you to move or citing you. Maybe they gave breaks on Sunday? Because there were people sitting and standing everywhere. Shannon’s knee was not playing nice, so she stayed at the fountain as Teresa and I walked up all 135 of them, pausing at each of the three terraces (referenced to the holy trinity) and going into Santissima Trinità dei Monti. Another beautiful and awe inspiring church. I have to admit when we got to the top I wanted to throw my fist up in the air like Rocky, but I refrained.
When we left the church we looked down to see if we could find Shannon before we made our descent. As we got to the bottom, we decided to head back to the hotel. We were all tired so we thought it would be nice to relax for a bit before we headed out. We figured out we had access to Netflix so I opted to start MILF. It’s a French story about three best friends who go to the French Rivera (une petite coquine). After a little rest, we decided to have dinner at Pasta e Vino Osteria. There was one right out side our hotel with the front door man selling the menu but there was no outdoor seating so we went to the one that was on the other corner of the street (they were literally less than 100 meters away from each other). We were sold by the hand made pasta being made in the front window and the prices. We started with Burrata (which became a must at each meal through out our Ms. Adventures) and wine and then each of us ordered a different dish to share family style. I have to admit I LOVE PASTA and BREAD, but after doing Keto for a few years I have found that I can no longer eat it because it does not love me. This was not the case in Europe. It’s freshly made and I feel like there is less genetically modified wheat used. The food was amazing and the service was exceptional, but I think that’s because our waiter was in love with Teresa. We went back to the room to finish watching MILF fully content.
DAY 6 – MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 2023 – FAITH & FASCINATION
Say a little prayer for me.
I could write a series of books on all the history we saw on this day, but this is a blog and I don’t want to loose you, so instead I hope to inspire you…so here I go.
As Shannon got ready for the day, Teresa and I went to the cafe around the corner to get espressos and pastries. The neighborhood was already buzzing. We had a scheduled tour of the Vatican and according to google maps, it was a 23 minute walk. As we got half way through Shannon suggested we take the bus or catch a cab. We got an Uber and glad we did as the route was over the River Tiber and the Vatican sits atop a hill (and we still had more that 16,000 steps ahead of us). We were dropped off at the steps of the entrance. It was filled with vendors selling scarves and other items. Dress code for the Vatican required modest dress with arms covered and if wearing a dress or skirt, midi-length and no shorts. I had brought my cardigan but it was already warm so I haggled with the vendor for a beautiful floral scarf. We were a little early for our scheduled time so we walked around and found a cute shop filled with Italian trendy fashion. We shopped for a bit and were able to hold our packages there until after our tour.
We got to our meeting site and met our tour guide, Jag. There were a dozen of us in the English-speaking group, but it was fun that not all of us were Americans. I thought the Vatican was big but I definitely underestimated the size and how much beauty was contained with. As I’ve been telling friends about this trip, I say we visited Paris, Rome, Nice, Monte Carlo and Reims, but I forgot that the Vatican is a city-state and the smallest country in the world…but oh so worldly.
We walked through the square and before we walked into the museums, our tour guide first talked about the history and the story behind the Sistine Chapel. Again, there were crowds (according to what we were told, there are nearly 30,000 visitors daily). As we walked through I was in awe of the juxtaposition of Egyptian and Roman influence against center of Catholic leadership. There were beautiful sculptures, tapestries, paintings and of course the ceilings. The ceiling frescos amazed me because I couldn’t fathom how they were painted. It’s not like Michelangelo could paint Adam take a step back to see the proportion to God and easily make the edits…from a 66′ ceiling. I was like a kid waiting for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve and while the museums were breath taking, I was SO excited when our tour guide said the next room was the Sistine Chapel. We were told there was no speaking (holy space) or taking photos (flash could damage the paintings) while we were in there or we could be escorted out by security or even worse, banned.
Our tour guide may or may not have shared a way to take photos and I may or may not have got a few (you’ll have to judge for yourself in the video). We moved onto St. Peter’s Basilica. Again, I was moved by the massive yet beautiful church. As we walked around, we found that a rosary was going to be said while we were there. What a blessing! We joined in the Italian prayer. It was followed by mass, but because we had a scheduled a twilight tour of Rome. We headed out. But first, a quick shopping stop. The gals found all kinds of good things. I grabbed a few postcards and rosaries but it was so beautiful out, I grabbed a gelato and enjoyed all the traffic in the St. Peter’s Square.
We walked back to OVS, the fashion shop, to pick up our purchases and grabbed an Uber back to the hotel where we quickly freshened up and went to Museo Nazionale del Palazzo di Venezia, our meeting spot for the next tour. We met under the balcony in which Mussolini gave many of his famous speeches. Our tour guide greeted us and there was a dozen people in our group. We walked across the street to Piazza del Campidoglio which was designed by Michelangelo. As we walked up the Cordanta through the towering twin statues of Castor and Pollux. I started geek-ing out. While I am a Catholic by faith, I’m a total Greek and Roman Mythology history nerd. We continued through as our tour guide gave us the incredible history of the area. We reached the back side and paused at the Capitoline Wolf and we heard the story of the founding of Rome. The sculpture is of a she-wolf suckling twins Romulus and Remus and like any good Roman story there is a power grab, murder and intercession by gods.
As we walked down the cobblestone path, we were met by one of the over 2,500 nasone (or Roman drinking fountains) with with cool, clean water straight from the aqueducts. After watching our tour guide quench his thirst, I decided to add drinking from a nasoni to my 50 new things to try this year. Once I got a drink, I caught up with the group to arrive at Mamertine Prison. This is where St. Paul and St. Peter were said to be incarcerated in Rome. It was a somber experience. A stop me in my tracks view of the Forum was right around the corner. The Roman Forum, aka ancient city center, was incredible to witness as I took photos, I also took mental notes to learn more about this area when I returned home.
We continued walking along the historic Monti neighborhood. Currently, it is considered a hipster area, however in ancient times it was the seedy, red-light district of Rome, and I did see some of those moments when a fellow tour participant almost tripped over a dead rat as we began our ascent up the the Borgia Stairs. According to legend, “they lead from Via Cavour to Piazza di San Pietro in Vincoli (Saint Peter in Chains). The stairs pass under an ancient building associated with the notorious Borgia family (in particular, Vannozza dei Cattanei, the mistress of Pope Alexander VI, Rodrigo Borgia, and the mother of several of his children, including Cesare and Lucrezia). Legend has it that this was the site of the ancient Vicus Sceleratus (evil street) where Tullia ran her chariot over the body of her father, King Servius Tullius, in 509 B.C.E. Years later, Juan Borgia was assassinated here after leaving the Borgia property, perhaps by his own brother, Cesare. Despite association with these violent events, the staircase is very pretty, with ivy draping down from the building.(https://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g187791-d11864837-r478680963-Scalinata_dei_Borgia-Rome_Lazio.html)”.
It wasn’t an easy feat and by this time we had walked 18,000 steps. I know Shannon was feeling it but I’m sure she had the same reaction as me when we reached the top and saw the Coliseum. OMGEEE the incredible magnitude and beauty of this graphically haunting place. We descended the hill and arrived front an center of this world’s wonder. It was glorious at night. Our tour ended there and I highly recommend the twilight tour vs. a daytime tour. It is less crowded and hauntingly beautiful. After some confusion about Uber pick up spots, we finally got our ride for a late dinner date at Harry’s Bar. We arrived around 10:30pm and it was quiet. I thought maybe we were shutting the place down, but once we took our seats it seems we drew energy in and within minutes it was bustling. It was a lavish dinner before we headed back to our hotel. Our Uber driver got stopped randomly by the police…kind of scary but we got back to the hotel to pack for our next leg.
DAY 7 – TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 2023 – FATE
Life’s a beach.
After a very late night, I still don’t think we’ve acclimated to our European time zone, Shannon and I slept in. Teresa was determined to go to mass and have the rosaries purchased the day before blessed. She came back to the room around 8am. I was up by this time and the two of us headed out to do some souvenir shopping. We headed to a religious shop that caters to priests. We stocked up on rosaries and other gifts. Teresa gifted me this beautiful sacred heart ornament. We grabbed pastries and coffee and brought it back to the room before packing up and heading to the airport. We left Rome about 11:00 am and arrived in Nice, France about 1:00 pm. As we stepped off the plane, I knew we arrived in a coastal paradise. We grabbed a cab and road along the Promenade des Anglais. The blue sky and blue waters went on as far as the eye could see only dotted by boats. We arrived at our hotel, La Villa Nice Promenade, and checked in. Josie and Jocelyn arrived earlier in the day and were on the beach taking it all in. We only had a couple of hours, at most, before we had to catch the train to Monte Carlo. Teresa and I decided to take a little walk to get the feel for our neighborhood and to see the beach.
We walked along the Promenade de Anglais and Teresa was inspired. She shared with me that her dad had gone parasailing on his honeymoon with her mom in Acapulco, Mexico. In that moment, she decided had to do that while we were there. We didn’t have time that evening so the next morning she made her reservation. We continued on and walked into Hotel Negresco. My friend, Rachel, who visits Nice often, suggested we walk through the hotel because of the amassed collection of artwork and the elegance of the building from the early 19th century. It was one of the many suggestions she provided for our visit (I just wish we had more time). Sadly, we weren’t allowed further than the lobby since we weren’t staying at the hotel. There was a hotel bar but we decided we’d come back when Shannon was able to join us. We continued down the road pass several shops and eateries. I even found a tattoo shop, but we didn’t have time for me to inquire about a mastectomy tattoo. We landed at Gelato D’Amore Nice and had a lovely conversation with the owner who was one of the few people we encountered in Europe that knew New Mexico was part of the United States and not part of Mexico. We got some gelato for ourselves and Shannon and headed back to the hotel.
We started to get ready for the evening and I had texted Josie we’d meet her and Jocelyn in the lobby. Shannon and Teresa were still getting ready when I decided to head down to meet them. As they finally came down, we ordered an Uber to get to train station. We arrived just minutes before our train was to depart so we ran through the train station and luckily got on before the train took off. Thirty minutes later we arrived in Monaco. The terrain of Monte Carlo is rugged and hilly, so upon departing the train station we heading to the casino. It was a 12-minute walk descending the hill side. While normally it wouldn’t be much of a walk, but everyone, except me, were wearing heels. We walked through the Casino Garden and the luxury shops were surrounding us. I knew high rollers lived here. We had a problem. We were probably about a 100 yards from the Casino, but there was a line to get in. It was close to 7:00 pm and Uber is not permitted in Monte Carlo so we tried to order taxis with no luck, so we were going to have to walk to La Mome for our 7:30 pm reservation. I made the reservation before we left Paris and had to guarantee it with a credit card. Late or no-show reservations would incur a 50 euros per person charge, so unfortunately we didn’t go into the casino and started our trek to the restaurant which according to Google Maps was a 23-minute walk with a steep decline and switch back. As we walked, I took in the view and imagined Grace Kelly driving down these sloping roads.
Google maps showed the path heading down hill and then switching back to the entrance but just a few minutes into our walk, I saw people in front of us duck into a space and as I looked over I saw it was the menu for our restaurant. The directions were pointing us to the entrance of the hotel that the restaurant was on the top floor of. I could feel a collective YAY as we walked into the restaurant. We were about 15 minutes early, but the hostess sat us with the incredible view of the bay in front of us.
Dinner was wonderful and the views were amazing (both the water and the waiters). We wrapped up just in time to figure out how to head back to the train. We stopped at the hostess station to see if they could help with a taxi. The hostess couldn’t assist us, so she suggested we go down stairs to the hotel front desk. We arrived and I walked up to ask for assistance. The agent informed us that the trains were on strike. We were dumbfounded and asked what do you mean? We just came in on the train. I asked if we could get a taxi back, there were 5 of us, so we’d need a van. He said he could help but couldn’t guarantee an arrival time for the taxi. It could take 10 minutes or it could take 2 hours, it just depends when the few taxis that work the area would be available. Lucky for us, a van arrived about 15 minutes later.
We jumped in when the valet asked if two young men who also needed to get back to Nice could join us. We had room and welcomed them in. We chatted on they way back the two of them were from NYC, one a corporate attorney and the other a corporate auditor. Shannon was intrigued to hear all the places to go when she and Teresa continue on to New York after Europe. We arrived outside our hotel about a half hour later. The two offered to pay for the trip it was 150 euros. The kindness of strangers.
DAY 8 – WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 2023 – FLOWER MARKET & FLYING
Of anything about this trip I wish there was more of, I wish had more time in Nice.
We got up and ready for the day and Teresa made her reservation for the parasailing adventure. I suggested we spend the morning at Marche aux Fleurs Cours Saleya. It was a lively farmers market filled with flowers, plants, baked goods (the most incredible macarons and langostino tails–sweet pastry that looks like a lobster tail filled with flavored cream, OMGEE delicious), olives and oils, cheeses, meats, soaps and other gifts. It was a great place to get wonderful souvenirs at great prices.
The late summer sun was bight and cheery, but even though we sampled a few goodies from the market we were famished for lunch. With most of the restaurants touting fresh produce and ingredients from the market. As we walked along, I found the perfect restaurant (it was like someone was guiding me). It was another incredible meal. We decided that we’d walk along the shops to do some more souvenir shopping and so Teresa could find a bathing suit. I bought a hat and pair of slides because I was roasting and could walk along the beach and put my feet in the water (I actually tried on a suit but then decided that no one wants to see that). We walked out to find Fontaine du Soleil and as we were about to get an Uber I noticed an ATM so I told the gals I was going to get some more euros. I set my pin and began the process of withdrawling money and the screen timed out to an error message in French. I left not thinking anything more that the machine was down until two days later I was charged $171 (for the 150 euros I did not get–yeah, that’s a story for another day).
We arrived at the take off spot for Teresa. She changed and got light instructions of what to expect. Shannon stayed in the shade. I walked over to the water and sat on the edge putting my feet in the cool, clear water and I was in heaven. I smiled from ear-to-ear as I watched her take off and soar through out the sky. I know she was loving following her father’s footsteps. Her ride through the sky lasted approximately 20 minutes before she plunged into the water. We gathered our things and headed back to the hotel. We didn’t have enough time to really do much else so we got drinks from the bar and some nosh. Josie and Jocelyn came down for their scheduled car, they had spent time at the casinos. Like I said, I wish I had more time in Nice. I would have liked to explore more and actually spend more time on the beach (although I did get tan after the 45 minutes out there. LOL). We arrived back in Paris later that evening.
DAY 9 – THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 2023 – FALL… IN LOVE
Nothing more romantic than a Seine River cruise with four of your friends.
Thursday was a catch up work day. It was filled with washing clothes, catching up on emails, completing tasks and binge watching Emily in Paris. Shannon hadn’t watched the series before so it was fun watching it through her eyes. We had a scheduled dinner cruise on the Seine that evening. So once again we got dolled up and headed into Paris, after a little mis-navigation and some fast running we made it to the boat for a front row view of the banks of the Seine. We enjoyed a very French meal with wine and 1980’s American music. The views were spectacular and the weather was quite warm for late September. After dinner we moved outdoors and watched the beauty of the lights from the Eiffel Tower and caught the Statue of Liberty (yes, Paris has one as well).
Once we returned to dock the boat, we found that the Eiffel Tower was a 15-minute walk so we headed that way. The streets leading to the tower were filled with vendors selling key chains and blinking miniature Eiffel Towers. We stocked up and headed through security and on to the base. It was late and the Tour de Eiffel was closing soon, so we only went up to the second floor and took a bird’s eye view of the area before we had to head down again. We left the park and got into our Uber back to the hotel. As we were sitting in our room we had to figure out travel arrangement for Reims, France the next day. After our issue with the trains in Monte Carlo we opted not to go that route but an Uber was going to be $200 one way after much consideration, we thought we should rent a car, so Teresa reserved one. We decided she and I would walk over in the morning to get it.
DAY 10 – FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 2023 – FEMINITE (WOMEN RULE THE WORLD)
You got me poppin’ champagne.
We got up early and headed out to the car rental shop. It was a 15 minute walk and we had to get to Reims by 11:00am for our tour. As we arrived, we found that no one working could speak English and our French was limited. One of the agents could speak Portuguese and Teresa had a limited understanding of it, so they tried but then landed on using Google Translate. It took us a while to process the car because they wanted to put a 2,000 euros hold (which was returned once the car was returned). Luckily, Josie came to rescue and put it on her card. We got in the car and ran back by the hotel to pick up Shannon and hit the road. Now there is crazy traffic and roundabouts everywhere in Noisy-Le-Grand but once we hit the highway it was smooth sailing beyond the occasional tolls. The countryside was picturesque dotted with fields of crops and chateaus. We all voted Teresa to drive and I was her co-pilot. We arrived at Maison Veuve Cliquot within minutes of our appointment. YAY us!
We met with our tour guide, Clementine, and the descended into the belly of the champagne cellars and learned all about the history of the house and especially The Widow Cliquot (Veuve Cliquot) who was the driving force behind the champagne industry.
Madame Cliquot innovative ways of turning the bottles removed sediment from the champagne bottles and her blend changed the murky champagne to a clear liquid we drink today. Becoming a widow at the age of 27 years old, she led the company until her death at 89. She was a bad ass! The tour concluded with a tasting. It was fabulous and of course the rose was my favorite. We got a few suggestions for lunch and headed into town. We went to a bistro with French favorites like, coq au vin. We headed back to Noisy-Le-Grand and dropped off the car.
DAY 11 – SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 2023 – FOOTBALL (AND MAJOR FAN-GIRL)
Into the Theater of Dreams…
Football or as you, Americans, call it, soccer, was ruined for me for a hot second. I brought my family into the realm of this sport as I had grown up around it. I was the one to take PTO to watch World Cup games and for decades, Manchester United has been my team. The last time I visited the UK, in 2019, I looked to see if I could make a quick escape to watch them play, but at the time the only time I could see them while I was there coincided with the day I was showing in London Fashion Week, so when I saw that they were playing at Old Trafford on September 30th, I mentioned it to Shannon and Josie. Shannon kept pushing so when I confirmed that there was no PFW obligations, I said let’s do it (this was just days before our departure to Europe). I’m so glad she pushed me, this was definitely a highlight of this trip. We had a mid-morning departure from CDG but when we arrived we found that our flight was delayed.
As I pulled up our tickets, I saw an email from the booking agent that said, “Please do not be concerned by the names on your ticket, each ticket is assigned to an individual or business name at the start of each season which cannot be changed. However, if you are asked by a steward where you obtained the ticket, it’s best to say they were given to you by a FRIEND FREE OF CHARGE. because the seller of your tickets that you bought the tickets from has enabled you to use his tickets for this event. Please do not contact the club directly regarding your ticket as this will result in your ticket becoming void.” I thought, “OH, FUCK” what did I buy. I jumped on the booking agent’s chat and asked that question. The agent responded that I shouldn’t have a problem. So I said a Hail Mary and asked God to let us in.
This trip was a same day fly-in, fly-out. We literally were there just for the game. So when we arrived in Manchester (sadly, no UK stamp) we hailed an English cab and headed toward Old Trafford. It was Teresa’s birthday, so we mentioned it to our cabbie and he played some fun birthday related tunes in her honor. As we arrived, we could see and hear the crowds readying themselves for the game. We popped out of the cab and hit the souvenir stands (I knew Isaiah was going to be mad that I went without him, so I made sure to get him a game day scarf). As we packed up with souvenirs, our driver had mentioned the Christian Ronaldo mural at one of the pubs, so I asked the gals if we could make our way there for some Instagram-able moments (LOL). I did take a photo with the legend, well, at least his mural. It’s England, so of course it was cloudy with one hundred percent of rain, but it was heavenly. We headed over to get the most delicious fish-n-chips. As we indulged, we took our surroundings in before heading in.
I was nervous but we had no problem accessing the building. Thank you, God! We were early so we did a little walk about to take it all in and grabbed a drink before taking our seats. Based on the prices for the tickets we got, I thought for sure we were going to be in the nose bleed section in the 74,000 seat stadium, but we were 6 rows behind the goal. THEY WERE INCREDIBLE!!! We watched the teams practice, the Red Devil come onto the field, and then the teams line up before the game started. When we took our seats there was a landscape of red (for all the open seats) and when the game began I could not see one open. We cheered ManU on like it was our home team and bummed when Crystal Palace got one pass the goalie. We left 15 minutes before the game ended to make sure we missed the crowds and made it to the airport in time. We found another English cab and made our way back to the airport. While we made it back in time, we hit the duty free shops. I was looking for drop earrings to add to my liquid metal dress rope ties and the gals were looking for souvenirs. Teresa had been collecting chocolates for her mom from each of the cities we visited and Shannon was looking for fun gifts to take home. We thought we had excess time only to find out that we needed to rush to our gate. This flight we had to walk out onto the tarmac and then climb the stairs to our seats, Shannon cussed a just little bit. We arrived back in Paris just after 8pm. Now it was time to prepare for PARIS FASHION WEEK.
By the time we got back to the hotel, I decided I wanted to edit one of my dresses. I had originally wanted create a cut out in the liquid metal mini dress but since my niece was wearing it for the hometown preview, I didn’t feel comfortable making it that sexy. So when I returned to the hotel I grabbed a bowel and my sewing kit (I opted not to bring my sewing machine) and copped a squat to sew, I also found some fun crystal drop earrings that I sew into the rope detail. Shannon and Teresa asked if I wanted to go out for dinner but I figured I needed all the time possible so they were thoughtful enough to bring me back some soup. Josie and Jocelyn stopped by to be outfitting in Hopeless + Cause Atelier for the show. Got them set, finished the edit and went to bed in order to be ready for the next day.
DAY 12 – SUNDAY, OCTOBER 1, 2023 – FASHION (F*CKIN PARIS FASHION WEEK) & FRIENDS
This is it. This is what you came for.
I can’t say I slept well that night. I think it finally hit me that I was participating in Paris Fashion Week and at once it was overwhelming. I mentioned feeling imposter syndrome, but it finally hit me. I am here and I deserve to be and there are so many at home that supported this incredible opportunity, so the excitement set in.
The show producers said we needed to be at the venue, Les Salons Hoche, by 8:30 am, so I figured we’d leave at 8:00 am since the traffic should be lighter early on a Sunday morning. Teresa, who was modeling for me, had to be there at the same time and I was grateful when Shannon said she join us so she could help me backstage. After the beautiful morning drive we arrived at the venue and checked in backstage we grabbed our table talked to the model coordinator and set up shop. We found Sofi a few minutes later. She had arrived two days before but this is was the first time we saw each other so after a big hug we talked runway.
The models started to trickle in and I would start outfitting them accordingly. Just a few days before, I heard from Carmen, the third model friend I was bringing with me, notified me that she hadn’t received her updated passport and was not going to make it. I sent a message to the model coordinator to find me a replacement, so as they made the rounds they updated my casting list with the models that didn’t make it and I mentioned again that I needed another model added to my line up. They obliged and I had one added just a hour before the show. During this time, Shannon jumped into action steaming the garments that had been in my bag while I was doing the outfitting. Just a few hours before the models were to take the runway, we found out there was only one person there to do hair and a dozen there to do make-up. Shannon was in disbelief with the chaos. This is not my first rodeo so it didn’t affect me as much, there is only one production company, Fashion X, out of Austin that is completely organized. Luckily, Shannon and I brought our hair tools because we had planned to get ready there. The models took them over and got ready near our station.
As I always do, I looked over to appreciate the other designers and their creations. Paris is all about Haute Couture and Avant Gard designs and they were present in this show. My design aesthetic is simple beautiful designs with unexpected elements. They are more sustainable in the way that I don’t overuse material to get my creation across. It’s social wear with a social conscience. A half an hour before the show started, the coordinator asked for all models to take the runway for a run through. Shannon and I took seats at the end of the runway and I suggested that she, Josie and Jocelyn sit there so they’d have the entire view of the runway. Shannon was going to live stream the show on Facebook for anyone who happened to be up at 6:00 am local time.
After the dress rehearsal, it was time to line up the designers. We were third on deck. I asked Teresa to open and Sofi to close. All the models were lined up when I realized I was missing a model, I grabbed as staff member to find her. She had beautifully full hair with curl and was trying to get the hair person to tame it. They were trying to send out the models when I put a halt to it until she could get dressed. It changed my line-up a bit, but everyone was set and sashaying down the runway. At the end the models lined up along the edges, like they did in the Albuquerque show and I was planning just to step out, wave and go back in, but because Shannon, Josie and Jocelyn were at the end I couldn’t see them so I curtseyed and walked out. As soon as I saw them, I was like the Cheshire Cat with a ridiculous smile from ear-to-ear.
It always seems like it takes years to get to the show and it’s done in an instant. But boy, does it feel powerful to achieve dreams. Riding on the high, we decided to go for a bite to eat. We walked around the 8th arrondissement to find one with patio seating. We grabbed tables and started talking. We had a glass of wine to celebrate friends, travel and living life (and grandmas). Sofi talked about getting to Paris and I cried the second time this trip. It made me so happy to have her there and for her to feel good about being there. We ate drank and laughed the night away. We walked Sofi back to her hotel as she stayed near the venue. She showed us the park she wanted to do the photo shoot in and she pointed out a neon sign that made me smile because I knew my angels were with me.
We got an Uber from there and headed back to Noisy-Le-Grand. It was a good day, and I can honestly say I slept well that evening.
DAY 13 – MONDAY, OCTOBER 2, 2023 – FANTASY
Make the most of every opportunity.
Josie and Jocelyn were heading back to the US so I met them downstairs in the hotel about 11:00 am. We had decided to do a photo shoot in Parc Monceau. We spent most of the morning working binge watching and washing clothes. We had two days left. We decided to take the metro into Paris and that was an adventure in itself getting to the right trains, but we did it. We met Sofi at her hotel. She and Teresa changed and we walked over to the park. Sofi is an incredible photographer but because I also wanted her to model we all took turns playing the photographer.
The purpose of this shoot was, well when in Paris you got to take some fabulous editorial photos that will be submitted for publishing. It was golden hour so and the park was filled with nannies and kids, older couples, younger couples and lots of people but we were able to carve out the space we needed with the gorgeous backdrop.
After the gals changed, we walked to a bistro for dinner and more conversation about our trip. We then headed back to the hotel via the Metro and Sofi left the next morning.
DAY 14 – TUESDAY, OCTOBER 3, 2023 – FAMILY (30 YEARS LAPSE)
This day was 30 years in the making.
There were two things I told Shannon and Teresa I had to do: 1) Paris Fashion Week on Sunday, October 1st and 2) I had to visit La Basilique du Sacré Cœur de Montmartre on Wednesday, October 3rd.
In May when my friend, Tony, died, I pulled out a box from the shed that contained old yearbooks and photo albums. Two of those photo albums were filled with photos from my mom’s trip to Europe. When my grandma died the following month, the kids came over for brunch and Cati asked if she could look at them and I said, “of course” as she was going through the pages, I stopped her on the page that contained a Mass Missal and I got chills as I read the date, October 3, 1993. When I realized I’d be in Paris on that date, I knew I had to go.
Now that we figured out the Metro I figured out how early we’d have to leave so we could make Mass. However, Shannon wanted to stop by the post office in Les Arcades Centre Commercial to find out how much it would cost to ship back some of her purchases to New Mexico. We then headed on the Metro into Paris. While we were sitting there Teresa was reading headline with her earbuds in and screams out there’s an Outbreak. Shannon and I looked her, eyes wide open and I think shushed her. She didn’t realize she was talking loud. When she took out her earbuds, she told us about the bed bug outbreak in Paris (this is something I would hear about daily from then on out until I returned home–luckily we didn’t bring any unwanted visitors home with us). We arrived at the Montmartre exit and the view from the bottom of the hill was incredible.
As we reached the steps, I asked Teresa to take a photo of me with the program and as I stood there, a flood of emotion hit me. I was at the place my mom was 30 years ago. After I pulled myself together, Shannon and I took the tram up and Teresa walked the steps. I got in the very long line to go in the church, while Teresa and Shannon were taking photos. Thinking it was going to take a long time to go in, I sent them a text letting them know. It moved much quicker than I thought and I got inside before they responded. Sadly, but luckily, I came in at the end of the service but I got to witness some angelic voices of the nuns singing. After mass ended, I went on to explore the basilica until I reached the front pews, then I went in to pray. I felt at peace and extreme gratitude wash over me. As I looked over, I saw printed missals so I grabbed one to take home with me. I then saw Shannon and Teresa and we continued on. We grabbed lunch then shopped for souvenirs and the heaven opened up for about 15 minutes of heavy rain.
After it cleared up we decided to head over to the Louvre Museum. We didn’t have time to go in as it was closing soon by we took photos outside and then headed over the garden. It had changed so much since I was there four years before. Teresa had promised to get yarn for a friend so we headed over to these quant shops found in an alley before heading back to the hotel.
DAY 15 – WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 4, 2024 – FREAKIN DELTA
Wednesday we woke early to head to the airport for our 11:00 am flight back to New York. I checked my phone and found a text message from the airlines, Delta, stating the flight had been delayed to 2:00 pm, which meant that the previous arrival time of 2:00 pm EST was now changed to 4:30 pm. We talked about what we should do and decided that we should still get to the airport early just in case the delay was shortened. We couldn’t get a large Uber, while there was only 3 of us our luggage wouldn’t fit in a smaller vehicle, so I took one and Shannon and Teresa took another. Because of morning traffic, I arrived at Charles de Gaulle about 45 minutes later. During the commute, I was texting Delta customer service to find out my options because I was flying back to Albuquerque that evening. My time between flights went from 6 hours to 3 and a half hours. I wouldn’t think much about it except that I was coming in from one terminal having to go through customs, get my bags, go to another terminal, go through security and get to the corresponding gate. I remained positive and checked-in my bag and proceeded through security. I arrived earlier than the gals who had to process their tax credits and Shannon was looking for another suitcase for her goodies.
I walked through the duty free areas and did a little shopping that I could pack in my carry on bag. I found that Veuve Cliquot was about $30 cheaper than in the states so I bought a bottle and some other treats. Then I passed the fragrance section and was stopped in my tracks. I looked at the yellow and white striped bottle and had to walk in to smell the signature scent of my mom…Giorgio of Beverly Hills. I remember being in high school and at one point I think she experienced olfactory fatigue because she couldn’t smell the scent but boy, I could. LOL! Smelling the tester I was immediately transported back in time.
I moved on to Paul’s for my last Pain du Chocolate and lunch. I gave them the meal ticket provided by Delta as an apology for the delay (dear Delta, a 15 euro pass is not enough of an apologize for the inconvenience…I’m just a little bitter, but you’ll find out why). Hours passed and our gate changed twice. As we were sitting there ready to board, the departure time changed to 2:30pm. I couldn’t help to notice that the crew was sitting with us, our plane wasn’t even at the gate. We started to board about 2:45 pm. I finally got to my seat after 3:00 pm. My seat mate was from NYC and returning from a food and wine tour of Italy (maybe next time?!?). I settled in and prayed that I made it in enough time to make my flight (Shannon and Teresa were staying a few days in NYC). We arrived in NYC after 5:00pm. I jumped off the plane waving good by to Teresa and Shannon, as I ran down the gate to get to customs, only to find the longest line ever. Then I saw a note to download the customs app for quicker processing. I did just that and jumped the line went through the corridor to another serpentine line. I made friends with the people near me as we were all flabbergasted by the non-moving line. The TSA agent mentioned that one line was moving quicker than the other, but I think he was playing a game with the travelers because when we moved to the other line it remained stagnant. I had made acquaintances with a couple when I told then of my desire to make my flight in time. The boyfriend and I stayed in the line while the girlfriend moved to the other one. She moved through through her line quicker so we popped out and joined her, when I found Teresa ahead of us. She and Shannon had downloaded the app and got into the global entry line instead of listening to the agent. I joined her and we got through in another 15 minutes. It was now after 6:30 pm and I had to get my checked bag and get to terminal 5.
By this time, our bags were no longer on the carousel but instead piled in between them. It was like searching for a needle in a haystack. Again, I lost Teresa and Shannon. Assuming they found their bags, I called Teresa to see where. She directed me and within 5 minutes, I found my bag went to the information desk and asked how I get to the air train to terminal 5. After a 15 minute, run/walk I jumped on the train and a few minutes later got off at the terminal. I descended the escalator and decided I was going to check both bags so I could make it easier to get through security since I didn’t have time to repack after my champagne purchase. I got to the bag check and was sweating profusely. I had been wearing my black NYC sweatshirt. I took it off to find I had black fuzz all over me…I’m sure I looked like I had the bubonic plague. I checked my bags and paid an additional $60 to check the 2nd bag and headed to security. Luckily, the line wasn’t as long as I was expecting. I got through and it was 7:15 pm. I walked up to the gate, just before they started boarding. I was excited to see that the arrival time listed was going to be earlier than originally scheduled. Yay! Something going my way on this return flight. I had already been up for 20 hours and I was ready to be home (funny the last trip I was up for over 36 hours but it was also filled with fun in NYC). As we were ready for take off, the captain came on over the speakers to say there was an issue with the air conditioner and maintenance had been called. Let’s just say we didn’t arrive earlier than expected. After, I got my bag and met Isaiah outside baggage claim to was after midnight. I had been up for 24 hours and was going to work the next day (dumb me scheduled an appointment for a new client…who ended up being a no show).
I’ve been asked over and over about my favorite parts or moments of this trip and it was so life enhancing, but here are a few of my favorite moments:
walking in my mom steps 30 years ago to the day
experiencing this trip with friends (thank you Shannon, Teresa, Josie, Jocelyn & Sofi)
participating in Paris Fashion week (truly grateful for all who helped me achieve this)
watching ManUtd in Old Trafford after riding in an English Cab and noshing on fish and chips
walking in awe and reflection of the work and craftmanship of our ancestors
sitting on the beach with my feet in the clear cool water watching my friend check off something from her bucket list
twirling in a palace
Paul’s pain du chocolate
praying, reflecting and meditating in so many beautiful places
moments when I knew my angels were with me (Bistro Jennifer, Giorgio of Beverly Hills in the airport)
I recently watched “Eat. Pray. Love.” for the billionth time. This time something new resonated with me, the line, “we must always be prepared for endless waves of transformation.” I have found this through my travels, the people I have met in these Ms. Adventures and loved ones who’ve taken this journey with me, and this all is possible because of Hopeless + Cause Atelier. Thank you Shannon, Josie, Sofi, Teresa and Jocelyn.
Next stop, Milan Fashion Week. Who’s in?
With light and love, Dara Sophia Romero
PS here is the photos and video from the trip (there’s a LOT)
“I want more, impossible to ignore Impossible to ignore And they’ll come true”
Dreams, The Cranberries
I am currently sitting at a work table with my friends, Shannon and Teresa, in Nosiy-Le-Grand, France, a suburb of Paris. I am writing between episodes of Emily in Paris, while the other two are working. It is a dream come true to finally be here after setting my intentions over 4 years ago. It has been a little over a month from my hometown preview and now, Hopeless + Cause Atelier will be showing in Paris City Fashion Week in just two days. And I’m continually asked, “how I’m feeling about it?” I’ve got all the feelings: gratitude, excitement, a sense of incredibility that this is really happening, and deep felt gratitude. Then when I start REALLY thinking about it, I want to throw up. As I mentioned at the hometown show, “How does this happen to girl from New Mexico?” Easy. It takes a village.
On Friday, August 25th, the 8th birthday of Hopeless + Cause Atelier, I hosted a hometown preview for friends and family who came out in wonderful abundance to support my dream of showing in Paris during Fashion Week. I have loved seeing all the wonderful photos of everyone enjoying themselves at the show and of course, the beautiful videos and still shots they took of the models on the runway. If you’ve ever hosted an event, you will understand that putting on a fashion show is no easy undertaking…especially with champagne dreams on Papst Blue Ribbon budget, I was the promoter, web developer, accountant, cater, volunteer coordinator, set and seating designer, director and program master, cat wrangler, oh and fashion designer. I’m pretty good at organization because I’m kind of a control freak. However, the hardest part for me is that I have no control over ticket sales (especially, since I live in the land of manana) and it’s super stressful to guess on seating layout and food when people are texting you the morning of the show looking for seats (and when every single day throughout prior week, I post over and over and over that ticket sales are ending two days before the show 🤪🤣), but I digress. I went into this show with the assumption that the audience didn’t know about my little atelier and that I would take them through journey with me. I also wanted to take the opportunity to honor my grandmother and her impact on this passion project of mine. And because I try to weave community in everything I do, there were added moments. Before I talk about the twists and turns of the event, I’m going to take it back a few weeks.
The last time I wrote, my gram had just died. I went through all the emotions and then some. Her funeral service in Albuquerque was beautiful, filled with her family’s involvement, a slide show of wonderful photos, a moving eulogy, special music, a priest that knew her and a reception filled with stories, laughter and good food. I know she was watching from above with a smile on her face. But it wasn’t enough for me, I wanted it make sure everyone in the audience knew her and her impact on me and this atelier. I also knew she would want me to live my life to the fullest. And living your life to the fullest means bringing others along with you. The production company I am working with provides the models for the show. I had three models, who became dear friends, that were willing to travel to walk for me. After weeks of asking, bugging and pleading, I woke up one Saturday with an email from the organizer saying they could not only walk in my show, but he’d put their comp cards in the rotation for the possibility that they could walk for other designers. I remember feeling as happy if not happier that I could tell them that they were in. I think it impacted me so much was because I could help others live their dreams too.
Ticket sales were trickling in. Wonderful sponsors were supporting me (thank you Carla Aragon and Allen Lewis, Esther Otero-Martinez, and my wonderful anonymous sponsor and again to Tanya Robinson & Alpha Lit). During this time I celebrated a milestone birthday, traveled with friends to Nashville, Santa Fe and San Diego, and participated in my grandmother’s funeral mass. Again, I have not witnessed anything more beautiful. All these life events bleed into my ideation for the event. The overall theme of the event focused on dreams and the dream makers that made this a reality. The VIP seats’ swag included custom soaps, lavender sachets, candles, and face masks to help the attendees “curate their own dream”. I created the videos to tell the story of the last eight years (and beyond) because the dream of becoming a fashion designer began in high school. As friends and family members purchased their tickets, it made me happy to bring together an audience of such amazing people that I believe should know each other. My models were made up of different ages, ethnicities and sizes, just like the women I design for. I was so grateful that I could have two of my loves model for me for their first time: my niece, Athea, and Averie (that was a last minute add that made my heart happy). Some great photographers came through and my prayers for a beautiful voice to sing “Buenos Dias Paloma Blanca” were answered by Ane Romero.
As asked weeks before if I was ready, my customary response was, “I will be”. I know as a control freak I should have said “yes, I’ve been ready for months” but that’s where my creative side kicks my butt all over the place. I may have an entire collection ready but as I get closer I nix it and start all over again. But the night before, I had the collection set and program done, so at 2pm I was joined by Allison, Eilene, Natalie and Stephanie at the venue and started to set the scene for the show: putting together gift bags, prepping the clothing, placing tables and chairs to the seating chart. Alpha Lit and Blown Balloons showed up to start the decor. At 3pm, the models and beauty team started to arrive and got to work putting together the hair and make up based on the look book. I started outfitting the models for their three looks. About 5pm, my brother arrived to figure out the best way to utilize the A/V and my daughter arrived to set up her DJ booth (I told you it was a family affair–Isaiah and Brianna, were there in spirit as they were finally taking their honeymoon in Seattle). We started setting up the food and Leola was picking up last minute items. Guests started to arrive just before 6pm. I asked that guests arrive before 7:15pm to ensure that no one was arriving during the show. Mercury was in retrograde so of course there was technical and communication difficulties, but we just rolled with it (and I included the links for the videos if you want to see the story).
I designed the program to be in three parts. The first part, Story of My Life, showcased my beginnings in design, how I almost walked away and the inspiration and support of those around me to create and celebrate.
The second segment focused on my gram, Catalina Romero, her influence on my life and the atelier.
This segment started with video. Then, Ane took to the stage to sing. She was such a blessing to this event. I had put out a request for mariachi singers but the ones who responded were sadly a little too rich for my budget, when Sofi suggested her cousin, Ane. We connected immediately and there were so many coincidences from her last name, her family background and the fact that she had wanted to learn this song, so much so that it gave me happy chills (especially, when she arrived wearing a lilac dress–one of my gram’s favorite flowers). She was perfect. I just wish I could’ve been sitting in the audience with you for this.
The final segment, Dreams Take Two, took the audience on a journey with me when attended London Fashion Week and spent 10 hours in Paris. That was when I made the decision to try for Paris. This was 2019. I started the process working with another production company, when the pandemic hit…and then my cancer diagnosis…and then my broken (and surgically corrected) ankle…so when I received the invite and sought feedback about a show supporting the production costs was overwhelming supported. I knew this was the year (especially, since I had already planned to go to Paris). But I had no idea how wonderfully supported I’d be. My incredible friends and family outside of Albuquerque, friends of friends, friends who brought friends, and incredibly generous sponsors. I am tearing up just thinking how truly blessed I am–THANK YOU!!
As I spoke of my own journey, I asked Allison Hendricks-Smith the founder and ED of Pink Warrior House to share her own, and how the organization supports warriors on their own journey. Then the models took to the runway for the last time.
As they all headed out for what is know as the carousel walk, I joined them to a standing ovation. It was such an uplifting experience, with so many people I love in my presence. I hope everyone felt it to and enjoyed the evening.
Thank you to the models, beauty team, photographers, volunteers, sponsors and patrons for an evening that took my breath away. In TWO days, I will be living this dream. If you would like to come along, I am asking Shannon to live stream the show (6am Mountain time on Sunday, October 1, 2023).
And you asked me what I want this year And I try to make this kind and clear Just a chance that maybe we’ll find better days ‘Cause I don’t need boxes wrapped in strings And designer love and empty things Just a chance that maybe we’ll find better days
Better Days, Goo Goo Dolls
It’s the first evening of 2021. I think everyone is nervous and even the atheists are praying that 2021 is a better year (and over the period of writing this blog, some absolutely horrific things have happened…all in the first week of the new year…yet I choose not to address it here). In years past, many of you reading this, including me, would be verbalizing and/or writing out (to keep ourselves accountable) our New Year’s resolutions. As much as I try to focus on the good, especially because I have a tendency to have bad luck and try not to get pulled into the dark side, 2020 was hard. So instead of resolutions, I am taking a different approach, I am reveling in what was revealed to me in the past year. My own epiphany of sorts.
I have had years where I had resolutions or maybe just goals, thought out with a plan of accountability to ensure completion. However, I have found when I go into the year with a growth mindset (and believe me there were those years that I had anything but…more depression and just not wanting to face the year), I find that I have revelations about myself and the world around me going into the next.
I wish everyone was loved tonight And somehow stop this endless fight Just a chance that maybe we’ll find better days
Better Days, Goo Goo Dolls
Hablas? Parles? Snakker Du?
I started on a language learning app almost immediately when I thought I was going back to Paris. I stuck to it, daily throughout 2020, even investing in watching French shows and movies (my favorite Netflix’s “The Hookup Plan” sitcom…which also includes an incredibly accurate, Parisian version, special episode dealing with the worldwide Stay At Home order). I have a number of French words floating in my mind that I hope come out in conversational form when I do return. I even continued with watching one of my favorite Netflix series “The Hookup Plan”. I even watched the Norwegian sitcom, “Hjem til Jul”, for the holidays to see what was similar to the English language (it’s a super feel good and fun watch even with subtitles–highly recommended).
However, I have found it is very much like the seven years of classroom learning, it doesn’t stick unless you have daily conversations with it. However, since my return to Macy’s, after furlough, in May. I have had many wonderful conversations with the team that works tirelessly to create a clean and safe atmosphere for the staff and customers. This team is primarily Spanish speaking with little English understanding and I am the opposite. Speaking in Spanglish and Google translate on occasion.
I try more and more every day even if I don’t sound proficient, at least I’m trying. On the daily we talk about business, how tired we are, the messes people make. One woman has blessed me with rosaries one for me and and one my gram. I’ve also written a letter of support for her to become a naturalized citizen. Another we talk about our background where we come from…for some reason she thought I came from China. I responded, “soy de Nuevo Mexicana y mi familia están de nortena Nuevo Mexico” (I didn’t say it was good…but I’m trying). What I learned is that the best way to learn a language is to immerse yourself in conversation with someone who doesn’t understand your language because you will find a way to communicate, breakdown barriers and create understanding.
Because of the pandemic we have been isolated for the most part, utilizing technology and social media to connect with others, but I truly believe that connection is lost in translation. We have gone from listening and trying to understand where the other person is coming from to saying what we have to say and leaving it there, sometimes to the detriment of isolating and vilifying others.
I need some place simple where we could live And something only you can give And that’s faith and trust and peace while we’re alive And the one poor child who saved this world And there’s ten million more who probably could If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them
Better Days, Goo Goo Dolls
Nothing is guaranteed
If we can say one thing for sure about 2020, the best laid plans were canceled, postponed or altered. Because of the virus, it was a year that reminded us how fragile life is. While I did my best to socially distance and create a healthy environment for me and those around me, I was reminded how much I need to relish moments. Cherish accomplishments, no matter how small.
I started 2020 with the idea of Sunday Supper. I asked a few dozen friends if they wanted to join me in supporting a local restaurant and their hosted bartender competition event. I hadn’t gone into the event thinking it was a “Sunday Supper” but as I looked across the table, I saw people from my childhood different parts of my work and community life but all whom I’ve loved and was happy that they could join me.
That Sunday night in January, I decided I would create a monthly Sunday Supper and send invites across the board, support a local restaurant, create conversation and connection with people who maybe had not met each other before. I was able to host one more large gathering before the Stay At Home order went into effect.
From March through June, those Sunday Suppers became smaller and because I lost track of the days they hit other days of the week and were primarily with one or two other people. When I didn’t have anyone join me, I tested recipes in cooking, baking and mixology (I had just renewed my server’s license so I could host events in my space at work, that was kind of a waste lol). I also happily delivered them to friends and family.
Then I had a dream in late spring. I dreamt about a big table out in the field where I hosted and made dinner for those who had congregated with me. I decided I would host a dinner in by back yard. There would be a maximum of a dozen people two separate tables and I would make the meal. I became a uncomfortable hosting that size of group, because socially distancing would be fine outside but what if it got too hot (it was early July) or started to rain? So instead, I hosted two separate events. The first morning brunch with my minis and my brother and sister-in-law (and delivering the meal to my gram and aunt Lisa). The second, that evening with socially distanced tables in a private space at one of my favorite jaunts. It was an Italian themed meal where I once again connected people from different parts of my life. I sat back and enjoyed watching the conversations, smiles and laughter.
Seeing how the restaurant community was struggling with all the health orders that were particularly stringent upon them and also hearing about the uptick in numbers and new protocols put in place for the non-profits serving our neighbors experiencing food insecurity, I pulled together a group of chefs and non-profit leaders to create #EatOutToLiftUp. The plan was to host a community-wide event on the first Sunday that would have been during Balloon Fiesta. Each participating restaurant would offer a special menu for dine-in or take out and all the proceeds would benefit their partnered non-profit. But to ensure that the restaurants costs were covered, so all the proceeds from ticket sales would benefit the hungry, I had to reach out to my network and this concept in the middle of a pandemic when these businesses/organizations had already been in the trenches supporting the community during this time. It was hard work and at one point I didn’t think I’d be able to pull it off…but thankfully for Laurie at PNM, Maria supporting her brother’s work through Paz Fine Arts, Serena with Lovelace Health Systems, Michael with The Jennifer Riordan Foundation, Nathaniel with Sandia Labs Federal Credit Union, and my own Macy’s support team, they took a chance and incurred costs were covered with even additional sponsorship proceeds benefiting the non-profits further. To raise additional funds I asked friends and family members to purchase gift cards to their favorite local establishments for the raffle and over 100 meals were purchased that day from the participating restaurants….it was the biggest Sunday Super I could have imagined…and as Martin Luther King envisaged in his own time, people came together from diverse backgrounds to take action to address the needs of our community.
While it is so difficult for me to ask for help, what I learned was that people genuinely want to be involved in something that can create positive impact, they just need to be asked. For those of you reading this who participated as a sponsor, purchased gift cards and/or bought tickets to the event, I have overwhelming gratitude for you.
Life is fragile
So much loss has happened in 2020. I know many people who have lost someone to COVID and for that reason, the last time I was in close proximity to my gram was in February for my KK’s birthday. While I would do drive-by’s, run-by’s and video conversations, I miss her immensely. Luckily, there have been moments that I have been able to see loved ones but I think this has hit me the hardest. I also was reminded of the importance of enjoying every moment with loved ones and just how fragile life is.
In April, my beloved Kiki crossed the rainbow bridge. Honestly, it broke me. I was shattered because she was my spirit animal. Yet, I was tremendously grateful that I wasn’t working in her last days. The last month of her life she wasn’t mobile, so I would carry her and walk Chibi several times during the day so she’d get fresh air and “do her business”. Many afternoons, especially on warm spring days we would sit out on the golf course and I’d blow bubbles while rubbing her tummy and Chibi investigated our surroundings. My heart still aches and smiles when I see photos of her.
We lost some incredible human beings this year…it’s not different from any other year…as perfectly said in Black Panther, “everybody dies”. I think it hits us differently when it’s before their time or when we aren’t ready to let them go. I don’t know why the news of Chadwick Boseman’s death hit me so hard, but it did. I think it reminded me of the incredible trip me and my minis had to Cali in spring 2018 and how his talents were a small but impactful part of it. We had the most perfect day at Universal Studios. In the first time in years, I saw their youthfulness as we went from ride to ride without wait, filling the day hitting every single one (even the horrific The Walking Dead one) and to top it off we decided to see Black Panther at the AMC in the City Walk. Isaiah had us listen to the soundtrack on our road trip to Cali and so I was excited to see the blockbuster. I was enthralled by this movie and its star (and have honestly watched over a dozen times). In the days following his death, I remember reading about dispelled rumors saying he was addicted to drugs due to his appearance and because he was a private man, he didn’t openly let the world know that he was battling cancer. This cemented for me, that you never know what someone is going through…so never jump to conclusions and always be kind. Chadwick (link included to his graduation speech at Howard University 2018) was a bright star that was extinguished WAY TOO SOON.
In September, after a mysterious call and a conversation with my brother, I found out that my biological father had died. It was a range of emotions for me because I truly didn’t know how to respond to this news. I was angry. I was feeling guilty because I didn’t initially feel the grief that a daughter should feel for her father. I was sad. I was sad because I’m sure he was alone when he died and I truly believe no one deserves that. This is what addiction does. I finally found out a few months later that probable cause of death was an overdose. Addiction never goes away. It separates you from all you love and takes control of your life. You become a slave to it. However, I am glad that he has finally broken those chains from addiction and I pray that he has finally found peace.
As I write this blog, and recall all these memories, I am dealing with my beloved Chibi who is no longer choosing to eat or drink water. He slowly passes the casita in silence. I have spent the day, between tears, trying to get him in to see a vet and yet, COVID has played the trump card in the number of patients clinics can see. I am hoping this is just an ailment and he can recover because I don’t know if my heart can take another loss so soon. Updated: Chibi passed in his sleep sometime between the night of Friday, January 8 and the morning of Saturday, January 9, 2021. My hope is that he is reconnected and snuggling with his Kiki.
For everyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one this year, my heart goes out to you. May you be comforted by wonderful memories. Don’t take time spending with loved ones for granted. Don’t be afraid to tell and show them how you feel. Be kind because you never know what battles someone is dealing with.
Smiling is my favorite
There is no comparison to a smile. While you can kind of see it in your eyes or hear it in the inflection of your voice, a smile is the first thing you can see about a person from across the room and prior to 2020 mine would be painted in vibrant red with mouth of teeth gleaming…most of the time it was Chandler-esque. I miss having that accessory on display. I miss human touch. I started 2020 in the most incredible embrace. I continued the next month in NYC and back in ABQ dancing the night away and smiling all through. We all learned rather quickly that an embrace or being too close to someone could possibly be lethal. This was one of the hardest thing to learn this year. I am a hugger.
To help me from falling into that dark place. I did things to keep me in feeling good. I couldn’t go dancing with friends so incorporated belly dancing into my daily exercise routine. It was a nice balance between yoga, core, running and walking. I got outside more. I think I calculated over 40 miles walked on the bosque when I was on furlough.
My creative side moved toward culinary and mixology skills until I was was inspired to work with other artists and bam it was the injection I needed. I still have my moments, but I think all creatives do.
When I returned to Macy’s, I decided since I couldn’t wear a colorful lip I would instead focus on my clothing, many times being teased by being asked, “why am I so dressed up?” I am in the business that I am because I truly believe in the power clothing has on a person, in their comfort and in their confidence. Feeling comfortable is empowering and confidence helps you to take on the world.
“We don’t allow kids to reject hope. ‘Hope is the only thing that can allow children to heal and move forward.’ Heath Kull”
from The Ranches website
This feeling was exacerbated when I was asked to style youth from The Ranches. Just before Christmas, a dozen young men were surprised with a before hours VIP shopping event. They were to receive an outfit purchased by new and dear friends, who are board members of The Ranches. When they arrived, I greeted them with my partner for good, Lee. I gave them a small Macy’s bag. That bag included a small bottle of cologne, a coupon for a Starbucks drink and cookie, and a Believe bracelet. I informed them why they were there and I told them about their goodie bag but especially their Believe bracelet (the Macy’s Believe project has happened annually for 13 years and supports the Make-A-Wish Foundation and the proceeds from these bracelets benefits the org). The goodie bags were my gifts to them. I told them that there are many people that believe in them in this community.
The gratitude, the sparkle in their eyes and that confidence I saw that morning once we put together their outfit, made my heart full and I only cried, tears of joy and gratitude after they left. We had to postpone the young ladies visit due to a COVID outbreak, but I can’t wait to assist them. Sometimes I see what I do compared to others in this world and I think fashion and retail is shallow. Then I’m reminded that everyone has power to make a difference. Thank you Allen and Carla for inviting me to participate.
Pivot. Pivot. PIVOT!
I don’t know anyone who didn’t have to pivot in 2020…whether it was the sparkling-eyed bride and groom that were going to have the 2020 wedding, the individuals that were going to ROAR into 2020 or going into the year with 2020 vision. I too had the best laid plans. First, planning to make the jump into Project Runway after 5 years since my first application. Then in September, I was going to make my mark in the Paris Fashion Week. I also was coming up with a year under my belt at Macy’s and finally felt like I was going to do big things and then the world shut down.
As I look back, while I didn’t achieve those accomplishments, I did have some pretty stellar ones.
Hopeless + Cause Atelier’s designs were showcased in another world renowned fashion magazine.
Customers and friends showed their support for Hopeless + Cause Atelier and my work with Macy’s. I was recognized by Albuquerque the Journal and I could talk about my gram again and her encouragement and help in my passion project.
While not traveling as much as I hoped to in 2020, I still was able to visit NYC during both seasons of Fashion Week (September of course was quite different). My BF took me to Santa Fe for my birthday and I was able to sneak away to our family ranch for some reprieve when I needed a reminder of the beauty in our own backyard.
I didn’t get to show in Paris, but the dream isn’t dead yet. I did show some fun and collaborative designs in an outdoor runway here during the #EatOutToLiftUpEvent.
When I was brought back from furlough I was immediately brought into virtual sales training. I started the year with my primary goals focusing on return business, wedding registries and community events, all with high level engagement. I had to learn new business and pivot from being an one-on-one, in-person engagement stylist/shopper to a virtual one. While the universe challenged me, many of my appointments and meetings were via Facetime/zoom or on the phone (and those of you who know me know how much I love this type of interaction). However, my wonderful community supported me while I supported them.
My dear friend, Roberta, pulled me in to support her work at the National Hispanic Cultural Center Foundation’s annual Maravilla fundraiser. It took a virtual look this year and I have to say, the team hit it out of park. And as NM ALWAYS proves, it is only two-degrees of separation. I was once again connected with the most incredible people and as I talked with new friends, I learned we actually had a long, rich history.
Friends from the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce and KRQE’s NM Living also helped me during this crazy time. Inviting me to join in on a Zoom appearance and submit a video talking about my work, respectively. It totally took me out of my comfort zone because this was live or something I had to review before submitting and because I fixate on my mannerisms and seeing myself on the screen…it was a daunting task for me, so much so that I actually joked on my NM Living outtakes that is was my 561st take.
Then I was happy to be reconnected with a friend through a mutual friend, just days before the Christmas holiday. I was asked by Jennifer, to participate on Facebook live event talking about fashion, entrepreneurship, and personal styling for Cafecito con Colon with Brian Colon. I always say I can talk fashion all day long. I did for approximately an hour in this segment.
I wasn’t able to host many big, in-store events, but that doesn’t mean as a local division of America’s department store, we weren’t able to have positive impact on the community. With donations, grants, or change round ups supporting: Barrett Foundation, Roadrunner Food Bank, Girl’s Inc, Make-A-Wish Locker 505, the National Hispanic Cultural Foundation, Albuquerque Hispano Chamber of Commerce, American Heart Association’s Go Red for Women, United Way of Central NM’s Mission: Families and drives or personal volunteerism support of Casa Esperanza, United Way of CNM’s Women United, Beds 4 Kidz, The Ranches, and YDI/Job Corps Headstart (to name a few), my biggest pet peeve is to hear and read posts to only support local businesses. Both small and large, and for and not-for-profit are vital to having healthy communities. I have worked in all areas so I know the importance of working together to better all.
This year taught me that sometimes you have wander uncharted territories and do things that take you out of your comfort zone (every time I think I’ve gone further outside, the universe reminds me that nope, I still have growing to do). And even when you think you may not have accomplished much, take time to revel in the fact that no accomplishment is too small.
So take these words and sing out loud ‘Cause everyone is forgiven now ‘Cause tonight’s the night the world begins again
Better Days, Goo Goo Dolls
My wish for you going into 2021 is health, happiness and prosperity. Be kind: to yourself and to others. Dream. And, commit to making those dreams into reality. Revel in the smallest accomplishments (with bubbles and and dancing).
Don’t take anything for granted. Life is finite. The only regrets you should have are the things YOU DID DO not the things you didn’t do. Revel! Dance! Drink the elixir of life. I can’t wait for the day to smile in your presence and give you the biggest hug. Let’s make this world a better place.
I wish everyone was loved tonight And somehow stop this endless fight Just a chance that maybe we’ll find better days
Do you ever feel when you wake up you are in the “Dream Revelation” from Dallas? Now some of you reading this might not understand this reference–GOOGLE IT! It’s basically, when everything from the past year just goes away because it was only a dream. We couldn’t write a more bizarre story than 2020. I should be designing and preparing for Paris Fashion Week which would have been less than a month from now, but that wasn’t in the cards this year.
Today, August 25th, is Hopeless + Cause Atelier’s Birthday. While I’ve been designing under the H+CA label for only a few years, it has been a part of me since I was in middle school. A memory popped up and reminded me of how it came to life.
Five years ago today, I delivered my first creation to the woman that pushed me to design. After I absolutely loved the way she looked in it and her faith in me, I took the time to write her a note…
“Do you remember what you wanted to be when you were growing up? Well, I wanted to be a fashion designer and when that didn’t happen, I moved on until life brought me back to that childhood dream. After failure, I wasn’t sure I could continue in this space.
One afternoon, I was watching ‘Eat. Pray. Love.’ I remember reading the book years before and thinking, ‘what is wrong with her?’ She cried throughout the book and it annoyed me so much. I wanted to shake her and say, ‘snap out of it!’ It wasn’t until this year that I understood. Well that afternoon, I cried throughout the entire movie. I was in a state of depression and despair and then there was a line that really struck me.
The line was, ‘Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.’ And being the Catholic girl that I am I reached out to St. Jude for inspiration…the saint for hopeless causes. I said a prayer and asked for guidance and an idea struck me.
I’m a HOPELESS fanatic of fashion. I’m a HOPELESS believer that everything happens for a reason and you should use it to drive or inspire you. And, because I’m human, I feel HOPELESS at times so I give others hope to be who they are meant to be. Life is filled with CAUSE & effect. What if there was a fashion line that supported: livable wages, eco-social practices, and gave back? Now wouldn’t that be a CAUSE to get behind…and just think of that effect. Hopeless + Cause Atelier”
Since then…Hopeless + Cause Atelier has connected me to some incredible people. I have been able to show my designs in my hometown, of Albuquerque, New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Austin and London. H+CA has graced British Vogue, GQ, Vanity Fair, Elle and several local and international fashion magazines….honored to have graced a few covers. But most importantly, Hopeless + Cause Atelier has been apart of some of life’s most important events, and I am so grateful to be a part of that.
When I rewatched, “Eat. Pray. Love.” I gained something new. ♥️
“When you set out in the world to help yourself, sometimes you end up helping tutti <everybody>…that’s the lesson, isn’t it?” – Elizabeth Gilbert
This last quote from the movie has been playing in my mind a lot lately. I’m not able to show on the world stage this year, but I pondered the thought of going back to my roots and doing something for my community. I gathered a few chefs that I had been scheming with before COVID locked us down, pulled in some friends, and serendipitously connected with the right non-profits. Because…
We, as a community, have not experienced a year like 2020. Business is not happening as usual and many have had to close, while others have come up with creative ways to survive, thrive and support others. Non-profits working in the field of food security have supported individuals and families in record numbers over the past 6 months.
Four (4) restaurant partners have agreed to open up their doors creatively (via picnic take out or patio dining services) to for an event not seen before in Albuquerque. Working with incredible chefs and their corresponding restaurants, a volunteer team is putting together a community-wide event to support small business and local non-profit organizations working in the space of food security.
The plan is to secure sponsorships to cover the costs of the event, while purchases through take-out orders and on-site patio sales will go directly to the non-profit partner of that restaurant.
I’d also like to broaden my reach in supporting small business. If you have been blessed, working, and have disposable income during this time, I am asking you, reading this blog today, if would you be interested in purchasing a gift card to your favorite local shop? I’d like to host an online silent auction in conjunction with this event, but I know small businesses get hit up all the time to support community fundraisers…this time I’d like the community to support them. In buying a gift card, you are providing a cash infusion and the winning recipient is introduced to the business either through their website or in person.
I’m not asking you to purchase today. I’m creating a list to see who would be interested in participating in something like this, with a minimum purchase of $20. So if compelled, reply YES in the comment below or send me an email at [email protected].
And because we like to have fun, this is a people’s choice competition. The restaurant that has the most in sales that day will be deemed the winner with bragging rights…so the community can support their favorite restaurant, creative menu or favorite non-profit. For more information about #EatOuttoLiftUp, click HERE. And, please share with your network.
With light and love (and some shenanigans for good), Dara Sophia
I am on Day 6 of social distancing. Macy’s made the brave decision to close its stores on Tuesday, March 17th. I was actually home that morning because I had chemically burned my cornea the day before and wore my contact throughout the day and was in pain and couldn’t quite see out of my right eye (only me right?!?). I’ve passed the time prepping for my Project Runway interview, taking lots of walks with the pups, baking (and trying not to eat it all), cleaning, working on projects that I have put off because I didn’t have time, and dancing around my house while drinking wine (what?!? times like this call for measures like that!!)
How are you all doing? Are you still working? Do you have all you need to get through this time of flattening the curve? I’d love to hear from you (you can comment below or text or DM me). And I’m sending you a big virtual hug until I can again, and a big cheers to your health, your safety and your sanity.
Since so many have asked, I thought I’d provide an update on my Project Runway path. If you’ve been reading along, you know my application was accepted to move forward in the second round, an in-person interview. It was scheduled for Wednesday, March 18th in Austin, TX. I reached out to my friend and incredible model, Carmen Powers, to see if she would model for me and if she could round up another 3-4 models to join her. She graciously accepted and got to work recruiting. Looking at flights it was going to easily cost $600 and upwards to $850. I figured I’d fly in on Tuesday, March 17th and fly out the evening of March 18th. There was an 8PM flight that would get me in just before 11PM on Wednesday which would give me the day to prepare for the interview. My plan was to fit the models on Tuesday and that would give me time to tailor my creations to make sure the looks would work for the next day. I asked for a 3PM CST interview on the the 18th. I was set and ready to go. However because of the cost of airfare, I wasn’t going to be able to purchase my ticket until Friday (the next pay date).
I went on to focus on the work that I loved at Macy’s. I met with so many friends that were still braving shopping in person (I AM SO GRATEFUL TO YOU FOR THAT). Evenings, I spent trying to determine which looks would best represent me as a designer and would provide a range of my work. I paused for a moment and thought about adjectives that best described my design aesthetic:
sustainable
edgy-demure
community
simple beauty
I thought I had the perfect cohesive, capsule collection of who I am and how I design. Now, I needed to get through the week, where life was changing day-by-day. And on Thursday, it changed to pivot to what was happening around the world.
Early that evening I received a call, not being at a place I could answer, a few minutes later I received a text to call asap. I realized it was the casting person, Rebecca, I had spoken with prior. After work, I returned the call. All in-person interviews had been canceled. I was to be interviewed via Skype by the casting director and the fashion director. After the call, in which it seems was multiple calls by my host, I reached out immediately to Carmen and informed her what had happened. I thanked her and told her this wasn’t the end…more to come! I sent texts to my go to models locally, first with the wrong date and when I snapped updated with the actual date – March 18th. I then went out to Facebook and Instagram.
I received a response from my friend, George, who is the director of events for the Hyatt downtown that he might have a space for me. I also received responses from other models I had worked with and Facebook connections that suggested others. I asked for comp cards to be emailed to me so I could see measurements, looks and find the appropriate model for my collection pieces.
Saturday, at work, was like a ghost town. Still, I wasl so grateful for those that came in specifically wanting to work with me but I ended up spending more than I made that day….anxiety shopping.
A few months ago, I invited a group of friends to join me at Hollow Spirits for their bartender challenge. What I found from overhearing the conversations and people from different aspects of my life coming together, is that there isn’t much that separates us, but something so easy as a family-style dinner is a great way to spend an evening. I continued it in February at M’Tucci’s new restaurant with plans to do a Sunday Supper once a month at a local establishment. Knowing the road ahead of us all, I reached out to them and said I was going to postpone the engagement until it was safer for a large group to be together. Instead, I asked that they spend their $25 that they may have spent on that dinner, supporting a local organization.
At the end of my day, I reached out to my friend, Lee, and asked if she wanted to meet up after work somewhere local following my own advice. We met up at the Copper Lounge for a cocktail and nachos. I don’t know how I had never been to this swanky bar. We talked about what we thought would happen at Macy’s…everything was still so unknown. The appointments I had scheduled for Sunday canceled, so I offered my services virtually. Luckily, I had an appointment for Monday, so I opted to take Sunday off and work Monday. We went on to Hollow Spirits another one of my favorite local places. Tried their Quarantini, noshed on their carne asada (absolutely love Chef Rogers’ menu) fries and bought bottles of their spirits. I convinced her to join me in Nob Hill the next day….knowing this area would probably be most impacted.
I picked her up from Macy’s and made our way to Central, parked behind the Nob Hill Business Center and made our way to the shops. We stopped in first to see my friend, Lyndsay, at Retail Therapy. It had been sooooo long since I had be able to stop by. We caught up on life and we purchased a few fun goods. We moved on to Gertrude Zachary but the mood on Central as apocalyptic. The streets were so quiet not the bustle on a Sunday that I had been accustomed to over the years of loving this area. Many shops and restaurants were closed. We moved on to Andy and Edie and I found a Paris barrette and Mermaid tee. We moved on to the new local shopping complex at Little Bear and bought sunflower seeds because I knew I could use them come spring. We purchased freshly made chocolate at the Chocolate Dude and popped in to Toad Road. We crossed the street and found a new lovely bath and body shop, LaVon Blu, owned by a mother and son duo. I stocked up on bath products. By that time we were famished, and I thought we could go support AMAZING chef, Bryan Romero, with Rancher’s Club. Arriving at the Crowne Plaza, again the parking lot was sparsely dotted with cars. It was even more haunting as we walked through the halls toward the restaurant. Sadly it wasn’t open but we found a space at the nearby lounge and ordered a bottle of Rose and lunch (and it gives me a reason to come back for a Sunday Supper). We sat by the windows and looked out at the patio. We talked about how fun it would be during the summertime. Headed home, I felt like I had done my part. I had also supported my other friends with online orders: the best beef jerky from Hunter Jaymes Meat Co and Clarity Pages (I figured if I’d be homebound I could work on my goals for the next 13 weeks) and later, 21 Flowers.
I know I got off track from Project Runway…but I think it is important for me to share this. I COULD NOT BE WHERE I AM WITHOUT THE SUPPORT OF MY LOCAL COMMUNITY SO IT IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT TO SUPPORT THEM. I went on to work on Monday. I reached out to George about the room. He asked that we take a look at it after work. I was in. I had also posted to my dear friends in the beauty industry if they would be available to help with hair and make-up and they responded in full force. That morning I sent out an email to my models and beauty team with the basic details, stating I would have the final location pinned down that evening and the look book on Tuesday night. Within an hour, I found out that one of my make up artists may have been exposed to COVID19 and was in for testing. She was so disappointed that she wouldn’t be able to help me–I told her not to worry but to take care of herself. We’d have many more opportunities to work together.
The day was again slow with not much traffic in the store. A change in our operational hours was set and we were going to have a leadership meeting that afternoon to discuss further. I had one scheduled appointment and was definitely going all out for this appointment. I was grateful she didn’t cancel and boy did we put together an incredible wardrobe for her (Thanks S, xoxo). I left work just before 5pm and met with George. We looked at a couple of spaces within the hotel. I mentioned that the most important components were good lighting (natural if possible) and good wifi access. We found both on the 19th floor. I was set and EXTREMELY grateful. I headed home driving along Rio Grande as I do when I want to decompress. It had been lightly raining and it felt and smelt wonderful. The rain made the landscape so vibrant and fed my senses….I had been feeling a little nervous about doing a Skype interview. I LOATHE Facetime and Skype meetings because I can see myself and fixate on the dopey facial expression I make. I wanted the directors to see and feel my creations and you really can’t do through the virtual experience.
I got home and peeled out the contact that was burning my eye. I couldn’t believe I had gone through the day with it in there. I didn’t have my glasses with me nor my contact solution or eye drops at work. My eye was bright red so I rinsed it out several times and put a cold compress on it. During that time, a couple of things happened. George informed me he had been furloughed and would let me know who my contact would be at the hotel. FUCK! Here we go. I asked him if there was anything he needed. Next, I saw that a post was circulating about supporting local while knocking corporate entities. It bothered because: 1. Do you remember Sears and Kmart? and 2. People I had supported personally were sharing it. I couldn’t let it go, so I posted my own response.
Out of that came a really good discussion with my hair stylist and friend, Amanda. We are all living in this crazy time. We need to be looking out for each other and not creating division. I was in so much pain and in the back of my head thinking how am I going to get to a doctor and would this red eye be present for my interview. However, we had such an incredible conversation that I couldn’t hang up (we were on for an hour and a half…those that know me know I am rarely on that long). I went to sleep and woke up in the morning feeling a little better but my eye was still horribly red. Since I didn’t have any appointments, I opted not to go in. I laid on the couch for a little while longer with my cold compress and bandana on my eye. It was around 10:30AM when I heard from Lee. Macy’s had made the decision to close the stores through March 31st. Once again, FUCK! It was the right thing to do for the safety of their employees and customers but it definitely got in my head for the next couple of hours.
Once I snapped out of it and realized I can make it work, I reached out to my friend Melissa, the stylist and owner of Scissorhands Hair Studio. I asked if we could move the whole production to her studio. She graciously said, “YES!”. I reached out to my stylist Amanda, with Mark Pardo, and asked if I could get in to have my bangs trimmed. She offered to come by my casita after she got off work (if you saw my PR video then you saw how much I was messing with them and I didn’t want to do that for the interview). Now that Macy’s was closed, I reached out to the woman who has beautified my look for several occasions and MAC boss, Stephanie, to see if she could help. She was in. Finally, I got to work on the lookbook.
I went on to schedule appointment times, staggering them as much as I could to ensure proper social distancing. I did not take this lightly and informed everyone that if for any reason they did not feel comfortable about taking part, I completely understood. Since Sofi works in the health field and with vulnerable patients she opted to do her own hair and make up. I was totally fine with that. Melissa asked if I could join her early to talk through the looks. When I arrived, the salon smelt like medical grade disinfectant. I asked if I can help with anything. She wanted to ensure everyone was safe and we made sure that everyone washed their hands thoroughly and that the beauty team wiped down their tools with alcohol after each use. Stephanie arrived about 10:30am and set up her station. Giselle and Jade arrived about 11AM and Melissa and Stephanie got to work.
About noon, Alyssia arrived and shortly thereafter, Sabrina joined us. As hair and make up was being done. I was the countdown clock. Kim and Krystina hadn’t arrived yet. Kim was trying to track down dog food and Krystina got busy packing and lost track of time. I had asked that I too have mine done, nothing too much. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t look like the walking dead. As the team was busy working, the governor had called a press conference to talk through closures, beginning March 18th, for the service industry: bars, restaurants, salons, movie theaters and malls….any large gathering place. My heart sank knowing how much this would impact our economy and the livelihood of the team I had in the room. Melissa had already informed me that she had made the difficult decision to close the salon for two weeks but the governor’s announcement extended for another week.
Kim and Krystina arrived just before 1PM and they immediately got to work. Sofi arrived around the same time. The contact from the casting company informed me that I would be on at 2PM, but that I should be on standby in the case they were running behind. I made sure we were ready by that time. Just before 2PM I received a message they were, were running about 35-45 minutes late. Up until that point, I was focused even though everyone was asking if I was nervous. Now that we had the down time, I started to focus on that energy. I asked the ladies to do a run through and thought about what I’d say. I worked through where I’d stand and where the models would come in and in what order.
Wearing my tall, chunky heels, and standing on an uneven surface, I almost fell through the glass door as I grabbed a hold of the wall to steady myself and not go crashing down, I noticed Skype line was ringing, but I couldn’t answer it. I think I hung up and it rang again but I couldn’t answer it. I asked someone who knew technology to help. Alyssia came over and said it was ringing. I realized I was the one calling. SMH! I got a message they needed another 15 minutes. ARGH!!!! We got it all figured out and I realized I would not stand on the textured surface for the interview.
At about 3PM, the line rang and the casting director, Noelle, came on. It was a gloomy, rainy day so I was in a spot that I could pull as much light as possible. As we spoke, she asked about turning my phone horizontally so they could get the best look possible. She also mentioned turning because the sun behind me was acting as a back light and she couldn’t see my face very well. I could not get my phone to work properly so asked if I could use a computer. Both Alyssia and Sabrina brought theirs, as they tried to download the Microsoft Skype App on their Mac computers (not easy at all), Sofi got it up on her phone, horizontally as asked. We got back online. Again because of the sun and the fact that I would have to go back and forth between me and the models, Noelle asked if I could have someone hold the phone and I stand with the models. Adriana, Jade’s mom, jumped in. It took a few more minutes to get the fashion director on the line, but once he was we were on our way. Except Sofi’s phone notified us that it was at 20% charge. We ran and got Sabrina’s computer and my charging cord and plugged it in (I swear technology does not like me and I’m sure there was some remnant Mercury in retrograde energy here).
I introduced myself and brought in the first model, Giselle. I talked about the sustainability of my line, how with my community of creatives to bring effortless beauty to women who appreciate it. I went on to bring in Alyssia to talk about how I’m inspired and utilize unconventional materials like the cockatiel feathers in the neckline. What I create has a story behind it. Like the dress on Sabrina, the image is my NYC photograph printed on poplin. It is lightweight but still makes a statement. I next brought on Sofi and talked about her look using organic linen and remnants from an upholstery scrap book but the devil is in the details with the clock buttons. I switch out her look last minute because I realized, I had no pants in my looks and again wanted to show the sustainability and use of unconventional materials in my creations. I ended the segment with my Carmen dress. I teased that while I like glam I’m not Christian Dior who would design with yards and yards of material to make a point during the rationing period of the 1940’s (it garnered a laugh from the director).
I was asked about my education in this space and I told him my story and how this is my passion project. The session concluded with a recap of what he felt I did well and opportunities (just like a Project Runway episode). He said from our conversation that I knew my customer and my design aesthetic. He like the sustainability and story behind my line. He said my technical skills, specifically fit, were my biggest opportunity. And I knew it. If I had made more time I would have done a fitting and edits before hand. The call ended with Noelle stating I needed to send photos of the looks and I would hear one way or another for the next two weeks…back to the waiting game.
Yesterday, my grandma and aunt Lisa called to check in. I told them I was hanging in there. My aunt said my grandma was praying to see me on Thursdays. “Thursdays?”, I asked. “Yeah, on Project Runway, but only if it is safe.” I almost cried. We really are a community and when we support each other, we are unstoppable. So many of you have asked me how it’s gone…and believe it or not, I kind of black out in these instances. But I feel I was true to me. We’ll see if they see that too….
And if I can’t be on Project Runway, maybe I can be a “hermit star”?!?
Thank you for all the positive energy and prayers. There is definitely more to come in this Ms. Adventure. In the meantime, if you are blessed to have disposable income during this period, please consider supporting your local businesses and non-profits. I have provided links to the ones I’ve noted above. I know I could not do what I do without their support and please feel free to share your favorites in the comments. I believe in the power of positivity, so until I can give you a big hug, laugh with you hysterically and loud where you can hear it across Macy’s or where ever we may be, and travel to see you, know that I am thinking of you and will probably send you a text or DM checking on you.
With SOOOO MUCH light and love, Dara Sophia Romero